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Amazon Apocalypse 4 Rewrites: Epilogue
🕑 Added 2024-12-17 18:38:50 +0000 UTCThe Reluna POV chunk is the same. Scroll down to the other section if you want the new thing.
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Reluna, in Crownhill
Reluna poured over her latest talisman, ink-stained fingers whetting her brush for the final time. Her legs ached from sitting so long, but this talisman would be a masterpiece, she was certain.
She held her breath, then with all the care of a surgeon, made the final stroke, completing the most elaborate talisman she’d ever done. She didn’t move a muscle until she was sure the ink had dried. Then, carefully, she poured mana into the swirling complex of lines. To anyone else, it would have looked like elaborate abstract art, full of geometric patterns, twisting spirals, and more than a few symbols deciphered from Carter’s mysterious books from the age of the Architects.
Congratulations, your Scribe job has reached level 189!
The notification marked her talisman a success. When she arrived, her scribe job had barely been a C-Grade, and now she found it at its very peak. These ancient books were a source of limitless inspiration and new ideas for her, and already, she was making talismans her professors could never have dreamed of.
Then Reluna slapped her creation down on the artifact Carter showed her, called a copy machine. Instantly, the machine replicated her one masterwork talisman into a hundred.
Congratulations, your Scribe job has reached level 190!
Congratulations, your Scribe job has reached level 191!
Congratulations, your Scribe job has reached level 192!
The levels came in one after another, slowly diminishing over time as though the System was catching on to her trick. But as soon as she came up with a new design, the copy machine would give her another flood of new levels.
When she’d agreed to follow Carter to Crownhill and investigate for Chaos God influence, she hadn’t dreamed this newly integrated world would be such a treasure-trove of wonders. First, ancient books containing lost secrets of enchantment, and then mysterious artifacts that could churn out talismans faster than an army of scribes?
This place was too good to remain untroubled for long. Soon, the System would allow C-Grades like her to come and go from this realm. And when they did, the rest of the Arcadia Multiverse would surely take notice. Already, she knew this place had caught the eyes of the Chaos Gods. Along with one other she couldn’t yet place...
***
On a realm shrouded in ancient magic, far from the Arcadia Multiverse...
The cherry blossoms never stopped falling on the grounds of the Eternal Spring Sect. Junior disciples could be seen wielding brooms and rakes as they carted away all they could to keep the courtyard looking clean. Being put on courtyard duty for a year or two was the most common punishment for low-ranking disciples. Other sects might have used slaves for the task, but not the Eternal Spring Sect.
A lone woman dressed vivid jade crossed the field of cherry blossoms. On a realm of mortals, any that saw her would know her for a goddess by sight alone. But this realm was an ancient one that had been old even before the creation of the accursed System. This was a world with more immortals than could be counted, and it held sway over a vast many lesser realms where mortals and weaker cultivators ruled like feudal lords.
Before the beautiful goddess, another woman stood and bowed. In any other company, she would have been a heart-stopping beauty in her own right, but not now.
"Inner Disciple Jade, it's an honor to greet you. This one pays her respects." the other woman bowed low.
"Outer Disciple Hyacinth, lift your head. We are both disciples of the sect, there is no need to bow."
"Elder Sister, you are too kind to this one. I did not think one such as you would remember my humble name," Hyacinth said, not lifting her head.
The goddess known as Jade let out a brief sigh. Despite her change of title, she still felt like a girl at heart. She went into closed door meditation for a few short centuries, and when she emerged everyone was calling her Elder Sister, and most of those who joined the sect with her were wrinkle-faced or dead. If she didn't remedy things soon, she might develop a heart demon.
"I am here to see the Ancestor," Jade said.
At that, Outer Disciple Hyacinth finally lifted her head. "She said you would come and sent me here to greet you. Please follow."
Jade followed Hyacinth. Both women walked with elegant measured steps, though each stride carried them further than it should. The Ancestor they were looking for made her home on a mountain's peak. Even immortal cultivators would have a tough time finding her, but Hyacinth and Jade were both exceptional individuals and had no trouble finding their way up the winding path.
There, an old crone waited for them with a hot pot of tea. She was already sipping from hers, but there another cup waited across from her for her guest.
"Sit, Jade," the old crone waved, eyes closed, but sensing her guests nonetheless. Every cultivator had spirit sight, and the spirit sight of an Ancestor was keen.
Jade bowed low to the old crone in formal greeting. "Ancestor Nightshade, thank you for hearing me. I wanted to speak of our recent joint venture with the Black Beast Sect."
"The decision has been made, girl. The Black Beast Sect may be filled with scoundrels and thieves, but our current arrangement will allow them to take on the bulk of the risk while we reap the bulk of the rewards. Of all the System's protectors, the House of Vaust's grip is most tenuous. Their resources are stretched thin, and they are close to breaking. Once they fall, we could liberate an entire chunk of worlds from System control. They will at last be free to live naturally, as the heavens decreed they should."
"They will live as slaves to the Black Beast Sect, you mean," Jade corrected.
Ancestor Nightshade shrugged, then took another sip of her tea. "They are slaves to the System already. I know these last few hundred years you've projected your likeness to many worlds in need. If you are here to ask I help you move them somewhere safer, then I must disappoint you."
Truthfully, that had been one of the things Jade hoped to ask, but she saw it would be a fruitless task. So instead, she asked for something smaller.
"Not the worlds, I know asking for those would be too much. I came to volunteer. It has been some time since I've left the sect to train."
