Lord-Campione
patreon
Chapter no.46: Love or A Check Box part: 2
🕑 Added 2024-11-16 15:36:37 +0000 UTC“Miku,” Kozen murmured between soft, lingering kisses. “I—“ Another kiss, deeper this time. “I need you—“ Kiss. “So—“ Kiss. “Much.”
She sighed, letting herself sink into his warmth, but then grinned and playfully shoved him off, so he rolled onto his back. Before he could react, she climbed into his lap, pressing herself close as he leaned back against the headboard. She felt like she couldn’t get close enough, like there was something in him she wanted to hold onto tightly, to understand completely. Her eyes were trusting, soft, filled with a spark of love that made her entire face glow.
“I love you too, Kozen,” she whispered, her voice sending goosebumps across his skin. “I love you more than the stars in the sky. More than… more than Lord of the Rings and the color pink. More than anything.”
He felt his heart quicken, a smug satisfaction growing as he watched the vulnerability in her eyes, the way she looked at him like he was her entire world. He allowed himself a slow, charmed smile.
“Is this supposed to be a competition?” he teased, brushing a thumb over her cheek. He kept his voice warm, his tone playful, so she wouldn’t see the slight calculation in his gaze. “Because if it is, you know I’ll win. No one can love you more than I do, Miku.”
He held her face gently, his hands framing her cheeks, making her focus entirely on him. His gaze softened, his voice turning almost reverent. “You’re… everything to me,” he whispered, his tone intense enough to make her heart skip a beat. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
She sighed, leaning into his touch, letting his words wrap around her like a comforting blanket. To her, he was baring his soul. She didn’t see the careful way he chose his words, how he subtly reinforced her attachment to him with every promise, every whisper.
“You’re so easy to love, Miku,” he murmured, stroking her cheek. “I don’t think you understand how much power you have over me.”
Her cheeks flushed, and she bit her lip, leaning in as if to hide her smile against his shoulder. “I feel the same way,” she whispered, her voice muffled. “Sometimes it scares me, how much I need you.”
Kozen’s eyes flashed, but he kept his expression gentle, his tone soothing. “Then don’t be scared. I’m not going anywhere, alright? You don’t need to worry about anyone else, or anything else. Just… trust me.”
He leaned forward, catching her lips in another slow, lingering kiss, one that seemed to seal his words.
Their eyes met again and he tugged at the straps of her gown, letting them slide down her shoulders and then pushing until the fabric fell off her upper body and bunched around her waist. His eyes went down and he nearly choked.
She wasn’t wearing a bra. How had he not noticed earlier?
A content groan left him as he gazed at her breasts, her skin warm as his hand slid up and cupped one, squeezing lightly. She gasped, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. He had definitely seen boobs before but something about this felt different, like it was less of a show and more of an offering. He loved them, to touch them, taste them, feel them, and she knew it, leaning into his touch and whimpering in his ear to encourage him.
His hands gripped her sides and she stood up on her knees so the soft mounds were eye-level to him, her hands grabbing his hair and pulling him to her chest. He dove in without hesitation, kissing each nipple and then nibbling, feeling them harden before lapping at them with his tongue. She shivered and whimpered and he squeezed the left one, flicking it lightly, while sucking on the right one. Her hands gripped him harder and she whimpered, feeling her arousal pooling in her underwear.
She pushed him and he fell back onto the bed, watching as she set her hands on his chest and then ground herself against him, eyebrows furrowing at how good it felt. The sight of her—dress around her hips, chest bare, eyes closed in ecstasy—as she took control and took her pleasure from him made him harder. He grabbed her hips, helping to move her, and they rubbed against each other furiously, his hips bucking up into her, her breasts swaying as she moved.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he gasped between groans. “I want you so fucking bad.”
She slowed and her eyes opened, looking down at him, full of want and need and everything he felt pulsing out of his chest.
