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The Big Oof! Volume 1 Chapter 33: A Good Deal
🕑 Added 2023-03-22 08:15:12 +0000 UTCThis planet’s star was already resting on top of the horizon when the crew found themselves back on the ferry with desolate expressions on their faces. However, Yana hummed happily as she zipped back and forth inspecting every inch of the odd ship. Looking back at her two strange servants, the fairy immediately sped up and popped up in front of them.
Yana flitted around them excitedly, her wings a blur of color in the fading light. "Well, that was fun! Don'tcha think so?" she chirped, clearly unconcerned by their somber moods.
Elijah's eyes slowly panned over to the happy fairy and let out a sigh in derision. "Fun isn't exactly how I would describe it," he muttered quietly.
“Task failed successfully.” Bennett interjected, staring out towards further along the river at the ships waiting to dock.
Looking back at them with a puzzled expression, Yana fluttered upwards and landed on Elijah's head. "Well I thought it was great! You got what you wanted, I got what I wanted and no one important died!” She said in usually cheerful demeanor.
“And what was it that you wanted, pray tell?” It was Azeline’s turn to speak up as she looked over at Yana, exhaustedly.
With a satisfied look, Yana grabbed a bundle of Elijah’s hair and leaned in Azelines direction. “That arrogant whelp got put in his place and I got to boil that one idiot's brain!” She nearly yelled with her voice dripping with excitement. “I call that an absolute win!”
As Yana's cheerful chatter grew louder, Elijah couldn't help but notice the ferryman's jaw hanging open in shock as he stared at the group. The rest of the crew soon followed suit, turning their heads to glare at the hapless man who began to whimper in fear under their intense gaze.
The tiny fairy darted forth and positioned herself in front of the ferryman, causing him to lean back in fear. “Hey idiot, were you eavesdropping on us?" she asked in an annoying, yet menacing tone. "Or do I need to boil someone else's brain?" Yana floated even closer to the man's face until he fell back onto the deck.
“I didn’ hear nuffin’!” He nearly sobbed. “ I swears it!”
Elijah got up from his seated position and slowly headed toward the terrified man. "Do you, now?"
The Ferryman had taken this particular man and his group across the river multiple times now and he always knew he was quite large. But now that he was lumbering over to him at full height, he realized that he was looking at a giant.
Elijah towered over the cowering ferryman, his imposing presence making the man shrink back in fear. Crouching down to get to eye level with his target, he allowed a soft smile to spread across his face, though his eyes remained hard and cold as he held the ferryman’s gaze.
“Nothing, huh?” Elijah remarked, his voice deceptively calm. "What’s your name?" He asked, slowly drawing a black, single-edged blade from its sheath from his belt.
Terror filled the poor ferryman as his eyes locked onto the void-like edge. “R-Rayed, my-my lord!” He answered nervously.
"Ah a good name," Elijah said, his voice dropping to a menacing whisper. “Well Rayed, do you want to know what my people do to people who’ve seen too much?." Elijah's eyes glinted with malice as he leaned in closer to Rayed.
“S-seen wut, sir? All I seen ‘ere was 2 upstanding gentle-mens and a lady talk ‘bout the fine intricacies of ale!” The ferryman basically shouted as he felt the cold steel of the blade against the skin of his face.
"Haha! Good! Good answer, Rayed!" Elijah exclaimed, as he put a hand to his own face. "I like it when people know how to take a hint!" He sheathed his blade and stood up, patting Rayed on the shoulder.
Letting out a heavy sigh of relief, Rayed looked around to see each one of the members of the giants group were all standing around him, giving the same menacing look. The little fluttering being however, was still close to his face and it freaked him the hell out. What was especially disturbing was how it examined him with those violet pupil-less eyes as if they were sizing up a meal…
Suddenly the being violently twitched forward as if it was going to throw a punch, causing Rayed to flinch and fall backwards under the wooden guard rail. With a splash, the poor man rolled into the cold water below, but luckily he managed to keep a grip onto the side of the ferry until he managed to pull himself up. Coughing and sputtering, Rayed clung to the wooden railing while looking up in fear at violet, pupil-less eyes, squinting in mirth as the being laughed at his misfortune.
