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6 - A Dream of Grand Adventure

🕑 Added 2024-10-25 16:09:33 +0000 UTC

Comments

BrokenOlive

Thank you for the chapter! Edit suggestions: Though it does nothing to explain the nature or symbolism of the construct your have created here.” -> Though it does nothing to explain the nature or symbolism of the construct you have created here.” (your to you) We found the gate controls after only a few turns, ... -> There's a paragraph space inbetween gate. “So, this is what you feel when you get horny, huh? It’s nothing like what man goes through.” -> “So, this is what you feel when you get horny, huh? It’s nothing like what men go through.” (man goes to men go) Of our own people, we saw some few, always... -> Of our own people, we saw a few, always... OR Of our own people, we saw some, always...

Nathaniel Bartley Logee

hehe

deadeyemax

I think I commented this before, but you write dreams and dream logic very well. Better than anyone I’ve seen.


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