Robert Meta
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Brockton Bay's Marvelous Mage - Chapter Eighty Two
🕑 Added 2025-02-13 16:30:31 +0000 UTCHello everyone! So, lately, I have been considering taking a break from this story. There are a few reasons, not the least of which is that interest in the story seems to be dwindling. I think we all understand what "take a break" usually implies for fan-fiction writing, but nonetheless, I have been considering it. I would like to hear everyone's thoughts on this, so please comment and let me know. And yes, the story would be replaced by something new, you don't have to worry there.
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With Kali's help, I was able to scan the spirit easily. I could also feel myself getting more used to the process, which made me hopeful that I would be able to do it on my own soon, as long as I kept using the spell. The process was disorienting but manageable, which was an encouraging change.
I had already scanned this spirit before, back when I was choosing who to awaken first, so nothing of what I saw caught me off guard, but I needed to refresh my memory to plan out a proper plan of awakening. The spirit was already leaning towards heroics due to the original owner's tendency to put others before themself, but I could feel some substantial aspects getting in the way. While I had no problem cutting down the need to kill those who threatened him and his, I felt less good about manipulating concepts of family. This was a spirit that had absorbed a particularly powerful desire to fight and sacrifice for family, and I wasn't keen on suppressing or even removing something like that.
Not only was it a bit heavy-handed and potentially unethical, but it was also a waste. The spirit in the medal would make the perfect guardian for a specific family, or a family home. I could tie the concepts of the family to a specific bloodline, and the spirit would get a significant increase in power when defending them. It would be a complete waste to just squash that concept when I could raise it up and create a significantly more powerful awakened spirit.
"I… Don't think I can use this one, guys," I admitted with a frown. "I mean I could, but I think it might be better suited for other things."
I explained the issue I had run into and explained why having a guardian for a bloodline would come in handy to Alya, who didn't have quite a complete understanding of familial bonds. Eventually, after a little discussion, I decided to put the Purple Heart back into storage, saving it for later use.
Hell, maybe one day I would tie it to my own bloodline and have it as a family bodyguard if I ever had kids or something.
Thankfully, this didn't set me back nearly as far as I was worried it would. Alya pointed out that there must be hundreds of things with spirits attached to them across the city, surely one of them would be abandoned. At first, I thought it was a bit of a stretch, but after teleporting into the city and casting the spirit-sight spell, the world lit up like a field of stars. Thousands of tiny little spirits filled the buildings, with dozens of more prominent spirits sitting among them like planets. The vast majority of both types were inside homes and apartment buildings, but as Alya, a golem, and I bounced around the city by teleport, we found several forgotten spirits. A half-rotted book left under a park bench, a pocket knife buried in sand, a bent flute rescued from a dumpster and an old beat-up flask lodged under a rock. I was a bit nervous about what kind of echoes the flask might hold, but nonetheless, I took them all back to the compound, cleaning them off with a quick spell.
"Well, Alya, I stand corrected," I said, laying out our finds on the table near the ritual platform. "I'm not sure what these will contain, but you were right about finding spirits lying around."
"What if none of them have what you're looking for?" She asked, watching over my shoulder.
"Well, I guess I'll store them away in case they might be useful later, and we can go looking again," I responded with a shrug. "If none of that batch is useful, we can call it night, and tomorrow, we can stop at the shops we spotted that had a bunch. I think antique stores and pawnshops are going to be our friends when looking for spirits."
I spent a few minutes cleaning and repairing the objects as best I could. The book was re-bound using my skills gained from arcane focus crafting, while I used metal control to very carefully bend the flute back into shape. I cleaned and washed out the flask, smoothing the surface with the same metal control spell. The pocket knife was actually in the best condition out of all of them, only requiring a bit of magic to deep clean and a bit of elbow grease to sharpen.
Once I was sure none of them would fall apart during the awakening process, I started over again, scanning each of the objects, one after the other.
The flask ended up being exactly what I expected, the property of a struggling alcoholic who eventually succumbed to the disease. Even worse, it was also carried by the owner's son for a while, adding a layer of bitterness and sadness to it. The pocket knife turned out to be an everyday carry of a dockworker, who died a while before the bay was being strangled by the shipwrecks. Despite being in good condition, it was the oldest spirit I found.
