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The Big Oof! Volume 1 Chapter 26: Meet the Knights
🕑 Added 2023-02-02 03:32:53 +0000 UTC“What the FUCK do you mean you have no way of verifying it??” Elijah asked in an aggressive, yet bewildered manner.
His hand swept to the side and pushed several of the bear spines he had brought in for sale as he leaned forward and narrowed his eyes.
“I told you.” Azeline said off to the side.
“What about all the shit YOU’RE selling with mana in it!?” Elijah elected to ignore the woman and as he pointed to a normal looking sheet of metal. “How do you verify if it’s magical or not!?”
The blacksmith scowled at the strange man questioning his store and reputation.
“This ‘ere been verified by ME! That’s how ya know its real!” He bellowed, slamming his hand down on the counter. “How DARE you question me store!”
“Verified by WHAT!? You said you aren’t able to verify what I have in my hand, and I’m suppose to just fuckin’ TRUST you!?” Elijah countered with an incredulous expression. “Go on, tell me how you verified it. I’ll wait!”
All the other patrons in the store were trying to ignore the spat, assuming it was just another disgruntled customer not getting their way. However, once they heard that nugget of logic, everyone couldn’t help but furrow their brows as the gears in their head started turning.
It was a valid point…
If the shopkeeper had no way of verifying the mana quantity and quality of particular items, how did he know if what he was selling was genuine?
“Ye! Ye aren’t welcome here! GIT OUT!” The big bellied man shouted when he noticed his other customer whispering to each other.
“Oh don’t worry, I will. I’m not exactly keen on getting SCAMMED by some shitter that doesn’t even know what he’s even selling!” Elijah yelled back, grabbing the mana infused spines.
The blacksmith’s face went red as a tomato as he watched not only Elijah, but the rest of his patrons walk out.
Azeline furrowed her brow, lost in thought as she made her way outside following after her brown skinned companion. She had always felt something was off about how most of these tradesmen and merchants would hide behind the excuse of not being able to verify the mana of whatever was being bought or sold. But now Elijah had inelegantly articulated what she felt in the deepest pits of her heart and Azeline was unable to stop the look of respect when her eyes fell on his back.
The man was truly a piece of shit, and his assholery paid in dividends.
“What a fucking tool…!” Elijah snarled while stomping away.
Frustration covered his face after encountering the 4th shop that had refused to buy his wares due to their inability to measure how much mana the shadow-bear-thing’s spines held. At first he questioned whether the things had any mana at all, but Bennett was able to verify the things were so chock full of energy that it nearly blinded him.
A sigh left Elijah's mouth as he came to a stomp and smothered his face with his hand.
“How the hell am I going to pay this bitch if no one is able to buy these damned things…?” He asked rhetorically, looking into the air.
Suddenly Elijah felt slight rustling in the front pocket of the jacket he was wearing.
“Why… Why were you yelling?” A small flaming head popped out while rubbing her eyes.
Elijah massaged his brow in an attempt to alleviate the mounting agitation and cast his gaze downward to respond to the diminutive pocket fairy, but his companion's sudden outburst precluded him from doing so.
"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I BEEN SWINDLED!?" Azeline exclaimed in dismay, clutching her head in her hands.
The realization that she had likely been taken advantage of in the majority of her transactions involving the sale or purchase of items imbued with mana from merchants had struck her with full force.
All those present in the square directed their attention towards the woman as she crouched over and emitted an exclamation of frustration. The majority of the onlookers elected to disregard her and continued on their way, perceiving her as a deranged individual experiencing a mental breakdown in public.
However, a select group who had also been present in the blacksmith's establishment covered their mouths in shocked silence as they arrived at a similar realization.
…
Yana and Elijah just stared at Azeline as if she had issues.
“Anyways.” Elijah elected to ignore the kvetching and look down at Yana. “I’m just having a difficult time making some money.”
“These assholes don’t have the tools to measure out how much magic ANYTHING has and I’ve figured that they’re most likely ripping everyone off.”
