The Caretaker
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Way of the Shadow Wolves - 07/Jan/2023
🕑 Added 2023-01-07 20:13:13 +0000 UTCThis book has been described as a fever dream, but at least fever dreams are exciting.
Chapter 3 shows us the deep states evil lair. This is a childs understanding of politics
Noche literally tortures a guy with a rattlesnake
“Sleeper cells of Muslim terrorists?” The big lawman was almost thinking out loud. “Why would high rollers come through this godforsaken part of the state? Why wouldn’t they do this in Mexico, where they wouldn’t have risk of being caught? Especially if there are Mexicano importantes protecting them. Doesn’t add up.” 18%
“The desperado’s mind went back in time to a small town in Mexico twelve years before, where he first met his two cohorts when they were thrown together by a tragic set of circumstances. Their parents had been gunned down by a cartel who was at war with a competing cartel for control of the area, which was a pathway to the American border near Nogales, Arizona. All three had been shepherded to a local mission where they were being cared for by the Franciscans, who were becoming overwhelmed by the growing number of children left homeless due to the rampant killings by the warring cartels . . .”
Come on man dont get weirdly sympathetic on me after you tortured this dude with a snake
06
God there is a disgustingly voyeuristic depiction of one of the desperado’s backstory. It feels like Segal is kinda jerking off to the imagined depravities of cartel violence.
07 - “The Feds and the Cartel, whats the difference?”
Jesus this dialogue is garbage. There are so many characters and none of them speak like humans. Its impossible to tell who is doing what and when.
He implies the Cartel has Hellfire missiles
John has some gut feeling about these captured cartel members being “more than just desperados and drug runners” but for the life of me I cant figure out why. I think its because they look and sound arab?
08: Mexican intelligence perspective
Stop introducing character jesus fucking christ
““CARAJO! GRAN CARAJO.”
Jose Maria Gutierrez de Porras, the top counterintelligence officer in Mexico who reported directly to the president of Mexico, was pissed. Seriously pissed.”
Wow. I would never have been able to tell if you hadn’t said.
““People, I need some ideas. The Deep State to the north is on the move. We are seeing one thousand jihadists a month going north, and they seem to have almost miraculous powers both here in Mexico and once across the border—as if they were on diplomatic passports all expenses paid.”
WOW. A thousand a month???
““The president is sick and tired of hearing about a wall that is not needed to keep Mexicans out—we already own the fucking USA. The OTMs are giving us a bad name, whether they’re Central American baby gangsters or Asian gangsters, I don’t care.”
What
““It is crystal clear to all of us that the USG is completely penetrated, and this trafficking of human jihadists is approved by the president himself and being protected by rogue elements of the CIA, FBI, and DEA—the same rogue elements that have been smuggling drugs, guns, gold, cash, and small children for the American elite ever since Allen Dulles and J. Edgar Hoover first created the secret state within a state.”
Okay we have some actual criticism of the CIA. Like yes Allen Dulles and J. Edgar were horrible.
“I have no idea what they are planning, but a violent American Spring funded by Constantine Loros and augmented by a wave of false flag attacks absolutely comes to mind.
That guy isn’t real. Its clearly supposed to be George Soros.
““Our president is adamant. The USA is half Latino now; we have recovered all the land stolen from us through the Mexcan-American War started on the basis of many lies—yellow journalism—and we need to protect our investment.”
Not true. Fucking hell.
““We will show the American people we care as much about the integrity of their Constitution and their Republic as they do.””
Ah yes. Mexican counterintelligence officers. Well known for caring about the constitution. Segal seems to elevate this to the level of some bizarre holy document.
09: Cartel prisoners
Oh yeah the previous chapter is over fuckhead
Okay we have a flashback to Johns backstory. He grew up on a reservation and his younger brother killed himself.
His grandfather taught him the old ways of the spirit or whatever
“His tracking ability was uncanny, as was his talent for learning things that pertained to his internal self, like the ancient Chinese art of Bagua and the Japanese art of Aikido.”
The two most bullshitified martial arts. Except maybe for combat Tai Chi
Name Dropped Maricopa County Jail
10: Death sign
“THE NEXT MORNING, John tried to reach the woman reporter, Maria,”
This is so fuckign funny
Oh the cartel killed the woman reporter. Why. What did she even do.
“That meddling, Indian, pain in the ass,” he said quietly, almost to himself as he examined the cellphone.”
Scooby doo ass dialogue
Oh my god. They stuff her body into a suitcase and they’re able to leave the place unnoticed because some random lady happens to get her purse stolen at the exact moment they need to leave.
STOP INTRODUCING CHARACTERS MOTHER FUCKER
Okay its implied that that this is the body they find in the opening scene.
Jimmy and his brother Sweet Tooth are now discussing how hot the murdered reporter is.
11: The cartel and the Jihadists
John is now chastizing the cartel guy for being mean to other mexicans
““Talk to me, man. I may be your only way back to being human.” John paused for a moment. “I want to know your real name. What is it?” he spat out quickly. He got nothing.
