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Amazon Apocalypse 4 [Deleted Chapter]: Chapter 73
🕑 Added 2024-12-06 16:00:08 +0000 UTCI woke, yawned, stretched, and realized I couldn’t move. I looked down to find Cyra’s arms wrapped tightly around my chest. The tattered remains of the Lasso of Amazonian Binding lay nearby. While the magical rope had proved its worth on the battlefield, it wasn’t quite strong enough for use in the bedroom.
I was quite comfortable where I was, so I sat there awhile, admiring my new wife’s sleeping face. She looked so peaceful and snuggled up against me, and she even had a cute little smile on her lips.
Despite the serenity of the moment, I couldn’t help but feel like I was forgetting something. I’d stayed up late the previous night with Cyra, so it took a while to focus on what I was doing before I’d defeated her in the tournament and claimed her as my own.
The tournament! That was it, I was forgetting the final match was today.
I glanced out the window and saw the sun was already high in the sky. Normally, Myrina woke me up long before then. Perhaps she hadn’t wanted to stumble in on her sister all doe-eyed and naked and so hadn’t woken me. I probably should have set an alarm on my phone.
I had to use Shadowrealm Stride to escape Cyra’s grip, but eventually, I slipped away, dressed, and checked the time. I would be cutting things close, but I still had time to quickly eat. I rummaged around for some of Bridget’s leftovers, then quickly heated them with my aethersmith abilities. The smell of hot food woke Cyra up, and she joined me for a big breakfast.
“That was more intense than I thought it’d be...” Cyra said, face still flushed from last night’s activities.
I chuckled. “Well, it didn’t have to be. You’re the one who made it that intense. I really do need to explain something to you, though. You’ll notice you lost some levels. That’s from an ability of mine. After my match with Myrina today.”
“I know already, Carter. Bridget and Sakura told me most of it,” Cyra replied.
“Oh...” My mind went back to the previous night. Apparently, Cyra hadn’t been as helplessly enthralled by my magic cock as I thought she’d been. “Well, regardless, I’m sure there’s lots of stuff we need to talk about.”
“I won’t say no to another night out with you. But right now, you have an arena match to get to.” Cyra smiled warmly.
And then we were off to Doomblade’s Armory, where we checked in with Gobgob to pick up my Doomblade Armor. But when we arrived, it was nowhere to be found.
Gobgob was out speaking with a customer, so I went out to get her.
“No lassos for sale yet,” Gobgob said. She spoke to a young man with large spectacles, a scrawny, hunch-back build, and a fiendish glint in his eyes.
“B-but when they are, I can use them to... you know... win myself an amazonian girlfriend?” he rubbed his hands together eagerly.
“Why wait? Grab one of those cheap swords over there and challenge somebody. I hear there’s this big lady stalking the city near the arena. Just your type, go on.” I pointed him toward the swords.
“Really? You think I could impress her with this?” he asked.
“Sure, go get her.” I patted him on the back and urged him toward the register.
“He’s going to get his ass kicked by my cousin,” Cyra warned.
“Better he fails utterly early. I’m sure she’ll teach him a lesson he’ll never forget. Still, maybe I shouldn’t have revealed those lassos.”
Cyra shrugged. “If you sell them, you should also sell magic knives that can cut the lassos. Everybody will be buying one within the week.”
I chuckled. “Oh my, Cyra! Perhaps there’s a devious merchant in you after all. Don’t share that idea with Cyra, or I’ll have to implement it.”
Then, I turned to Gobgob, who was looking at Cyra nervously. This was the first time she’d met the big Amazonian woman, though no doubt the resemblance to Myrina was obvious.
“Gobgob, this is Cyra. Cyra, this is Gobgob. Now that we’re all introduced, I have to ask. Gobgob, where’s my Doomblade armor?”
“With your tough red-hair warrior mate,” Gobgob replied. Then she eyed Cyra. “Uh... the other one.”
“With Myrina. Okay. Did she say where she was going?” I asked. I was worried we’d missed her. Myrina might be at Bridget’s apartment right now, wondering where we’d gone.
