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Harry Potter and the Magic of Books Part 7
🕑 Added 2016-05-21 07:09:52 +0000 UTCDiagon Alley rather impressive if only because of the strangeness of the new world. He smiled as he looked at a particularly interesting cloak that burned with purple flame. It would stand out horribly in the normal world, but he could see himself wearing something like that when he went on his adventures, provided that it gave him enough protection. He frowned slightly as he followed McGonagall into the wizarding bank and saw the goblins. They were dressed like old fashioned bankers. They weren’t exactly human, but there weren’t as ugly as he’d been expecting either. “This isn’t exactly what I was expecting.”
McGonagall smiled slightly. “Just be polite and you should be fine.”
Several goblins stared for a few seconds when they spotted Sarah before hurrying on their way.
Sarah said, “Let’s get this over with.”
Thankfully for Sarah’s patience and Mrs. Granger’s nervousness it was easy to get money changed into wizarding currency though the lines were rather long. The goblins barely batted an eye when Harry exchanged several rupees for enough galleons to fuel his shopping spree much to McGonagall’s shock.
McGonagall waited until they were out of the bank before she asked, “Where did you get the gems?”
“Monster hunting. It’s not like the Dursleys gave me an allowance. So where to first?”
McGonagall glanced at Sarah then decided that she wasn’t going to argue about the monster hunting bit. “Potions ingredients, general supplies and robes then we can pick up your wands.”
Hermione asked, “What about the bookshop?”
“I’ve seen your house, we’ll save that for last.” She figured that would let her leave and give them plenty of time in the bookstore which should be safe enough, especially with Sarah to protect them.
Shopping wasn’t too terribly painful, McGonagall had it down to a science or at least a familiar art form that basically consisted of walking into a shop and asking for the first year student package and letting them look around and ask questions for a few minutes, before reminding them of the time and moving onto the next store. Within two hours they had their supplies, robes, and wands much to Sarah’s annoyance, as she still considered reliance on a single focus to be a weakness.
Harry wasn’t sure why his wand had freaked out the strange wandmaker but he figured McGonagall would have said something if there was a problem with it. “Is there anywhere else we should go?”
McGonagall shook her head. “As first years can’t bring brooms to Hogwarts, we can skip the Quidditch supply store.”
Harry shrugged. “Sounds good to me. I’d rather see what I can find in the bookstore.”
McGonagall smiled slightly as she led them to Flourish and Blotts. ‘He may look like his father but, he’s more like his mother.’
Harry smiled brightly as they walked into the magical bookstore. “I think I just found my new favorite shop.”
Mrs. Granger looked around with a dramatic sigh. “Great… we’ll never get her to leave.”
McGonagall said, “I’ll help you find your first year books then I should get going, I need to meet with a few more students today.”
Mrs. Granger said, “Thank you for the help.”
“My pleasure,” McGonagall replied, as she led them over to the piles of first year books. “That should do it.”
Harry said, “Thank you. I guess I’ll see you at Hogwarts.”
“Take care, Harry,” McGonagall replied as she left.
Sarah rubbed her hands together once McGonagall vanished into the crowd. “Okay, we should probably grab some better potion books, maybe year two for all of the subjects and some wizarding world culture books, maybe some children’s stories.”
Harry said, “I’ve got a few hundred galleons to blow on books, if it looks interesting grab a copy.”
Mrs. Granger asked, “Are you sure you want to spend that type of money?”
“I killed a few monsters for the rupees, I have over two hundred of the things in my bag.”
Sarah said, “I’d like a copy of all of the Harry Potter books.”
Harry sighed dramatically. “Fine, there might be something worth grabbing in them.”
Hermione giggled as she started looking through the books with glee.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Hermione giggled as she looked through their collection of books. “Okay, I’ve got a Harry Potter and the Enchanter’s Apprentice, a Harry Potter and the Magic Book and Harry Potter and the Arabian Nights… that one looks like porn.”
Harry laughed as he sat down on the couch. “Can I see the magic book?”
“Sure.” Hermione passed over the book in question.
Harry read the summary. “Harry gains shape changing from a magical book… then has to defeat the evil wizard in a shape changing battle… great.” He reached into the book and pulled forth a black tome. “I love this ability.”
Hermione asked, “Is that the shape changing book?”
“Yes.” Harry grinned.
“Can I have it?”
“Nope, but you can read it first, I’m going to look through some of the other Harry Potter books to see if there is anything worth grabbing.” He handed her the book.
Sarah looked up from the book she was reading. “Try Harry Potter and the Enchanter’s Apprentice, I’m working on Harry Potter Learns to Fly Without a Broom.”
Harry shook his head. “Creepy bastards, shouldn’t I be making money off this?”
