Mary Cyn
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Pride Portraits
🕑 Added 2021-07-02 15:06:24 +0000 UTCAfter Mermay I wasn't quite up to another themed everyday art challenge. But it was pride month so I wanted to do *something.* I settled on a series of portraits, one for each color of the rainbow. Indigo isn't on the pride flag but *shrug* I wanted to do it anyway.
Each portrait is of a different queer person who shaped my life in some way, so each post on instagram had a caption talking about who they were and how they contributed to my life and my experience/understanding of queerness.
This is the collected version, with a couple extra drawings thrown in at the end for fun.
My moms are the best parents I could possibly ask for and the perfect poster children for “Love is Love.”
When my dad transitioned my parents stayed together, despite the fact that it was UNHEARD OF in the 90s. They talked about getting divorced since each thought it might make life easier for the other. But they still loved each other and wanted to stay together, so they did. It’s been 26 years and they still love each other madly.
We call my mother an “accidental lesbian” and I still haven’t heard a different name for her particular situation. As far as I know, she still identifies as straight but, really, I think she identifies as “Oh who cares? It’s not your business.”
Alison was my first experience with “chosen family.” She was my parents’ closest friend and when I was born they made her my godmother. For a long time she wasn’t sure if she wanted to date my mother or be my mother, which I think is an uncertainty that many queer people can relate to. And I’d be lying if I said that dynamic hasn’t shown up in many of my close relationships with women.
When I was born, Alison drew up my astrological chart.
“Her venus is in scorpio,” she warned my mom, “Looks like I should be the one to talk to her about sex.”
Which may be the most tell-me-you’re-queer-without-telling-me-you’re-queer thing I can think of. But she wasn’t wrong.
Alison took being a godmother more seriously than most people. Not in a religious way, she’s always been more woo than christian, but in the way that it conferred an “official” familial title on her. She spent a lot of time with me, read me stories, took me on trips. In my childhood memories she is as prominent as my parents.
Even when she moved across the country with her girlfriend, she told me that I could always come live with her if I needed to. At the time I couldn’t think of a reason I’d need to but I was lucky that she had moved back by the time I was 17 and finally hitting my rebellious phase. When I needed to explore my sexuality and independence, Alison supported me in ways my mom wasn’t emotionally ready to.
Chosen family isn’t an exclusively queer concept, but we all turned out to be queer anyway.
The best way to describe Thalia is to say that when she had her orchidectomy, she wanted to keep them preserved in a jar, just waiting for the moment when someone said she didn’t ‘have the balls’ to do something. Her wicked sense of humor isn’t the only reason I love her, but it’s a major one. Thalia is a trans activist and natural born teacher. She has taught countless people about trans issues and you all owe her a great deal of thanks.
When my dad started questioning her gender Thalia became her close friend and something of a mentor. It wasn’t long before she was part of our family. I think of myself as having four parents and Thalia is one of them. When I was 16 she let me ride with her in the Pride Parade’s Dykes on Bikes contingent and it remains one of the best experiences of my life.
Drew is the first person I knew that was HIV positive. I was 7 or 8 when I knew him so I only remember a few things about him. He would do a hilarious valley girl impression to make fun of his sister. He taught me the correct pronunciation of the word “gyro” (you’re all saying it wrong but since everyone does I don’t bother correcting you.) Mostly I remember him making me laugh.
He worked with my mom for a summer, making costumes she had designed. One of the numbers had Carmen Miranda style hats decorated with trash instead of fruit. I think most of the trash came from the dozens of Happy Meals I’d eaten over the summer. I remember Drew and the other stitcher giggling about something they’d put on a hat but they wouldn’t say what it was.
“Um,” the stitcher looked pointedly at me. “It was something from Drew’s wallet.”
“Oh,” my mom rolled her eyes “It’s ok, she knows what a condom is.”
Growing up in theatre in San Francisco during the 80’s meant that it was never too early for me to know about safer sex. It also means that I'm never more comfortable than when I'm surrounded by sassy gay banter.
John Gunn was my first boyfriend but it wasn’t long before became my gay best friend. We first bonded over our love of Tank Girl. Our favorite activity was watching queer indie movies while I dyed his hair bright pink. The summer after high school we went to the Pride Parade and climbed a streetlight so we could see over the crowd. The night before I left California we ended up alone on the couch in my living room. I threw my arms around him and tearfully said “Oh Scarecrow, I’ll miss you most of all.” We stayed like that, hugging and crying, till the sun came up. We lost touch over the years but I still miss him and I hope he’s having a great pride month.
I don’t know if Alicia Silverstone is queer but she IS the reason that I know I’m queer. I was 11 or 12 when I first saw her in the video for Aerosmith’s Cryin and I was instantly entranced. I didn’t even really have words for what I felt at the time, I just suddenly knew that this girl was VERY IMPORTANT and I needed to see more of her.
I’ve seen so many bad movies because of her but I can’t even be mad about it.
This is more of a spiritual portrait since I’m not sure how out the person in question is.
Boymeat is the man who brought me into the kink scene. I was already kinky but he introduced me to the community and showed me the ropes (pun obviously intended though, ironically, he taught me almost nothing about bondage.)
He loved feet and smoking and impact play, which are all still favorites of mine. He loved to tell the story of the kink event that he went to as a Straight Dom and came back from as a bisexual switch. He taught me just how fluid sexuality can be.
He was also a big believer in not taking kink too seriously and, no matter how intense our scenes got, there was always a very good chance that he would punctuate his blows with a Swedish Chef style “Bork, bork, bork.” We shared a love of the bizarre comic strip Red Meat and nothing would make him happier than when he’d do something particularly vicious and I’d shout “I hate you Milkman Dan!”
He’s a father now and I very much hope that at least one person has called him Dadmeat.
Finishing up my Pride Portrait Series with a self portrait.
Every person in this series (and countless others) helped me to be the kinky, polyamorus, bisexual, genderqueer weirdo that I am. I am eternally thankful for them and for the beautiful variety that queer people bring to the world. Happy Pride everyone!
I also did some cartoons inspired by random word combinations (with a queer theme) but these were the only ones I was really happy with.
A vial of Gender Fluid!
And a leather daddy scorpion. This one is really ridiculous and I love him.
Comments
Mary Cyn
Thank you. That means so much to me.
Thank you for sharing these stories. As a not-completely-out queer person, this was exactly what I needed to read today.
Mary Cyn
Please do!
Sailor Business
I'm very tempted to use the bottle of Gender Fluid as an item in my D&D campaign.