“She said, ‘Don’t worry. My master plan is nearly complete.’” Gobgob shrugged her shoulders.
“Master plan?” Cyra glanced at me.
My brows drew tight. I’d forgotten Myrina was scheming something. And I’d promised to follow her lead. But what could she be scheming today of all days? The day she and I were due to fight in the arena?
“Wait... she wouldn’t cheat, would she? Get me disqualified because I didn’t show up?” I asked Cyra.
Cyra raised an eyebrow, clearly indicating she didn’t think her little sister was above cheating.
“To the arena, quick!” I said, and Cyra and I took off.
In my head, I was already running through several options. I could probably get Myrina to give me my armor if I could get to her. Otherwise, I’d have to throw together a set from what I had in my bag of holding. It wouldn’t look like Doomblade, but was there any point to the disguise anymore? I’d won Cyra over already, which was what my plan had been all about.
Maybe it would be better to kick Myrina’s ass and win the tournament as myself. It would be satisfying to blast Feisty Redhead around the arena with spells and show the crowd she wasn’t so unbeatable after all. And besides, I still had the secret vibrator I’d added to her suit. That ought to slow her down at inopportune times.
“Come on, I can get us in through the competitor’s entrance,” Cyra said.
I’d been heading there already, but I had forgotten that without my armor, nobody would recognize me. Luckily, I had Cyra with me. Security tried to stop us, but they backed away when they spotted Cyra and saw her running forward and showing no sign of stopping.
By the time we’d made it through the entrance, I settled on the plan to enter the arena in a slapdash suit of armor and then reveal myself as soon as the fight started when I heard the announcer speaking to the crowd.
“Get ready folks, the tournament’s grand conclusion, Doomblade versus Feisty Redhead!”
Cyra and I glanced at one another.
“Aren’t you Doomblade?” Cyra asked, suddenly sounding worried.
“I am,” I confirmed.
“Then who’s that?” Cyra pointed into the arena sands, where my armor stood tall and proud. It still bore some marks from my fight with Cyra, but Gobgob had cleaned the worst of it up.
“Myrina, what are you playing at?” I ran my hand through my hair, suddenly realizing I was too late. Myrina had hatched her scheme, and at this point, the tournament organizers would never believe I was the real Doomblade.
In contrast, Cyra seemed relaxed at my side. “You said before Myrina is Feisty Redhead, right?” Cyra pointed to the armored woman in question.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“I think that’s changed. If you’re going to place a bet, place it on Doomblade. If I know my little sister, I think I know what she’s planning.”
I did just as Cyra instructed and placed a fairly substantial bet on Doomblade, who was the underdog in this match. When we found seats to watch, the fight was about to begin.
The announcer spoke loudly for all to hear.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we have an unprecedented situation here. Two individuals from the team bouts are up against one another, both unknown to us before this tournament! One is the fearsome and unstoppable Feisty Redhead, whose sword skill has overwhelmed countless foes! The other is the devious Doomblade, whose bag of holding is always full of tricks to counter his enemies and crush them beneath the perfect combination of talismans and items! Once more, we are gathered in the desperate hope that skill will finally prevail and prove I didn’t waste my entire youth practicing in the arena!”
Moments later, the match began, and I immediately spotted several differences between my fighting style and that of the person currently wearing my armor. Normally, Myrina rushed forward as soon as a match began. She was fearless and eager to test her opponent’s defenses. My fighting style as Doomblade was much more cautious and reserved. I had a given number of magical tools and wanted to deploy them sparingly.
Today, that dynamic had reversed. Doomblade was the one to rush forward, sword in hand. Feisty Redhead held a well-practiced guard, though it wasn’t one quite as refined as Cyra’s. Now, I was certain Cyra was right. Myrina was in my armor, and someone else was in hers.
Swords met clashed, and Doomblade unleashed a series of reckless blows. Each swing of the mighty sword I’d made to accompany my hulking armor took nearly an entire second. Yet, the huge tower shield was always right where it needed to be to deflect any retaliatory strikes.
The announcer noted the suddenly aggressive style as soon as I did.
