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The Big Oof! Volume 2 Chapter 46: Eviction Notice
🕑 Added 2023-06-08 07:35:38 +0000 UTC“So what you’re telling me, is all we have to do is help kick some losers out of their rooms and we can have them at a discount?” Bennett asked, following Azeline up the stairs.
Azeline nodded before stretching her back. “Yep, they’ve stopped paying their bill.” She said looking over her shoulder at the two humans. “And Marruck says that if we take care of it, we get two rooms for the price of one for as long as we want!”
Elijah let out a whistle, clearly impressed by the deal. "Hot damn, I do love me a two for one!" A smirk came over his face as he lightly tapped on his coat pocket. “Wakey, wakey. It’s time for some work!”
A groan emanated from the pocket as a groggy fairy stuck her head out with squinting eyes. “WHAT!?” She snapped. “Why do you never allow me to wake up peacefully!?” Yana sneered as she flew out of the pocket and glared at Elijah.
"Well, what!? What is it you want!?" Yana demanded, her hands on her hips, her wings fluttering in agitation.
An amused look spread across Elijah’s face after seeing how annoyed his apparent patron ‘goddess’ was. “And here I thought you’d like to zap someone and enjoy their misery.” He said in a mock disappointed tone.
Yana looked almost insulted by the statement as she shot back, "Do you think I only exist and I only enjoy making people miserable!?" She crossed her arms and huffed, trying to maintain her dignity. "I can appreciate a good prank or two, but I'm not all about suffering and pain, you know. I have many other interests and abilities! What do you take me for? A demon!?"
“Yes.” Eliah answered immediately.
“RUDE!!!” Yana shouted, pointing a finger at Elijah, her tiny face a mixture of outrage and disbelief. "Rude, rude, rude, rude, rude!! You’re the worst servant EVER!"
With everyone coming to a stop in front of one of the evictees' doors, Elijah, gave her a knowing look. “So you don’t wanna zap anyone?” He asked as Bennett started examining the door.
Puffing her cheeks full of air, Yana closed her eyes and snapped her head to the side in a fit of pique and crossed her arms. “I didn’t say THAT.” She replied in a sassy tone. “I’m just saying I'm not a demon, you know! I have many other talents, you know! I'm not only about causing misery, you know! I’m a goddess, you know!"
Completely ignoring the exchange behind him, Bennett studied the door intensely and noticed it only outwards before looking back at Azeline. “So what are the parameters here?” He asked, lightly tapping on the door where the locking mechanism SHOULD have been on any modern door. “Do we find a way to make entry on our own or is there a key or something?
Azeline shook her head, her eyes fixed on the door. "Oh this place doesn't have anything fancy enough to require a key. It's just a simple latch and hasp," she explained, lightly pulling on the door and noticing there was only one spot where it would give way. "Marruck said we're to enter and evict them however we can. If they resist, we can handle it, but he did request that we don't cause too much damage or make too much of a mess."
Nodding in understanding, Bennett grabbed his Halligan bar, placed the wedge where the latch was located and looked at Azeline. “Use your power and knock it in, if you will.” He requested, holding the tool stead.
A grin spread across Azeline's face as she remembered how the Humans demonstrated its use earlier in the night and gathered mana into her hand. "But of course!" she exclaimed, slamming the palm of her hand into the flat end of the bar, sending the wedge deep into the small opening with a resounding metallic clang.
Bennett pulled hard on the bar, and the door gave way with a loud, wooden crack as it violently separated from the latch. Not even a second later, a magical pop rang out, and a teal streak flashed by as Yana zipped into the room. Suddenly, muffled screams, small cracks of lightning, and an evil giggle filled the air, echoing throughout the hallway.
“WAKEY, WAKEY! IT’S TIME TO GET UP SLEEPY HEAD!” Yana yelled in a sweet voice as she continued to shock the poor soul inside.
Closing the door and pushing his body weight against it, Bennett turned to the rest of the crew and yawned. “So, once we get our rooms, what do we do next?” He asked as he felt himself repeatedly pushed forward by the room's occupants' attempts to get out.
