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Let the New Year in, leave the old one out
🕑 Added 2023-12-31 12:50:42 +0000 UTCWe've managed to finish another rotation of our planet around the sun. I've never been much of a Christmas guy, but the New Year hits different for me. Today is a day of reflection: what did I achieve this year? What were my mistakes, and what could I have done better? I always use this time to think about my future plans as well.
In recent times, it has become more or less a joke to talk about New Year's. There are memes all around how the main goal is just to survive or something similarly droll. It's funny, yes, but it's not a healthy mindset. Why would you set your standards so low? I don't get it. New Year's resolutions aren't a joke unless you treat them as such. First off, don't tell other people what your plans are that involve you and only you. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to learn a new skill? Maybe you want to switch jobs. These are things you write down on a piece of paper for yourself alone. That way, you're in charge of your future. You are the master of your own destiny. Other people tend to force their opinions, or even discouraging thoughts, onto others who just want to maybe become a little bit better in the coming year.
I do have my own goals that I won't share here, but I will tell you something that has to do with Light My Way and the reality of my own shaky confidence when it comes to this project. I believe that the way forward for me to have a mature mindset in this venture is to eliminate all the noise and listen to the music that flows in myself. I say that I don't care about what others think, yet I act out at one random person's "review" of my novel. I shouldn't care at all. If this year has taught me something, it's that there are so many unimportant things in life that mustn't take any of my time anymore. Someone doesn't like my novel? 1* on itch for my game? A scathing review in some random discord channel? Ok. That's that person's opinion, and they are entitled to it. They can say whatever they want because I published something publicly. If I never want to hear another critique of my work in my entire life, then I should just keep everything to myself. As long as I choose to publish online, I should take it all in, the good with the bad (isn't that right, Mr. Vulpes?). I'm 37, yet my writer confidence is that of a youngster because this is my first time writing something like this and made it widely available for everyone to dissect and poke at it.
But why am I reacting like this? I finally got it, and it's ridiculously simple. People read 3 chapters of my novel. My story has a lot of sublayers that you get only when you read it again and, most importantly, when you finish it. I know what will happen next in my story. I know how every interaction between my characters will go. But the readers don't know, so they make assumptions based on incomplete information and critique based on the vague vibes I gave off right now. And. That. Is. Ok. I don't need to modify the way I wanted to deliver my flow for anyone. I wrote the novel that I want to read. I like my pacing, I like my characters, I like the atmosphere I managed to create and I like the end of my story. I wanted to share a picture of my post-it notes on my board with all the plot points that I want to touch on, but would include a lot of spoilers that I would ruin everything really. There are good news and bad news with this though. The good news are that I am happy with the ending and I have a lot of material to work with. The bad news is that I have so much material that I will have to try to condense it into what I consider as being a reasonable of my novel. No, I won't write endless chit-chat for the sake of the word count. That's not my style. If that's ok, I hope you will continue to follow my work and enjoy what I would say is going to be an intense emotional rollercoaster ride.
The final part I want to touch on in regards to Light My Way is that I will make a concious decision to move away from interacting with everyone as much as I tried in the past year, which isn't much I know, but hear me out. I feel like that's not my forte and I want to use my time in more productive ways. I like writing these blog entries, not trying to explain my story in random discord servers. I don't need to spend my time convincing people of this or that or whatever. I also don't want to have anything to do with people who have one mindset set in stone and are the very definition of inflexible. Not only does this consume my time by engaging, but it also consumes my mind afterwards because I can't always shut down the thoughts that still swirl around in my brain. So I'll continue writing here and will post updates on X/Twitter and Bluesky. But that's about it. In the end, I want to produce great stories and you want to read them. That's how this works. If there will be support for my work, it will come without me having to troll around in various online spaces anymore. I am confident in my story and I'll take it to the end even if the Patreon count stays the same until the very last chapter. One friend of mine who read Light My Way said to me after reading two chapters: "You have to finish it now. There's no other choice left." I was already on that boat, so I can't let him down :)
As a treat for you guys who are active supporters I have addedd an extended part of a finished illustration from the upcoming chapter. It's a spoiler, yes. But you deserve it. Also, while writing this entry, Rlion has messaged me with all the necessary illustrations for us to publish Chapter 4. We will have it ready in the first week of January 2024. I hope you like it.
I know I say this every time, and I will probably never stop saying it:
Thank you for the support. It really means a lot to me.
Happy New Year to all of you.
See you in Stradia!
- Hadrian Maximus
