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The Big Oof! Volume 2 Chapter 64: Planning the Day
🕑 Added 2023-10-10 07:13:13 +0000 UTC"It's just one thing after another," Elijah grumbled, leaning back in his chair as he rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand. The previous night's revelations still weighed heavily on his mind, and the prospect of aligning with Indi seemed to be more than a simple business arrangement.
Azeline however, was seated across from him and looked far more composed than the night before as she sipped on a mug of milk. Her eyes narrowed happily as the lukewarm drink slid down her throat. “Mmmm… very fresh.” She muttered as her gaze slowly shifted to Elijah.
"Well, that’s the nature of our line of work, Eli," she finally said, taking another sip. "Mmmm…. When you prove yourself superior to your contemporaries on top of being unaligned, you tend to attract attention."
Elijah couldn't help but let out a dry laugh, shaking his head at the seeming simplicity of Azeline's statement. "Attracting attention is one thing, getting involved with the Lord of The Rings version of the Mafia is a whole other thing."
“Nobody does,” Ulina chimed in, joining the table with a tray laden with breakfast items. She set the platter down with a clatter, casting an understanding glance at Elijah. “We all just fall into it, one way or another. But look on the bright side, there’ll be a plentiful amount of work that will make your pockets deep and your reputation soar.”
"Sure, but at what cost?" Elijah questioned, using his hand to support his head as he looked up at Ulina. "We're not just talking about some petty thieves or small-time gangs here. We're dealing with an organization that's woven into the very fabric of the city, with spies and agents everywhere. And we just happened to stumble into some god awful mess where two made men are at each other's throats."
Azeline shrugged, picking up a piece of bread and spreading some jam on it. "And yet, avoiding them could mean obscurity and missed opportunities. You're worried, and rightfully so. But don’t forget that Indi is ‘at the throat’ of the person that stole your stuff.” She said, using air quotes. “So this may be a way to retrieve what was taken, and perhaps even get more than we bargained for."
Elijah's eyes narrowed at the mention of his stolen property. The very reason they were even in this shithole of a city and entangled in this mess in the first place. But just as he opened his mouth, he saw Bennett trudging down the stairs with Yana harassing him.
“What do you mean you don’t understand!?” Yana yelled, fluttering next to the unamused engineer’s head. “Grrrr! Why are you so stupid! It’s easy! You just use your hands and do the thing!” She motioned wildly before looking over to Elijah. “Why is this one so stupid!?”
“I dunno, he was born that way.” Elijah replied flippantly as he grabbed his own mug of milk.
Bennett's eyes narrowed at the insult, but his face remained stoic as he approached the table. "Right… Morning," he grumbled, ignoring Yana's continued tirade. "Can any of you make sense of what this idiot’s talking about?"
Yana, huffed in indignation as her fiery hair flared violently. "I am NOT an idiot! You're the one who can't grasp the simplest of magical concepts! It's like teaching a rock to sing except the rock isn’t as ignorant and stupid as you are!"
With another huff of indignation, the fairy zipped across the dining hall and landed squarely on top of Elijah’s head and crossed her arms. “Why are you making me teach this… this… THIS DUMMY!”
Still holding an impassive expression, Elijah blinked a few times before letting out a derisive sigh. “Because you said you would after accepting his bribe.”
One last huff left the fairy’s mouth as she immediately grabbed two fists full of Elijah hair and proceeded to yank wildly, pulling bundles of hair out of his neatly tied ponytail. "You deserve this! And this! And this!" Yana yelled, her frustration with the whole situation turning into an unexpected hair-pulling frenzy.
Her victim however, simply snarled in contempt as allowed the little menace do as she pleased. His eyes scanned each of the faces at the table and watched as everyone at the table snickering or smirking.
"Well, aren't you all a supportive bunch?" Elijah snapped, his tone dripping with sarcasm as Yana continued her rampage on his hair.
Bennett, trying to suppress a grin, finally spoke up. "Well, she seems to like you the most, so I think this is pretty much fine."
Yana then fluttered above Elijah, her wings a blur, her turned to the side in petulance. "That's for being a big meanie! And this is for not telling me sooner that Ben is an idiot! And this is for not giving me chocolate sooner!" With every word, she yanked at his hair, turning his previously orderly hairstyle into a wild mess.