The book was a library book, filled with hundreds of flash impressions from the people who read it. That would have been less than useless, probably not even a strong enough spirit, except a homeless girl took it out and never returned it, keeping it with her and reading it dozens of times. It had been an item of safety for her, something that comforted her even when she was hungry or cold. I didn't get a name, and I probably wouldn't without awakening the spirit, but I hoped she was doing okay.
I considered turning the book into the girl's own guardian before letting it loose to find her, but unfortunately, I couldn't just send out a random totem guardian, especially since I had no idea of the girl's fate. If she was already dead, creating a totem guardian to protect her was tantamount to creating a vengeful spirit totem, who would most likely go insane and attack whoever it perceived as the girl's killer.
Out of the first three items I scanned, all three of them weren't what I was looking for. The flask would have been a disaster, and the book would have probably been an equal problem, just in a totally different direction. The pocket knife would have probably worked if I treated it right, but that's not what I was looking for. I wanted spirits that would fit into the role willingly and easily, not be hammered into place. I would keep it as a last resort, but I would likely never use it.
Surprisingly, the flute was a considerably better fit. It belonged to a woman, a college professor, who worked hard to help her students succeed and become more. I could feel the love she felt for the instrument, and for music, despite that not being what she taught. I also realized that the flute itself was not a simple, run-of-the-mill instrument but an expensive, handmade model, made with silver. The spirit within had a touch of sadness, imbued into it by the family of the professor, but I didn't get anything personal from them. Instead, the flute was more focused on how its owner was lost and couldn't play it anymore.
The spirit flowed through the desire to help and raise up, to aid those around them, especially through teaching, and music. They stood up for what was right and weren't afraid to step on their toes to have their voice heard. It wasn't perfect, but it would serve as an excellent foundation for a heroic guardian spirit. I just had to do a good job setting its aspects into a proper and aligned will.
Once I settled on using the nascent spirit inside the flute, I spent a bit figuring out the best way to solidify its foundation before I eventually awakened it. The echo within the spirit was not a fan of violence, preferring to use words and negotiations. While that was an admirable stance, I needed the spirit to be ready to throw down when necessary. I also tamped down the desire to teach, emphasizing the desire to help and protect those who couldn't defend themselves.
After several rituals to refine and solidify the spirit, I put them aside to work on the frame and golem core. For the frame, I used the metal from one of the golems, though I had to make the core from scratch, which took a couple of hours to complete. When the core was done, I shaped the golem frame into a much more human shape, though I didn't carve any features into it, leaving it like a mannequin. I then installed the core, awoke the spirit, and put them both inside the frame. Once everything was sealed up, I stepped back and activated the awakened spirit.
Unlike Smokey, who had struggled for nearly a minute to speak correctly, this spirits first words were crystal clear.
"Good evening, why have you awoken me?" They asked, their voice deep and feminine, but with a slight vibration to it that almost sounded metallic.
"Hello, my name is William Kalus," I explained, stepping closer. "I have awoken you because Brockton Bay is struggling. It is infected with gangs and in danger of collapsing, and I need help if I'm going to help and protect the innocent people living here."
"I am to fight?" the spirit asked, looking past me to Smokey and Alya. "Like a cape?"
"That's right. It's not ideal, but our options are limited," I explained with a frown. "I wish we could peacefully negotiate, but the scum running around won't back down because we ask nicely."
"I know, my owner was disheartened by the gangs," they responded. "They wished they could help, and did their best to keep her students from falling in with them."
"With your help, we can stabilize the city and take down the worst of the gangs," I explained. "We have already taken down the ABB. Now we just need to keep other gangs from expanding into the cleared space."
"Very well," the newly awoken spirit confirmed with a nod. "I will fight with you against these gangs."
"That's great," I said, reaching out to shake their hand, the golem frame reaching out to take it. "Welcome to the team. How about we start by working on your frame to get it looking how you want it. While we do that, let's talk about what's been going on, and how you feel in your new totem body."
"Very well… Do you have any clothes?" they- she asked, the vague, undetailed totem guardian shifting as she looked down at their body, moving as if to cover themselves before stopping. "I find myself leaning towards a female form, and I find the lack… disconcerting."