“Looks like Doomblade intends to fight like a man after all! Grudgingly, I must admit he has some skill with the blade to stay in the fight against Feisty Redhead so long without his usual tricks!”
The fight continued for many long minutes, swords flashing and blades singing in the air. The pace picked up, and soon Feisty Redhead was on the defensive. Doomblade swung wide, was countered, swung, and was countered again, but on the third blow, her sword was out of position enough that a simple step forward and a tower shield shove knocked her off balance. Doomblade’s enormous sword swatted her aside, and she went skidding in the sands, much to the crowd’s interest.
Feisty Redhead seemed to have enough playing around then, and she pulled a shield off her back. Bright blue light shimmered around it, taking the shape of a magically reinforced shield.
The crowd gasped in awe at the sight, since this was obviously a skill. Until now, Feisty Redhead had been quite reluctant to use any skills. That she was doing so now meant she was finally taking the fight seriously.
But it told me something else. That magic shield definitely wasn't one of Myrina's abilities.
Doomblade and Feisty Redhead clashed again, and this time Feisty Redhead had the advantage. Her power armor granted her massively enhanced stats, but she clearly had a great arsenal of abilities and keen knowledge on how to use them. Crimson light covered her sword, and bright pink sparks exploded beneath her heels, speeding her steps and making her movements unpredictable.
The two armored fighters clashed several times before Doomblade finally drove her back long enough for a breather.
Then, Doomblade spoke. The voice seemed slightly off to me, but most of the crowd wouldn’t have heard it often enough to tell.
“You have some skill, Feisty Redhead. Out of all my opponents in this tournament, only you are worthy of my true power!”
Doomblade grabbed the belt pouches and, one by one, pried them off and tossed them in the sand.
“Oh no. Don’t tell me. Is she...?” I began.
“She is.” Cyra nodded.
“What’s this? Doomblade seems to be indicating that he’s not going to use any of his tricks today? Will we finally see justice served? Or is he that confident that his armor will hold? And what’s all this about his true power?” the announcer asked the crowd.
Doomblade’s hands went to the helmet. Fingers pressed the latch, and the helmet came free, revealing a wave of red hair and a familiar smiling face. She dropped the helm in the sand beneath her, combed fingers through her red locks, and wore one of the biggest grins I’d ever seen on her.
“Now you face Myrina Samhain, unrivaled warrior and the Blade of Doom!” Myrina spread her arms wide, inviting attack.
For a moment, the arena seemed silent. Myrina’s revelation had shocked them all, especially the announcer.
“C-could it be? Could Doomblade... no, could Myrina Samhain actually be a warrior, after all? We’ve all heard the name Samhain, but who is this mysterious woman who disguised herself as Doomblade? Could she really be a warrior after all the cheating tricks she used so far?”
Feisty Redhead stood again, sword at the ready. For a moment, I thought she would reveal herself too, but she stayed silent as she engaged Myrina again.
Myrina tossed aside the hulking tower shield and took Doomblade’s sword in both hands. Her speed and skill with the blade seemed to suddenly increase tenfold. Where before, Feisty Redhead had been a match for her. Now it was clear she was the better of the two, and not just with her sword.
Myrina stomped the arena beneath her, churning the sands and throwing Feisty Redhead off her feet. She swung her blade wide, whipping the wind until a miniature sandstorm swept across the arena. She jumped, and the feet of her power armor tread on nothing but air. Despite being big and heavy in her armor, she shifted direction in an instant and hit like a mountain come to life.
Like me, Myrina had held back most of her abilities besides the ones she could use subtly. She’d just been relying on her Feisty Redhead armor to do the heavy lifting, but now she made liberal use of her abilities, and make use of them she did. I saw a dozen opportunities where she could have ended the fight, but instead, she let Feisty Redhead recover each time so the battle would last a little longer. And the longer the battle wore on, the mightier Myrina’s strikes grew.
I knew it was thanks to Myrina’s legendary ability, Tempo of Battle, which increased her stats the longer a fight lasted. But I rarely saw it on full display, as I saw now. Myrina was a goddess of war. Each clash of metal shook the stands, and each battle cry pierced the air.