Elijah finally had enough and reached up to gently but firmly grasp Yana and set her down on the table in front of him. "Alright you little terror, you've had your fun," he growled, trying to tame his now unruly hair. "I get the message."
"See that you do!" Yana snapped, crossing her arms and glaring at him. "You all think you're so clever and strong, but I have feelings too, you know! You should be nicer to me you know! You shoulda gave me chocolate sooner, you know!"
Azeline chuckled, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "You sure showed him, Yana. I bet he’s never going to underestimate the wrath of a Vanir again."
The word ‘Vanir’ caused Ulina’s ear to twitch slightly in discomfort as she slowly edged away from the table.
Narrowing her eyes, Azeline caught Ulina’s reaction at the corner of her eye. “What’s the matter Ulina? You look like you've seen a ghost."
It took a minute for the words to register, but Ulina's eyes flicked to Azeline's, and for a moment, there was a flash of something akin to fear in them. "Well… It’s just that the Vanir are powerful beings, and not to be trifled with. That's all."
Yana, excited to be mentioned and recognized, put her little hands on her hips and floated in the middle of the table. “See! At least this one knows my greatness! But I'm no mere Vanir; I'm great Yanaiyániuoa herself! Goddess of the Fae and the Judge of Autumn!”
Her tiny voice was filled with pride, and she looked around the table, expecting everyone to be properly awed. Instead, she was met with blank stares.
“So anyways, I got a date today and Ben wants to go out, get more skewers and hit that magic shop.” Elijah said, changing the subject and looking over to Azeline. “You guys wanna come?
Bennett, who had completely zoned out and was contemplating on Yana's magical teachings, was pulled back to reality by Elijah's words. He looked at his captain before turning to Yana’s proud form, wondering what the hell was going on. "Ah, yes, skewers and the magic shop. Sounds like a plan."
Azeline gave a soft laugh at the absurdity of the conversation. "I'm in for skewers, but I think I'll pass on the magic shop. You know how I feel about that stuff after my last visit with Ben."
"Suit yourself," Bennett said, nonchalantly as he grabbed a slice of bread and started spreading jam on it.
Yana, meanwhile, seemed completely affronted by the casual dismissal of her grand announcement. "You people are insufferable! I declare my true nature, and you talk of skewers?!" She huffed, puffing out her little chest.
“What, you don’t want any skewers?” Elijah raised an eyebrow as he continued straightening his now-mussed hair.
"Skewers? SKEWERS?!" Yana's voice rose to an indignant squawk. "I'm talking about my divine nature here, and you're reducing it to mere appetizers?!"
Elijah gave her an odd look before gesturing towards the little menace. “Is that a no?”
With her wings fluttering in agitation, Yana shot a glare at Elijah before snapping her head to the side in a harrumph. "Fine! I shall accept your humble offering of skewers," she declared, trying to maintain some semblance of dignity. "But only if they're the best ones, with the spiciest sauce!"
While shaking his head, Elijah let out a huff of amusement before getting up from his seat. “Good, that’s what I thought.” He said before letting out a strained groan as he stretched his arms over his head. “Aze, go wake up Auri.” Elijah tilted his head over to Azeline causing Yana to dangle from Elijah's head, clutching onto his hair for dear life.
Azeline glanced over to Elijah with a piece of toast hanging from her mouth as she scooped up a spoonful of porridge. “Now?” A muffled and garbled voice left her mouth before she continued chewing.
Pausing in the middle of his stretch, Elijah lifted an eyebrow at Azeline while Yana pretended she was about to fall to her death. “... Yes. Now.” he replied incredulously. “I mean, Auri would probably want to get some breakfast before we leave, wouldn't she?”
The two continued to stare at each other in silence as Azeline continued to chew on her food. “... How about no.” She replied, shoving the spoon of porridge into her mouth. “Why do I gotta do it? Just go in there and shove her awake.”
Snapped his head snapped towards Bennett for a brief second before looking back at Azeline as if she lost her mind. “Because its your fuckin’ room.” He replied, his voice filled with disbelief. "And besides, I’m a guy. Wouldn’t it be creepy if I just barged in or some shit? I’m not trying to give off the creeper diddler vibes, okay?"
Azeline's eyes widened for a moment as she felt food go down the wrong pipe after chortling at Elijah’s explanation. "A creeper diddler? Seriously?" She managed to say between fits of coughs. “As much as I appreciate your… contradictory respect for women’s privacy, I think it’ll be fine if you’re just trying to wake her up and not… diddle her.” Aze said giggling at the word.