"Oh crap, sorry. Yes, let me-" I started to say, only to feel a tap on my shoulder. "Huh?"
I turned to find Kali standing behind me, inhabiting her golem form, holding out a stack of clothes. I took them from her, recognizing them as my own.
"Oh! Looks like Kali is ahead of me," I said, holding out for the newly awakened spirit. "These will have to do for now. We can go into town in the morning, and you can pick out something for yourself."
"Thank you."
I turned to give her some privacy, and she quickly put on the clothes, before following me to the common area, Smokey and Alya trailing behind. I introduced both of them, and Alya immediately disincorporated after she greeted the newcomer to the group. After that, I began to fill in the spirit on what had changed in Brockton Bay, as well as what we had achieved. Some of the information she knew from the echoes and memories she contained, but a lot of the details were new information. While we were doing that, I worked on turning the sort of vague human, almost mannequin-like frame into something the spirit actually liked.
The process took some time, starting with her coloration. Where Smokey had chosen a black iron and burnished brass, the newly awoken female spirit had asked for me to use copper to give her a warm, dark orange-brown coloration, highlighted with the same burnished brass. I did my best on her looks, giving her sharp features and long, almost elvish ears. Her jaw was strong, and she ended up being tall and thin. I carved her hair short, since I couldn't attach the hair to her shoulders without restricting her movement. She wasn't super happy about that, but she still seemed to like the pixie cut I gave her.
The finished look was pretty good, though I was glad I had a chance to work on Smokey first, as I had learned a lot working on his frame. I was tempted to spend my last, floating point on something like arcane sculpture or something like that, but I held myself back.
As we talked and sculpted her body, she demonstrated her ability. She could summon an ethereal flute to her hands, which glimmered silver despite being partially translucent. When she played it she could buff those around her in a variety of ways. The power of those buffs depended on how much power she fed into it, and while she was a powerful spirit now, her pool wasn't endless. Still, she could easily buff all of us with a variety of effects, including a mild healing. It was a potent ability, one that could absolutely change the tide of battle.
The PRT was going to hate that I could just whip up capes like her.
Our final conversation before I had Kali gently wake up Olivia was about the newly awakened spirits' name. We tossed around a few ideas, this time careful not to suggest anything strange lest she picked something like Smokey.
After a few minutes of brainstorming, her face cleared, and she smiled as if finding a moment of enlightenment.
"You can call me Piper."
I nodded in appreciation, reaching out to shake her hand with a smile. I could see Smokey nodding as well, Kali and Alya's approval coming in waves through our connections.
"It's a bit on the nose, but there's nothing wrong with that," I said with a smile as she shook my hand again. "Welcome to the team, Piper."
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Please read the note at the beginning!
Comments
Other
I'm curious, how does one track interest on Patreon? I get how that works on other sites, not so much here. I, for one, like this story more than the cyberpunk one, but that's mostly cause the cyber punk one is a little slow atm
David
I definitely prefer this story and The Brink over Star Wars (not that batllemage is bad, just prefer these 2). Please don't Hiatus this one!
Miguel Garcia
I think this story would readily benefit from a time skip. Possibly proceeded by a premonition of an Endbringer attack/having to prep for the Nine. In fact, why has our MC not invested in predictive spells when it is well known they don’t have a reliable Endbringer prediction yet? That alone would give him incalculable leverage when negotiating with the PRT
darkleoforever
This story is a highlight of my week hope it keeps going!
Al
Lol I don't think it gets more spoilery than that
Hello
I give this story a solid meh/10. Not great not terrible. Definitely prefer battlemage and to the brink and back
Ray
so no one has realised what robert did dropping a suttle bombshell at the end of what might be the last chapter for a bit, wont spoil but carefully read the parts about the flute
Drumic
I enjoy your stories alot, but if I had to pick one issue out it is that this story and brink both have enforced downtime. With both having periods in which the MC must focus on learning new parts of their power every X weeks it slows the story. In the SW fic the spell grinding often happens while traveling 'off-screen', I don't know if incorporating that type of thing into this story would help push it along and make it more interesting to write or if the time learning new magic is key to this story.
