kumerish
patreon
A Year in Review: My Year in Projects
🕑 Added 2023-12-19 14:11:03 +0000 UTCHello all,
Whew.
Somehow, suddenly, and bewilderingly it's December again.
I figured sitting down to write my annual "Year in Review" would be a decent salve for the end-of-the-year existential-crisis I feel hiding amongst the branches of the Christmas tree. I sat down at my computer and searched through the tags on my patreon to try and find what sort of format these posts have followed in the past and, to my surprise, I discovered that I'd only done this once before in 2021! Despite my best intentions and the false memory of doing so, I imagine I was too busy in 2022 to get a reflective moment to carry on this "tradition".
Alas, let's establish this tradition anew and pretend that I was eloquent and interesting and that my brevity was admirable in 2022. Given the mood I am in, there's no hope for 2023's review being quite so to-the-point but feel free to hit the small X in your corner once you need some air.
So, what is this? Well, it's a sort of exercise in recalling how I felt about all that I've done this year and a hope to share what I've particularly enjoyed or found meaningful - both about my own work and others art. This first post will be about my own year through the lens of what I made. The next post will be about the art, films, comics, or books I've enjoyed this year. Then, finally, the ghost of Christmas futures will visit and talk about what I expect my 2024(!) to look like.
What the hell was 2023? It doesn't feel like I had a years worth of whatever it was. Sitting here, plumbing my memory, I've turned to my social media feeds to help dredge up some recollections but there's not much coming to me which, I guess, says a lot about the year I've had.
The year began with 3 months of being chained to my desk in order to finish The Gulf. After finishing the book, I felt myself, for the first time, completely uninterested in comics. I was entirely burnt out and spent a month and a half travelling and prioritising living. I used to characterise this "living" as a way to fill my tank with the creative juices it takes to make art but I've found myself moving beyond quantifying how I spend my time in such terms. While I am lucky that I get to draw my silly little books and eek out a living doing so, the books do not have a value greater than my own experience of being alive on this exhausting but beautiful little planet. Viewing my time away from the desk as just fuel for the drafting table is toxic and has detracted from the moment. Frankly, my silly little comics are not important enough to allow them to exert such a strong gravitational pull.
In my doldrums, I had wondered if I'd even want to continue Blind Alley but, of course, eventually, my mind wandered to the alley (and to other places) and I felt a desire to sit, draw, and tell stories again. Luckily this coincided with needing to finish the years strips for the second Blind Alley collection. Much like the first book, the reception to this second book completely surprised me. I know in some abstract sort of way that people value and look forward to Blind Alley but mostly living off of self-publishing books was not something I had imagined as possible for a second year in a row. It may not be much but knowing I can mostly afford my rent, the odd book, and a weekly baked good and coffee at my favourite cafe feels like living to me.
Somewhere in this period I decided to try drawing again with a nib pen and I now find I am addicted to the scratch of ink across paper. Whenever I pick up one of my Winsor & Newton 8 fine-liners and put its felt-tip the page I cannot wait to put the cap back on; how I managed to draw a whole book and 200-something strips of Blind Alley with such an implement is beyond me! The nib (Tachikawa G Pen) encourages interesting and spontaneous marks and I've felt the way I think of drawing evolving as I use it. There's just no feeling quite like the nib on paper and the ecstatic unpredictability of ink as it drags and bumps against the tooth of the paper. Even aside from the enjoyment of drawing with such a tool, when I consider the rise of "AI art" and the onslaught of soulless digital images we're exposed to daily, I feel a strong desire to distance myself from working on the computer. There's something in the fact that one cannot entirely control a physical medium that has finally allowed me to rid myself of the idea that a drawing has to be clean or perfect. Drawing a line and hitting Ctrl + Z over and over until it's "right" just doesn't feel like drawing to me anymore; it's something that enables my worst tendencies as an artist (to wish for perfection despite always having had a heavy hand, a fraying line, and a "messy" or dashed off quality in all of my work). Often those human and messy qualities are what i am drawn to in my favourite artists' works - why shouldn't I allow myself the same latitude?
The dull labour of packing Blind Alley orders as well as packing up I and my partners home occupied most of the summer. Naively, I expected that packing our place up for subletters would be less work than actually moving house but I was so wrong I can only find it funny now. I've realized my coping method for most everything in my life (including long projects) is just to tell myself, "it won't possibly take longer than a week or so" endlessly.
Once everything was in its box, I finally had time to start Brambles. All year I had looked forward to starting this silly little strip. What it is - down to how it would look, the format of it, or even how it would be published, was, and still remains, up in the air. It's a story I have wanted to tell for ages. It's been gratifying to step from the alley into another world. I am inspired by the possibilities this little fantasy holds. If I am entirely honest, the way I am releasing it feels vaguely anti-climatic. This first chapter is all table-setting and I am fairly confident it would be a much more satisfying single-sitting read. Expect a complete "Chapter One" pdf once the last strip publishes in February. Alas - this is the only conceivable way to release it for the time being; the monthly patreon payout is solely what allows me to prioritise a project like this. Given the publishing landscape, this genuinely feels like the only way I can tell this sort of story and get a bit of money doing so. There are no publishers interested in this sort of ongoing "going for a walk" style of storytelling (all credit to a twitter user who first used this phrase) which I find depressing. It often takes a long time to figure out what a story is and us North American creators are expected to know and share something exacting from the beginning; there's no space for a story that meanders or is ensemble based (think Pogo, Moomin, or even Naruto).
To the side of Brambles, I've been spending a lot of time writing what I hope to be my next graphic novel. After completing my first draft of the script, I am now taking some time away from it to let the story settle. That and 2024 is shaping up to be a busy year that is thankfully full of bite-sized projects. Part of me cannot fathom committing to working on another 300 page book quite yet. So, for the time being I am quite content doing little "style exploration" drawings for the project and calling it a day.
I am extremely grateful to those that support me on this patreon. Like, and this isn't an overstatement, you've actually changed my life. Your support has encouraged and enabled me to take the time to explore my own projects - Blind Alley and Brambles both wouldn't exist without you. Your continued support has encouraged me to get pie in the sky with how I want to write and release comics - more on that soon.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
That was, mostly, 2023.
All the best,
Adam
Comments
Adam
Thank you!!
G R Cano
Adam, I loved getting the emails for brambles. I really enjoy all your work, thank you.
Adam
Oh I love that you'd do that! A homemade DIY brambles zine haha. In all honesty........I have plans for an (eventual) physical edition of brambles that I am *very* excited about. :o)
Erik Missio
Love the idea of a collected pdf in february! (I may quietly print it for reading as I am trying to keep my reading time and my screen time separate. But I’ll still buy a printed edition if you ever release one, of course!)