The announcer began mumbling, as though overcome with fervent awe.
“Ladies and gentlemen... we are witnessing history in the making. I take back everything I ever said about Doomblade. She’s a warrior without equal! A paragon of the sword! An indomitable champion of warrior spirit! No wonder all others saw only parlor tricks during their matches with her. None of them were worthy of witnessing such heaven-defying skill! I tell you here and now, folks, if I could still fight, I would jump from this balcony into the sands below just for the opportunity to be trampled upon by such a warrior!”
While the audience roared cheers of overwhelming approval, I glanced at Cyra in shock.
“Wait... that’s it? I spent weeks getting called a rotten cheater, and Myrina swings her sword a few times and suddenly the announcer is begging to eat the sand she walks on?”
Cyra laughed. “Life is not always fair, but think positively. This was a surprisingly good turn for us. Myrina must have been working on this plan for weeks.”
“Myrina? Planning? What?”
“This must be her doing. Now, my family faces no public embarrassment over someone defeating two promising young matriarchs, my cousin and me. All who witnessed that fight know they were bested by another Samhain, and our honor is unblemished. It also solidly secures our family’s goal of attaining leadership over the Dragon Lodge’s auxiliary unit. We may not have the clanswoman we expected in charge of the unit, but we do have it.”
“That’s... a good point. But Myrina couldn’t have possibly planned all this out so far in advance... could she?”
I thought back to the last few weeks and how she’d seemed sharper than usual ever since the tournament began. About how she’d vanished and swiftly taken care of Patriarch Darkbinding to keep him from exposing our secret identities. She’d gone through the tournament hiding her skills just as I had, all for this revelation. And of how she’d woken me up before every match until now so I’d get used to her reminding me... then she stopped right on the final day so I’d oversleep and miss this.
Could I have been wrong all this time? Was Myrina actually good at this?
Thinking back, my mind went to that time she’d bought goods on lines of credit and resold them for coin, or the time arrived at the perfect moment to deal with Lisette permanently, or all the times she drank until she passed out to allow me to set up my secret Mana Bomb supply line in Valkyrie’s Watch. Each of those incidents had seemed like irresponsible, comically reckless decisions. Often downright stupid. And yet, they’d all worked out for us in the end.
Perhaps I had Myrina wrong all along? Maybe there was a fiendishly clever schemer somewhere deep down, hidden beneath a fortress of impulsivity and ridiculousness. Still, something didn’t quite feel right to me. While this had all turned out well for us, it didn’t feel like the kind of scheme Myrina would come up with. There had to be something else she was after.
“And the winner of this match, and our tournament, is the majestic, magnificent, unrivaled, supremely talented, Myrina Samhain! Do you have anything to say to your adoring fans, grand champion?” the announcer shouted to the roar of the crowd.
Myrina waited, hand held high as the applause slowly died.
“Thank you all for coming. I love it when things come together like this. I’m rather fond of my nickname. When I’m in this armor, call me Doomblade.”
The crowd roared in approval, chanting my name, though now it belonged to Myrina.
“Doomblade! Doomblade! Doomblade!”
I stood from my seat, eyes wide. The gesture was lost among the enormous crowd, as was my shouting a moment later.
“That was it! This was her plan all along. She wanted to steal my awesome nickname!”
Now, it made sense to me. Stealing my secret identity had been her plan all along. Everything else was surely just a coincidence.
Right?
<Note>
End of book 4, but there will be an epilogue.
Comments
NA
So ... you're arguing that Marina is behaving like Carter? This tournament arc alone is him lying to Cyra's and upending Cyra's and his clan's plans because he's in a snit that she didn't involve him in one aspect of her life. The adult thing to do would be to talk to her about it, instead of concocting an elaborate scheme of deception. In general Carter lies or omits important information all the time , including to his own allies and hides plans from them throughout all four books. I think it's entertaining and hilarious to read about, and root for Carter along with everyone else, but if anyone I know behaved in reality the way Carter has in this book, I'd ditch them like a rotten potato because the secrets, lies, and "I know what's best for you/us" attitude is incredibly toxic.
