RinoZ
patreon
Chapter 1503 - Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
🕑 Added 2024-12-05 01:00:03 +0000 UTCRetirement wasn’t exactly what Goszi had in mind. In some ways, he was living a life of luxury beyond the wildest dreams of any Krath. He didn’t have to work, he was fed without having to move his foot, his safety was guaranteed, and most of all, he was protected from the greatest danger to any member of the slug tribes; other Krath.
There were downsides, of course, he was confined to a single room and lacked stimulus. The ants had tried to provide things to entertain him, puzzles, games, had offered to bring him items so he could indulge in a hobby, a loom for weaving, wood for whittling, that sort of thing.
He’d solved the puzzles quickly and grown bored, the games were more interesting, but he lacked opponents. Most of the ants were too easy to beat (Solant was too hard), while those with more skill were too busy.
As for hobbies, he was a slug of the tribes, he didn’t even know what that was? He could wrangle a blubbeast, could extract edible meat from the pits without being crushed or eaten, could navigate the deepest, slimiest pits of the fifth, could do any of the thousand and one things a tribe needed to do in order to survive. He didn’t do any of those things for fun or entertainment! He did them to avoid getting eaten!
Now that he had what he had yearned for the last few years, Goszi found himself growing increasingly irritated, and he didn’t want to admit why, which only made him more irritated.
With a roar, Goszi launched himself from his bed and splatted into the opposite wall, trying to gnaw on the smooth wall as his eyes bulged atop their stalks.
He wanted tea! By the fifth, he wanted some damned tea! And biscuits! He would rend a thousand monsters to bits for a sweet, crunchy treat, would annihilate a dozen Krath young for the ones with little chocolatey bits in them!
“I can’t take it anymore!” he frothed, his flesh sizzling with anger.
Never in his life had he tasted something so delicious. In fact, never in his life had he tasted something that could be described as anything like delicious. In the tribes they ate Biomass which had been digested by the blubbeasts and mosses from the gardens. Goszi had never complained about it, had never heard of a single slug who had, but that was only because none of them had ever eaten something that actually tasted good!
DAMN IT! How had they known? He’d been so careful. The first time he’d eaten a biscuit his mouth had exploded with flavour. The delightful, crumbly texture, the sweet flavour. He thought he’d covered his reaction well, acting as if he were starving and in need of food. The ants were fooled. At least, he’d thought they were.
Then he drank the tea.
The aroma, the flavour, the welcome heat and smooth sensation on his tongue. It had washed away the crumbs and poured straight into his shrivelled heart.
[You appear to be having a hard time of it, Goszi. Is there something we can do to help?]
Maddened red eyes atop their stalks turned toward the window to see the adjoining room was lit, Solant watching him from within. She was reclined on one of the ‘ant chairs’ that he’d seen before, relaxed, cleaning her antennae, looking as casual as could be. He wasn’t fooled. Even with those unreadable eyes, he could read that gaze. Solant was as cold a killer as any he had seen in the tribes, colder even. She lacked the rage and fire that bubbled within every single slug. No, Solant was just cold all the way through.
He grit his teeth and tried to cool his thoughts.
[I’m just a little bored,] he grumbled. [All of these entertainments are too stale for one of my kind. Perhaps you could…] he grinned savagely, [give me some of your young. I could hunt and chase them through this room for days. I’m sure they would be delicious.]
Unruffled as always, Solant didn’t react.
[I don’t think so,] she replied. [Although, speaking of delicious.]
She clacked her mandibles, and a few more ants entered the room from beyond Goszi’s view. He watched as they set out some furniture within easy reach of the general. A small table, then a little, dainty cloth to go over it, along with some decorative squares of wood.
[What are you…] Goszi started, then trailed off.
The ants returned, with tea, AND BISCUITS.
A cup was placed atop one of the squares, then filled with tea from a larger vessel with a long spout before that too was placed on a square. Then a plate, heaped with biscuits. He could see the warmth rolling off them. It was impossible, the two rooms were far more separate than they appeared, but he swore he could smell them.
[Do you really think that will move me?] he sneered while internally he screamed with rage.
Solant appeared to thank the ants who had served her before she turned back to him.
[These are my refreshments. Why would I care how you feel about them?] she stated logically.
She used one fore-leg to grab a biscuit, then nibbled at it. Goszi’s flesh started to sizzle.
[I wonder how long until your masters become frustrated with your lack of progress?] Goszi mused, trying desperately to master himself. [I’m sure they are already angered by your incompetence.]
[Perhaps,] Solant replied placidly. [Perhaps not.]
She sipped her tea, and Goszi couldn’t help but gulp, desperate for a whiff of that complex scent.
She saw. He knew she saw.
[Did you know there is something of a secret technique when consuming tea and biscuits?] she said conversationally.
[I couldn’t care less,] Goszi gasped, eyes fixated on the small table filled with delectable treats.