Azeline slid down the wall and sat down as she thought about the question. "Well, first things first, we need to get settled in and rest up. After that, my friend Ulina said she’ll find us some local work and set us up with a trusted Tasker.” She answered, while the screaming and thuds continued. “This city has plenty of opportunities, and we need to build our reputation if we want to make good money.”
“That’d also be a great way to start sending feelers out for where our stuff is.” Elijah Interjected, scratching his head. “If Taskers work as you say they do, they should be keeping their ears close to the ground, so any high profile movement will be bound to be noticed.”
A memory started to come back to Bennett as he snapped his fingers, trying to get Elijah’s attention and jog his brain to remember at the same time. “Ah! Ahh like umm…. Like that one time on Alpha-Centauri 1!” He snapped one more time and pointed at his Captain while cries for help echoed from the room. “Remember when we did that one personal security detail job for that brat ass kid and she ran away? Same shit right?”
Elijah immediately recalled what Bennett was talking about and groaned in response. "Ugh, don't remind me. That little hellion was truly a nightmare I wish to never experience again. Tracking down our shit is probably going to be easier than finding that… thing. But yeah, same idea."
Bennett shuddered as the memories started flooding back. “Alright, it’s probably time to let him out. “He said, taking his weight off the door and allowing some poor anthropomorphic beast-like man to stumble out with patches of his fur burned off.
"It seems that you haven't paid your dues in a while, friend," Azeline sternly informed the disheveled creature, who was trying to scramble away from Yana, but Elijah firmly grabbed a hold of the scruff of the being’s neck. "Marruck's done giving you a break. Time to pack up and leave."
A mixture of anger and fear flashed across the beast-man's face as he stared at the crew, but the sight of the little fairy fluttering in front of his face made him rethink any form of resistance. “O-okay, okay! I get it!” He stammered as he quickly crawled back into the room to collect his belongings. “J-just keep that THING away from me!!”
A look of satisfaction spread across Bennett’s face as he rubbed his hands together as if he was dusting them off and looked at the rest of the crew. “Alright, who's next?”
Azeline looked over to the door further down the hall and giddily tapped her fingers together. "That one," she said, walking over to the room with a mischievous grin on her face. "And Yana, we're going to be especially rough with this one."
A dangerous cackle left the little fairy’s mouth as she excitedly buzzed around the crew’s heads while Bennett inspected the door. Once the engineer found the position of the latch, he placed the wedge of his halligan bar into the narrow gap and signaled to Azeline. Taking the cue, the elf woman thrust her palm forward, driving the wedge in the crack of the door.
CRACK
The wooden door easily gave way and flung open, revealing the startled occupants inside. Two naked women were found inside on top of one another with the look of fear and surprise etched on both of their faces.
“Heh, sucks to suck.” Bennett let out an amused huff as he closed the door just when Yana rushed in.
-
The crew were walking down the stairs to the loud and boisterous eating area as they laughed and joked about their evictions when they caught sight of Ulina at the bottom. She was leaning against the wall next to a short and stocky Aethari man that had a small bucket of tools with him. Looking up at the group with an entertained look on her face, Ulina held a hand to her mouth and let out a soft chuckle.
“Well, well, well!” The white haired woman wore a smirk as the crew approached her. "It seems from the commotion upstairs, you guys had quite the success.”.
“I just pray ye didn’t do too much damage...” A hoarse voice left the stocky man’s throat as he walked over and grabbed a few blankets of wood that were leaning against the wall.
Elijah shrugged nonchalantly, glancing at the others. "Nah, we kept it mostly under control. A few scorch marks and a couple broken doors, but nothing too major."
Ulina raised an eyebrow in surprise, then glanced at the stocky man. "Is that so? Well, this is Gavros, our trusted handyman.” She gestured to the man in question as he shrugged, adjusting the weight in his hands “He'll be getting your rooms up to standard as soon as possible"
Gavros let out a deep grunt and squinted his eyes at Elijah. “And if ye be tellin’ the truth…” He paused for a moment, surveying the rest of the group with a critical eye, "I should have it all fixed up in an hour." The handyman finished as he started walking forward.