Her mouth opened against his and he deepened the kiss, tongues wrestling, the fire that had dimmed down roaring back to life as heat swept through his body. Specifically low in his body.
“Miku,” he groaned, eyes closing as she grinded against him again. It was too much to bear and he flipped them, throwing her down and crawling over her, scooting both of them up the bed. Her head rested on her pillow, her hair fanning out around her like a messy halo, face flushed, eyes wide as she looked up at him.
“Now, Kozen. I’m ready,” she begged, her hands sliding down his front.
He reached for his pants and she helped, both of them unbuttoning and unzipping and pushing them down his legs until they were on the floor with the rest of their clothes. Her dress was next, and she lifted her arms and let him pull it over her head, the fabric landing on the growing pile. They were left in their underwear and he started to reach for her panties before stopping, glancing at her, suddenly panicking.
“El, I don’t have a condom,” he gulped.
“Oh, wait a second. I do.”
She sat up nonchalantly and reached for the drawer in her bedside table, pushing a few books aside to reveal a scattered assortment of condoms. His eyebrows flew up and as she grabbed a random one he sputtered, “Oh, right love hotel—“
Miku laughed at him, setting the condom on the bed next to her and bringing him down to kiss her, arching up and rubbing herself against him, wanting him to look at her with the fire in his eyes, like he had minutes before. The thin fabric of their underwear allowed him to feel more and he groaned, falling onto her and pressing his face into the crook of her neck, rolling his hips against her automatically. His erection pressed against her thigh and she wrapped her legs around him and threw her head back, bucking against him greedily, wanting to feel just how much he wanted her.
They rolled around and pressed against each other, taking their time, but soon it was too much and the fire in her belly traveled lower, the ache of emptiness becoming unbearable. She was soaking, her panties drenched, and she gasped, next to his ear.
“Kozen, babe, now please,” she tried to push him off. “I’m ready, I promise.”
His only answer was a groan but he let her move him off of her, his skin missing the feel of hers the second he pulled away. His own underwear was damp, partly from rubbing against hers and partly because he was leaking too. If she was ready, so was he.
Their underwear came off slowly, both suddenly shy, but as the thin cotton garments fell to the ground they reached a new level of intimacy, taking in each other’s nakedness with hungry eyes. Kozen felt a tinge of self-consciousness as she stared down at his erection, shifting a bit. She hadn’t seen it out in the open in a brightly lit room. When she opened her mouth, what came out was the last thing he’d been expecting.
“That’s… that fits?”
He couldn’t hold in a snort of laughter. “Jeez, I don’t know. I haven’t done this before.”
“But it’s huge,” she almost looked worried.
He felt a glow of pride fill his chest but ignored it to reach up and cup her face in his hand, giving her a soft kiss that was sort of a thank you and hearing that she thought he was “huge” was definitely a nice bump up for his ego.
“We don’t have to if you’re scared—“
“I’m not scared,” her eyes flashed. “I just don’t want… they say it hurts sometimes. But I—“
“I heard that too. I don’t want to hurt you,” he tried to sit back but she didn’t let him.
He kissed her forehead as he reached for the condom, carefully tearing it open and then staring at it for a second and picturing the banana they’d been shown so helpfully in the Sex Ed class. There was a bit of fumbling but he managed to roll it on as she watched, hands outstretched, like she was ready to help if he needed.
After that was taken care of he fell back onto her, wanting to be close, wanting to feel every inch of her skin, her lips kissing his jaw and neck as their hips met. There was a unified groan and he couldn’t help it, grinding against her one more time and feeling utter bliss.
“Kozen,” she breathed, an endearment and a plea in one word. “Kozen.”
Her back arched and she pulled him down by his neck to kiss her. It was heated, passionate, and he finally gave in, reaching down to give her what she wanted. His only hesitation was the thought of her in pain, but she seemed to accept whatever would come and he kissed down her neck to her sternum, nose pressed against her skin.
