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The Big Oof! Volume 2 Chapter 56: Bro's Skewers
🕑 Added 2023-08-17 19:30:28 +0000 UTCThe sun was high in the sky and the streets were full of people as Elijah and Bennett dragged Auri around the city.
“Why am I here again?" Auri grumbled, struggling to keep up with the two men's brisk pace. Her eyes nervously darted around the bustling city, taking in the sights and sounds with a mix of curiosity and annoyance.
"Because you can read," Bennett replied, not slowing his pace. "And I want to find a magic shop.”
Auri knitted her eyebrows as she squeezed between the two humans. “Okay… But do you need a magic shop?" she asked, her voice filled with confusion. "And why do I have to come with you?"
Her gaze then fell upon Elijah who simply shrugged and gave her a lopsided grin. “Don’t look at me, I just wanted to explore.” He said with a derisive chuckle. “Plus, do you really want to be cooped up with Yana and Aze? I mean truly ask yourself, is that something you want to do?”
Auri's eyes widened slightly at the mention of Azeline and that infernal, demented Vanir. She quickly shook her head, her red hair bouncing with the motion. "No. No, definitely not," she replied, her voice filled with a hint of dread. "I’ve already been caught once with their… their bickering, and I won’t be caught again!"
Hearing a tone of disdain, Bennett clapped his hands together, causing a few Beastkin in his way to jump to the side. "Then it's settled," The Engineer chimed in, his eyes lighting up as he spotted signs hanging out in front of several small buildings. "You’re with us then." He gestured for Auri and Elijah to follow him as he made his way towards the shopping district.
Elijah sucked in a deep breath before letting out an exhausted sigh as he looked over at Auri. “Welp… looks like we’re in for a long day," he said, a resigned smile on his face. "Let's just get it over with, ya?"
With a slight nod of defeat, Auri reluctantly followed the two men into the grand plaza. The district was a spectacle of affluence and subtle magic, a stark contrast to the more common area of the city where they just left. The cobblestone streets were clean and well-maintained, lined with ornate buildings of polished stone and wood. The storefronts were adorned with shimmering signs, some of which loftily floated in the air or glowed with a soft, golden light.
Street vendors flanked them on both sides dressed in fine clothing while hawking their wares from elaborate stalls filled with high-quality goods. They danced and sang the praises of their fine silks, delicious spices and intricate trinkets to the wealthy shoppers that were dressed in the latest fashions. Each one of them looked down on the vendors as the two parties haggled over prices with a friendly banter that spoke of a community that was used to such interactions.
Auri felt her nervousness peak at the sight of such wealthy individuals traveling about while she walked around in more modest attire. Occasionally, she and the group received condescending stares of disdain from the more affluent patrons of the plaza. Their eyes seemed to scrutinize their every move, their noses turned up at their less-than-luxurious garments.
Subconsciously, Auri found herself gravitating towards Elijah, subtly leaning against him for reassurance. His tall, proud posture and purposeful stride offered a sense of comfort amidst the sea of judgmental gazes. His presence was like a sturdy beacon in the bustling plaza, and Auri couldn't help but draw strength from it.
Elijah, noticing her slight shift, glanced down at her with a small, understanding smile. He subtly adjusted his pace to match hers and made sure the flighty woman didn't feel rushed or overwhelmed. “Don’t worry about how these losers look at you,” he said, his voice low and comforting. "They're not worth your time or energy. Just focus on us and what we're doing. We’re here to have fun and what some trust fund baby thinks of us is the least of our worries." He then turned his attention back to Bennett, who was eagerly leading the way towards the tantalizing aroma of roasting meats and spices.
Even though she couldn’t understand what the name meant by ‘trust fund baby’, Auri understood the essence of what he was saying as her cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. In a huff, the woman closed her eyes and gently turned her face away from Elijah in an effort to control her rapidly increasing heart rate. She couldn’t help but be taken by the flow of things by this insufferable man. He just simply knew what to say or do at every turn and it made her feel a strange sense of annoyance.
