ChaosExceed
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Personal Struggles and Advancements
🕑 Added 2023-06-09 09:00:00 +0000 UTCI've been reliably posting Art on Pixiv twice a week for over a year now. Never missed a deadline until now, and I feel like I won't in the future.
When I started, I wasn't able to finish two Illustrations a week. I don't know how many of you know me from my Twitter times, but I'm sure there won't be many. As I started posting twice a week, I actually had maybe 30 finished Illustrations ready so I only had to finish one a week and still could upload 2. So it had been actually close to when I opened my FANBOX where my backload of finished Illustrations had gone dry.
At that point I felt some sort of despair. "Would I be able to keep this pace up?"
Summer wasn't over at that point and I'm honestly not able to perform over heat periods, like I get heavily depressed.
Somehow, I didn't want to stop posting 2 Illustrations a week, as that summer was a time where my Drawings really started getting attention and somehow, I pulled through.
Not only that but after starting FANBOX, I was also able to do extra variations for my supporters, sometimes up to 10 for a single Illustration. As an Artist, I feel like I've been evolving a lot lately. I'm still faaaaar away from where I want to be, but I consider myself at least decent which wasn't the case before.
I don't know if you feel the same, but looking back at my Drawings from a year ago, I definitely have gotten a bit better, and also a considerable bit faster.
Now, Summer is beginning anew, I'm already suffering heavily from the heat and stand before a new challenge. Living in a big City, without fresh air, temperatures going over 30°C, I'm sure many of you are suffering as well. But my limit is around 15°C. Anything warmer than that and I'm uncomfortable. I dress in the Winter times like most people would dress at summer, so this is a problem for me.
Until now, I've been able to master the Challenges I had, so I'm certain I will jump over this hurdle as well. Seeing my own progress and having your support is really pushing me forward, even through these insufferable temperatures. Maybe I really can someday call this my job.
I'm also working on a game. This is unrelated to everything I do here and it's "just" a RPG Maker game, but it's another passion I have. So maybe I can share something of that here too if you're interested. It's gonna be a big Dungeon Crawler with Base management Systems and a Gacha Character System. But more on that only if you are interested.
Well, I thank you for reading this. By the way, maybe I will be returning to twitter someday, I just have to explain to my old followers from there why I suddenly started drawing feet, haha.
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もう1年以上、週に2回、確実にPixivにArtを投稿しています。今まで一度も締め切りに遅れたことはないし、これからもないだろうと思っています。
始めた当初は、週に2枚のIllustrationを仕上げることができませんでした。Twitterの回で私を知っている人がどれだけいるのかわかりませんが、きっと多くはないでしょう。週2回のペースで投稿するようになって、実は30枚くらい完成したイラストがあったので、週1枚仕上げれば2枚アップできるようになりました。だから、実はFANBOXを開いた頃に、完成したイラストのバックロードが枯渇してしまったんです。
その時、ある種の絶望を感じたんです。「このままで良いのだろうか...」と。
その時点ではまだ夏も終わっていなかったし、正直、激しく落ち込むような暑い時期にはパフォーマンスが発揮できない。
でも、週2回のイラスト投稿をやめたくなかったんです。あの夏は、ドローイングが注目され始めた時期だったので、何とか乗り切りました。
それだけでなく、FANBOXを始めてからは、応援してくださる方のためにバリエーションを増やすこともできるようになり、1つのイラストで10種類くらいになることもありました。アーティストとして、最近すごく進化している気がします。まだ、なりたい自分には程遠いですが、以前とは違い、そこそこのレベルにはなってきたと自分では思っています。
皆さんもそう思うかもしれませんが、1年前のドローイングを見返すと、確実に少しは良くなっているし、スピードも相当上がっています。
さて、夏が始まり、私はすでに暑さに耐えながら、新たな挑戦の前に立っています。大都会に住んでいて、新鮮な空気もなく、30℃を超えるような暑さに悩まされている方は多いと思います。でも、私の限界は15℃くらいです。それ以上の気温になると、不快になります。冬は普通の人が夏に着るような服装をしているので、これは困ったことです。
今までは、自分の持っている課題を克服することができたので、このハードルも必ず乗り越えられると信じています。 自分の成長を実感し、皆さんに応援していただくことで、この厳しい気温の中でも、前に進むことができます。いつか本当に、これを仕事と呼べるようになるかもしれませんね。
私はゲームにも取り組んでいます。これは私がここでやっていることとは無関係で、RPGメーカーのゲーム「だけ」なのですが、私のもうひとつの情熱なのです。だから、もし興味があれば、ここでも何か共有できるかもしれないね。これは、拠点管理システムとガチャキャラクターシステムを備えた、大きなダンジョンクローラーになる予定です。しかし、それについては、あなたが興味を持った場合にのみ、詳しく説明します。
さて、これを読んでくれてありがとうございました。ところで、私はいつかtwitterに戻るかもしれません、なぜ私が突然足を描き始めたのか、twitterの古いフォロワーに説明しなければなりません、ハハ。
Comments
ChaosExceed
As long as I dream, I'll be trying to achieve those dreams. As cheesy as it sounds, it keeps me going even if I feel down. I am really thankful for your words and support, it helps a lot!
a10e19
It's sad to read about the despair you had endured, but I'm happy you were able to keep pushing through and reach a point where you're happy with what you're doing. It sucks that air conditioning isn't more popular where you live. (I live in America, so it's rare to find a building without air conditioning that wasn't voluntarily removed.) I've only been a fan since March but I wish I were a fan sooner...
ChaosExceed
Thank you! I'm gonna keep doing my best!
ChaosExceed
It's more random than some might think. Back then, I wasn't even into feet, but it seemed like those were the thing people liked most about my works. I only really found out after gaining access to Pixiv Analytics and seized the chance. Well, thinking back, I may have provoked that reaction though as I always felt more comfortable than most artists drawing Hands and Feet as an amateur and liked to show that. It could be interesting to write a blog entry here about that topic because I think it's a random accumulation of coincidences.
土撥鼠 Marmot (ddante123)
The feet you draw really good and lovely, love it!!!
That last line really makes me wonder why you did end up drawing feet...