“You’re so beautiful. You’re always beautiful. But right now…” he pushed up off of her and stared down at her, trying to memorize how she looked lying beneath him. “I don’t ever want to forget this.”
“Then don’t,” she squirmed, getting desperate, the fire a blaze in between her legs. “But hurry up!”
He spread her legs further, pushing her thighs to the side, and then reached down to line himself up. Her hand covered his and he glanced up, their eyes meeting. She nodded face sure and calm, and together they pushed him in.
Kozen choked.
He slid in easier than he had anticipated, her drenched heat making it easy, and the feeling was utter euphoria. She was so tight, her walls squeezing, and he tried to choke the shout that filled his throat, letting out a gurgled groan instead. There was a gasp from below him and he opened his eyes to look at her, wanting to make sure she was okay. Her eyes were squeezed shut and he slowed, remembering what she had requested, trying to be gentle.
Her eyes flew open, filled with outrage.
“Don’t stop,” she whined.
She wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him all the way inside of her.
“Fuck!” he grunted. “Holy fucking shit!”
“K-kozen, oh god,” she panted, her head thrown back.
They were frozen together, clinging to one another as they joined for the first time. He wasn’t sure what he had expected but he knew this was so much fucking better than anything he could have imagined. She was like electricity and light, blazing through him and squeezing him tightly, twitching around him slightly as he shifted.
“Holy shit, you’re so amazing,” he panted.
“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” she begged, too focused on the feeling to appreciate his words.
He moved, shifting back and then forward, his head dropping against her chest as she cried out for him, begging and pleading for him to “go faster” and “never stop”. Trying to find a rhythm seemed impossible and he shuffled his hips, figuring it out and thrusting into her at a medium-fast pace, his face still pressed against her throat as he panted.
Miku felt full, like she’d been missing a piece of herself and now it was there as he pushed into her over and over. There had been a bit of a burn and a lot of pressure, but it had quickly turned into something much much better and now all she wanted was more.
“Y-You’re so b-big, it feels so g-good,” she babbled, lost in the feeling, voice stuttering. “You f-feel so good inside of me, Kozen. It’s so fucking good.”
Kozen reached for her clit, pumping in shallowly and quickly while rubbing the nerve-filled nub. She jolted, her hands clenching his biceps, nails digging in as she moaned. She moaned. Out loud. Just for him.
“I love you, fuck, I love you,” he chanted, breath warm on her neck as he started to speed up and go deeper. “Miku, fucking shit, I love you.”
“M-Muh—“ her voice gasped at each thrust, making it hard to speak. “I luh-love—“ she moaned again but managed to finish her sentence. “—you t-too.”
He was struggling to believe it was all real, that she was there beneath him, telling him she loved him and bucking her hips to meet him as he pounded into her. It was too perfect, too insanely good to be happening, but as her cries pitched higher and her nails dug into his back he decided he couldn’t be dreaming.
Her body jolted with each thrust, her breasts bouncing from how hard he was fucking her. It was getting more desperate, the sweetness fading into passion that made him want to close his eyes and lose all control.
“F-Faster!” she begged, eyebrows peaked together.
He had pulled back to look down at her but at her plea he tucked his face back into her neck, focusing on moving his hips and not finishing before she had reached her peak. It was going to happen—even if he had to stop every five minutes to calm himself down and then keep going. He didn’t think he’d need to, but he was willing to… for her.
“Please, I’m—ah! I-I’m—“ Miku choked on her words, moaning loudly again instead.
She could feel something building, something more intense than when he fingered her, something that made her clench her teeth and beg for him to go “harder, harder, harder!”, her voice pitching higher at each thrust.
Releasing her grip on his hips, she tightened her grip on him, her legs falling open loosely as she started to come undone, a scream leaving her throat. He was leaning on one elbow, to keep the bulk of his weight off of her, but his other arm went down and he snagged her thigh, tucking his hand under the back of her knee and wedging her leg up against her body. Her hips tilted and he shifted too, listening as she cried out, hands scrabbling against his shoulders.
