Deepfocuslens
patreon
2020 End of the Year Rant
🕑 Added 2020-12-09 21:49:39 +0000 UTCSo, here we are. Christmas time. Admittedly I tend to be the kind of person who isn't really into holiday tradition and typical festivities. I never could figure out why. I've always dragged my feet through the schmaltz while also milking the time off from work, school, etc. for what it's worth. I suppose if I had to pinpoint a cause, it's because I have always had trouble with authority of any sort. And a holiday telling me I should wrap presents for my loved ones in front of a tree, or a holiday telling me I should grill hot dogs and watch fireworks rather than doing so on my own terms is something I naturally resist. I certainly still celebrate with family and friends, but I tend to prefer things to happen organically most of the time. In most areas of life. But, this year I honestly am thankful for so many things in a way that feels unusual for me.
I truly feel lucky even if things have been rough for everyone to varying degrees. I am so sick of people blaming 2020 as a cursed year. If a problem occurs, let's blame it on 2020 amirite? Ugh. No, 2020 is not to blame. A year from now, two years from now, you will miss a lot of things about 2020. Based on the way things are going, I do not see things looking up in the near future. The civil unrest, the amount of lost jobs, evictions, desperation. The aftermath of so much that has occurred will be rough in ways I think few are prepared for. So please, spare us the 2020 negativity and perhaps try to find ways of looking at it in a different way. If anything I think 2020 has given us all the gift of learning to appreciate what we have, because it can all be gone at any point.
For me financially, 2020 has taken a huge toll. I started the year waiting tables at a Korean karaoke bar that was sketchy as fuck, but scrappy, and refreshing to finally do good honest work that had somehow eluded me thus far in terms of my adult jobs. But then came the pandemic, and that was the end of that job. I spent a lot of time weighing my options and figuring out what to do next to earn some sort of steady income. However during this period of uncertainty, I chose to work towards a better version of me. If I have no control over the outside world, I can at least use this time to do the things I've always wanted to do for self-fulfillment and self-improvement. I got in even better physical shape, I started my website, began my art business, I really focused more on growing the youtube channel, and of course I added Patreon. These were all things that at the beginning of the year, I was extremely reluctant to pursue. But here I am at the end of the year, accomplishing all the things I had been putting off for years. Who knew that in the same year I would begin my art business, but also file for unemployment? XD Who knew that this year I'd go through yet another romantic breakup and yet for the first time ever, I did not spiral into self-destructive behavior because of it? The pain of loss and the need to survive can light a fire under your ass and bring out instincts in you that you didn't know you had. So for that I am grateful. I am grateful that I finally found the confidence to start making something of Youtube, and of my talents more than ever before. And I have to thank all of you for making it possible.
One of the main reasons I never joined patreon was because I never thought anyone would contribute. I never began an art business because I didn't think anyone would be interested in what I produce. Of course a lot of that still remains to be seen, but as far as patreon goes, you guys have been amazing. You have given me confidence to keep striving no matter how bad the world gets or personal circumstances can get. Because why not? Who cares? Just live your fucking life and live it in the way that makes you happy for as long as you can. There will be great periods. There will be terrible periods. But accept it all as part of this beautiful dark twisted thing called consciousness. And if you have nothing at all to show for it, there is still beauty in that pain.
So really, I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for your support, your contributions, your kindness. Through patreon I've learned a lot of you all by name and it is nice to connect beyond Youtube, which feels far less intimate as a platform. I hope that no matter what has gone on in your life this year, whether you lost a job, lost loved ones to covid-19, lost your homes, whatever the case, that you have somehow found inner peace and freedom of thought while laying in the debris. I hope it has made you better, stronger, a survivor, and a tough badass bitch. I am so glad to still be alive, when there were many times in the past where I have tested those boundaries. I am so glad to have you all here with me celebrating art and passion. I hope to continue to do more and more in the future with your suggestions, participation, questions, and generosity. So again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I try not to be too sentimental but...can't help it right now. Hahaha . Merry Christmas and here's to getting high and letting go of the material world. Love you.
