Mist of Shadows
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Copy Protection Void Part 29
🕑 Added 2024-10-19 07:00:54 +0000 UTCMist looked up from Bran's map of the Two Rivers when Samara rushed into the Winespring's reading room. "What's the matter?" he asked when he noticed that she was white as a sheet.
"I had a vision, half of the forsaken are coming in an hour to wreck the village and Lanfear is already in the village," Samara blurted out.
"Did you see a solution or do I have to come up with something? Do you know which members of the forsaken are showing up?" Mist asked, trying to get a better idea of what they were dealing with.
"Rahvin, Asmodean, Be'lal, Mesaana and Moghedien will be in the forest trying to hide, we're going to need Twist and both Egwene's if we want to pull things off without anyone getting killed," Samara told him.
"Twist," Mist called out, causing Twist to appear out of thin air with a popping noise. "I need you to collect Egwene and her clone, we've got incoming and extremely dangerous problems and not a lot of time."
"Understood," Twist replied and vanished with a pop to collect Egwene and her clone.
"So, north or south road or the old road?" Mist asked, trying to get a better idea how the forsaken were approaching things so they could ambush them. 'We have a bit less than an hour, that should be enough time for Egwene to jump to the other worlds and grab the defensive ter'angreal from the kin.'
"North, we're going to need at least five minutes to get there and we'll have to be quiet or Lanfear will notice and kill a bunch of people," Samara warned him.
"I'll talk to Lan about a practice duel, that should make sure she's distracted," Mist suggested, figuring that would be the perfect way to keep Lanfear distracted until the rest of the forsaken were dead.
"Makes sense," Samara agreed, feeling slightly better about their chances now that she was thinking about things rather than reacting.
Twist reappeared with Egwene and Egwene's clone.
Egwene glanced between Mist and Samara. "What's going on?"
"The forsaken are showing up, we have half an hour to plan and maybe ten minutes to set everything up," Mist warned them then headed for the door to grab Lan and Mat, wanting to make sure they had a backup plan if their first idea didn't work.
0o0o0
"This is a joke," Rahvin muttered as they walked down the dirt road toward the pathetically small village, not sure why the Great Lord wanted it destroyed immediately except that it was a priority and that in-fighting was suspended until it was dealt with.
"You wouldn't be saying that if you could feel the amount of saidar they're channeling," Mesaana complained as she stared at the large tent in the distance where she could feel dozens of women channeling, half tempted to just sweep a line of balefire across the town and be done with it despite her desire to 'recruit' the local talent.
"That's probably why Moghedien never showed up, she's a coward," Be'lal complained, a touch surprised that she'd ignored a direct command from their master.
"Like you're any…" Asmodean trailed off when he glanced back at where Rahvin should be and found his fellow chosen sprawled on the ground unconscious or dead. "Shit!" he cursed when a shield cut him off from the source at the same time as Be'lal's head exploded.
Twist hit Mesaana in the back with a stunner then did the same with Asmodean, wanting to make sure they weren't getting back up any time soon. "Twist thinks they need to work on their situational awareness."
"Arrogant they were, think nothing could touch them, they did," Mist replied, doing his best Yoda impression.
"Did you hit your head?" Twist asked, not sure why her master was being strange.
"No, I'm just being weird," Mist replied as he turned his ring's invisibility off and walked over to where the forsaken were sprawled on the ground, wondering if he should clone some of the strippers he could summon so he had someone around that understood modern culture. He twitched when a beam of blinding light burst from the treeline and struck him in the chest, immediately unraveling thanks to his defensive ter'angreal.
Moghedien turned and bolted when the man she'd hit with balefire didn't vanish like he was supposed to, realizing that she'd been baited into making the attack. She wasn't surprised when a shield cut through her connection to the source before she could weave a gateway but she was certainly annoyed.
Twist teleported behind the woman wearing a black dress that wasn't suited to running around the forest and hit her in the back with a stunner, dropping her unconscious. She levitated the woman and walked back to the trail where Mist was poking the still living forsaken.
"That should be all of them," Egwene said as she dropped her illusions that concealed her presence and walked out of the forest.
Egwene's clone walked out of the forest on the other side of the road. "It worked better than I was expecting."
"Just because it worked, doesn't mean it wasn't a bad plan," Twist complained as she dropped Moghedien next to Rahvin and Mesaana, not particularly happy with her master using himself as bait to catch Moghedien.
"Moghedien would have slipped away if someone hadn't presented a tempting target," Mist replied as he pulled the cursed collar out of his bag and put it on Moghedien, wanting to keep the dreamer from causing problems on the off chance that she could reach the world of dreams while unconscious rather than sleeping. "Huh, I was sort of expecting that to wake her up."