The crew made sure to make way for the gruff man as he hobbled his way up the stairs and disappeared down the hallway, tools and wood planks in tow.
“In the meantime, why don’t you all grab a table and I’ll get you all some food and drink.” Ulina said as she gestured towards the eating area. "You must be famished after all the excitement."
“FOOD!?” A certain little menace yelled out as she flew past everyone's heads and stared at Ulina intensely. “Did you say food!?”
Ulina's eyes widened as Yana buzzed around her head, darting in and out of her reach. She flinched and attempted to swat the fairy away, but Yana's nimble movements made it impossible to land a hit. As Ulina's gaze finally settled on the fairy, a look of recognition flashed across her face, causing her blood to run cold.
She was staring at one of the fabled Vanirs.
Memories of tales from her childhood started to flood her mind as she recalled the legends of these sadistic beings– powerful, mischievous, cunning and most importantly, obsessed with rules and contracts. These stories would often be accompanied by warnings to never, under any circumstances, make deals with a Vanir. Regardless of what stipulations you could think of, they would always find ways to twist the terms in their favor, often with dire consequences for those foolish enough to enter into an agreement with them.
Having grown accustomed to Yana’s presence, Azeline had completely forgotten about the impact the Fae’s appearance might have on others. Seeing Ulina's reaction served as a stark reminder of Yana’s true nature and the tales she had heard herself while growing up. Though the two Humans were immune to Yana’s machinations and had built a certain level of trust with her, it was crucial not to forget that she was still a Vanir.
“Eli! Grab her!” Azeline shouted, nudging the man in the ribs.
Standing ramrod straight, Ulina stared right into the violet glow that was in Yana’s eye sockets and felt a dread chill run down her spine. Pushing herself against the wall as far she could, Ulina’s heart started to pound violently in her chest as the Vanir fluttered about, yapping away at something she couldn’t quite discern.
"What kind of food? Where's the food?!" Yana exclaimed, buzzing around restlessly. "Tell me before I force it out of you, mortal—GWACK!" Her threat was cut short when Elijah swiftly snatched her out of the air.
Gasping for breath, Ulina pressed herself against the wall, her eyes wide with terror. She looked at Elijah as he scolded the tiny creature in his hand, then turned her gaze to Azeline. "What in the name of Harda, WAS that?!" she demanded, her voice shaking.
Azeline sighed and rubbed the back of her neck, wondering how in the world she was going to explain this one. However, she just simply settled on the truth and looked up at Ulina. "That, Ulina, is Yana. She is a Vanir... a rather powerful one. Butl, let's say she's a uh… 'unique' member of our crew.” She explained. “And I apologize for her behavior; we should have warned you beforehand. She’s… Not harmless, but she won't hurt YOU!"
“I think…”
Ulina's brain felt like it short circuited for a moment as she just stared at Azeline as if she said the most impossible thing ever uttered by a living person. “You… This… It’s your CREWMATE!?” She shouted in disbelief. “You were desperate enough to make a contract with it!? Azeline, are you INSANE!?”
Still rubbing the back of her neck, Azeline looked off to the side in thought. “Well… Technically I didn’t make a contract with her, they did.” She pointed her thumb at the two Human’s. “And it seems her magic doesn’t really affect them.”
An incomprehensible look spread across Ulina’s face as she stood there speechless. Her eyes shot between Elijah and Bennett before she brought both of her hands to her face.
“This… I… I don’t….” Ulina muttered, shaking her head. “You know what, I’m just going to remove this from my memory and say it was all a fever dream. That's a pixy, and I refuse to believe otherwise.” She said finally, dropping her hands and taking a deep breath. "I don't want to know any other details, don’t break my illusion, that’s just what I’m going to settle on."
Elijah, Bennett and Azeline exchanged glances before nodding in agreement. "Fair enough," They all said simultaneously while Elijah still held onto Yana.