[A hidden method, first revealed by the Eldest and known only to a few.]
She reached with a fore-leg once more to grasp a biscuit and lifted it slowly. Goszi’s eyes followed every move. She brought it over to the cup, held it there for a moment, then lowered it. Maddeningly slow, the biscuit went lower, and lower, before it touched the heavenly tea within, the rich biscuit soaking up the liquid like a sponge absorbing the god’s nectar.
Solant withdrew the biscuit just as slowly holding it over the cup as a few drops tantalisingly fell back into the cup. Only then did she bring it to her mouth and take a nibble.
[Would you care to try it?] she offered.
Goszi found himself pressed against the glass, teeth gnashing wildly, his eye-stalks repeatedly smashing into the hard surface.
[... Yes.]
Comments
Cursemaster
I Cinda feel bad for Goszi
Nathan Emerson
Seems fitting, though I haven't listened to the audio.
Aeseof
The audiobook performer has an English accent so...
Arlano
The famous poisoned cake. With too much sugar.
Roman
Anthony definitely has a British accent, just based off of word choice. They're all britants
TheLostGolem
This isn't the first time Solant has attempted to weaponize food. If I remember correctly, she tried to use sugar to incapacitate Anthony during a tunnel ball match? Apparently she figured out that using it as a diplomacy tool works much better.
TheLostGolem
I don't know if the colony has discovered cheese yet?
KopiCAT
As any retired detective will tell you. A kind word or gesture will get you far more cooperation then anger and threats.
DrDankness
Lol you can tell he did that involuntarily. He lost control for a moment only to realize what he was doing unconsciously and is embarassed
Nathan Quitugua
What would you do for a Klondike bar? REND AND TEAR DOZENS OF KRATH YOUNG!!!!
Nathan Quitugua
Way nicer, and plus they actually use the "spices" they are finding in other countries
Captain Nuclear
It's true.
Nathan Emerson
Just occured to me, the colony is basically the same as the british empire. Though obviously much nicer. I'm beginning to read the ants as speaking with a slight british accent.
alt31415
I love the image of him banging his eyestalks on the glass while Solant's just like, "So, would you like one?"
mly85lc
Oh though new wepon. A ant crack team retreating form scouting mission. Krats hot on pursuit. Only be stopped by puddle off blue mana holding a new wepon: "desert plaits"
mly85lc
Soo.. too colony make cheese to go with tea? As hospitality For two legs.. oh and croissants, perhaps some cake as desert?
DrDankness
Lol i wonder if they will ever figure out how to purify the slugs.
DrDankness
Kek. Called it. For a slug of the 5th kindness was always gonna be alien to them. The fact that the food is what gets him is hilarious. He’s downright ravenous now. And the fact that its solant slowly nibbling away at his sanity only makes it more funny.
ZaneofBane
The Kraths' weakness... Kindness and good food 🤣
Gopard
Thanks for the chapter!
Brudog2
I would sit in disbelief if that happened lol
Brudog2
Same I read this first to prepare myself lol
Brudog2
I can’t wait for that just imagining the commander’s response makes me laugh 🤣
Sebin Paul
This was amazing, thank you 😂😂
Anthony Romanov
For the Tea and Biscuits!!!
BelligerentGnu
This is hilarious and far closer to actual successful interrogation techniques than Hollywood ever implies. There's a famous case of a prisoner who was convinced to share Intel with a set of Harry Potter novels.
gabriel vieira
If theyre used to nothing but awful pain then give them something to treasure😭😭😭😭
Shimelton
Yes!
alt31415
Ah, the sweet touch of something actually pleasant after a life time of... the fifth.
George Parremore
Next the Tim Tam slam
Kiongku
Hook set! Yank it hard Solant.
Buck
The mighty Krath conquered by tea and biscuits! Love it!
Ether's Blessed One
Muwahhaaha Gwehehehe, Solant has My dark Mind, Good Anthony. My power course through the Colony, You can't deny me anymore. Muwahaha. Seriously, how will the Legion Commander's face be like when their worst enemy ever has broken down by teas and biscuits.
CentaureHeart
Just. As. Planned.
Hayden Leech
But what a twist that would make. Chap 1503 Story ends out of nowhere.
Gabus Deux
....yes
Zizawah
Thank you!
Hunter Parish
Ha
Hayden Leech
Giggle. I love how ridiculous this all is. Anyway over to book of the dead where I’m sure only desolate horror awaits me.
Grey Knight Lord
I knew the Tea and Biscuits were going to be the key. Now give us your secrets Gozi.
KooZnack
Oh my goodness he is such an adorable little grandpa murder slug. I love him 🥺
Brian Schwab
Omg I saw the B4C70 - Authority Dies next to the notification for a new Chrysalis chapter and for a second thought I read the chapter as Anthony dies. That was not good for my heart. I can’t be the only one am I?