Ancestor Nightshade's eyes widened fractionally. "You would lead the Everlasting Spring disciples into battle? Truly? I thought you were concentrated on your ascension?"
"I have divined my fate, and time and again the will of the Heavens sends me there. I must go."
Ancestor Nightshade nodded, hand on her chin. "Perhaps a heaven-defying artifact has appeared there that will improve your odds of ascension. Go with my blessing. If any of the other Ancestors give you grief, send them my way. A slightly higher chance of you succeeding in your breakthrough is worth losing the entire expedition."
"Thank you, Ancestor," Jade bowed.
"And Jade, remember, so long as you bring back wealth and influence for the sect, anything else can be overlooked," Ancestor Nightshade said. Her eyes hinted at a smile.
Jade returned it, bowing lower this time before departing.
One thing she kept to herself, though. The fate calling to her wasn't an item or rare ascension material. It was a person, and his name was Carter Smith.
Previous | End
<Note>
New POV scene. The Reluna chunk hasn't changed at all, but the conclusion readers will probably come to has based on the new context.
I haven't decided on which of the epilogues to use. The Goddess in Jade scene or the Vayly Vaust scene? I know there were some people concerned about Vayly Vaust being too much more powerful than Carter, similar to Thalassa. I don't think it would be quite the same, since Vayly would be the incompetent leader rather than someone directly opposed to Carter and hunting him down. But yes, they will come into conflict eventually, just not too soon.
I think the Vayly scene is better written. It's more interesting in isolation. That being said, if I know you guys, you'd much prefer to read about a sexy goddess over an arrogant and bitchy tyrant. I'm not 100% yet, but I'm leaning slightly toward the Goddess in Jade epilogue, especially if I can think of a way to make the scene more interesting.
Let me know what you think in the comments. And yes, I know the new chapter 71 was problematic for people. I'm thinking about how to tone down Myrina's antics a bit, after which I think most of you guys will declare the rewrite superior.
I will be going dark a bit, but I've gotten some work done outlining book 5 and have even written some of the intro scenes. A "What do you want to see in book 5?" thread is coming soon. I hope to be posting again before Christmas.
Comments
Vorsayo
I think both epilogues are good and worth being included. This can really set up some big dominos to fall in the future. It is also really important I think to show what is wrong with the system and get the idea in the readers head that fixing these issues is the end game for Carter, I feel the system has been guiding Carter down this path with his crafting classes so that he will be in a position to fix this when he ultimately destroys Vaust. If the corruption of the system and enslavement that is caused for to it is due to the architecture manipulation then is removed then I could be brought back to being a neutral power and end the cultivation sides issue with it in the first place.
Hans
Jup, I can't wait for him to make a splash as well. The system is a good starting point, but something to grow beyond. The only inconsistency is, wiht that many enemies of such power, how the system continues to exist at all.
jmundt33a
Looks like Carter is being set up to crush Black Beast and learn cultivation as a first step onto the wider galactic stage.
jmundt33a
Ladwick? Say what? Seems like Jade is a unique soul on her side. Her meditation has stabilized and slowed her aging process, and she’s kept an oar in with several worlds in need.
steven johnston
It just depends on how much you plan on flushing out the worlds and it's denizens.
Marvin
I knew it was you! Next time I will have to put up a stronger ward against your fate magic.
Marvin
Maybe! It does sorta force me into spending more time on Ladwick than I thought to flesh both out, but it could be worth it.
NovaZero
My Birthday is soon so the strict karmic luck is making sure I get to win without having to stun you with my victorious villain monologue. Er, I mean... How dare you make a mistake! Do better-er umm.
NovaZero
Yeah it does feel premature to be unveiling it. Even if Carter crossed into B grade we get the annoying cultivator aspect that defines the brackets of strength. If something like the system was a competing re-context of the power dynamics where peak C-Grade Carter can break the mold in power brackets but be bound by the operational parameters of the system then that might be interesting... But that would step this thing into the system vs cultivation shtick and we're not even into that hard LitRPG side to begin with so ehhhhhh. Besides, do we really need to know? I see a bit of a scope creep when we could just go to another faction that Carter might link up with where the rest of the Arcadia multiverse would choke on a bag of dicks if they ever came to earth and that would help in speeding up Carter's integration arc to set up whatever future hijinks. As much as I wanted Theo to explore other worlds in Spellheart, there's just some settings where that gets far too contrived and unfocused so I dunno.
steven johnston
Why not just make it a 3 part epilogue? I have enjoyed both.
ArbabSB
Both epilogues have their appeal. My concern with the Vaust epilogue was that even before the campaign to reclaim that world started, we see behind the curtain to the uber-powerful tyrant who is further up the ladder of Carter's to-be foes, so the significance of the campaign arc becomes questionable. But I may be judging too quickly given we have yet to see your implementation of it. And showing the state of the enslaved System is a good plot hook. It was good to see the Goddess in Jade again, and I'm interested to see what she's planning, especially how she'll deal with Carter while being on the opposing side of the conflict. This epilogue definitely increased my excitement for the next book.
jmundt33a
I think both Valyly and Jade have their place. One is overtly corrupt and incompetent. The other is uncaring and indolent. If Carter wants a truly new future, he has to take the best of both sides and sweep away the rest. Their us is dropping into a two-front war that only his brother-in-law can help him win. Perfect.
Ken Horne
I like this one, but the other gives a good impression of what's wrong with the system.
Marvin
Damn. Accidentally published this instead of scheduled it. One sec. I guess I have to release 74 early too.