As Elijah vented his grievances about the local merchants, Yana emerged from his pocket and fluttered to the top of the man's head. She emitted a hum of curiosity as her Apostle expounded on the inadequacies of these fraudulent merchants and lamented his shortage of the local currency.
“Hmmm…” Yana sat cross legged and thought about the human’s problem.
She found it perplexing why mortals placed such reliance on these glittering stones that they dug out from the earth. This had been a constant throughout Yana's extensive existence, and in every encounter with mortals of any race or persuasion, they always employed some arbitrary object as a medium of exchange.
”So you’re just having problems trading your stick thingies for rock thingies that these ‘merchants have, right?” She asked while rocking back and forth.
“More or less.” Elijah said with a sigh as he walked through the crowd, with a distraught Azeline behind him.
A considerable throng had congregated in the town square and was moving towards the tavern with a frenzied yet controlled urgency. It reminded Elijah of the manner in which a horde of admirers would behave if they were to happen upon their preferred renowned figure promenading in public.
“I just - Hey! Get the hell out of the way! I just need the funds in order to pay Auri to teach me how to read and write.” Elijah exclaimed as he forced his way through several individuals garbed in red robes who displayed a look of reverence. "And, I would prefer not to excessively rely on Azeline's finances anymore than I absolutely have to.”
“Plus, I need to reimburse her for everything she already spent on us.”
Grabbing a fist full of hair in both hands, Yana continued to rock around on his head while pretending to control the man.
“The weird smelling one?” She asked yanking his hair to the left, pretending she was responsible for his maneuvering. “I suppose it’s only fair to compensate one for services rendered.”
“Have you tried just finding an individual or a group to sell the sticks to directly?” Yana suggested. “Surely those with a lot of power have large resource requirements.”
Elijah scowled as the crowd got more dense and rowdy while he and Azeline pushed their way through to get back to the Tavern.
"Argh!" Elijah exclaimed, pushing his way through the throngs of people. "That would be a good idea if I knew who to look for!" He managed to growl out, his progress impeded by the crowd. "Furthermore, if Azeline is correct, I highly doubt we'll be able to find anyone rich enough here to buy this," he added, finally breaking through to a clear area.
“I dunno, those guys seem to be pretty strong and rich looking.” Yana said, yanking hard on his hair with her right hand.
With a scowl of irritation, Elijah indulged the tiny creature and shifted his gaze to the right, where he observed a number of elves prostrating themselves before a pair of armored feet. As he gradually raised his gaze, he blanched upon beholding the red and white flowing surcoat worn over a suit of shimmering metallic armor and a voluminous cloak.
Throughout the duration of his stay in this town, Elijah had never encountered anyone who could match his or Bennett's stature, but this elven man was a striking exception. The elven man turned his head, revealing a sharply defined and pointed jaw, his immaculate blonde hair flowing gracefully over his pauldrons like a cascade of gold.
The sight was nothing short of majestic.
Suddenly, Elijah found himself the subject of intense scrutiny as two blood-red orbs bore into his own, seemingly evaluating every aspect of him. An overwhelming sense of dread filled the human as he remembered the identity and position of this particular knight.
"Oh, shit," Elijah muttered under his breath, doing his best to control his facial expressions.
However, his thoughts were abruptly interrupted as the armored elf pivoted on his heel and strode towards Elijah, the expression of recognition etched upon his face.
There's no way...there's no way he knows...right? Elijah thought to himself as his hand unconsciously inched towards his concealed pistol.
"You!" The Majestic Elf commanded, his regal voice echoing throughout the crowd.
People parted like a sea, clearing a path for their revered idol as he marched towards his objective. In tow, was a formidable entourage of equally armed and armored knights, issuing orders for the throngs of people to make way for his holiness, under the threat of death.
As Elijah stood face to face with the most imposing elf he had ever encountered on this planet, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of intimidation and fear as the elf's intense red eyes seemed to scrutinize his soul.
The man had a veritable army at his disposal.
