One Knight Stand
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October 2024 - Questions & Answers (Extended)
🕑 Added 2024-10-28 16:02:53 +0000 UTCAs suggested by the Greater Circle and voted on by the Greater/Lesser Circle tiers — it's the October Question & Answer session coming in at a whopping 2500+ words!
Half the seats — and a certain sombrero wearing rocking horse — are filled by the still courteously smiling Arthur, smugly smiling Merlin, Adrian, and still rocking Percy in that order. Adrian looks as if he might be regretting his seating options this time.
Percy: *rocking* Still sausages.
Adrian: And I'm still here. *sighs, slumps down, surreptitiously glances to the far left*
Merlin: Indeed, entirely depending upon how one views me, it seems that the females of this group have better luck in avoiding these charming little tête-à-têtes.
Broderick: *off stage* Fuck no, I'm not going out there this time!
*A muffled muttering occurs off stage until finally Gwen comes skipping out, daintily smoothing the hem of her skirt as she claims the empty seat next to Arthur. Arthur tilts his head in slight welcome towards the blushing Gwen as Adrian eyes the now-filled seat.*
Merlin: *chuckles* And now tis Gwen and her reverse harem.
Gwen: *sits there looking completely innocent as if this wasn't the entire reason she volunteered to go on stage*
Percy: Sus.
And there's our first question of the day! Percy, who is the most "sus".
Percy: *immediately responds* The audience.
Adrian: *mumbling from his chair* I agree there.
*Merlin chuckles ever harder as Gwen waves gaily towards the spectators. Meanwhile, Arthur's smile remains ever regally nonchalant while his eyes narrow, as if he's trying to peer through the fourth wall to see who exactly is in this audience.*
No breaking the fourth wall, Percy. Who's the most sus within your own group?
Percy: Certain versions of the MC.
Adrian: H-hey now... *muttering more quietly to himself* Well, maybe...
Merlin: *still chuckling* Tis a bit similar to calling out the audience there, isn't it?
What did we say about breaking the fourth wall? Who else in the group besides—
Percy: Me.
Merlin: *cackles harder*
Adrian: . . .
Gwen: . . .
Rocking Horse: . . .
Arthur: Ah, I remember the jesters amongst Camelot would always claim something such when they feared retribution.
— besides you.
Percy: Being real picky, aren't you? Mom always said that never led to good things.
Merlin: Oh, do go on, you might end up naming the entire group and the rest of the world at this point.
Percy: *shrugs from atop the rocking horse* Merlin, Cass, and Gwen then.
Merlin: *gives a slight bow, looking very pleased, as if they'd just been complimented*
Arthur & Adrian: *sighs in complete sync with each other*
Cassandra: *offstage, a scribbling sound can be heard* ...interesting.
Gwen: W-what, me? Really? Why?
Percy: *just squints his eyes back at her* Sus.
All right, moving on to the first question for Adrian...
Adrian: The first?!
Merlin: *turns to Adrian with a white flash of pearly teeth and lays a companionable hand on his shoulder* How very popular of you, Adrian, hmm?
Adrian: *staring down at Merlin's hand and looking like he very much regrets this seating arrangement now*
Arthur: Merlin, try not to tease the boy so. This type of attention is discomfiting for those not used to it.
Merlin: Oh, just suck all the joy out of my life, Arthur.
Ahem. Adrian, first question. If everything ends well, would you accept MC's marriage proposal?
Adrian: *buries face in hands* Oh God.
Merlin: *teasing* And here I was under the impression that the Benoni's were already married...
Adrian: They were just joking, all right!
Percy: Sus.
Gwen: You know, maybe they were just practicing instead, right? Like how in romance novels the main love interest will do a love confession and then get all flustered and take it back, so that you have to go through all these trials and tribulations and the will-they-or-won't-they when all the secondary love interests also show up... *sighs dreamily*
Adrian: . . .
Arthur: *rather dryly* I see that the modern world still has a fascination for that, does it?
Merlin: Courtly romance never dies, Arthur. It only mutates.
Percy: ...into mutant wolf-bear-sharks.
Adrian: Not the mutant wolf-bear-sharks again—
Adrian, answer the original question.
Adrian: That's a big "if", isn't it? We're literally in the middle of the apocalypse, and we haven't even gotten our previous memories back. *looking off into the distance and definitely not at someone sitting to the left side of the stage* But sure, we survive the hellhounds and the cannibal fae, and everyone clawing at each other's eyes, and... a-and, yeah, get married, go to the moon, and have a happily ever after beneath the magic rainbow.
Merlin: You sound neither very convinced nor very convincing.
Adrian: *sighs* Let's just wait and see, right?