But more so at herself than him.
If she was a lesser woman, Auri would have swooned for the obvious womanizer and threw herself at him.
But she wasn't, and she wouldn't.
Yet, she couldn't deny the fluttering in her stomach, the warmth spreading through her at his proximity. It was a feeling she hadn't experienced in a long time, and it was both exhilarating and terrifying.
Meanwhile, Bennett had his own infectious confidence as he casually disregarded the judgmental stares led them towards a rather peculiar and crowded stall that was tucked away in a corner of the plaza. The gentlemen and ladies surrounding the stall seemed to be buzzing with gossip as they held a small, but juicy piece of meat wrapped in their handkerchiefs, taking small bites and savoring the flavors.
“This is the most interesting magic shop I’ve ever seen.” Elijah sarcastically commented as he looked at the stall, his gaze lingering on the patrons who gave him a small look of trepidation before continuing to devour their treat.
Quickly getting into line, Bennett looked over his shoulder with an annoyed look and motioned to quickly fall in behind him. “Are you telling me you don’t want any? Because you can fuck off if you don’t want any.” He retorted as he pointedly ignored the scandalized gasps from the more refined patrons in line. “Just gimme your wallet.”
Elijah rolled his eyes but obediently fell in line behind Bennett. "Hah! You’re not getting shit!” He shot back in between his chuckles.
“Then shut up and get in line!” Bennett retorted, his voice filled with feigned annoyance. "You make it sound like you don’t want to try what ever the fuck this is."
Auri, who had been quietly observing their banter, couldn't help but let out a small laugh at their antics. Despite being relatively new to the group, she found herself feeling surprisingly at ease in their company. Her earlier tension seemed to melt away as the two men continued to hurl creative insults at each other, some more esoteric and strange than malicious.
Their antics seemed to make time fly by because soon, the long line dispersed and they found themselves standing in front of a group of very dark skinned and long eared Aethari covered in grease and seasoning. “Y’ALL TIRED OF GETTIN’ THAT MEAT OFF THE STREET? WHERE THEY GIVE YOU MORE BONE THAN THEY GIVE YA’ MEAT!?!” The salesman shouted out in a strange accent. “THEN WELCOME TO BRO’S SKEWERS! TASTES SO GOOD, MAKES YA WANNA SLAP YO’ MAMA!”
The man then turned to his partner that was cooking and shouted again. “AIN’T THAT RIGHT WUDDY?”
“Ye, boy! Hey mama!” The cook shouted and turned towards a woman that had a terrified look on her face.
SMACK
A shrill yelp echoed through the plaza as the cook slapped the woman in the face, causing her to collapse, dropping wooden skewers all over the ground. The crowd soon erupted into laughter at the strange scene while Elijah and Bennett stood there gobsmacked at the absurdity of the situation.
"Did he just...?" Elijah started, his voice trailing off as he stared at the spectacle in front of him.
"Yep," Bennett replied, his eyes twitching with disbelief. "Yep, he sure did."
The salesman, noticing their stunned expressions, let out a hearty laugh. "Don't worry, folks," he reassured them, his voice booming over the laughter of the crowd. "It's all part of the show! Mama's a tough one, she can take it!" He said, looking at the woman struggling to get up.
“What was it about Cultural Convergence again?” Bennett said, looking over to Elijah. “Maybe we should update it so it’s interdimensional.”
Elijah shook his head trying to dispel the stupefaction from his mind. "I think we'd need an entirely new theory for that," he replied, his voice filled with amusement. "Interdimensional Cultural Convergence... Ain’t that some shit…"
"Alright, what can we get you fine folks today?" the salesman asked, turning his attention back to them. His eyes twinkled with mirth as he gestured towards the array of skewers sizzling on the grill. "We've got everything from spicy dragon meat to sweet fairy fruit. Or if you're feeling adventurous, you could try our special 'Mystery Skewer'. Guaranteed to give you a taste of something you've never had before!"