"Your Holiness Salvanius, I believe this is the individual we were seeking," a feminine voice spoke up beside the elf.
The one who spoke quickly stepped up right next to Salvanius and fell to one knee to show her respect.
Elijah felt a chill of fear run down his spine as his mind raced with the direst of possibilities. Not only was he trapped by the throngs of people that surrounded them, but he knew for certain he did not have enough ammunition to defend himself against so many adversaries.
But his musing came to an abrupt end as a small voice resounded just above him.
"Why don't you sell them to this idiot?" Yana's voice suddenly interrupted Elijah's thoughts, causing him to freeze in panic.
I’m going to kill this little shit before I die. Elijah cursed the little fairy in his own mind for speaking out of turn in front of someone who could probably cleave him in half.
Elijah maintained a neutral face even though he nervously scanned the reactions of the knights, half-expecting them to draw their weapons and attack him.
But all he saw was disinterest other than the slight tilt of Salvanius’ head.
"Hmmm...Interesting." Salvanius mused as his gaze shifted towards the tiny being perched atop Elijah's head.
The Elven man couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the unexpected comment from the fairy.
Elijah, on the other hand, was in a state of panic. He cursed Yana in his mind for her inappropriate comment and feared for his life as he nervously scanned the reactions of the knights, expecting them to draw their weapons and attack him at any moment.
But to his surprise, the knights seemed indifferent to Yana's comment, with only Salvanius showing any sort of reaction, a slight tilt of his head, as if he was deep in thought.
"So, you are the one my brother has spoken so highly of," Salvanius evaluated the individual before him. “The so-called great scholar that would lead healers around the world into a new age.”
Elijah let out a sigh of relief, thankful that his friend's inappropriate comment had gone unaddressed. But on the inside Elijah was still fuming and started to think of how he was going to make this little shit pay for his near heart attack. And in that moment, Elijah made a mental note to have a serious talk with Yana about her loose tongue and the danger it could put them in.
Nevertheless, she was absolutely right.
The fact that he wasn’t a smear on the ground already, meant that they hadn't been made and there was an opportunity to get out of this in one piece. But, as he stood before Salvanius, he knew that he needed to tread carefully and choose his words very carefully.
“I must confess, I did not expect to find anyone who could come close to my own stature, let alone match it." Salvanius said, walking closer and looking Elijah up and down as if he was inspecting him.
Yana stepped off Elijah’s head and floated at head level while glaring right at Salvanius.
“Hey idiot, are you looking to buy some-ACK!” She got out before immediately being cut off by a hand snatching her out of the air.
“I apologize for that.” Elijah said, bowing his head deeply while shoving the struggling little gremlin into his coat pocket.
Salvanius couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the sight of Elijah trying to contain the tiny creature. "Apology accepted, but I must say, I am intrigued by your companion. What manner of being is it?"
“They look awfully similar to the Vanir from the legends of old.” He continued.
Zipping up the pocket he shoved Yana into, Elijah let out a slightly forced laugh as he felt the little demon kick and punch him from within.
“Ah don’t worry about her, we found the mangy and rabid thing in a bush!” Elijah shrugged off Yana's origins, trying to deflect the attention from her while his mind was preoccupied with wondering where in the FUCK Azeline had gone.
Looking around at the crowd he couldn't shake the feeling that she had sensed the impending danger and wisely chose to distance herself from the situation.
Salvanius raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued but decided to not press the matter any further. "Ah, I see. Well, I suppose it is none of my concern, but it seems your ‘mangy’ friend is quite spirited.”
However, Salvanius couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to Elijah and his companion than he was letting on. He made a mental note to keep an eye on them in the future. “I would be interested in hearing more about the two of you and this deal your little friend mentioned. I’m actually on my way to see my brother, would you care to join me?”
Closing his eyes briefly, A slew of curses resounded in Elijah’s head as he maintained his poker face. He couldn't believe how quickly the situation had spiraled out of control, and denying the man seemed ill-advised at best seeing the large number of warriors behind him.