Austin Wolf
Oh yeah she was totally trying to steal his nickname
loco3991
Myrina has also been stealing from the store, and not a small quantity but over 300 magic swords. I think it was meant as a joke but come on, it paints her as selfish person that willing to do anything to get her way
Marauder
No, the problem comes from the fact that Myrina thought it was okay to completely screw over Carter, take credit for everything he has done so far including the armor he developed, to saddle him with a ton of problems he'll have to keep fixing for her. All so she could steal his nickname. Myrina just screwed him in a ton of ways, did so callously and in an incredibly mean spirited way. Publically no less, turning him into the butt of an elaborate joke and for the most flimsy of reasons. And anyone else involved in this, such as Gobgob and likely Sakura think doing this to Carter was entirely fine and acceptable.
Darius Sanguna
How would this make the Samhain look bad? At this point Carter functionally is a Samhain. They're the only Clan he has any real connection to in the multiverse, nobody else has a claim to him. On top of that he doesn't just have one, but two Samhain wives, so he clearly didn't get them just for the prestige.
Caffinated1
I enjoyed the ending (though I believe there should be a post fight talk between Carter and Myrina). And thinking about Myrina's actions she has always been willing to do whatever she can to get what she wants. She also tracked down and kidnapped a clan head without anyone noticing before the rest of the team even figured out who he was. So she clearly isn't an idiot, she just has different opinions on common sense.
Colten Carr
Yes this way might free up carter for the arc on the shard to deal with the golems by having Myrina win. However it would have been better for him to get the notoriety in the greater universe as a new powerhouse. The Samhain clan and few members of the dragons lodge knows what he can do. However to the greater universe he has no standing. It can be used in later books as a way to boost his sense of importance and a reason people should take notice. If he won he could still delegate it to Cyra. Since she wouldn’t have anything to do since she cant go to earth. He should win by using his magic though show casing he understands magic and how to use it especially commanding the magical auxiliary.
Marvin
There will be some answers to this in the epilogue, though the ending might shift a bit in the final.
NA
Fun and entertaining ending with a twist. One of the nice aspects of this series is the agency of the harem in particular and other characters in general. So Sakura hijacks Carter's store, and Myrina gets a cool name while (incidentally or not) maintaining her clan's reputation. Kind of hoped Cyra would figure out that Boisterous Redhead is Myrina and that Doomblade must be Carter since she knows already that he is an artificer. That would really have hit Carter in the ego. Wonder if folk's issue with Myrina in the ending comes from lack of explicitly telegraphing her intelligence. We do see that she's fairly smart in previous books, though my memory might be failing me. But we're also limited to Carter's perspective and he is neither omniscient nor infallible. Like, in first third or so of the book where Crownhill cleans up the remaining enemies, Carter comes up with plans and tells others what to do with no discussion, planning, or post-mortems when things go pear-shaped. Even though Myrina and Reluna are the only two people in Crownhill with formal education and possibly experience on how to deal with things like the Lich King. Ditto when he fixates on forcing a duel with Cyra or is figuring out merchandise for the shop or has legal trouble, where Myrina would have specific relevant knowledge as sibling, target demographic, and professional respectively. ANYways, presumably the Feisty Redhead armor is in this chapter inhabited by Sakura? She has a weapon reinforcement skill, and the shield reinforcement sounds like a natural progression. If so, will we find out how long she's been in on Myrina's scheme and how much influence she had on it? Curious how Cyra's marriage will work. From what I understand, the marriage duel is a public ceremony, same as marriages in our world have a public component to be legally valid and binding. Publicly, unless they come clean, seems like it'd be Cyra married to Myrina and then to Carter as a transitive property of Myrina's marriage. Did Myrina check if a shared tournament personage is permitted by the rules?
CrookedShepherd
Wait, myrina is a secret genius? If that was true why wasn't she helping cyra or Carter this whole time? I'm fine with her being a bit of an idiot-savant, being capable planning when she has a particular whim, but otherwise it's a bit of a retcon of her character
NovaZero
Uh yeah that was kinda dumb. And we're ending on this?
jmundt33a
I agree with Vorsayo. Having the tournament with a solid ending (that doesn’t compromise your foundation) is vital.
jmundt33a
@Ken Horne—At home, sure. On the planet where she grew up…maybe it’s a prank. Not at the tournament about her brother’s war that will impact ALL of them.