“Help, help! I’m falling!” Yana yelled as she held onto the ends of Elijah ponytail while the man himself snapped his head around the room utterly confused.
“What the fuck? I’m not just going to barge into some woman’s room and… You know what?” Elijah suddenly stopped his rant and lifted his arms up in surrender. “I’ll fucking knock.” He said, walking away from the table and towards the stairs, muttering under his breath. "God damn locals are insane."
Meanwhile Yana, still clutching onto Elijah's ponytail, squealed in horror. "Help! Help! The creeper’s kidnapping me to diddle me!" she exclaimed, causing the table to erupt in laughter.
Azeline was practically doubled over, tears streaming down her face as she tried to catch her breath. Bennett wasn't faring much better, laughing so hard he could hardly speak. Even Ulina, who usually kept a more reserved demeanor, was chuckling at the spectacle.
“I swear to fucking god…” Elijah's disgruntled muttering turned into a full-blown grumble as he ascended the stairs, trying to ignore the laughter that followed him. "You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?" he told the little menace before finally reaching the door to Azeline and Auri's room.
The man knocked three times, more forcefully than necessary. "Auri? You in there? Breakfast is ready."
There was a long pause before a groggy voice replied, "Mmmrrrrrmmm… What do you want? Go away!"
Elijah knotted his brow at the closed door before turning his head to Yana who was floating next to him. They both shared a look before Elijah poised his hand for another knock. “I said breakfast is ready, Auri. Don’t you wanna get some food?”
"Arghhh!" Auri's scream came through the door, sounding vaguely intrigued but mostly confused. "I said go away! Why do you people never let me sleep!?"
"Because you’re stupid and ugly!" Yana chimed in, her tiny voice bellowed with mischief. "Now wake up before I go in there and zap you, idiot!”
Giving Yana the side eye, Elijah opened his mouth to say something, but the sounds of moving furniture and muffled expletives coming from behind the door stopped him.
Suddenly the door swung open and a disheveled red-headed elven girl presented herself with just her sheets covering her. “WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? I’LL LIGHT YOU ON FI-” She suddenly stopped mid-scream before recognizing who she was talking to. It was then Auri’s eyes went wide and her hands went up defensively when she saw the face of the mischievous fairy grinning back at her.
“EEP!” Auri shrieked, her face turning crimson as her sheet fell to the floor. But then it dawned on her, there was another soul present.
Elijah stood there with his eyes nearly bulging out of his head, instinctively glancing up and down Auri’s naked and petite form before he promptly turned his head to the side.
Another shrill shriek escaped Auri’s mouth as she immediately covered her chest and slammed the door shut, leaving Elijah standing outside, a bright red blush spreading across his face. He was utterly mortified, at a complete loss for words, while Yana burst into peals of laughter beside him.
"CREEPER! CEEPER!!" Yana teased, poking at Elijah's shoulder with her tiny finger before bolting down towards the stairs. “GUYS! GUYS! ELIJAH IS A CREEPY DIDDLER! HE PEEPED AT AURI!"
It was at this point that Elijah knew that his life was shit. With a hand sliding down his face to pinch the bridge of his nose, he muttered only a few words before heaving a heavy sigh. “God… God fucking damnit…” he murmured, realizing that this moment would likely haunt him for quite some time.
And no one was going to let him forget it.
Despite the… eventful of the morning, the day eventually transitioned into something more normal. Plans were made, and money was allocated as they all headed out, leaving Ulina behind to tend to the tavern.
As they walked through the bustling shopping district, the conversation flowed more naturally, and the tension from earlier began to dissipate. They were focused on their tasks at hand, searching for supplies for their next adventure. The streets were filled with colorful stalls, the air rich with the scents of spices, leather, and freshly baked bread. The sights and sounds of the city life surrounded them, providing a welcome distraction.
Yana, however, was not one to let things go so easily. Every so often, in the middle of everyone’s conversation, her eyes would twinkle with mischief. "Creeper," she'd suddenly blurt out, eliciting chuckles out of both Bennett and Azeline.