“Hahahaha! What an idiot!” Yana said jovially as she fluttered around Rayed's head, her wings buzzing with excitement. “That's what you get!!.” She sneered before zipping back over to Elijah.
Too scared to grumble, Ferryman Rayed remained silent as noticed they were nearing the dock and unsteadily got to work. But as he looked back, he saw that the giant was still staring him down at him with that same eerie smile. The ferryman’s fear only increased as he realized that these people were not to be trifled with and decided to completely scrub this encounter from his mind.
“God you’re such a dick sometimes.” Bennett said with a hint of amusement in his voice.
Elijah looked at the Engineer in annoyance before shifting his gaze towards Yana. “Ya Yana, you didn’t have to punk him so hard!” He redirected blame to the tiny fairy on his shoulder.
Yana simply shrugged her shoulders in response, her mischievous grin still present on her face. “Hey, he was asking for it with that stupid look on his face.” She defended herself. “Besides, it was funny.”
Azeline stepped forward, her eyes scanning over Rayed and saw he was busy tying the ferry to the dock before turning back to the group. “So… should we just go back to the tavern?” she asked, crossing her arms. “With Simol dead, we still need to figure out how to get out of this trash pit of a town.” She glanced at the large ship further down the river that was being loaded with cargo and furrowed her brow at the strange square object that was being pulled up with a rope.
It looked oddly familiar
But before she could think any further about it, Elijah yanked her attention away "Yana and I are going to do some prep on our…” He stopped talking and looked back at the Ferryman as he finished mooring. “Little thug issue and we’ll meet you back at the Tavern for some food and ale.” Elijah finished before digging into his pocket and pulling out a singular silver coin.
“Don’t give me a reason to find you, RAYED.” Elijah said as he handed it to the Ferryman and stepped onto land.
Rayed’s eyes bulged from his face as he grabbed the singular coin and nodded fervently. “I don’t know who or what yer talking about!!!”
Nodding in satisfaction, Elijah looked back at the group and gestured for them to follow him. "Come on, we don’t have much daylight left," he said, leading the way towards the center of town.
As they walked, Bennett brought a hand to his chin and looked at Yana who was still perched on Elijah’s shoulder. "So, what kind of prep are we talking about?" the engineer asked curiously
Yana had an equally bewildered expression as she crossed her legs and hummed. "Will it be fun?" she asked while giving Elijah a questioning look.
Elijah grinned, his eyes shining evilly. "Oh, it's going to be very fun," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "We're going to pay a visit to our green haired friend’s little hideout before Lady Rhea and her goons search the place." He continued while putting his hand into his jacket and pulling out a bloodied sigil that belonged to a slain Knight.
Both Bennett and Azeline’s eyes went wide, but it was Azeline who spoke up as she gave a quiet laugh. “Oh wow… Of course you would.” She chuckled, not even remotely surprised her new ‘captain’ would come up with something so devious.
“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that Eli?” Bennett said matter of factly as they entered the center of town.
Simply shrugging at the accusation, Elijah simply gave a small smirk. “Hey man, I’m just knocking out two birds with one stone.” He said, trying to contain his laughter.
Azeline looked at Elijah with tired, yet judging eyes, “Uh huh… and they’re just a convenient scapegoat?” She said derisively. “Please be careful… I don’t particularly want to be tortured for months on end and then burned alive.”
Feigning hurt, Elijah put both his hands on his heart, while Yana mimicked the action, still perched on his shoulder. “My lady! You wound me!” He said exaggeratedly. “Have I not weaseled my way out of an impossible situation before?” Elijah turned his body and theatrically motioned his hand down the street with Yana still copying him with crossed legs “After all we’ve been through, do you not trust me to finesse the powers that be into believing our enemies are responsible for our own wrong doings?”
Rolling her eyes, Azeline couldn't help but let out a small chuckle."I trust you to cause chaos and mayhem wherever you go," she said, trying to keep a straight face. "but, I suppose you have a point," she admitted.
Bennett chimed in with a sigh, "I guess we're really doing this, huh?” He said as they all continued walking, “Wait, are we the bad guys???” The engineer suddenly asked, bringing his hand to his chin.