Apfelkuchen
Eh I am up for more chapters of brink and back but i would appreciate it more if we got like a ratio of 2 brink and back chapter to 1 worm grimoire chapter
Apfelkuchen
I would love to see it continue since the only story that is being updated by you that I don’t care about is the Star Wars one (GASP he did not say that) yes sorry but I kinda don’t care about starwars anymore, after watching the newer movies, they felt just as twisted dry of creativity as marvel story’s so I kind of ignore everything that’s Star Wars related, aside From that one forge story with a girl, that’s kinda stuck being a Sith at palpatins side or something like that (it hasn’t gotten a new chapter in months and I’m in a little sad about that).
Apfelkuchen
Well I at first didn’t like this story mostly because I at a point before didn’t like celestial grimoire stories, so ONLY forge story’s interested me. I gave it a chance when I had a week of no new forge story’s and gave it the old: "eh whatever… if I hate it then I can ignore the new chapters if I like it all the better..“ and since then have loved this story and got into the grimoire story’s more.
OdinMage
I'm enjoying the story, and hope it doesn't die. Though I'd also be fine with you taking a break if you need it (I'd hope you might come back to it at some point though). That said, how much I'd push for you to continue this would depend on what might be replacing it, if I'm honest... extra chapters of The Brink and Back would cause me to joygasm, but I doubt that's what you meant.
Michael Behrens
This is currently my favorite of the three stories your writing so I hope you dont drop it.
pooksley grim
I’m absolutely loving this story and it’s the reason I became a patron of you I’ll still keep up with you on royals road but I’m here for this story
Robert
I'm still enjoying the story
iju
I'm also interested in knowing why Assault is such a nice guy, when in the OC story he was, iirc, a jackass and a murderer. Meanwhile Battery who was an idealist, is treated pretty badly.
iju
You could have written about gang war in superhero setting, or a mage in superhero setting, without having to write a fanfiction.
iju
I like the writing and the characters. That being said, it suffers from the protagonist not really having goals other than feeding the poor and partaking in a gang war. The main reason for writing fan fiction is to access the universe/plot of the main series, yet the interaction with that is rather thin: I feel the character should either try to understand why PRT is so inefficient and corrupt, try to learn more about the history of the world, or prepare for a Titan (or what were they?) encounter. At least the star wars story (which, tbh, is why I'm enrolled to your Patreon, even though I'm reading this as well: I'm not reading the third story) got a lot better after Deacon decided to intentionally be in the tables where decisions were made, and you started involving more canon characters in the story.
It's Just Bob
Because personally I am really enjoying this story
It's Just Bob
I feel like that. If you need to take a break because you lack interest in the story yourself, that's perfectly fine. But if you feel like the story is not reaching enough people or not being enjoyed by enough people. I'm not sure that's a reason for you if you're enjoying writing the story to stop it.
Romane McLeod
I’m enjoying the story
Liam Bowman
While I have thoroughly enjoyed this story, I would definitely understand taking a break from it if it just isn’t something that is holding your attention anymore. I would love to see it continue, but do what you need to
Mr Mouse
I'm enjoying it, but if you need to take a break, or write something new, I'm sure I'll enjoy that too; The important thing is not to push yourself to burn out
Alex Collyer
I've thoroughly enjoyed this story and will continue to do so if you continue to write it, but if you are feeling burnt out on the story i will likely enjoy whatever you replace this with. thank you for all your writing.
Jamie Celtic
I enjoy this story so i hope you dont stop it ,maybe alternate chapters with this and your new story
Jon
I joined for this story so...
Urbane_Bomber
I like the story but I can understand getting exhausted with a story. I would be cool with a new story since Brink is the reason i became a patron. I wonder if there is any thought to going back to Project Bastion. Seems like you liked that story a lot.
Kyle Pemberton
I signed up for this story and brink. But both stories lately have suffered from a plot slow down. You've had a little bit too much slice of life/magic development/tech development chapters lately imo. You just need to keep the story flowing a bit more and it should be all good.
Lictor Magnus
I vote for this as well. A part of the problem for me with this story is how it feels like nothing happens each chapter. Having them be double length like brink would help that a lot.
