Mila
patreon
Golden (Revamped Version): Sneak Peek — 2.
🕑 Added 2024-10-10 18:09:54 +0000 UTCAn insight into the environment for the nurse MCs, and the light mode version of this game.
I'd also love to know thoughts on the writing so far.
Comments
Mila
Thank you so much! It’s so great getting your feedback, it makes me know I’m going in the right direction :)
Mila
Context: it’s just an opening scene.
Skippy Hugo
Honestly, without context, it makes it hard to determine
Maydayknight
I really like it Mila!! ^^ Already the MC seems like they have characterization (opinions on how others might view his thoughts, etc). Other than that, the prose is crisp, some good imagery without over using it, varied sentences/structures so that it feels natural and to keep the reader engaged (when it's all the same like length and punctuation it can sort of lull the reader and they focus less!) Really looking forward to it, I know it's gonna be awesome! :)))