"They'll be out for at least an hour unless someone uses a counterspell," Twist assured him, sounding just a little bit smug.
"That makes it easier," Mist mused as he conjured a cursed belt and stuck it on Asmodean, causing the belt to emit a strange warbling noise as it transformed the middle aged man with shoulder length black hair into an attractive woman before disintegrating. "Sorry, not sorry," he muttered as he took the collar off Moghedien and stuck it on Asmodean.
"Are you going to kill them or should I hit them with balefire?" Egwene asked, unhappy with using balefire but wanting to make sure the Dark One couldn't bring them back.
"I'll deal with it, I borrowed the soul eating sword," Mist replied as he conjured another cursed belt and stuck it on Rahvin, producing the sound of a whoopie cushion being sat on and causing the large man to turn into an attractive and exceptionally tall woman.
Egwene's clone glanced toward the tents where she knew she'd find Lanfear thanks to her dream. "Do you want me to deal with Lanfear?"
"Twist will deal with scary lady," Twist told them then vanished with a pop.
Mist finished using the cursed collar on the rest of the forsaken and grabbing patterns so he'd have a collection of decently sane teachers then cut their heads off with Rand's soul eating sword. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," he offered as he used his eternal dark flames ability to reduce the corpses to ash.
"That sword is worse than balefire," Egwene complained, more than a little uncomfortable about a blade that destroyed souls.
"Probably," Mist agreed, not sure how he was supposed to feel about permanently destroying the souls of people that made the worst monsters from his world look like rank amateurs, if only because he was reasonably sure the pattern would pull someone else into their roles if he wasn't able to destroy the Dark One and shatter the cycle.
Twist reappeared with an unconscious Lanfear then dropped her on the ground. "Your distraction worked."
"That's what happens when you're obsessed, you're more concerned about your personal shit than the mission," Mist replied as he put the collar on Lanfear, making sure to touch her neck before and after he put the collar on her so he could get the patterns. 'She's certainly stunning but I've seen better, then again, how much makeup did the stars need to pull off a win?'
"You can't trust her," Egwene's clone stated when Mist seemed to be hesitating to kill her.
"I'm aware," Mist assured her as he looted the angreal ring Lanfear was wearing and took the collar off, "she's obsessed with power and Lews Therin, eventually she'd try to kill Min and Elayne. I was just trying to figure out if it was worth offering a deal so we could kill the rest of the forsaken."
Egwene wove a shield around the forsaken on the off chance that she woke up and tried to kill them. "She'd lie or she'd try to play the long game so she could corrupt Rand."
"Yeah," Mist muttered as he stabbed Lanfear in the heart with the soul eating sword, causing her to wake up screaming in agony for a couple of seconds before she fell silent. 'Ashes to ashes, Mierin, rest in peace or pieces,' he offered as he used his dark fire to reduce her corpse to ash.
"That just leaves Demandred, Graendal, Sammael and Semirhage," Egwene mused, wondering if it was worth trying to track the rest of them down immediately or jump to cleansing the source and hope that no one showed up.
Mist tried to ignore the feeling of being watched that her reminder had caused. "Sammael should be in Illian, Graendal is in a keep in Arad Doman, Demandred is most likely running around Shara-" he stumbled back when an arrow bounced off the 'armor' his bracelet provided.
Egwene's clone used a cable thick thread of air to cave in Slayer's skull when she caught sight of the man that looked like Lan, recognizing him from the world of dreams in the other timeline.
Mist sprinted over and stabbed the unconscious and dying man in the chest with the soul eating sword. "Slayer or Demandred?"
"Slayer," Egwene's clone replied. "I would have just shielded Demandred and chained him up."
"Figured I'd check," Mist replied as he opened his clothing menu. "Huh, I picked up the ability to conjure a Naked Chef apron."
"Naked Chef apron?" Egwene asked warily.
"Wearing the apron automatically cleans your hands. Wearing it while preparing food and otherwise naked doubles any benefits of the food you're preparing and decreases any negative qualities the meal would otherwise have by half. It also unlocks a food related crafting menu and system that allows the cook to create wondrous and or cursed meals if you make something while wearing it," Mist explained, looking forward to testing it out.
"Why are most of your gifts perverted or twisted?" Egwene asked.
"No clue," Mist replied as he checked the description of the t-shirt he could conjure. 'What Happens at Band Camp, Stays at Band Camp? Wearing this twisted t-shirt allows you to increase your musical talents and skill by murdering fellow musicians. As long as at least one aspect of their talent or skill was better than your own, you'll improve? That gives a whole new meaning to a battle of the bands.'
"What else did you get?" Egwene's clone asked.