Bennett and Elijah exchanged a glance before turning back to the salesman. "We'll take seven orders of everything" Bennett declared, motioning Elijah to pay. "Three for here and the other four are to be wrapped up for later."
“Ohhh! Big spenders! Got it, comin’ right up!” The salesman exclaimed, his eyes lighting up at the large order. He quickly got to work, wrapping up skewers in parchment paper and handing them over to a young boy who scurried off to prepare the take-away orders.
Meanwhile, the cook was busily retrieving fresh skewers from a large bucket filled with a dark, tangy marinade. He placed them onto the grill, causing flames to dance between the metal rods. As he sprinkled a mixture of salt and an orange, granular substance over the sizzling meat, the enticing aroma filled the air, sparking a renewed wave of anticipation among the eager customers.
Elijah pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head as he reached into his pouch and handed over a couple of silver coins. "Keep the change," he said, earning a grateful nod from the man.
“A gentleman! No, a lord!” The salesman continued, his eyes lighting up as he placed the coins into an iron box. "We appreciate your generosity, sir!" He then turned to his partner, shouting over the sizzle of the grill. "Wuddy, we've got a lord here! Make sure their food is perfect!"
Meanwhile, Auri was trying to stifle her laughter as she watched the scene unfold. The day was turning out to be far more entertaining than she had anticipated.
With the food done, the stalls workers simultaneously bowed as they handed over the skewers and the wrapped packages. "Enjoy your meal, my lords, and my lady!" the salesman said, his voice filled with genuine warmth and gratitude. “You have found an impeccable Lover that you should never let go!” The salesman finished with a wink before turning to the next customer, repeating their skit all over again.
As the crew moved away from the stall, everyone except Auri looked at each other and let out a befuddled laugh while they looked for a nearby bench to sit and enjoy their meal.
“L-lover?” The poor redhead quietly mumbled to herself, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of red. However, the woman quickly shook her head, trying to dispel the thought. She wasn’t here nor did she want to get involved in any romantic entanglements. Especially with a man that had such… unstable and dubious ties to not only the Inquisition, but the Demi-god Salvanius himself.
However, as she glanced at Elijah, who was now busy devouring his skewer, she couldn't help but feel strange. For once in a very long time she was having… FUN. Heaving a weary sigh, Auri decided that this was a problem for later and took a bite of her own treat.
“By the gods…” The woman murmured as a myriad of complex flavors spread throughout her mouth. The spices were perfectly balanced in every way and It was, without a doubt, some of the best food she had ever tasted.
Seeing her reaction, Elijah couldn't help but agree with a deep nod. "Man… Yana and Aze are gonna to LOVE this shit," he said as his eyes sparkled.
“Ya, maybe that damned fairy will stop asking for the beef jerky that you gave her like a dumbass.” Bennett replied with a hint of resentment. “You know we only have THAT bag and that’s it. We can’t get anymore. EVER.”
Elijah shrugged as he took a bite out of his skewer. "Well, I did promise her I’d give her something." he defended himself. "Besides, I didn't think she'd like it that much. At least I didn’t give her the chocolate or any other candy."
Bennett rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else. Instead, he focused on finishing his own food, savoring the complex flavors that danced on his tongue. As he chewed, he couldn't help but notice a very distinct yet familiar taste that reminded him of a style of cooking that was famous back on Earth.
“Eli… doesn’t this remind you of…” Bennett droned on trying to find the right words as he looked at Elijah.
Silence reigned as Elijah finished polishing off his own skewer, paused and gave Bennett an understanding look. “It’s Cajun," he said, his voice filled with surprise. "This tastes just like something you’d find in a hole in the wall somewhere in New Orleans."