Well, while we're sidestepping and avoiding the issue, here's a question aimed at everyone. How do you feel about lying?
Merlin: Tis a very human thing to do. You may note, I do not lie.
Arthur: From most people's expectations, lies of omission also count, Merlin.
Merlin: In that case, everyone lies every moment of every day! *preens and tosses a silver lock behind their shoulder* And so, I blend in splendidly.
Adrian: *mutters* Sometimes there's good reasons for lying. I-it depends upon the situation, you know?
Gwen: Right! Like, is it a big fat evil lie because you're trying to scam an old granny or because you're having an affair like a no-good cheating sleazebag who can't be trusted to not run around and sleep with half of your friends behind your back... *takes in deep breath* ...or is it a teeny tiny white lie that helps smooth things over? Because telling your friend that her new jeans make her bottom look like a hippopotamus might be the truth, but it's just mean, you know?
Percy: Sus
You want to expand on that thought, Percy?
Percy: The sakura blooms twice a year.
Uh, right. And you, Arthur? You never gave your own opinion either.
Arthur: *gives an elegant shrug of his shoulders as both Gwen and Adrian surreptitiously eye him* I have led nations. It comes with the territory. I suppose you could say, I'm used to it. Both what must be done for the sake of diplomacy and... otherwise.
And speaking of lies and hiding things, here's another question for Adrian...
Adrian: *sighs*
Percy: *sagely says* Modern audiences like deconstructions.
Adrian: *twists in his seat to look at the rocking horse rider* . . . . . . right.
Adrian, why are you hiding certain hobbies from MC, such as your supernatural and Arthurian knowledge?
Adrian: It's not as if I'm hiding them, it just never came up? Like those aren't really my main hobbies or anything, I've just got some... eclectic interests... so I've got a bunch of random esoteric trivia stuck in my mind now? As much help as that is. You know from just surfing Wikipedia or getting trapped in the TV Tropes page? And really, compared to MC, my Arthurian knowledge isn't all it's cracked up to be? I probably learned a bunch through osmosis just by hanging around them?
Merlin: Why does that all sound like a question, Adrian? And what was Arthur just saying about lies of omission?
Adrian: *mumbles to himself and sinks down deeper into his seat*
Arthur: Now, now, not everyone likes to flaunt their knowledge quite so much.
Adrian: *still mumbling and sinking as he pulls his hoodie up around his face*
Percy: And knowing is half the battle. G.I. Joe.
Adrian: . . .
Arthur: . . .
Rocking Horse: . . .
Gwen: Hey, I think I saw that one once! There's been a big 1980s - 1990s revival lately, yeah?
All right, moving on then. The next question is for Merlin, who did indeed get one this month.
Merlin: *crosses a silvery head* Naturally.
Arthur: *chuckles* Indeed, send all the dire questions of import Merlin's way.
Merlin, if you could snatch somebody (not Arthur or yourself) from Camelot, all memories and powers included to modern times, who would it be?
Merlin: ( ,,⩌'︿'⩌,,) Yes, of course, you excluded Arthur. That would make things far too easy, would it? Not as if he'd be needed during the fated day of prophecy, is he?
Arthur: *his practiced smile is starting to look ever-so-slightly strained*
Adrian: *hissing* Merlin!
Gwen: *surreptitiously scoots closer to Arthur* It makes sense to exclude him; I'd choose him too!
Everyone Else on Stage: *looks at Gwen*
Percy: Sus.
Gwen: H-huh? He's King Arthur! Who else would you pick?
Adrian: *sighs and stops sliding in his seat before he ends up prat-falling onto the floor* Yeah, that makes sense.
All right, Merlin and everyone. No Arthur. Who else would you pick?
Merlin: Hmm... in that case, I would pick Ninianne, the First Lady of the Lake. Someone benevolent and powerful who would be guaranteed to be on our side with none of these saboteur shenanigans. With her memories intact, she would bring a font of knowledge and the capacity for the firepower of full-fae magicry that we're currently lacking.
Arthur: Ah... Ninianne. Naturally.
Merlin: Tis a completely logical and unbiased choice, I assure you.
Gwen: B-but, don't we already have the "magic side" covered with you, Merlin?
Merlin: Ah yes, well, that...
Percy: Sus.
And now, after we excluded Arthur, here's a question for the High King. Or rather an appeal. Tell us your most embarrassing Merlin story or incident!
Merlin: (≖ᴗ≖๑) Well, obviously, the audience is still fascinated by me.
Arthur: Oh, speaking of Lady Ninianne, that reminds me of the time that Merlin got stuck at the bottom of a well.
Merlin: Twas a very magic well!