“Oh my god!” she shrieked, eyes widening. “ Oh my god, oh my god, please, babe, Kozen,Kozen,KOZEN!”
It was the only thing she could manage as her toes curled and he pounded her, the rhythm punishingly hard like she had wanted, pushing her farther to the edge.
He thrusted even faster, the room filling with the sounds of her cries and his groans and the slap of their skin, theirs hip crashing together. The bed was shaking and creaked as it jolted, the wooden floor protesting and there were so many sounds but all he could focus on was the sound of her saying his name.
“C’mon, Miku, come on,” he urged her. “I c-can’t—“
He cut himself off, pressing his face against her chest, his teeth finding the soft flesh on the curve of her breast and biting down in a desperate attempt to keep from cumming right then and there. The shock of pain was what she needed to fall over and he felt her tense, her muscles clamping around him.
She screamed, her throat raw, but she needed to cry out to the one thing that filled her senses and her mind and her body all at once. The only person in her world.
“Kozen!”
There was no holding back and his hips slapped against her twice more and then he was shoving himself into her as far as he could go, bottoming out inside of her, his balls twitching as he came so hard his vision whited out.
“Miku,” he growled, eyes clamping shut, his breath shuddering out of him. “Fuck!”
She was still squeezing him, her orgasm blazing through her with an intensity that made her dig her fingernails into his back and curl her toes and roll her eyes back in her head. His face was still shoved against her neck and he kissed her collarbones, trying to be gentle, knowing he’d got a little carried away.
Her body unclenched and he marveled at how she felt, how her walls twitched and fluttered around him even though her orgasm had ended. Pushing up onto his hands, he looked down at her, frowning as he realized he’d left a sore, red mark that would turn into a nasty bruise, right on her cleavage.
Oops.
Miku was panting as she tried to get the oxygen he’d sucked out of her back into her lungs, her mind slowly reforming from the mush he’d turned her into. Everything felt tingly and warm and she smiled at nothing, feeling ridiculously content, like a kitten curled up in a sunbeam. He kissed the mark on her chest and she winced, the spot too sore to be touched, even by soft, gentle lips.
He pulled back, looking distraught despite the fact that they’d just made love.
“S-Sorry,” he was stricken. “I didn’t—“
“Don’t,” she gasped for air still, but didn’t want him to feel bad about anything that had just happened. “Don’t apologize. You don’t need to.”
“But I—“
“Shhh, Kozen. It’s okay, I hurt you too,” she looked sheepish as she pulled her hands back.
It was then he felt the sting across his shoulders, and she showed him her fingernails that were tinged red.
“No, I don’t ever want to hurt you,” he worried.
“It was an accident. We’re even. But um… sorry.”
“Nope. No apologizing. Not after that,” he teased, echoing her earlier sentiment.
The endorphin rush hit and he grinned, forgetting his burning shoulders and kissing her forehead and cheeks and nose and eyelids and every single part of her he could reach, making her giggle. She caught him by the lips and kissed him so sweetly he sighed against her mouth.
Their fiery blaze of passion cooled into a gentle rain, warm and soothing, washing over them and dousing the fire into a bed of coals that glowed in their chests.
It hadn’t been perfect. Not even close. They’d fumbled and worried and messed up, but he couldn’t imagine it being anything more… it had been perfect for them.
“Um, I’m gonna…” he flushed, pulling out of her and then sliding the condom off and letting it fall to the floor. She seemed amused but unconcerned by the mess, pulling him back down to her and wrapping her arms around his neck, holding him close to her and sighing, eyes closed.
He fell into the embrace, wiggling happily and letting her hold him, smelling her skin and kissing her neck softly, small notes of gratitude.
“I love you,” she whispered softly, as if she could hear the doubts echoing in his mind. “I loved you before but I think I love you even more now.”
Her hands played with his hair, lifting the locks and stroking them gently, making goosebumps shiver down his spine. It was all so intimate.
