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Chapter 499 Briefing

🕑 Added 2020-06-16 11:28:01 +0000 UTC

Comments

Venalitor

How did Helena not give a bad impression with how she acted? Ah, right Ilea's a whipped slavering bitch when it comes to food.

Nate

Illea probably should have kept her mouth shut about Felicia, but it's not out of character for her to misstep in political maneuverings.... It's no surprise that she likes the Lily members she's met, as they brought out all the ones that like to fight, curious if she'll still like them after she gets to know everything else they're up to...

PatronTurtle

Ilea would absolutely just skip over the gold of their family. She doesn't care that much and moved on since it would take effort to get it. As for Fel's growth, I definitely don't agree. The whole bubbly dumb child in the Taleen Dungeon was clearly a mask. Even while there it was present through her PoV sections. This shift in personality is her moving on and up since pretending to be an airhead will only hurt her at this point. This is excellent character writing in my opinion. As for Maria, she's always been the most bloodthirsty character of Edwin & co. She wanted to kill some people to discovering her being invisible and her interactions with Ilea were full on psychotic. They're expected from what she had to go through, but definitely not surprising

lenkite

All the "noble" family monologue was very weird. And Ilya's internal thoughts about the Lily make little sense. Thankfully next chapter is much better.

fbt

at that pt she didn't know Ilea was there, right? that bit seemed a little confused (or confusing) to me. If old friend refered to MC how'd she know, if it was General, it was the same side of the coin as the other option. Idk, will reread it...

David

It's Ilea she really might have forgotten.

Tim

Love Felicia's interior monologue at the start. Choosing loyalty to Ilea without knowing, that she would literally be in the group sent by the Lily. Hahaha great stuff

Tim

Not sure how often you read these comments Mr Harthane, but I have a few constructive criticisms for you. 'The status of their Houses was like day and night' I always find 'like day and night' to be lazy writing, just a cliched way of saying they're very different. Very overused on RoyalRoad. These others are further back mostly, and perhaps worth addressing if you ever make these into books. I think you describe almost every city she ever sees as 'reminding her of Salia', why don't cities ever remind her of other cities? Seems like you fall back into this description a lot, I think we've only seen maybe 1 city since Salia which didn't remind her of it. The characters of Felicia and Aliana seemed to change a lot since the Dawntree dungeon. Especially Felicia. While Aliana was portrayed as the cruel one, her role being later usurped by Maria, we don't see a lot of her so doesn't matter so much. However, in the case of Felicia, she's like this little kid in her whole manner of being in the beginning, and really comes across as quite dumb(though more world in this world than Ilea in many ways). I understand her needing to grow up to run a house, and perhaps she changes through the catharsis of killing her father, but this seems more like you forgot who you wrote her as initially, or just totally ret-conned her character. Lastly, I think this is maybe the most annoying one to me. When Edwin was discussing his vendetta campaign against his father with Ilea and Kyrian in Trian's hideout, Ileas condition is 'The gold is ours. All of it.' And Edwin agrees that literally every penny owned by him, and from his fathers family will go to those 2. It didn't come across as a joke at the time, and Ilea never took it back directly(I would understand her deciding not to take it, especially since Fel is taking over, but it should've at least come up again). But this was literally never, ever, mentioned again, it was really quite annoying. Like you forgot you even wrote it in, in the first place. Anyway, that's all my gripes out of the way. You've created a great story here. It's currently my most eagerly anticipated weekly read, along with Delve. You keep up a blistering pace in your writing, so I can understand you making a few continuity errors along the way. Please keep up the good work sir.

Thanks for the chapter!

Joshua Little

Thanks for the chapter.

Mid-afternoon here ^^

Michael scott

Thanks for the chapter. Couldn't give us the general level hugh.

The other DB

Thanks for the chapter. Why didn't Ilea check Ryse's class and level or Felicia?

Sebastian Prue

I knew staying up all night would pay off


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