CL
This kind of ruins Myrina's character for me. She has lied, manipulated, and hid her true nature from the others for that long? It doesn't really track. I mean, we're how many books in and we're just now discovering that she's actually Keyser Soze!
Darius Sanguna
Myrina can still have her plan, that is as easily resolved as Carter storing the Doomblade armor before she can get to it, thus foiling the plan. And then she gets all pouty after the duel because she didn't get her way.
Ken Horne
To me, this seemed more like a prank than betrayal. Carter agreed to follow Myrina's lead already. I'm sure he would have gone along with it if she told him.
Vorsayo
Yep, and there is no way to equip it with out Carter’s rune skill as he got rid of the hatch to eliminate that weakness.
Vorsayo
Yep, my thoughts exactly, seems like a huge issue and betrayal for a cheap laugh at the end of the book.
Vorsayo
No!!! Don’t cut the tournament it has been great so far it’s just the finale that needs to be redone. You can make the fight with Myrina short but don’t cut the tournament out of this book it is a great high note to end the book on. Would rather lose the short story and have a gap with no chapters than have this be the ending to the book.
Vorsayo
But he could appoint Cyra as his second in command and work with her to lead the auxiliaries, have her lead when he needs to go to Crownhill and it would make sense for the auxiliaries to have a teleportation mage that could easily bring back in a moment when needed.
Darius Sanguna
Gonna be honest Marvin, this is much too convoluted a solution just to free up Carter to do stuff in Crownhill. You essentially had Myrina betray Carter, it's minor but still a betrayal, when Carter could've just delegated. Hell, he wouldn't even have needed to reveal that he is Doomblade to the public, he could've just stuffed someone else into the armor, with the blessing of the Samhain, and send them to war.
Vorsayo
Sorry Marvin, this is not a good ending at all. I have a longer explanation for why in a reply on another comment. It’s too the point that if I was reading this as a finished book this ending would have caused me to lose a lot of my interest in the story going forward. Again sorry but it is what it is.
Darius Sanguna
@Ken Horne, it isn't about who ultimately won, but the fact that Myrina thinks that it is okay to betray Carter over something as stupid as her wanting his shiny nickname for herself. That just isn't okay.
Vorsayo
Sorry Marvin, you know I’m one of your biggest fans, but I agree this is a tear down. This is an incredibly lame/akward way to end the tournament, it invalidates Carter’s marriage duel, it ruins the fun crazy zany chaotic good character that we all have come to love called Myrina, Doomblade’s armor is FAR more advanced than Feisty Redhead’s her armor is just mark 1 armor with some more advanced modifications and as mentioned many times before requires Carter’s aethersmith abilities to use, this is beside the fact that the armor has no hatch for a wearer to just get into, this was a decent sized plot point about getting rid of the hatch weakness that Bridget exploited and how he solved it by having the armor be equipped using that skill and summoning it with him already in it, there is also no way he didn’t curse it like he has the mark 1 armor he has been selling so no one can steal it and use it against him or anyone else, this doesn’t make sense Carter is already married to one Samhain Amazonian when he beat that other Amazonian and then Cyra he has the friend of the Samhain tattoo, it should bring no dishonor to the clan as he is formidable in his own right, I can’t speak for everyone else but I was looking forward to Carter leading the auxiliaries of the Dragon Lodge as a jade badge holder it would be kind of perfect, and it is an awesome way to show the Samhain, the Emperor and all of Glacia that he isn’t some push over and deserves to be married to both the daughters and use that for networking with the larger multiverse. Plus it makes no sense to have Myrina lead the auxiliaries, she is brash and hotheaded and loves doing her own thing, great for a squad leader horrible for the leader of the auxiliaries. Finally part of the reason Carter was such a good choice for the MAGE auxiliaries is that he is you know actually a mage and will no how to better utilize them.
