citationpod patreon

My Immortal Chapters 29-34

🕑 Added 2025-01-30 23:42:48 +0000 UTC

Comments

Thayne Warner

J.nnnbb.bjhn. Bn. N hi.nhnnnhn to b. B be. B 5nvbhbvggbbgynhnb jh n. N nnnnjj b be nh vb. Bn. Nnhbbbj. B my jjjj.j.jjnnj.nn. .j. .b. .!.:n.n.n.nnnnj nv bb. N. Y. Bbbb gf h. Nhy5. My hhhnhn. B. Y g v7 kkko...nnnmkkkk.k...ml...mk.kkmmmk.j.jjj.jmmmmmmmmk......km.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmknjk.imokimk.bnjjk.jj.j.kk.k...k.k..n nnnmjkkkk.k.kk..mmmk....k.mj.n. .kmk..on.kn knk.kmkmomkm.k.kk..k,kk..nnnnnnnk.j.mkmkm.m.m...mjkmjh.km..mm.... m mmmmmmmkmmmj.....hj..jjk. K..kmk.k.. bb ok...o Oki jj jjk. ,:⁠-⁠$

Jasamnajbolja

"Professor Slutborn" has killed me. Im relistening to all of these in order and im in tears

Claire Nollet

Every time I hear one of these MI episodes, I'm convinced I'm having a stroke in my receptive speech centers of my brain.

Timothy Thayer

Eew don't congratulate me, Tom

Fren

Heath flipping his hair sexily must be a sight to behold

JustMeDrB

you know, I really can’t be arsed to look, but could somebody tell me how many more chapters there are in this book? Fangs.

siabra

Listened to the whole thing again and I think she's gonna be my next dnd character. I look forward to seeing how long it takes before either the dm or the other players kill her.

Maggie

I speak for everyone when I say this is exactly what we needed today

Diego Guzmán

This... shit... is... amazinggggg

Lemon Stealing Horse

Yes. I need a mega cut of all this to listen to when times get dark. You know, like a second trump presidency.

Nature_Shover

Consider this please https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masonic_ritual_and_symbolism

Jay Voigt

ChatGPT 4.0 ftw Here's a short section of fake lore about the Citation Needed guys, written in the style of My Immortal: CHAPTER 666: THE DARK PROPHECY OF CITATION NEEDED I woke up in my coffin (cuz I’m a vampyre) and put on my black leather trenchcoat with blood-red lining. My combat boots clunked as I stepped out into the dark, stormy night. Thunder roared like an angry demon. "Tonight… I must seek the ones who know… the Dark Lore." I walked down the long, black hallway of my Gothic castle (which is in the middle of a dark forest, don’t question it) until I reached the Forbidden Podcast Chamber. Inside, there sat the Four Elders of Citation Needed—their faces cloaked in shadows. Eli Bosnick, the Master of Sarcasm, raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Ah, Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way… we have been expecting u.” Noah Lugeons, the Prophet of Skepticism, sipped his blood-red Monster energy drink and scowled. “The prophecy foretold that one would come… with a THICC black trenchcoat… and disturbingly specific eyeliner.” “Oh my Satan!” I gasped, flipping my middle finger at them sexily. “What prophecy??” Heath Enwright, the Dark Jester, let out an evil chuckle and tossed a black leather-bound book onto the obsidian table. “The Dark Lore of Wikipedia,” he whispered, “it has… the citations…” My pale skin turned even paler. “U MEAN… THE TRUTH??” Suddenly, the room was filled with fire and darkness. A shadowy figure emerged from the flames. It was DUMBLEDORE!!! But he was EVIL now and also shirtless for some reason. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU MOTHERF***ERS?!!” he shouted, summoning a black fireball in his hands. Eli stood up dramatically, his trenchcoat billowing despite the fact that we were indoors. “There is no time… we must fight.” Noah cracked his knuckles. Heath flipped his hair sexily. And behind them, Thomas Smith, the Wise One, simply sighed and muttered, “Oh for f***’s sake.” TO BE CONTINUED…??? PS - ChatGPT knows some of your names lol

Adam Martin

Shouldn’t have eaten all that pork.

Adam Martin

I got choked in the kitchen from laughing so hard

Julie LaVoice

This stuff is so hilarious, I woke my spouse up giggling while listening in bed!

Jared Harris

I’ve been waiting patiently.

devdevsdev

Kawaii means “cute” in Japanese and has become a popular term in America.

Laura Kelly

This made my day!

siabra

Omg I'm excited. Can we get a chonk of this with the other episodes please?

Jay Voigt

Alright, I can die happy after the surprise appearance of drunk, pregnant Boston lady.

Jay Voigt

I still don't understand what "kuwai" means.

Bunny Bismuth, Bun-Bun of Seething

Sorry, I don't pick on people like this.

Nature_Shover

A modern day Shakespeare

Jay Voigt

Fangs

Jay Voigt

Haha, I just downloaded all the other episodes too

Jay Voigt

You need to start at the beginning

Jay Voigt

OH MY FUCKING GAWWWWWD!!!! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Shannon Klakowicz

Remind me. Who wrote this hilarious piece of narrative trash?

Hogboblin

Heath's cheerful bog witch "HELLOooo" made me painfully aroused.

Joshua Fryvecind

I wet myself a little when I saw this!

Danica

I really hope this series never ends! You guys once floated the idea of feeding this into ChatGPT to write new chapters after you run out - please make that dream a reality!!

PeterinKorea

I am wondering whether this will ever not be funny anymore.

Fren

I'm more confused than I've ever been.

Marie Smith

Thank you. I really needed to laugh.

Rob Geiger

I'm so disappointed in myself that I was EXCITED to see this posted! Or, more accurately, my wife will be disappointed...

Laura Lusby

YAYYYYYY **starts the whole thing alllll the way over again**

Godzilla Jesus

I'm so happy

Ira Coman

What glorious fortune! Thank you, exactly what I needed.

Matthew Herr

Yes! We needed this

Never stop asking if Rappaport hung that painting

It's a weird place to be in when you're both sobbing with hysterical laughter and doing a full body cringe remembering things you may or may not have done...