With a quick motion, Bennett snapped his fingers and pointed at Elijah. “YES!” He practically yelled, causing a few nearby patrons to glance their way. "That's exactly what it is! God damn this is good… It almost brings tears to my eyes."
Elijah stared up at the sky before nodding in agreement as he took another bite. “Bro, I know. I thought we’d spend our life here eating nothing but bland garbage and lightly seasoned rubber-like meat. This… This changes EVERYTHING!”
Auri stared at the two humans in bewilderment as they shared a strange, sentimental moment over their food. She couldn't quite understand their excitement and while she admitted the food was indeed delicious in comparison to what she would usually eat, it wasn’t to the point where it would move her. She couldn’t help but muse that perhaps it was a peculiar cultural thing and they were basking in nostalgia.
With a slight nod, Auri decided to let them have their moment. After all, she had her own memories and experiences that she cherished, and it would be unfair to criticize theirs. As they finished their meal, the trio packed up the remaining food and stood up to continue their exploration of the Plaza.
Bennett looked around with a searching gaze, his eyes scanning the various signs hanging just in front of their shops and the loitering patrons around them. "Alright," he said, his voice filled with determination. "Let's do this." The Engineer then marched through the crowd towards a peculiar store with a wand and staff engraved on its wooden signboard.
“Can I at least digest first…” Elijah grumbled before he looked towards Auri and motioned with his head for her to follow. “I guess we should just get this over with, ya?” He said with an indignant huff.
Still trying to process the odd series of events, Auri simply gave Elijah a nod and trotted to catch up. However, when she got to his side, Auri finally noticed how thick the crowd was around this side of the plaza and found herself having to constantly push past people in order to keep pace. The bustling crowd, coupled with an unfamiliar environment, seemed to overwhelm the poor woman, causing her to subconsciously move closer to Elijah.
Elijah, noticing her discomfort after feeling her press against his side, subtly wrapped his arm around her shoulder to shield her from the jostling crowd. "Just stick close to me," he said in a reassuring voice.
Auri looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise and a hint of fluster. Even though she was caught off guard by the intimate gesture, she ultimately didn't pull away from his protective hold. Instead, she gave him a small nod and leaned into the embrace, appreciating the warmth and security it provided amidst the bustling crowd. She couldn't help but feel a strange sense of ease and relief wash over her, a rare feeling that she hadn’t experienced in quite some time..
As they navigated through the crowd, Auri found herself becoming more and more comfortable with Elijah's presence. His steady pace and the firm grip around her shoulder provided a sense of stability that she hadn't realized she needed. Despite the chaos around them, she felt safe and protected, and for the first time since they arrived at the plaza, she found herself genuinely enjoying the experience.
Bennett would usually point something out and start rambling off in some indecipherable manner, but Elijah would always find a way to somehow include her into the conversation. Always making jokes simple enough for her to understand or ask her for her opinion after translating whatever weird technical jargon Bennett would use.
It was these very minor gestures… The shared laughter, the warmth of Elijah's arm around her, the seemingly pointless, but interesting conversations. They all contributed to making her anxiety and apprehension just evaporate into thin air, even though they were surrounded by the upper class. It was a strange, but not an unwelcome sensation.
"Maybe..." Auri found herself whispering, her gaze drifted up to Elijah's before it landed on the animated Bennett. She didn't finish her sentence, but the soft smile on her face spoke volumes. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Maybe she could find a place here, among these strange and chaotic individuals.
“Look, I’m just sayin’.” Bennett said, walking backwards as he faced Elijah. “From what I’m understanding about this shit, I could potentially make something go BOOM!” The Engineer’s arms flung wide open to emphasize his point, nearly knocking over a passing pedestrian. His eyes were alight with excitement and curiosity, a childlike wonder that was infectious.
Elijah's eyes narrowed in mirth as he chuckled at the Pedestrian brush himself off as he cursed at his unwitting attacker. "So let me get this straight… What you’re saying is that this magic shit is almost like a programming language and you can ‘code’ something to make it explode?”