Elijah let out a bark of laughter. "Bad guys? Ben, we are the chaotic neutral at best," he said with a trying to maintain a straight face, but failing. "We're just doing what needs to be done to survive in this shithole of a world."
Yana suddenly buzzed up off of Elijah's shoulder and floated backwards between him and Azeline. "Chaos? I like chaos!" she chimed in with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
Letting out a sigh, Azeline turned her head towards Bennett with a tired look on her face. “Well, seeing as they’re going to go off and ruin people's lives, what do you wanna do while we wait?” She asked with a hint of resignation in her voice.
Furrowing his brow, Bennett’s eyes scanned the town center until they settled on a small shop with strange markings etched into the wood. The markings looked familiar, somewhat similar to the ones he had seen on Salvanius' sword. "Actually," he said, his frown turning into a grin, "I think I might go check out that store over there.”
Surprise seemed to wash over Azeline as she followed his gaze to see that he wanted to go into the magic shop. “Really?” She asked
Despite her initial skepticism, she could see the curiosity burning in his eyes and couldn't help but feel intrigued as to why he was interested in a shop at the ass end of nowhere. "But why?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Surely there isn’t anything of importance that they could teach or sell you that you already don't know."
Bennett just shrugged. "I mean, we're in a town full of magic and weird stuff, so I might as well check it out," he said, breaking off from the group and making his way towards the shop.
Curiosity seemed to get the better of her, as Azeline nodded slowly, still not fully convinced but willing to see where the surly man would do in there. Truth be told, she wasn’t very knowledgeable in the ways of the arcane beyond the physical manipulation of mana and her affinity for earth. However, she started to wonder what kind of wares the shop had to offer and if they had anything interesting.
“Alright, meet us at the Tavern after nightfall, I suppose.” Azeline spoke to Elijah and Yana before walking off after Bennett.
Elijah snorted in amusement as he turned and started walking further down the street. “You ready to fuck some people over?” He asked, as Yana floated over to the pocket of his jacket.
Yana simply responded with a small giggle as she snuggled into her spot.
-
As Azeline and Bennett entered the magic shop, they were immediately greeted by the heady scent of exotic incense and the sight of a singular flickering orb. The thing hung suspended by a rope and illuminated the entire shop showing it was much larger on the inside than it had appeared from the street. Everywhere they looked they saw high quality wooden tables full of mysterious items and shelves that stretched high up to the ceiling full of colorful and ornate objects.
The walls were adorned with tapestries depicting scenes of dragons, unicorns, and other mystical creatures. Beneath their feet was a plush, velvety carpet that seemed to shift and move with each step, giving way to their weight like pillows even though it was obviously on top of wooden flooring. Turning their gaze to the shopkeeper, the two saw a petite woman with long flowing white hair, but what was most interesting was her extraordinarily long ears. The shopkeeper sat hunched over a desk in the back of the shop, squinting her eyes at a piece of parchment right next to what looked like a small stack of tomes.
“Ah yes, yes. I’ll be with you shortly.” The woman said while waving her hand dismissively. “Now how did this damned spell go…?” She muttered to herself as her eyes went to the top of the parchment.
Azeline was caught by complete surprise, she had expected a mockery of a store, but instead she found a proper magical store with what looked like a skilled and knowledgeable mage at the counter. Taking in the sight of the tapestries and the plush carpet with wonder, Azeline looked over at Bennett and saw that he had a mixed reaction. He was both completely confused and eager to explore. She watched as the man inquisitively continued to lift his foot off of the carpet and onto the wooden floor boards, before pressing his foot onto the carpet once more.
Stepping onto the wooden floorboards, Bennett knelt down to examine the plush purple carpet and ran his fingers through the coarse fibers before slowly lifting it up. He had expected to find some kind of odd rubber-like material underneath, but only more floorboards were revealed underneath. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head in surprise as he let out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding and started scratching his head in befuddlement.
Completely stumped, he pursed his lips and beelined it over to the counter where the shopkeeper was still reading. “Why is it so soft?” He asked, furrowing his brow at the woman.