"That would be an honor, Your Holiness," Elijah replied, trying to keep his voice steady despite the panic rising in his chest. “However, I’d like to check in with my comrades and put away some valuables if you wouldn’t mind.
"Of course, take your time," Salvanius replied in a gracious manner. "I'll have my men escort you, there has been an unfortunate incident concerning corruption here... I've lost dear friends and it would be wise for me to ensure the safety of my brother's associates."
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! Elijah said in his head as several of Salvanius' knights surrounded him.
He knew that he had little choice in the matter and accepted the fact that he just had to play along with the man’s whims until he could find a way out of this mess.
At least the menace in his pocket had finally quieted down…
“By your leave, your holiness.” Elijah said with a deeper bow while trying to suppress a sigh.
Elijah turned around and continued to make his way towards the tavern
Turning around to continue towards the tavern, the sea of people once again parted, giving him and the knights a wide berth while the human thought on how he was going to get out of this mess. He knew that he had to tread carefully, as one false move could mean not only his grizzly demise, but everyone else in his ragtag crew.
Sucking a deep breath, Elijah steeled himself for whatever was to come, and set out to make the best of a bad situation.
The helmed woman that knelt beside Salvanius immediately stood up and marched right next to Elijah in order to escort him to the Tavern.
"I am Captain Rhea of Salvanius' personal guard," she introduced herself firmly. "I apologize for the inconvenience, but we have recently lost several of our comrades to a corrupted abomination that has risen through strange and unknown means. We are on high alert and must ensure the safety of everyone within the Town now that it effectively has no Mayor."
As they walked, Captain Rhea's gaze fixed on Elijah, her expression growing increasingly curious. Captain Rhea's suspicion was clear in her voice as she questioned Elijah during their walk to the tavern, escorted by four of Salvanius' knights. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is it that caught the attention of Salvanius' brother? His Holiness, Theodius, appeared to hold you in high regard as a healer. Can you tell me more about that?"
Elijah paused for a moment, considering how to respond. He didn't want to reveal too much about his true background, as he knew that information could potentially make the woman freak out and declare him a heretic.
Burning on at the stake wasn’t exactly on his to do list.
"I… I've had quite a bit of practice as a healer." He carefully selected his words. "I shared some knowledge with Theodius in order to assist with his comprehension of the inner workings of the body."
"I wanted to assist in any way I could with his mission of saving as many warriors as possible in the fight against the corrupted and, uh, traitor gods," Elijah stammered, trying to recall the reason for the conflict but correcting himself in the end.
Captain Rhea listened intently to Elijah's answers, her expression remaining neutral as she processed his words. She didn't seem entirely convinced by his explanation, but it also seemed that she couldn't find any fault in it.
Pausing for a moment, the Captain kept walking as she studied Elijah's face as if she was trying to read his thoughts. "I see," she said slowly. "I will have to take your word for it, but I must remind you that we are in a rather precarious situation."
She then gave a curt nod, signaling the end of the questioning. But it was clear that she would keep an eye on Elijah and his actions.
Which was good enough for him to be honest.
All Elijah needed was just enough plausible deniability to not be executed out of hand and he was set. He was fairly certain there was no way they’d ever find out he was responsible for the deaths of her comrades, and felt like she was more cautious about her charge as a bodyguard.
Which to be honest, he couldn’t disagree with. Who the hell would trust some weird looking stranger that managed to seduce the person you’re protecting with the prospect of strange new knowledge right after your friends were horribly killed?
Certainly not fucking him.
But now that he was thinking about it, was he really responsible for ALL of their deaths?
Sure he blasted a few of them, but they were pretty much dead anyways after seeing how that… THING handled an entire group of them.
Silence reigned as they neared the tavern and just outside, Elijah could see Azeline speaking to the rest of the crew panicked movements.
“HEY GUYS! I’M NOT DEAD!!” He yelled in an annoyingly jovial manner while waving his arm in the air.