DFL
Comments
Deepfocuslens
You have been there for me more than almost anyone. You are proof that wonderful, kind, curious, people still exist in this world. Love always. :)
Harman Adi
Yay! I'm so happy for you. :))) You are right that every year has their own negatives and positives. But it makes me so happy to see how you built up your channel and art. I have always believed in you. You know how I feel about your art. So I know you understand my perspective. But yeah, as I have said before, I have all the hope that your fans and this support is only going to grow from here. I'm glad to see in this phase of your life. You have been through a lot but yet you never gave up. You have always been one of my favorites, and a great friend. So yeah, always here for your support. I wish you all the happiness and success. :) <3
jared Clarke
Your a gem never change lol
Tony Moro
Love ya lots Maggie! We are very grateful for you! ❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Deepfocuslens
All of you are moving my heart by your responses! <3333
Tony Moro
Your videos, your thoughts, you speaking has been a blessing every time!! Always love hearing you talk because your beautiful and intelligent and insightful!
Tony Moro
Mind if I enlighten you and inform you what’s ACTUALLY been Going in this year and why we are in this “pandemic”? It’s been years in the making. The “virus” didn’t happen out of thin air.
Wolfman Brandon
This year was nothing compared to 2017 when my grandparents died and I was in the most dismal and terrifying state mentally I've ever been in. At least my crappy kitchen job I was able to leave and knew what I had to do to get better quickly but losing the two closest people in the world to me within a few months of each other, I was never more lost. Also, I've had my heart broken several times but in the "I'd like to be with her but she's not into me" type. Discovering you was essential in my recovery especially your Message From the Heart video which was so raw and honest. If only more girls where I'm from were more like you, I wouldn't have come to the realization that the single life is better for me mentally. I'll admit, I did have feelings for you at times before turning to the single lifestyle because of our similar life experiences and the intelligence and maturity we've both gained from them. I'd think I was like Meg Ryan in Sleepless in Seattle without Bill Pullman. I've never known any young lady quite like you and I'm thankful for that. You've made this awkward, 27 year old autistic loon feel like he belongs somewhere. Happy Holidays.
Oskitello
What a moving words. I don't know what to say... Agree with the comment section. You're really something, Maggie. An inspiration. Keep being yourself. It's a pleasure to be your patron. Love you too. Merry Christmas.
Ryan
You underestimate yourself and the impact you have on others Maggers. You are greatly appreciated by many. You are extremely talented and intelligent and will do well. I understand what it's like to resort to self-destructive behavior when you become consumed by despair. You're on the right path and you're doing quite well, keep up the great work. Merry Christmas.
Deepfocuslens
Awww. Thank you. That means a whole lot. Yes, I remember that video. I'm glad to be in a much different place now. But glad that I could at least make some small impact during a difficult time of my life. <3
Deepfocuslens
Delighted to have you. I'm so glad it's been a great place for you. Thank you for your kind words. :)
David Martino
Thank you for allowing us to support you through Patreon. I am sure it was difficult to take this step along with the webpage, but I think you’ll find out that there are plenty of people out there who appreciate your talents. While I truly appreciate your reviews, the Message from the Heart video remains one of the most moving and impactful videos that I have seen on the internet. I’ve re-watched it during this pandemic and continue to find comfort in it even though we have very different life experiences. I couldn’t help but think of that video when I read your post. If I may say so, I think you’re making a lot of progress in this existential quest through life. Merry Christmas.
Stephen
I second all of this.
Tyler Shobe
I'm honestly really appreciative you started this Patreon cause I feel like we have a really kind, respectful and fun little film community of sorts here. Talking with you and everyone else about movies every week is honestly a highlight of my week. None of my friends like talking or even thinking about movies the way the people on this Patreon do. Gathering as like minded people sharing our thoughts on movies (and plenty of other things) is something I value far more than my monthly Patreon contribution. I hope we're able to keep this train going for a good while cause it's a ton of fun and I love the connection with y'all.
