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Crazy Alternate Future Part 01-01

🕑 Added 2015-06-12 02:36:01 +0000 UTC
Crazy Alternate Future Part 01-01

Comments

Raile21

Yeah, but the link I have put everything in one convenient location.

Raile21

Yes, that would work. Its more like a personal preference really. I'd say it would be safer without it, but there might be more fans with it. Up to you really, why not draft both version and see which one you like best.

Vavacung

And that comic. I know it. I watched it on DA. <a href="http://shepherd0821.deviantart.com/art/Episode-0-First-Day-in-Ponyville-page1-355346237" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://shepherd0821.deviantart.com/art/Episode-0-First-Day-in-Ponyville-page1-355346237</a>

Vavacung

Censor tag may add for free watcher when it finish and public outside Patreons. And I'm not fan with crotch boobs at the moment...

Vavacung

I know. I already expected it. And thank you for help.

Raile21

Oh not bad, your reference have "crotch boobs" on them so that's a plus. In my opinion my reference have a better facial expression though, so if you can combine their strong points I think that would be an amazing doujin. Here's another reference for you but it can't really be considered explicit. <a href="http://m.hentai2read.com/mlp_4koma/" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://m.hentai2read.com/mlp_4koma/</a> Would you add a censor tag on your work?

Vavacung

Actually. I use this as reference. <a href="http://g.e-hentai.org/g/689867/b9d6812215/" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://g.e-hentai.org/g/689867/b9d6812215/</a>

Raile21

For your reference, an example of what you are trying to make: <a href="http://m.hentai2read.com/rainbow_green_apple/1/" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://m.hentai2read.com/rainbow_green_apple/1/</a>

Raile21

I think you better get used to getting very few feedback in Patreon, since there's like 22 of us and thousands in Deviant to give feedback. But I will try to give feedback whenever possible in Patreon since I already do that in Deviantart. I have confidence in my english, I will help you if Dracoblair is squeamish with NSFW. Grammar-wise your dialog is correct. However there are better dialog to suit each character personality and speech. Here is my suggestion for this chapter. Ace: "Hey egghead! Owly said you needed my help?" Dawn: "Ah good you're here Ace, I wish to test this potion. Please drink what's in this vial"


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