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Ring Toss - 21

🕑 Added 2021-05-17 20:00:03 +0000 UTC

Comments

Neal Johnstone

Definitely an interesting read of the situation. Thanks for the heads up on the and and. Good luck with the DM thing.

Neal Johnstone

Thanks, I hope when the next two chapters come out you'll see more significance in the setup here. The plans look good, now to stick the landing!

Nick Cartwright

Real meh...chapter. For a late story chapter nothing very significant happened until the very end. Just pat self righteous talking about how it’s the right thing and everyone else telling him to leave well enough alone. I guess it’s a calm before the storm chapter. Well it does seem the storm front will be landing next chapter. This installment was a little boring and disappointing but I think the home stretch should be good.

"she said, rolling on her back and and patting down the comforter." Noticed the ands doubled up here. Got a D&D campaign to DM, so I've not really got time to make all the little corrections I used to do, but I just happened to notice it. Good chapter; it seems that as the story's gone on, Maurice and Pat have totally flipped roles. First chapter, Pat was acting childish and Maurice was being a bro, then Maurice was understandably upset by the whole wife swap and Pat was trying to figure out how to support him, and finally it got to the point where, even if the reason he's upset is understandable, his behaviour is just as immature as Pat's was at the beginning and Pat's actually handling all of it shockingly well.