"Okay… Come on, I have a table being cleaned for us." Ulina said, turning around towards the cacophony that was the common hall.
Ulina did her best to act as if everything was normal as she led the group through the mass of lively people laughing or screaming as they ate or drank. In some parts of the large tavern a fight would break out and they would last for a while until broken up by the more seasoned freelancers. There seemed to have an unspoken agreement to maintain a certain level of order in the establishment. Others would only intervene and break up a fight when weapons were pulled or it was obvious one of them wasn’t able to continue.
As the crew followed Ulina, they found themselves in front of an abused and deeply gouged table, showing evidence of countless brawls and spirited gatherings that had taken place around it. An Aethari and Ferfolk barmaid were doing their best to clean up the mess that had been left behind, their well-practiced hands quickly clearing away broken glass, spilled drinks, and scattered food. Despite the challenging state of the table, they moved with efficient experience, their teamwork a testament to how rowdy the bustling tavern really was.
“Here, sit.” Ulina gestured towards the table as the barmaid wiped it clean. “I’ll have someone lead your companion here and fetch you some food.” She said, snapping her fingers at the Aethari Barmaid. “Let's speak more on your options for taskers while your rooms are being prepared.”
With a nod, the Aethari barmaid scurried off to fetch their companion and organize the food. Meanwhile, the crew settled into their seats, their curiosity piqued about the potential opportunities Ulina had to offer.
Once everyone was seated, Ulina took a seat herself and leaned against the table, her hands folded in front of her. "I know Azeline, but I’m still unsure of you two and your… Friend.” She said, shifting her head between the two men, refusing to acknowledge the Fairy sticking her head out of Elijah’s jacket. “There’s a variety of Taskers here and other employers we could connect you to, however..." Ulina paused as she scanned the crew's faces, noting their interest. "It’ll use some of our establishment’s good will, but I can connect you to a few Taskers so you won't effectively be starting from scratch.”
Ulina then leaned back in her chair and narrowed her eyes “I just need to be sure you’re all worth the risk.”
Elijah and Bennett exchanged glances for a moment, before turning back to Ulina. They both understood that they were an unknown variable and needed to prove themselves as capable. Being mercenaries themselves, they could recognize that they were giving a rare opportunity to bypass most of the bottom barrel errands and jump straight to the bitch work.
However, when Elijah opened his mouth, he found Azeline was already speaking up for them. “Trust me when I say they’re HIGHLY capable, Ulina.” She said, her tone confident and reassuring. "I've worked with them for over a week now, and they've never let me down. As a matter of fact, they’re the ones that saved my life and Eli here is a healer that nursed me back to health.”
Raising an eyebrow, Ulina studied Elijah for a moment. “A healer?" she finally said with great interest. “There's a VERY large demand for healers here, given the dangerous nature of the work here and the frequent occurrence of injuries of our patrons…." Ulina leaned back in her chair, her eyes narrowing as she assessed Elijah. "Even having the most fledgling healers on hand would be a massive boon to our tavern."
In between their conversation, Auri nervously pulled out a chair and sat down next to Bennett. "I'm likely the best healer you'll ever come across, and my services DO NOT come cheap," Elijah stated coolly, tapping on the table. "You might find it more cost-effective to consider my other skills."
An incredulous look formed on Ulina’s face as she found Elijah’s words as those of a braggart and shifted her gaze to Azeline.
“No, he’s probably correct.” Azeline said in a serious tone. “I was already several days deep into an infection across my entire side when he cured me.”
Ulina's eyes widened, her mouth falling open in disbelief as she processed Azeline's statement. Not even the healers from the Holy Dominion or the Mages of Akhrathia could figure out how or why the disease killed you. A mix of shock and awe in her gaze, trying to determine whether this was an elaborate joke or if what they were saying was indeed true.
Even Auri, who had only just joined the group, mirrored Ulina's expression as she stared at Elijah. "Wait... What? How?"
Comments
David Ellis
I am surprised at the amount of information Eli and Azeline are revealing at the end here.
