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[TWS] Chapter 110 – An Unexpected Connection [HIDDEN]

🕑 Added 2021-10-15 10:56:58 +0000 UTC

Comments

James A. Murphy

Just wanted to point out here in this and the next chapter the author does something clever, what's common in stories like this is to make the MC a two-dimensional paragon of goodness, that kind of thing is popular in the genre but as a form or storytelling its lazy, what the author did here is more complicated and build a more complicated character, before he moved he asked the captain what he wanted to do before he moved again he asked the party and they're answers were nuanced and not vapid, in the next chapter he consults with his family having clearly realized rushing headlong into this could hurt everyone he cares about, and after talking to wiser people than him they show him how to do the right thing the right way that makes a better story and for better characters so good job in making your story and characters better

Dutch Palmer

Correction: First of all, we need to find a safe place Risvi. --> First of all, we need to find a safe place for Risvi. (or even better) First off, we need to get Risvi to a safe place.

Thanks for the chapter

Michael Shuble

He’s about to open a whole case of whoop ass

Nah! Been around for awhile. I just caught that one issue. I'm proofreading four other novels though... Couldn't help myself 8^)

Eroyla Drago

New family member?

Hey Saileri! Hope this helps! A moment later, you will pop back out ner that box. => A moment later, you will pop back out near that box. Thanks for the chapter!


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