George
But Cyra can still fit there. We can have Myrina and Cyra working together, with some internal conflict that Carter can manage while pushing them both to grow in command experience. Carter gets to let them take command, do his own thing, but when they struggle and need help he can come in and fix shit.
jmundt33a
Okay. Best I can figure, this is meant to be a David Larrabee moment. The handsome spendthrift wastrel who has been known for going through careers and relationships like the changing seasonal fashions suddenly settles down to give his responsible elder brother (who has been all but consumed by preserving the family legacy and expanding family holdings) the chance to leave and chase the person both brothers truly love. Amazingly, younger brother finds an outlet for all his slumbering talents and the family becomes even more prosperous and powerful. That turn happens in the last 10 minutes of a movie. And that might be sellable with hints like her suddenly running up tabs IF it were new behavior once Carter joined her in her homeland. But 1. It’s not 2. Everybody acknowledges it’s not (including her) and 3. She engages in the same behavior WHILE being punished for it. Her auction house behavior is also well-known to both her mother and sister and significantly predates her efforts to get Carter sponsored and brought over.
Mistweaver
I think the ending will work as written with an epilogue that is basically a discussion with the Samhain clan that clears up that Carter was actually Doomblade for all but the last fight, myrina was actually just trying to steal the name as was not some long-term master planner, and Cyra is the best to lead the troops. Not a lot of rewriting needed. I think all of us really enjoy the story, but this twist at the end just needs a little cleanup. I totally agree that Carter needs to get back to the Shard and not get tied up leading the Samhain troops.
jmundt33a
Until this went up, I’d have been shattered by that news. But this is a bit like the split on the Lisette story, but more intense because it’s more central. This has to be dealt with one way or the other.
jmundt33a
That’s where Cyra would fit. Maybe he could delegate to her or…you don’t really have any reliable mages introduced for this command structure yet. Daamn. Better him delegate as an absentee than the Samhains just charge headlong at every problem. Both sisters have same strategy deficit on the battlefield. At least at command level.
loco3991
Not only the she ruined the marriage duel, but this would have been the perfect chance to show the samhai clan that Carter is in fact a asset and a powerful ally.
Marvin
I appreciate it, but I had a lot woven into this ending. If I change it, a lot of other things need to change, starting with Myrina having a plan. IDK if I’m going to be able to do the short story still.
jmundt33a
There were some bumps about which round we were in, but until this twist, the whole thing felt great.
Marvin
Mostly, I want Carter to have the freedom to come and go. I have an arc in Crownhill planned, and he can’t sneak off to deal with a shard of golems back home if he is stuck as a commander.
Marvin
There were hints though. When Myrina racked up a bunch of debt, Carter suspected it was an excuse to get spending money and more time with him (which it was).
Marvin
I will have to tweak some stuff. I thought I could have the talk with the Samhain family about the duel be next book, but seems not. It’s going to take some thinking to figure out how much I should fix. This novel is already way over my word count goal so I don’t really want to stretch it further. It might be smarter to cut the whole tournament and move it to next book, though that will involve removing a lot of the Cyra romance in earlier sections.
jmundt33a
She just crippled the war effort AND screwed up Carter’s courtship with Cyra. I am as enraged as that business professor in Cocktail right now.
Bryan Ritter
As an ending this is awkward. Doesn't feel right.
George
I do not agree with the haters and enjoy that Myrina clearly did all this to steal the better nickname. 10/10 character decision that's believable. That being said, maybe add a chapter before this or put it in the epilogue where the family confirms that they know Carter won the duel and the marriage is official according to the customs. We've done the marriage duel song and dance before and I don't think anyone wants to see it play out again. Also, I feel like every high-level person should recognize the major change in combat style for this last fight and realize something is fishy. That being said, even if Myrina is the "commander", she's clearly going to pass duty to Carter. At least that's what I assume based on the story and characters so far.
jmundt33a
Okay…look. It isn’t just goofball. You set her up as having a LOONG history of running up debts, spending money she doesn’t have and charging into battles without a plan. It is one of her through lines. There are spots where you could have dropped subtle hints in other volumes, but you chose not to do so. Without at least some of them, this has no chance to work. This is a little like the Reluna problem over the last two books, but orders of magnitude worse because Myr is a long-established lead character. Which brings me to the last point. Gobgob is not an Aethersmith. She can perform repairs to damage, but she can’t totally rewire and recalibrate the armor to a new user. If she could do that, she’d be a full Aethersmith and should be much higher in the queue. As it stands, you’ve turned a celebration chapter into a potential rage quit point.