The shopkeeper didn’t bother looking up from her parchment and clicked her tongue in annoyance. “I said I’d be right with you, don’t you know how to be- … oh.” She started to scold the seemingly impudent customer, but stopped when she looked up. “Oh my, you’re quite… large.”
Frazzled by the towering man, the shopkeeper looked over at Azeline for a moment before fixating on Bennett once more. “A uh… curse mayhaps? Or was this a case of tinkering gone wrong?” She looked him up and down analytically. “Or perhaps gone right? I can’t tell…” the Shopkeeper furrowed her brow and covered her mouth with a dainty hand. “But Lords and Ladies throughout the realm would pay a FORTUNE for whatever happened to you…”
It took a minute for Bennett to figure out what in the world the petite woman was talking about, but he simply replied with a raised eyebrow. “I was born this way.” He said in an unamused voice.
“Born that way? Huh…?” The shopkeeper responded, still rubbing her mouth with the gears turning in her head. “A curse or spell at birth won’t be as profitable or marketable, but they’d pay an arm and a leg to secure their lineage if I can figure what’s afflicting you out.”
Unable to stop her eyes from rolling, Azeline decided to interject. "He’s not afflicted by anything," she interjected, her voice laced with annoyance. "I believe he was born this way naturally."
Deflating from the reality check, the Shopkeeper gave both of them a sneer before turning back to reading her parchment. "Ah, is that so? Well, continue to browse my wares and let me know when you’re ready to buy something.” She said with disdain.
Bennett’s eyes started twitching in agitation as the woman once again dismissed him so readily, but luckily he knew what type of person she was. Putting his hand in his pocket, the engineer pulled out his datapad and with a few taps a rhythmic melody started playing.
“We’re no strangers to love! You know the rules and so do I!”
Snapping her head up to find out where the source of the enchanting melodies were coming from, the Shopkeeper was met with a thin rectangular box in the hands of the giant. The magical tool in his hand had a smooth and flat surface that was adorned with glowing symbols and… moving colorful paintings! Never in her life had she seen a painting this realistic, let alone one that moved in a surreal life like fashion.
“Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around and! Desert you!”
“What manner of tool is this!?!?” She nearly yelled and reached out to grab it, but Bennett pulled it away, causing the woman to fall flat on top of the desk. “You must give it to me! NOW!” She nearly screeched.
A smug look was spread across Bennetts face as he looked down at the shopkeeper from his towering height, still holding the device out of her reach. The woman came scrambling around the desk and started jumping for the thing, but she just couldn’t quite make it up where he was holding it up. "I don't think so," he said with a malicious chuckle.
“You must give it to me! You don’t understand the wonders that dwell within your hands!” She pleaded, rapidness creeping into her voice as she looked up at Bennett with a crazed look.
Azeline simply just stared at the towering man with a judging look before letting out a sigh of derision. As awe inspiring as those miraculous tools were, she was all but used to them, her companions would frequently show her various esoteric ‘vi-de-ohs’ that would leave both of them cackling like morons. So even though she thoroughly enjoyed those magical forms of entertainment, the novelty had long since been lost on her.
The shopkeeper persistently kept jumping for the device, flailing wildly and frantically with each attempt. One such leap caused her to stumble into a nearby shelf full of vials and power causing them to shake and rattle dangerously. "You ignorant fool! You cannot comprehend the intricate magicks that is behind the item in your possession!!" she hissed, her eyes wide with a mixture of excitement and desperation. “Give it to me before you hurt yourself!”
However, Bennett simply let out a deep laugh as he continued to dangle the datapad just out of her reach in a tantalizing manner. "You’re not getting anything," he said playfully, enjoying the teasing. "I’m not gonna give it to you, but…" He continued with a smirk. “You answer a few of my questions and I’ll tell you where I got it.”
Coming to a sudden halt, The shopkeeper stared at him with near bloodshot eyes and remained silent for a few moments.
“DEAL!”
Comments
prentice barry
So all their shit has been stolen by that gang including their 3d printer, and they are going to have to go on a quest to hopefully get it all back before it’s broken or lost, yeah?