Elijah tried his best to ignore her jibes, but it was clear that her teasing was getting under his skin. His eye would twitch in agitation while his jaw clenched in frustration. Meanwhile, Auri would turn a deep shade of red as she turned her face away from the group, trying to hide her embarrassment from the morning's incident.
“It’s your fault for being naked.” Azeline glanced at Auri and teased a playful grin graced her face, causing Auri’s blush to deepen.
In response Auri shot Azeline a hateful glare. "Well, it’s not like I was expect a MAN to show up to my room!" She retorted defensively as she clench her fist. "Let alone Eli-jah and that dem-!" Auri immediately stopped herself as her eyes flickered to Yana.
Knowing exactly what and who that innocent looking Fae was, Auri felt a sense of foreboding fear grip her heart. “I didn’t expect anyone to bother waking me up other than you!” She corrected herself and went back to glaring at Azeline, her expression filled with indignation.
Yana, for her part, looked over to Auri with eyes full of mock innocence. "Oh, Auri," she said in a singsong voice, "Don’t worry, I won't let this CREEPER peek into your room again." She then flashed a teasing grin at Elijah, who groaned in response.
A resentful groan left Elijah's mouth as he grabbed the fairy riding on his shoulder and handed her to Azeline.
“Ack!”
“Alright, fuck you all. I’m outta here.” Elijah said, breaking off from the group. "Ben, buy me some skewers. Azeline, don’t let Yana kill anyone.” With that, the man turned on his heel and headed towards the shop that contained Laza.
Staring in bewilderment, Auri turned to Bennett with a furrowed brow. “Where’s he going?”
Bennett, casually flipping a coin in his hand, glanced at Elijah's retreating figure before shrugging nonchalantly. "He’s trying to sleep with some woman.” He said pointedly, waving his hand in a dismissive manner. “And probably get some information.
Auri stood there staring at Bennett for a while as a weird feeling creeped up into her chest. “WHAT!?” She barked out in disbelief, her face turning an even deeper shade of red. "Eli-jah is doing what!? Sleeping with a woman!?" A growl left her mouth as she turned to where the man in question disappeared. “And you let him!?”
Azeline gave Auri an odd look. "Wait, are you actually surprised? I mean, it's Elijah, this isn’t exactly surprising." she trailed off, clearly taken aback.
"But... but..." Auri stammered, struggling to bring words to what was running through her mind.
“Ohhhh? Interested in my servant?” Yana said evilly as a wicked grin spread across her face.
A mortified look spread across Auri's face as she stared at the Vanir clutched tightly in Azeline’s hand. “NO.” She snapped as her face flushed with anger and embarrassment. "It's not like that! I'm just... curious."
Yana's grin only widened at Auri's reaction. "Me thinks the witch harbors hidden feelings," she said with a gleeful cackle.
Auri’s mouth was flapping wordlessly as she stared at the fairy snug tightly in Azelines hand. Azeline herself turned her gaze towards Yana and gave her a difficult look and opened her mouth to ask what she was on about, but Bennett interrupted her.
“Ya, ya what-the-fuck-ever. That’s cool and all, but BEHOLD!” The engineer gestured grandiosity towards the fabled skewer stall and its troop of cooks setting their makeshift establishment up. “The finest establishment in the city!" Bennett's eyes sparkled with excitement as he beheld the sizzling delights being prepared.
Azeline immediately forgot what was going through her head and clasped her hands together in glee. “Oooooo!” She cooed, her eyes wide with anticipation. "They look absolutely divine!" She happily followed Bennett towards the stall.
Even Yana was salivating at the mouth as the bags of spices permeated the air around them. But Auri, despite the tantalizing aromas, couldn't take her eyes away from that terrifying existence still clasped in Azelines hand. The way they all acted and treated the being seemed to boggle her mind and made her question everything she thought she knew about the Fae.
Yana was not the innocent yet mischievous creature she often displayed herself as. Auri knew that being was as unimaginably powerful and intelligent as she was whimsical. But her whimsy ways was of a dangerous sort. Fae as powerful as Yana played with people's lives as if they were toys, a game for her own amusement, and there was nothing endearing about it.
With a shake of her head, Auri dispelled her reluctance and forced herself to take one step after another towards the skewer stall where the others had gathered.
Comments
David Ellis
What? She can take her sweet time, then when she's ready grab Elijah's crotch and he'll come along.
Mr von Twistern
Auri better hurry if she whants to act on her feelings