Arthur: *dryly* Indeed. A well so deep that no bottom could be seen no matter what light shined into its depths. That none could hear the sound nor splash of a dropped rock within it landing. That the voice of one who called down into it seemed to reverberate and echo eternally. It simply showed up at the bounds of Camelot one day.
Arthur: *even more dryly* Very much the sort of place that one should crawl into, yes?
Percy: Sus.
Gwen: *scooting even closer to Arthur* T-that does seem like a bad idea.
Merlin: Twas begging to be explored!
Arthur: So down Merlin went, even though we all begged for them not to do so because twas an obvious trap.
Merlin: You realize that one of your daft knights would've crawled down there on one of their balmy quests if I hadn't gone myself?
Arthur: Or we may've covered its mouth with a large stone, as I first suggested.
Merlin: Pah, curiosity cannot be so easily deferred!
*A paper airplane comes sailing onto the stage and nosedives straight onto Merlin's forehead.*
Merlin: *unfolds paper and huffs* What do you mean, they were supposed to roll a stone over the well while I was still trapped inside it?
Adrian: *pinches the bridge of his nose and laughs*
Arthur: So down they went into the deep darkness of the well while the rest of the court stood around its lip and waited.
*Someone giggles in the background. It sounds suspiciously like Vivian.*
Arthur: Twas a trap.
Cassandra: *off stage, woodenly* Oh no, who could've possibly foreseen that?
Percy: Sus.
Arthur: And none could get them out again, as no ropes, no matter how long they twined, could reach them. Despite Merlin shapeshifting into a bird, no winds would allow them to fly free. And I was not about to send half of my knights down there to become entrapped with Merlin, no matter how they pleaded to be allowed this particular quest—
Merlin: If you had, we could've all had a smashing game of Parcheesi down there while waiting.
Arthur: Parcheesi?
Merlin: So it did not exist yet... I may've taught them the rules!
*Another paper airplane comes sailing onto the stage, circling around Merlin's head until the mage's attention dips enough for it to crash into their forehead once more.*
Merlin: *opening the message in a crinkling of paper* What do you mean, they should've left me down there?!
Arthur: As it was, we had to seek a bargain with the fae to rescue Merlin. Luckily, Ninianne was still the Lady of the Lake back then, who struck with us a favorable deal due to her own inclinations. I fear if it were Nimue, she would've gladly left you to rot. And perhaps danced a jig of glee around the mouth of the well while she was at it. As to Vivian... you may've instigated her so much that she would've attempted to drown you herself.
*The sounds of waves crashing come flowing from off-stage as if in agreement.*
So, what did you find down there anyway, Merlin? Was it worth it?
Merlin: ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ . . . . . . . . . . maybe.
Percy: Sus.
Arthur: If I remember rightly, it was nothing but the bottom of a normal well. Twas the shaft itself that had been magicked into an abnormal elongation.
Merlin: ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ .......... maybe.
*Someone on stage gives a snort of laughter. Arthur isn't even trying to hide back his fond chuckling.*
All right then, speaking of silliness, here is the final question for today. To everyone on stage, say a silly fear of yours, something that is harmless but for some reason scares you.
Merlin: The bottom of perfectly normal wells.
Adrian: *is unsuccessfully trying to bite back his laughter*
Arthur: *chuckles* As for me... I suppose I shall go with 'cabbages'.
Broderick: *off stage, laughing so hard he's nearly choking*
Gwen: *gushing* You're afraid of cabbages? That's so adorable!
Merlin: Tis from that unfortunate cursed food poisoning incident, isn't it?
Arthur: *simply smiles and languidly stretches his legs on stage*
Gwen: As for me, I really don't like... spiders. Even little itty-bitty ones. But I guess that's a normal phobia, right? Umm... lemme think, come back to me later, okay?
Adrian: Uh... I'm afraid of... the wrong prescription in my glasses?
Merlin: That does indeed sound quite nefarious.
Adrian: Hey, the prescription being off the slightest bit can cause headaches like that!
Gwen: Oh, oh, that gives me an idea! I don't like goats.
Adrian: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . why goats?
Gwen: Because of that whole head-spinny thing they can do? Like they're possessed or something?
Merlin: *wryly* Yes, being possessed can be quite a pain, as certain MCs can attest.
And what about you, Percy?
Percy: *still rocking away on the rocking horse* Gingerbread.
Broderick: *off stage* Really, another food-based one? Are these your fears or your dietary restrictions?
Gwen: Hmmm... why gingerbread in particular, Percy?
Percy: You'll see.
Broderick: *off stage* . . .
Adrian: . . .
Gwen: . . .
Rocking Horse: Neigh.
And that's the end of this month's Q & A session. Remember to send in your questions in the next Suggestions post if you belong to the Greater Circle!