”
Jesus christ man
““And that makes you feel good?” John made a Marlon Brando “Godfather” face as he spoke. “Don’t shit me, man. You know that I know what is going on in your head.””
““Where did you learn to speak English?” John asked.”
People speak english in mexico
““Like I told you, ese, I was organizing the community. Like Obama did before he organized the country.””
Wait does he actually think that Community organization is code for gang shit? I don’t think so.
12: The Border Project
“GENERAL CLAP, CALLED “VD” behind his back, was pensive.” Alright that actually made me laugh.
“ POTUS has accelerated his timeline for Operation Paperclip II. We have one thousand jihadists coming in next month; they all need to be in position and ready to go for the second wave of violence across America that kicks off on Two July.”
OPERATION PAPERCLIP…2!!
“Like many of the senior servant class in the USG, General Clap—he preferred to be called Director Clap in keeping with his cosmetic role as the nominal director of the national intelligence community—was a 34th degree Bubba. Everyone in the room was also a 34th.”
Oh hey freemasonry, you dont see them much these days.
“General Clap did not understand the way of the ancient warrior. However, the Shadow Wolves did.”
Oh my god
13: Deep state shootout
“Pulling his weapon, he ducked down and moved stealthily with the speed of an ocelot toward the noise. But when he arrived, he found nothing that could have caused it. He searched the area and then turned on a light before holstering his weapon.
He walked into his bedroom and was stunned for the moment at the sight of Alicia lying across his bed with one of his shirts on—and that was about it.
“Hey, did I scare you, little boy?””
EW
““I have trained attack scorpions there.” He laughed.
“You didn’t train them well enough, Johnny Boy,” she commented smugly but in a cute way.”
This reads like a shitpost
Okay the gang guy in jail is scared that someone is gonna kill him. They leave for Maricopa County Jail
“They entered Indian land some ten minutes later and drove toward the task force HQ, but were suddenly aware of two SUVs now moving up on them, rapidly firing shots that took out the rear window.”
Oh hey looks like someone is shooting at us
Jamie is dead
“Yeah, we surrounded them.” Alicia gave a tight-lipped smile and looked at her boss with a bit of coyness showing through in her demeanor, waiting for his response.
“So, two of you surrounded six of them. You gotta tell me how you did that.”
“That’s a secret technique taught to me by a great internal martial arts teacher.” John was stone-faced as he spoke.
“You haven’t told me how it works.” Armando was curious.
“And I’m not going to.”
“Why?”
“Big secret in China. Only shown to Chinese and Native Americans. Bound to silence, boss.”
FUCK OFFFFF
“You know as well as I that the cartels have more money than the Mexican government, and that kind of wealth can buy you anything you want. I’m surprised they don’t have drones,” Armando commented.”
Fuck off. Highest estimates put the cartels wealth at roughly 500 billion, and thats extremely generous. Mexico’s GPD is roughly 1.4 trillion. For the cartel to be wealthier than the mexican government, they would be the worlds 14th largest economy.
14: Exit strategy
Sweet tooth and jimmy chapter. Good lord this is a slog.
15: The Enemy Within
“You want to explain to me how you got one of my prisoners killed last night?”
John looked up at the red-faced federal agent and replied with a simple, “No.”
Lol what are civil rights
““I suppose that’s a threat, Geronimo? You got me crapping in my pants. Can’t you see me shaking and shitting?””
Oh you’re shitting? You’re shdding and farding?
Oh my god they use their awesome kung fu to beat up the federal agents. As if that’s not something that gets you MK-Ultra’d in real life.
16: The coffee pot
God this is fucking boring. I think hes trying to write a mystery solving scene regarding the woman reporters hotel room.
“The Islamic terrorists that are here are supported by sympathetic lawyers, doctors, judges, and CEOs, all woven into our society, funding the soldiers of their caliphate as they prepare to become active and begin the process of taking down what they call us—the Great Satan”
So they’ve won? What’re you gonna do? Shoot all of them?
““And you’re telling me that this goes up to the White House?” John asked grimly.
“Yeah, I’m telling you that. To the White House. There are around fifty members of the Muslim Brotherhood, Hezbollah”
Does he think that Hezbollah and ISIS are the same thing
17: Girls Night Out
Comments
Ealasaid Haas
To be fair, Segal did legit earn a high-level black belt in Aikido. I was really into Aikido in the mid-90s thru early 00s (I earned a brown belt before my body crapped out on me) and Segal was ... a well known personality. He came through and taught workshops a couple years before I started, and knowing the dojo in San Jose that had him as a guest teacher, Segal had SOMETHING of value to say about Aikido. This would've been in the 80s, though, iirc. I'm fascinated that Aikido is included as a commonly-bullshitified art in your commentary, I almost never see anybody talk about it!
PetalsInHerHair
>Operation Paperclip II Me when I want to be covert about what my evil operation is doing