“It’s one of the things we need to look into.” There was a lot of stuff that Sarah wanted to look into because a lot of things about Harry’s background weren’t adding up.
Harry quickly read through the picture book version of Harry Potter and the Enchanter. “I could pull a few things out of the book, but I think it’s better to use it for jumping into, he has a master Enchanter that is willing to teach him.”
Hermione looked up from her new book on shape changing. “What about Harry Potter Flies Without a Broom?”
Sarah sighed. “Apparently his mother’s ghost comes back and teaches him how to fly, it’s not really explained where she learned the skill.”
“I could see my Mum?” Harry asked with an almost desperate hope.
“A version of her by a hack author, yeah,” Sarah replied gently.
“In other words it wouldn’t really be her. I don’t suppose he wrote the spell down in a conveniently placed spell book?”
“Yep! Along with several other spells that probably shouldn’t exist.” Sarah snickered.
Hermione shook her head. “This is blatant cheating.”
“I don’t see you stopping,” Harry replied with a smirk. “Besides, this isn’t a game, this is my life and I’m making up for the last ten years of shite.”
Sarah snickered as she handed Harry the book where the fictional Harry learned flight. “Here.” She grabbed the Arabian Nights book and started looking for anything useful.
Harry reached into the book and pulled out the other Harry’s overpowered spell book of spells that probably shouldn’t exist. “Okay, we should probably get to work studying our actual class books for a while.”
“After the shape changing book,” Hermione replied absently.
“We’ve got all summer.” Harry grinned as he picked up his defense book and started reading.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Sarah glanced away from where Hermione was reading her charms book and over at Harry who looked like he was drifting rather than reading the textbook he had open in front of him. “Penny for your thoughts, Harry?”
Harry twitched slightly as Sarah’s question jarred him out of his drifting. “What?”
Sarah snickered. “You’re drifting, I was curious what you’re thinking about?”
“This stupid book.” Harry glanced at Hermione as he realized what he’d just said. “Ah...”
Hermione looked up from her book with a slight frown on her face. “What do you mean?”
“Most of the textbooks are boring.”
Sarah shrugged. “I’ve seen worse.”
“I agree that they’re a bit dry, but the spells are interesting which makes up for it.” Hermione knew their textbooks were more than a bit dry but that was true of most textbooks.
Harry asked, “But what if we could have it both ways?”
“What do you mean?” Sarah asked curious where Harry was going with his idea.
“I was thinking about the newspaper with the moving pictures that we saw in Diagon Alley, how much easier would casting some of the spells be if there was a moving picture showing us how?”
Hermione frowned slightly as she thought about the complicated diagrams that could be simplified by just showing a moving picture. “I’m sure there is a reason they don’t, though I’m not sure what it could be.”
Harry nodded. “I’d love a better potions guide, maybe one with moving pictures showing various steps. It’s like the teacher intentionally picked the worse possible book to teach people how to brew potions.”
Hermione rolled her eyes. “I’m sure that they’ll explain the missing details in class.”
“And if they don’t?”
“Why wouldn’t they?” Hermione asked confused. “It’s their job to teach us.”
“I asked one of the older students about potions at the bookstore, he said the teacher was horrible.”
“He was probably exaggerating. Professor McGonagall said that Hogwarts was a great school.”
Sarah piped up, “It’s her job to say that.”
Hermione opened her mouth to argue then frowned slightly as she realized that she’d just been taking the Professor’s word on anything related to Hogwarts. “Okay, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask a few more students about Hogwarts and it would give us a chance to get a couple more books and Mum did say that we could go to the alley as long as Sarah was with us.”
Harry said, “I’d rather know what we’re walking into.”
Hermione looked at Sarah. “We’ve got our boots, how are you planning to get to the alley?”
Sarah smirked as she sat on the table and shrunk down to her one foot tall form. “On Harry’s shoulder.”
“You figured out how to shrink?”
“Yep and fly, I’m awesome.” Sarah giggled as she flew up and landed on Hermione’s shoulder, her broomstick noticeably absent.
Harry said, “Let’s start at the bookstore and go from there.”
Hermione asked, “What are we going to do if it turns out that the teachers aren’t the best around?”
“We fix it.”
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Hermione was rather dismayed to learn that they had at least three suspect teachers at the school, four if you included the Care of Magical Creatures and possibly five as most of the Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers were suspect and never lasted all that long. Even if one of the suspect teachers taught an elective that they couldn’t take until third year it still painted a dreadful picture of the teaching staff of their new school. “Maybe we can talk to Professor McGonagall about this…”
Harry shook his head. “She has to know that the History teacher is horrible, he’s been the teacher there for centuries. I doubt she could have missed Snape’s favoritism for the last ten years. Maybe being the Care of Magical Creatures teacher is way more dangerous than I would expect but a teacher that can’t keep from losing limbs is a suspect teacher as far as I’m concerned.”