"A shirt that lets you increase your musical ability by killing other musicians," Mist replied as he checked the description of the black college graduation cap that he could conjure.
"Asmodean?" Egwene mused.
"Probably," Mist agreed. "I also picked up a hat that lets the person wearing it hand out perverted quests to their students that probably came from Mesaana. I'm guessing the spider silk shirt probably came from Moghedien as it makes you immune to poison and decreases the chances of people believing any misinformation people are spreading about you if the information would cast you in a negative light."
"I'm going to want a copy and we should probably give Rand a copy," Egwene clone suggested, figuring it would help keep his reputation more positive this time around.
"Did you get anything from Lanfear or Rahvin?" Egwene asked.
"Yeah," Mist replied as he conjured a black t-shirt with the phrase, "Kneecaps are a Privilege!" printed on it in white letters. "Every time you destroy a rapist's kneecaps, your defenses against compulsion and magical bindings permanently increases by one percent."
Egwene shook her head. "We're not going to be able to find enough rapists to make everyone immune to compulsion."
"Do you think regeneration would let us use the same rapist multiple times?" Egwene's clone asked thoughtfully.
"It's worth a try," Mist agreed, not seeing a problem with running some tests. "We don't have to give everyone immunity, we just have to give enough people immunity that the dragon crown can spread it," he pointed out as he skimmed the description of the new belt he could conjure.
"You just want another excuse to watch us have sex," Egwene clone teased.
"Nah, that's just a bonus," Mist replied as he conjured two copies of the new belt and handed them to Egwene and her clone. He glanced at Twist. "If you make the clothes, is someone allowed to enchant them?"
"Yes," Twist assured him.
"That makes it easier," Mist replied as he used the self repair 'token' on his boots option, figuring that was the most likely piece of gear to need it. "The belt comes with ten inventory slots and hides the wearer's ability to channel while worn, you just have to touch the belt and think about what you want to grab or stash."
Egwene smiled as she realized she had a convenient way to carry things she wanted to keep hidden, like the sa'angreal staff that she still needed to return. "I'm going to want some expanded bags when you get your enchanting skill working."
"It's on the list," Mist assured her as he closed his clothing menu and opened his gift menu, curious if he'd gotten anything useful for killing them. "Huh, elixir of constitution, that should let you get started boosting your eidolon with the poison pit."
"Is the elixir permanent or temporary?" Egwene's clone asked as she put the belt on.
"Temporary, it only lasts an hour but that should be more than enough time to win a couple of fights," Mist replied as he handed the elixir to Egwene's clone.
"Thank you," Egwene's clone replied and conjured her eidolon, causing an attractive and busty naked girl to appear in front of her. "We found a solution to your lack of stamina, are you ready to kill a bunch of monsters so you can get stronger?"
"Yes!" the eidolon squealed.
'At least the bunny ears transformation stuck around,' Mist mused as he studied the girl with crimson colored hair that went down to her butt, finding her appearance a massive improvement over her previous form that looked like it had been stitched together by Frankenstein's idiot cousin. "We should probably move a bit further away from the town before we start grabbing trollocs and darkfriends to sacrifice to the poison pit."
"How close are you to having enough mana to cast the enchanting spell?" Egwene asked.
"Maybe another thousand shadowspawn," Mist replied as he conjured a loincloth, wishing he had an interface that would actually tell him how much mana he had. He conjured a pair of boots and a copy of the halter top and handed everything to Egwene's eidolon. "The loincloth should let you get mana for killing monsters, the boots will let you move faster and the halter top should increase your ability to jump and decrease your falling damage."
"Sounds good," the eidolon replied with a smile as she started getting dressed, looking forward to being able to take a hit and move around without getting extremely tired.
"I'll see what I can find, can she borrow your wand?" Egwene asked Mist.
"Sure," Mist agreed as he pulled his wand out of his bracelet and handed it to the clone's Eidolon, glad that it wasn't eating people's mana anymore. "We should probably head for the mountains and let her practice a bit before we start tossing her into the arena."
"I'd hate to get there and realize that I can't use the wand," the Eidolon admitted.
Egwene used mana to open a gateway, placing the other end near the Manetheren waygate. "Let's go."
The Eidolon carefully walked through the gateway, taking things slow so that she didn't exhaust herself as even walking was tiring.
Mist followed the girls through the gateway and went back to looking through the gifts that he'd picked up from killing the forsaken and Slayer. 'Ring of the Spirit Beast, this particular ring allows the wearer to summon an eldritch abomination in the form of a chihuahua, while technically trainable this particular beast is violent, ill-tempered, barely able to hurt a toddler because of poor strength and as dumb as a brick.'
"What should I use for a target?" the eidolon asked.
