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Chapter 26: What’s better than you with your two homies out in the field grinding achievements?
🕑 Added 2023-09-26 04:12:49 +0000 UTC“So my idea is this: We need to get more achievements. It seems like everyone and their mother in this game have more achievements than us. We saw with the 100 pushups that it isn’t even that hard, you just have to be creative. So I say this. Instead of grinding for silk and crystals, let’s try getting achievements,” Brian said.
“I agree. Let’s do that instead. Lucas is dead weight anyways while grinding,” Jack said.
Lucas pretended to raise a middle finger from his fingerless hand.
“We might unlock some kind of skill which heals Lucas. So let’s get started. Anyone have any ideas?” Brian said.
There was silence.
“Okay. I got something. The system loves 100. Like 100 pushups achievement. Or kill 100 Balloon Monsters. Let’s try doing different things 100 times. Let’s try 100 squats now!” Jack said.
They formed in a triangle and did squats 100 times.
Nothing happened.
“Maybe we have to do it 1000 times in a row,” Brian said.
They did 1000 more squats.
“Nine hundred ninety nine. One fucking thousand!” All three chanted at the same time. After finishing the last rep, they all dropped to the ground in cramps.
Nothing happened.
“Fuck you Brian! What a shit idea!” Lucas said.
“Don’t hate the player, hate the game,” Brian said.
“I love the game. I shall hate you instead,” Jack said.
“Gayspeare,” Brian said.
“What?” Lucas said.
“Oh forgot to tell you. Gayboy here got two ranks in the skill Poetry. That means he’s gay,” Brian said.
“Fuck all y’all. Wait until I poetry my way into every bitch ear with my tongue,” Jack said, while thinking about Miranda.
“The fuck does that mean?” Lucas said.
“Shut up, chess geek,” Jack said.
“Fuck you,” Lucas said.
The next idea they got was running 10 kilometers, which all three of them promptly refused to do because of sore legs.
“Climbing one of these tall ass trees?” Lucas said.
“Okay, I’ll try,” Brian said.
Brian climbed and climbed until he reached the top of the tree. The view was breathtaking. He could see the green canopy. He could see the stone plaza and stone walls in the distance. He could see the farther inland zone. And he also saw something new: The innermost ring of zones, the one they were in right now, had green trees. The one farther away in the wolf circle ring had yellow leaves trees. But he could faintly see that the one farther inland had trees with blue leaves.
Also, he received no achievement or reward.
He got down safely and explained his discovery.
“Cool shit,” Jack said.
They kept trying new things.
Blunt Force Resistance: Rank 1
“I fucking knew it! I told you two this wasn’t a shit idea! You owe me a thousand bucks each!” Lucas yelled.
“Holy shit, it actually worked,” Jack said.
Brian was in too much pain to respond. He had just been punched repeatedly in the stomach. Even though he tensed up during each punch, it still hurt a lot.
“Now it’s you two’s turns!” Brian said. He punched Jack in the stomach. Jack wasn’t ready for it and had the air punched out of him.
After a lot of pain and suffering, they decided to take a break from getting achievements now that all three of them had the new skill.
“This is taking us nowhere. I feel like we’re stuck. We gotta get that final skill point. Mana is the way to go,” Jack said.
“I’m tired of work. Let’s just take a break and do some grinding. I want skill crystals,” Lucas said.
“Speaking of that. I had an idea about grinding. Eugene’s team all use spears. I know we just bought three machetes at the pawnshop and are using that now. But I think we should try out spears. It might be safer because of the extra range,” Jack said.
And so they started grinding for a little while with spears.
“We’ve gotta stop this,” Brian suddenly said, and stabbed his spear into the ground after killing a butterfly monster.
“Why? What’s wrong?” Jack said.
“Yes, the spears give us more range. But if you aren’t super accurate and make a single mistake and miss, there is almost no recovery. With the machete when I missed, it still had a wider area of attack. So it was more likely to hit the target, even if partially. And if you missed it was faster to attack again. With the spear, there is none of that. Also, the spear only has one lethal point. The machete has the entire blade. I think the machete is just more safe,” Brian said.
“I agree. Spear is hella hard. Especially when you can only use one hand,” Lucas said.
“Okay. Then let’s stick with machetes. I feel more badass with machetes anyways. But I think if a man with a spear fought a man with a machete, the spear guy would win,” Jack said.
“Yeah. That might be the case. But we are talking about grinding monsters. In that case if we ever came up against one of the football team members it would come down to guns anyways,” Brian said.
“Yeah yeah. Okay I get it it. Anyways, I have a new idea. I know how we can get a skill point. Do you remember that idea I had about taking one of the hispanics hostage and sending them inside a new zone with a camera strapped to him?” Jack said.
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Jack:
Knife Fighting: Rank 1
Knife Fighting: Rank 2
Python (programming language): Rank 1
Mana Generation: Rank 1
Sand to Glass Conversion Mana Blueprint: Rank 1
Healing Mana Blueprint: Rank 1
Origami: Rank 1
Enhanced Bodily Recovery: Rank 1
Speed Counting: Rank 1
Enemy Weakness Identification: Rank 1
Poetry: Rank 2
Blueprint visualizer: Rank 1
Mana Sense: Rank 1
Blunt Force Resistance: Rank 1
Pool: Rank 1
Brian:
Shield Defending: Rank 1
Marksmanship (pistol): Rank 1
Right Arm Increased Strength: Rank 1
Mana manipulation: Rank 1
Mana Sense: Rank 1
Enhanced Propriosense in Toes: Rank 1
Enhanced Bodily Recovery: Rank 1
Flame Shield Dispel: Rank 1
Cryptography: Rank 1
Enemy Pattern Recognition: Rank 1
Airplane Pilot: Rank 1
Mana Generation: Rank 1
Blunt Force Resistance: Rank 1
Finnish: Rank 1
Lucas:
Insect Movement Control: Rank 1
Enlarged Penis: Rank 1
Mana sense: Rank 1
Mana Manipulation: Rank 1
Surfing: Rank 1
Arithmetic: Rank 1
Chess: Rank 1
Human Interpersonal Non-verbal Bodily Social Behaviors Enhanced Perception: Rank 1
Blunt Force Resistance: Rank 1
Changing car tires: Rank 1
Water Mana Affinity: Rank 1
Walking: Rank 1