Sarah looked up from the large sundae she was working on eating. “Depending on how dangerous the creatures are, I can see some injuries but most of the students that had him said that he isn’t careful enough. Still, that’s a worry for third year.”
Hermione scowled as she thought about the sheer number of useless teachers. “How do we fix this?”
Harry said, “I’ve got a couple of ideas on how to deal with Binns. We should be able to toss Snape into a book and get a replacement Potions teacher. That leaves us with getting a new Divination teacher if we want to bother, either that or we just avoid taking the subject. Still, it’s an elective so we don’t have to worry about it for a few years.”
“What about the defense teacher?” Sarah asked.
“If they’re useless,” Harry dropped his voice to a whisper as he glanced around the busy alley. “we trap them in a book for a couple of months until the school brings in a replacement.”
“That seems a little drastic,” Hermione replied dubiously.
“We were told that Hogwarts was the best school around, either they lied or the other schools are worse. Either way, I want a decent education. I had to put up with Dudley screwing things up at my old school, I’m not putting up with crap this time around, not when I don’t have to.”
“Snape is a professor, how do you expect to stuff him in a book?”
“Unconscious, stun guns or something from a Star Trek book should work nicely,” Harry replied with a smirk.
Sarah snickered. “Okay, enough of that. Have you figured out what you’re going to do about your cursed scar?”
Harry nodded. “I’m fairly sure that a remove curse in a game world would cure it. I figure we can hit a bookstore once you’re done with your ice cream.”
“Okay.” Sarah giggled as she continued working on her sundae.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Hermione frowned slightly as she looked at the adult sourcebook that Harry was holding, “New Magica: a Sexy Guide to the Demonic City of Sin. How is that going to help?”
Harry flipped the book around and showed Hermione the page that talked about the temple that could cure curses, possessions, and heal people of any and all diseases for the right price. “The healers should be able to deal with my scar, if not we’ll try a different book. Besides, they have bookstores, skill training centers and magic shops.”
“Bookstores? Let’s go.”
Harry set the gamebook back on the shelf then reached out with his magic and pulled Hermione and Sarah into the book with him. He smiled as he looked around the old fashioned streets of the game world at the various scantily clad demon girls wandering around. “Nice.”
Sarah said, “Just remember, you can look but don’t touch. Some demon girls can suck out part of your soul with nothing more than a brief kiss, best not to chance it without a contract in advance.”
“Point.”
Hermione glanced around until she spotted the large stone temple that was shown in the sourcebook. “Let’s get your scar dealt with.”
Harry grinned as he headed up the stone steps toward the temple.
A sexy looking red skinned female demon near the entrance to the temple spoke up in a silken voice, “Hey sugar, are you interested in making a deal?”
Harry frowned slightly as he looked at the demon, at first glance the woman was pretty even with her horns but a second look proved the lie. Her smile was more of a cruel smirk barely concealed behind her smile and her eyes seemed lifeless in a strange way that he couldn’t explain. “No thanks, we’re just here for the temple.”
The demon snorted as she pulled out a wicked looking dagger. “Too good for deals then?”
Sarah drew her glowing sword as she floated off Harry’s shoulder. “I suggest you walk away demon.”
The demon laughed. “You brought a pixie for defense? You think she’s going to save you?”
Sarah giggled then changed back to her human sized form. “No, they brought a battle nymph that is just looking for an excuse to kill demons.”
The demon gulped as the nymph’s rune covered glowing sword suddenly looked a lot more impressive and dangerous. “Fine, have it your way, but watch your back.”
Hermione scowled as she watched the demon stalk off. “I don’t think we made a friend.”
Sarah put her sword back in its sheath. “I have a feeling this isn’t the safest town.”
Harry shrugged, “It’s not.”
“What do you mean?” Hermione asked.
“Judging by the random encounter tables in the book, there are pickpockets, cutthroats, corrupt police that might try to shake us down and of course plenty of unscrupulous demons wandering the streets trying to buy souls, sell fake magical items and otherwise cause travelers hassle. It’s supposed to be part of the charm of the place.”
Hermione turned and looked at the temple. “Nice place, can we trust the temple?”
“We should be able to, at least to a certain extent.” Harry headed toward the temple.
Hermione frowned as she looked around at the various people crowding the streets for a couple of seconds before following Harry.
Sarah cast a notice me not spell against people intending harm then followed Harry and Hermione into the temple. She knew that it wouldn’t work against exceptionally powerful beings, but it should keep some of the random pickpockets from thinking they were a good mark.