A P
Wonder if Taylor will recognize the spirit somehow. Like maybe it has her mom's voice or it's ethereal flute is recognizable
Robert Meta
While it may not feel like it, there isn't much difference between the two since the Brink and Back chapters are significantly longer. That said, I might split the posting schedule in half and post it and a new story once a week, rather than twice
no-thoughts-only-vibes
I like the story. Your take on magic is a lot more interesting then most i read.
Age Rich
Switch your posting schedule for brink and this story. Let it take a back seat and give yourself more time to flesh out your ideas for the world
Andrew Bernard
I like the story a lot, the pacing feels a little slow
Coes
I like this story and it is the reason I subscribe, but I feel like the story is going a little stale. Alot of crafting and feels but it feels like there is less reaction. I think there needs to be a prt pov at some point. Or something to give the readers perspective
sleepydragan
While I really enjoy the crafting aspect of this story, it feels like it makes the world building and interactions between the characters take a back seat. i honestly have enjoyed it so far though. I wouldn't be heart broken if you took a break with it but I would miss it in it's absence.
Trevor Perry
I joined the channel for battle mage. And enjoy brink. This is third place, but still enjoyable. I'll miss it, but I'm used to fics ending abruptly. I was really looking forward to him wrecking a world ender though... Maybe do a big time skip?
Pearl of the Orient
I joined the channel for this story and Brink. I enjoy this more than the other Metal. While I understand, I hope you continue this story or at least give it a good send-off.
C Dos
I have been rather enjoying this story but can understand why others might not. Maybe provide some wider perspective from time to time with other characters pov in interludes or something to help change things up?
Proto
I personally hope you keep this story going, I enjoy the systematic magic that comes into place here and I feel like you explore it in a technically minded way, which is cool to see. Most 'wizard in worm' stories I've seen have used the celestial grimoire, which lends itself to ridiculous escalation by nature of its randomness, so I've enjoyed how thought out Arcanum's power growth has been.
High Simp of Mephala
This story is the main reason I am a patron, I do also read the star wars one but that’s mainly because it’s there to read rather than me specifically staying around to read it
Robert Meta
At this point, I am most considering this option
Gronnr
While Brink and Battlemage are what I look forward to more, I like this even more than Mettle, Metal, Meddled and that got me to join your Patreon so I have to say I hope you continue it, even if that requires a pause for a little bit
Ruben v.D.
First of I normally never comment but I hope you continue this story. For me it feels like the chapters for this story are shorter than your other stories(no clue if true or not). But I always wait a bit and read them in bulk.
A Stewart
I don't normally post comments often, but I due truly hope you continue to work on the story. I originally found it on fanfiction.net, and when I learned that you had more chapters yet to be released on Patreon I had to subscribe.
Alex I
Maybe switch it to a slower schedule, like once a week or every other week or such. I still like the story and would prefer slow progress over no progress.
Nicklas Falck Jensen
I quite like this story, but I've been on a worm binge, so that might explain it
tizian.s
This is my personal favorite of your stories, so I hope you keep writing this.
Faelyn Kitsune
I have been enjoying this. It is a good feature and has a great premise. I also like the slower pacing which might be throwing folks off. Thanks for another good read and hope I can continue for a long time.
David Green
I understand feeling that the story is plateauing in Brockton Bay, but there's still things like the Endbringers and slaughterhouse to provide strong opposition and story motivation
Adam Daw
I hope you keep this up. The flute was a surprise, if it's the flute I'm thinking of. Lots of potential scenes there!
Cole Deucalion
I've been keeping up with the story, but I'm more excited to read the other two stories. Sort of feels like you haven't found the tension or conflict in this one yet. If you're not sure if you want to stop writing this, maybe bring some more conflict in? Whereas battle mage has Vader and a whole empire to fight, hoping to see more space ship battles over there. You've had some great ship to ship combat and small squad battles that are fun. Brink and back so far feels more like a redemption for the cyberpunk 2077 universe. I've spent real life weeks playing that game. And I'm all about that verse getting uplifted. Hope these comments are ok. I don't normally share my opinions in such details as I mostly just prefer to trust the author