"One second," Mist replied as he pulled the ring out of his gift page. He double checked the ring's abilities with his sunglasses then slipped the ring on his ring finger and summoned the mutated chihuahua twenty feet in front of them.
Egwene stared at the disturbing looking creature that looked like a cross between a dog, a hairless rat and a squid. "What is that?"
"That's Fluffy, he isn't fluffy and I can just resummon him after you blast him," Mist replied as he checked the next item in his gift menu. 'Elixir of The Cat, this cursed elixir permanently turns the drinker into a cat. While this doesn't change the user's intelligence or remove any magical abilities, the form lacks opposable thumbs and the transformation inflicts various catlike personality traits.'
The eidolon winced when she blasted the dog-like creature with purple lightning and it exploded, sending blood and chunky bits of flesh everywhere that quickly faded away after a couple of seconds. "That was easier than I was expecting."
"The wand is enchanted to boost your accuracy and comes with a training booster," Mist replied as he resummoned the dog and skimmed the description of the token that boosted a channeler's talent with compulsion. 'That's less useful than the general boost but it's probably worth trying to reverse engineer once I get my enchanting spell working.'
He checked the next gift. 'Clip-on Earring of Translation, while wearing the earring, you can understand any language being spoken. That might come in useful if I keep using the sliding device.' He checked the next item and laughed when he read the description. "Lyre of Building, if that didn't come from Asmodean, I'll eat my hat."
"Building?" the eidolon asked as she blasted the dog again.
Mist resummoned the dog ten feet to the left of where he'd summoned it the last time, trying to get a better handle on summoning it exactly where he wanted. "You can basically play the lyre once a week to magically construct buildings or other structures, thirty minutes of playing is worth a hundred craftsmen working for three days which means we should be able to build a city in record time if I can duplicate it and clone a couple gleemen."
"That's your answer for everything isn't it?" Egwene's clone teased.
"If it works, it works," Mist replied as he checked the next gift in his menu. 'Salt Shaker of Fermentation? This empty salt shaker can ferment plant matter into tasty, potent alcoholic beverages whenever it is shaken over the plants. Apples can become cider, barley can provide beer, and so on. If nothing else, that should let the school turn a profit with the magic trees.'
The eidolon turned and blasted the growling dog with a beam of purple 'lightning', causing it to splatter as it was blown apart. "I think I have a handle on the wand, can we start?"
Mist pulled his armor bracelet off and handed it to the eidolon. "That should help keep you alive."
"Thank you," the eidolon replied as she put the bracelet on, looking forward to improving her abilities so she didn't feel weak and so she could protect her master.
Egwene used mana to weave a shield of air with a hole that she could reach through. "I'll open a gate and start tying up trollocs with cables of air while you blast the rest with dark fire then we'll move to the next group."
"And repeat as needed until you can get your enchanting spell working," Egwene's clone added, looking forward to seeing what he could make.
"Works for me," Mist replied as he checked the description of the white coffee mug with 'Favorite Teacher!' printed on it in black letters. 'This indestructible mug is always around and filled with the perfect coffee. The first time you take a drink from the mug, it downloads an entire teaching degree into your mind. Unfortunately, drinking the coffee decreases your reluctance to fuck your students and increases your exhibitionist tendencies. Probably just as well that the clones are loyal and I can tell them to behave if that pushes them over the line.'
Egwene used mana to open a gateway to the Blight on the other side of the 'wall' of air, trying to find a group of trollocs to attack.
Mist glanced at the gateway looking down at the Blight then focused on the description of the second to last gift he'd received. 'Monster Mirror? Staring at your reflection's eyes for a minute will unleash the monster within, granting you the permanent ability to change into a perverted magic using monster. That's probably worth testing,' he mused as he checked the last gift, 'Collar of the Mad Scientist? Wearing this collar gives the user access to a crafting system and quests that can unlock unique schematics and crafting skills of questionable morality.'
Mist closed his gift menu and focused on the shadowspawn when Egwene opened a gateway in the middle of a trolloc camp and started tying up the trollocs so they were valid targets for his poison pit spell. "Are you ready?"
The eidolon drank the elixir that would boost her constitution and held her wand at the ready. "Ready!"
Mist smiled as he cast his spell, sending the eidolon and four trollocs to the arena for a death match then worked on torching the trollocs that Egwene and her clone weren't trying up, trying to boost his mana to the point where he could get started making magic items.
0o0o0
Comments
ZeroLink21
Lol divine adventure's wife tells him he needs to clear out all the junk he has just sitting unused in the basement and attic of their castle
Mist of Shadows
I mean, some of them sort of relate to the scary cultists he kills... but it's almost like some divine adventurer is cleaning out their closet or something... :)
ZeroLink21
Lol love the absolutely random items he keeps getting