Ken Horne
I can see that, but Carter has always been clear he got into this for Cyra. He didn't care who won the final.
Darius Sanguna
Yeah sure, Myrina breaching Carter's trust and committing identity theft is "fun". Anything but a full retcon on that last duel will leave Myrina as a massive asshole that cannot be trusted with anything in the future. And Carter will have to punish her, because this isn't some harmless shenanigans anymore, as she clearly shows utter disregard for anything and anyone if it gets in the way of her inane goals, including supposed loved ones.
Kangaroo
I really like your work, I think this paragraph and ending does not sit right. Can't see her modifing the suite so she can use it. The marriage dual is not really an issue as the clan can be told the truth/ rematch. Though I can totally see her trying to steal the name doomblade lol.
Mistweaver
The duel is too clever by half. Cyra is not legitimately married to Carter (unless her clan believes Cyra is not lying when she says Carter is Doomblade). Myrina coming across as a sudden mastermind is not in character. While I do like what you tried to do with this, it just adds confusion and messes up the whole story arc. Unless the epilogue sorts this mess out, this is not a good ending.
Marvin
That was actually my intent with the character from the beginning, but perhaps I’ve done too many scenes with her being a reckless goofball to course-correct at this point. And Marina did have access to Gobgob for a whole night. She knows how the suit works.
Marvin
Mainly wanted to cover Carter for the people who didn’t like how this made Carter give the Samnhain Clan a bad look. I figured next book they could explain what really happened to just the clan, so the duel would still be valid, but the Samhain image is unblemished.
Ken Horne
I think this was a fun ending. A nice counter balance to the brooding tension with Cyra when she went all edgy. As for the marriage duel, Cyra can testify that Carter was in it. He even showed his face in the arena. Her lying would be like her throwing the marriage duel, which no one thinks she would. As for the interface, she needed basic movement, not all of Carter's tricks because she planned to use skills. Gobgob probably could hack something together for that part overnight. As for the planning, I would go with idiot-savant. She's been coddle and never had to grow up. She doesn't want responsibility, she likes her life. So she's smart enough not to look smart.
jmundt33a
You just attempted to retcon four full books in three paragraphs. Why?!🤯🤯🤬😮💨
Sin
Haha didn’t think of that but effectively yes it did.
WhiteRabbit
Myrina being a secret genius is pretty cool, but you do have some pretty big issues with he marriage duel and the armor requirements
Adam
“Oh my, Cyra! Perhaps there’s a devious merchant in you after all. Don’t share that idea with Cyra, or I’ll have to implement it.” Should the 2nd Cyra be Sakura?
jmundt33a
And Seth brought up another dimension of it. It just invalidated the marriage duel payoff. But also—-Myrina is awful as a commander. She suffers from Reepicheep Syndrome. All personal battles and no strategy. But more importantly, she can’t even operate Carter’s rig. The interface is his brain to the circuitry and servos. And it requires an Aethersmith to adjust. Myrina isn’t that and doesn’t have access to that. The opening of the chapter is fine. The arena sequence is a full teardown. And no. No one will buy Myrina as a drunk genius. That does not scan.
ArbabSB
Doesn't this invalidate Carter and Cyra's marriage duel? And after all the work Carter put in just seems lame that Myrina steals the credit at the last moment.
Wrathwind
Wasn’t it said earlier that the doomblade armor couldn’t properly be controlled without being an athersmith/possibly a good master artificer?
Seth
But... Now the Samhain clan won't acknowledge Carter and Cyra's marriage, right?
Darius Sanguna
Not a fan of this ending.
jmundt33a
That’s a disaster.