Harry swept his gaze over the inside of the temple, he wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, maybe wooden benches like the various churches he’d seen on television or something from ancient greek temples that he’d learned about in school but he hadn’t been expecting what was basically a stone chamber with a number of steaming hot pools. A thin layer of warm mist covered the everything, though he could make out the occasional naked rune covered teenage girl wandering around. “This isn’t what I was expecting.”
Hermione smiled as a particularly cute tattooed girl walked over to them. “Hello.”
“Greetings and welcome to the temple of Sexual Healing.” The girl frowned slightly as she looked at Harry and noticed the black miasma twisted around his scar she could see in his aura. “You’re here for a cure, yes?”
Harry reached up and pulled his hair back to show off his lightning bolt shaped scar which she was obviously staring at. “I’ve got a cursed scar that I need dealt with, can you help?”
“If it was only a curse then we could cure you, however your problem isn’t so simple.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have a fragment of a soul stuck in your scar. In order to cure you, we’d have to exercise the fragment then remove any remaining dark magic. Sadly, we no longer have the ability to exorcise demons or spirits.”
Hermione asked, “What happened?”
“The sacred relic we need to perform exorcisms was stolen several months ago. We’ve managed to track the relic down to the Temple of Twisted Amusement in the Forest of Cleaves but none of the adventurers we’ve sent have returned.”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Let me guess, you expect us to travel into a dangerous forest, sneak into a death trap disguised as a temple and return with your sacred relic so that you can cure me, right?” He briefly considered leaving and just jumping into a Dungeons and Dragons book and getting cured that way but decided that sneaking into the vault and liberating the sacred relic might be interesting, considering he’d seen the floor plan of the temple and should be able to avoid most of the traps.
“Now that you mention it…” The temple girl smiled.
“Do you at least have a map?” he asked with a mix of amusement and irritation. It wasn’t like he really needed a map, but he wanted to compare the actual map with the map from the source book and souvenirs were great.
“I’ll get you one.”
Hermione watched the naked girl walk off into the mist. “We’re going to need a trap breaker that we can trust.”
“I was just thinking about that. We can either hire someone from here or we can just fly up to the top of the temple and cut through the vault’s exterior wall with that nice stone cutting spell we found and grab the chalice.”
Sarah snickered. “That sounds like cheating, let’s do it.”
Hermione frowned slightly. “That’s not exactly teaching us any trap breaking skills.”
“Sure it is, it’s teaching us to avoid them or to drop bombs on the traps that you want broken, it’s an important life skill,” Sarah replied cheekily.
Harry rolled his eyes. “We can also come back with the gold that we’re looting from the temple and pay for training at the thieves guild.”
“Shouldn’t we do that first?” Hermione asked.
“Nah, that’d let them know we’re interested in the temple and that there is a very valuable sacred relic there, then they’d hit it first. Look, it doesn’t cost us anything to fly out to the temple and look through the walls with my X-Ray glasses.”
“It just seems less than honest to avoid all of the traps and creatures that someone stuck into the dungeon,” Hermione replied trying and failing to keep a straight face.
Harry rolled his eyes. “Nothing says that we can’t come back after getting my curse cured and explore the dungeon, but honestly, I’d like some training before we try to disarm the perverted but lethal traps.”
“Perverted but lethal traps? Shouldn’t the guide tell you how to disarm all of the traps?”
“Not really, there’s a general description but it would be much like explaining how to fix a tire on an automobile, you can do it but you’re probably going to do something wrong the first time without actual training and with a death trap that sounds like a remarkably stupid idea. As for the perverted part of things, there’s the pool of goo best left unmentioned that has an antimagic field over it except in a certain path which the guidebook doesn’t actually describe. I’d rather not fall into the goo.”
“What happens if we fall into the goo?”
“We get pregnant,” Harry replied with a shiver.
Hermione shook her head. “You’re a boy, you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Erm, yeah… actually with that stuff I sort of do… thus why I’m not going anywhere near it,” he said firmly.
“That... “
“Sounds unbelievably amusingly painful, maybe we should grab your cousin and toss him into the temple.” Sarah snickered at the look of horror on Hermione’s face.
“That’s mean!” Hermione exclaimed.
Harry considered the idea then realized that sending Dudley to a world where he could get power by selling his soul was probably not the best idea in the world. “No thanks, I don’t need him to spawn something worse.”
The naked teenage girl walked back over with a map and a sketch of a rune covered chalice. “Best of luck.”
“Naughty, naughty, Zoot,” Hermione muttered with a grin when she saw the sketch.
Harry accepted the map and the drawing of his quest objective. “Just so we’re clear, I bring back your sacred chalice and you cure all of my dark magic problems for free, right?”
“That’s the deal.” The girl grinned at Harry.
“Excellent, let’s go loot a temple,” Harry replied as he headed out of the temple.