Bennett made a difficult face as he pointed at Elijah. “Potentially!” He replied, emphasizing his uncertainty. “I know that I could definitely control the yield and efficiency if I can get SOMETHING to explode, but the actual 'boom' bit is still under investigation. I mean, it's not like we have a manual or anything. I’m basically trying to reverse-engineer an alien technology here."
The thought was radical enough to cause Elijah to bring his free hand to his chin, his fingers lightly stroking his beard as he contemplated the implications of Bennett’s words. "Can you control the burn rate or control the expansion so we get lower pressure?" He asked, his eyes reflecting a spark of interest. “Like let’s say…”
"Solid propellant or even gunpowder?" Bennett interjected, his eyes lighting up at the thought. "If I can get a material to combust, then that's DEFINITELY a possibility." He continued, his mind racing with the possibilities. "The lamps and signs that glow all have marks that seem to restrict the flow of energy from a source. If I can figure out how to manipulate those marks, we could potentially control the rate of combustion, the burn time, even the intensity. It's all about understanding the language that's in use here."
Auri, who had been quietly listening to their conversation, finally spoke up. "Isn't that... extremely dangerous?" she asked, her voice filled with concern. "I mean, from the sounds of things, you’re talking about violent blasts of fire, correct?" Her eyebrows knotted in worry as she looked between the two men. "I mean, that type of magic is generally forbidden by most institutions that train mages and was only used by the Old Gods for a reason. Everyone who has tried to harness that kind of power has either maimed, dismembered or died horribly."
Both Bennett and Elijah had a surprised look on their faces as they stared at each other for a moment. Their first reaction was just to brush her off and dismiss her claims, but they both came to the conclusion that it made sense for explosives or in this case, explosion magic would be discouraged and banned. If someone didn’t understand the principles of detonations and he was given access to a wealth of malleable energy, then of course they would consistently cause immense harm to themselves and others during experiments.
"Huh…" Bennett hummed in interest before turning to Elijah. “Ain’t that some shit. You hear that? I’m already on the bleeding edge of magical research and I haven't even started yet" He chuckled, a glint of excitement in his eyes.
Elijah brought a hand to his face, tilted his head back and started laughing. “ Oh man, imagine the accolades! The prestige! Dr. Bennett Moran, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate for blowing shit up!” He continued, his laughter growing louder. "I can see the headlines now: 'Local Magineer Discovers a Forbidden Form of Magic, Causes City-Wide Destruction in the Process'."
As their laughter and jesting continued, Auri found herself chuckling along, albeit with a hint of concern. She knew all too well that their humor masked a deadly seriousness about delving into a field of magic that had claimed countless lives of mages and scholars who dared to explore it. Despite her relatively short time with them, she had quickly understood that once these two set their minds on something, they pursued it relentlessly. They would leave no stone unturned, confront any danger, and chase any lead, even if it took them to the ends of the Mortal Realm. Whether it be a common thief, a ruthless bandit, or even an Inquisitor.
Auri could only hope that their unique perspective and approach would be enough to keep them safe. “Just, be careful okay?” She finally voiced out with an unsteady voice as she looked at them both. Her eyes held a genuine concern, a silent plea for them to not get too carried away in their pursuit of knowledge and power.
The words caused Bennett to turn around just as they reached the doorway of the shop they were about to enter. “Don’t worry.” He said with a cocky smile. “I’m OSHA certified.” The tall and lanky man then fell backwards through the doorway before quickly spinning around and catching himself with a pep of energy in each step. The man quickly disappeared into the dimly lit interior, leaving both Auri and Elijah standing outside.
While Auri’s face was contorted with a mixture of bafflement and confusion, Elijah simply shook his head in amusement before leading both of them into the building. "Come on," he said, offering a reassuring smile to Auri. "Let's see what kind of trouble this idiot is gonna stir up this time."
