NealJohnstone
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Voting 3 - The Draft
🕑 Added 2021-07-12 23:09:41 +0000 UTCHi, this is the next installment of this round of Voting. We will be voting from August 1st to 14th.
I had this one loaded up for a while but I disliked it until I replaced the instigator of the story with a lesbian rather than a fourth horny boy.
The Draft:
Five nerds with a magic spellbook capture the varsity cheerleading team and divide them up for their own amusement, but what if they picked wrong? Will their friends trade for a used cheerleader? And why should they have to trade at all? And did they read all of the fine print on the spell they cast?
The story takes place over a weekend where the four mages really go crazy with their selection of the squad. Conflict will be intraharem and intermage, with a little bit of outside shenanigans.
I'll admit, I'm less confident in this one because of all of the names in chapter 1. Therefore, the plans for chapters 2 through 5 are to focus on each master's first adventure with his harem and get to know the characters in each one.
If you haven't read the other voters, you can do so here:
A Hill of Beans
1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EniBJOojgt7Z0t-Bc0zRWkhdA2lhYQnpv6x6AZW37Wk/edit?usp=sharing
2: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CXwaM5gULsrCM5YXmnfQGWL4dNNbrSm4egdoZMZYXyI/edit?usp=sharing
Kitty's Cookies: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CXwaM5gULsrCM5YXmnfQGWL4dNNbrSm4egdoZMZYXyI/edit?usp=sharing
The Draft - Inverted Story Version:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1x2EjapsWRSEfZy63rAjjPrQPml0g_O0eZYR52OBLWjs/edit?usp=sharing
Comments
Neal Johnstone
The title for this one changed a dozen times over writing it, not married to The Draft, but if it wins, I think I'm now required to included camouflage bikini soldiers. Anthony would do that. To name it The Draft, start with the fantasy draft? And then tell the first bit of the story? I'm not opposed. It might work better. Literally jump from Glenn asking who gives the best head to the first scene. It would also start with the girl's descriptions. One sec, I'll cut and rearrange the file, give it a quick edit and then upload it to see if it flies better. Thanks so much!
I must say: When i read "The Draft" my head was immediatly filled with pictures of hot soldiers in camouflage-bikinis :D Perhaps a solution to the name-issue in the first chapter would be to start with narrative split between two "time-lines". One in the present, introducing lets say the first harem in the first half of the chapter and then, a second part that is set in the past, explaining how we ended up here.