She nodded, still smothering giggles and sat up, motioning for him to do the same. They pushed back the covers and then dived in, cuddling back into each other, Kozen spooning her tightly. It was the best thing ever, feeling her warm skin against him, the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.
The exhaustion was starting to creep in, the rush of adrenaline dying as they snuggled together under the warm blankets. Her hand covered his, the one that was wrapped around her waist, and she sighed contently as he intertwined their fingers.
“I love you,” she reminded him. “I love you and I love having sex with you.”
“I love you too,” he stifled a laugh at her honesty.
Kozen lay in the darkened room, staring at the ceiling while Miku slept soundly beside him, her head resting against his shoulder, her breathing soft and steady. He could feel her hand on his chest, warm and trusting, like he was her safe place. It was almost laughable. She barely knew him, really—he’d made sure of that. And yet, she had given herself to him without hesitation, looking at him like he was the center of her universe.
She’s nothing more than a checkbox, he reminded himself, tightening his jaw as he tried to keep his thoughts focused. You wanted to get this done before everything went to hell, and now it’s done. Mission accomplished.
He glanced down at Miku, sleeping peacefully, curled into him with her arm draped over his chest like he was hers to hold. She’d made it easy, falling for his carefully chosen words, trusting his gentle touches, his soft promises. She’d wanted to feel loved, to be close to someone, and he’d given her exactly that—enough to keep her invested, enough to keep her by his side.
But now that he’d gotten what he wanted, he couldn’t shake the strange feeling gnawing at him. You’re done here, Kozen. You don’t owe her anything. He repeated it to himself, willing himself to feel the cold detachment that usually came so easily to him. She was a temporary fixture, someone who’d be left behind once the world started falling apart. He’d known that from the start. She was soft, innocent—a person who wouldn’t last a day in the kind of world he was preparing for.
And yet… something in him resisted. Every time he tried to think of her as just a box checked off his list, he felt that uncomfortable tug in his chest, that unsettling warmth that didn’t fit the script he’d crafted. It was like some primal instinct, some deeply rooted impulse, didn’t want to let her go.
Get a grip, he told himself, his jaw tightening. She’s just a girl. This isn’t supposed to mean anything.
But the words felt hollow, unconvincing. Against his better judgment, he found his hand drifting, brushing a strand of hair from her face, his thumb lingering on her cheek. She looked so peaceful, so vulnerable. A strange, possessive urge flared up in him, the irrational need to protect her, to keep her safe even when everything else went to hell.
Why? He wondered, feeling his pulse quicken. Why do I care? She’s not part of the plan. She’s not meant to be.
And yet, the thought of leaving her behind, of abandoning her to the chaos he knew was coming… it made his chest tighten in a way he hadn’t anticipated. He’d wanted this to be simple, transactional—a way to experience something before it no longer mattered. But now, lying here with her in his arms, he felt something that scared him more than he’d like to admit.
Maybe it was just biology, he told himself. Some deep-rooted evolutionary instinct to protect the person he’d been close to, to see her as his because of what they’d shared. This is just your brain messing with you, he thought. It doesn’t mean anything. She doesn’t mean anything.
But even as he tried to convince himself, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she did. That there was a part of him that didn’t want to let her go.
For god’s sake, Kozen, stop it, he scolded himself, fighting to push down the growing attachment. You’re not supposed to care. This was just… just a checkbox.
But then she stirred, shifting closer to him, her fingers curling slightly against his chest in her sleep. Without thinking, his arm wrapped around her, pulling her close, as if his body were acting on instinct alone. He felt a pang in his chest, an irrational, gnawing need to protect her, to keep her safe from what was coming.
He lay there, his thoughts tangled, his resolve slipping as he held her close. He didn’t know what he’d do when the time came, whether he’d leave her behind or keep her by his side. All he knew was that, in this moment, he couldn’t bring himself to let go.
And that terrified him.
