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STORMWEAVER Chapter 18 WIP I have to toss, so I thought you guys would like to see it š
🕑 Added 2024-06-25 15:39:19 +0000 UTCI got a like 2k words into this chapter before I remembered that Temporal Step is a charged Ability (which means I also have to modify the training session earlier).
On the plus side, hopefully this helps some of you hopeful writers realize that not even the pros keep track of everything well hahaha.
Also it was going to be such a fun exchange, so I want Patrons at least to enjoy it.
Maybe we know what Temporal Step II or III does now š
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Chapter 18
The world warped around Rei. In a blink of time nonexistent he saw again the faces of his hole visions, the myriad a youthful men and women alike, of all races, sizes, and settings. He focused, focused like heād be working so, so hard on for weeks now, willing himself to stay present, to stay aware of the solid feel of matter beneath his back foot and promise of knowing it again on his front. In an instant he saw everything. Saw the woods and the rain and sodden grass. Saw the path of destruction he and Laurent had ripped through the trees, and the distant ring of the horizon the field projected all around them. He even caught the briefest flash of the fight still raging between Jetway and the others. Aria was in midair with teeth bared, shield first and spear drawn back to strike. Logan had been laid out, Honorisā axe in the middle of spinning away. Catcher and Chancery were still on their feet, closing in on the S-Rankāwhose green-brown armor and white vysetrium Rei glimpsed for the first time in truthāas Wainwright crouched in a ready stance in their midst, her spear a vibrant bolt of lightning in held in both hands.
And then it all pulled into that bottomless point in front of Rei, leaving the world empty and nothing for less time than he thought oneās mind should register before time and light returned to his surroundings with an expanding blast of color.
And not even Kalus LaurentāS-Ranked Pawn-Class that he wasācould be totally prepared for his simultaneous vanishing and reappearance into the solid nature of reality.
To be fair, the Atypical had whipped around to face where Rei had been. The Abilityās vocal command had warned him that something was happening, and heād made himself as prepared as he could, but there was no degree of Speed that could completely set one for the instant nature of Temporal Stepās jump. His Cognition should have compensated, allowing him to correct, but either Laurent hadnāt engaged the spec fully so as to make the assessment a bit more leveled, or the combination of the lack of information, confusion, and his opponentās sudden disappearance was enough to momentarily overpower even the S-Rankās processing. Likely the former, Rei just had time to decide, having seen more than one of his new trainerās recent professional matches.
Whatever the case, however, the critical factor was something that no User, no matter their specs, could have anticipated: the fact that Rei hadnāt āSteppedā into the space before Laurent, into the area the Atypical had whirled around to face the vocal command had been spoken.
Instead, Rei had jumped right passed the man, having focused on the ground heād pretended he could see between the manās feet through the rain, ending up back to back with him and fully ready to take advantage of the trick.
Nausea roiled up inside Reiās gut as he whirled, shield swing around. It was hardly the violent degree of illness it had once been, though, and he clamped hold of it with hardly a thought even as he spun. To his great thrill he found Laurent still facing away from him, the manās attention not have strayed from the place Rei had been rather than anywhere else. In that instant, Rei knew he would land his hit. Long as it was, Triumverantās staff didnāt have the room to maneuver to block. He was inside Laurentās guard. Even if the shield bounced harmlessly off the Pawn-Classā impenetrable reactive shield, even if he was sent flying when the retaliatory blow came, he would land his hit.
Then came the barest blink of shifting metal, and Rei struck narrow, red-and-black steel with the sound of a gong.
BOOONG!
Intent as heād been on just getting the strike, he hadnāt set his feet to brace himself, so the impact sent Rei staggering back as the shield rebounded. He only found his footing after several stumbling strides, momentarily confused as to what had happened.
For once, his Cognition wasnāt ahead of his own knowledge, and Rei cursed even as his pulse started to race again, taking in the sight before him that he realized he should have expected.
Kalus Laurent hadnāt moved from where heād seemed to be trying to find Rei through the storm. He hadnāt turned around, nor even lifted from the ready crouch heād slipped into the moment heād obviously realized something was off. For the first time now that he had a good look at the sergeant majorās back, Rei saw the narrow lines of green staggered along Triumverantās plated spine, gleaming off the wet metal of the shorter, 1-inch spikes that adorned each intricate section. Larger plates moved and flexed in a protective imitation of shoulder blades, and the Styron particles rippled like individual strands of hair in the glowing vysetrium tail of his helmet.
Rei barely registered any of it, too busy was he glaring at the staff the man still held in both hands.
Or what had been, a staff, at leastā¦
Triumverant had changed. Quick as thought, the weapon no longer formed the solid, slim shape of the capped shaft Laurent had been using to beat him silly for the past quarter hour. Instead, the twin rings of vysetrium had split and formed two trailing, flexible lines connecting the three equally-sized partitions of cylindrical steel that had original formed the length of the weapon. The center of this trio was still in front of Kalus, pulled up tight against his chest
The other two, however, where behind him, one held in each hand over one shoulder and up at an angle from around lower back, forming the defensive X of crossed metal that Shido had bounced off of so solidly the shield might as well have been made of rubber.
āDammit,ā Rei grumbled once as Laurent finally started to stand straight and turn. With a practiced whip and twist of one wrist, Triumverant whirled, the sansetsukonāthe three-part staff the weapon had becomeāfolding over itself to snap into the waiting grasp of the manās right hand.
With his left, the sergeant major pointed a finger at Rei.
āOkay, Wardā¦ā Laurent sounded somewhere between shocked and amazing. āIāll biteā¦ What the hell was that??ā
Rei had opened his mouth to answer, but a voice interrupted him before he could get the words out.
āSomething I would like to know myself,ā the call came from above, calm and steady, but thunderous even over the endless thrum of the downpour. It wasnāt Dent this time, though. āIām more of a āshow, donāt tellā enthusiast myself, however. Cadet Ward, continue, if you will.ā
This time, Rei didnāt hesitate.
āTemporal Step.ā
The world flashed away and back, and Rei blink to Laurentās left side, opposite the three-part staff. The manās other arm was still held up to point, and Rei slashed at it. The man was gone in a flash, of course, retreating into the storm, but Rei simply gave the command again.
āTemporal Step.ā
āWhat the hell?!ā he thought he heard the sergeant major grunt through his faceplate as Rei matched theāalbeit reduceāSpeed of a S-Rank, Stepping into being behind the man again. Once more he slashed, and once more Laurent he caught nothing but air. He whirled, looking for the Atypical, and when no red appeared on his HUD he knew where his opponent had gone this time. Instead of defending this time, he triggered the Ability yet againāworking hard now to control the nauseaāand flicked away into the trees.
There was a wet WHAM!, and Rei knew heād made the right judgement when he turned to find Laurent with a knee buried 6 inches into the mud exactly where heād been standing an instant before.
āA Speed boost?ā He heard the man ask, almost to himself, but loud enough to be made out. āNoā¦ Too quick. And useful for offense and escapeā¦ā
He saw the green slash of the sergeant majorās helm turn in his direction as Laurent got to his feet, pulling the armored knee out of the ground with an ugly squelch.
āInstantaneous?ā he continued to speak half to himself, half apparently for the benefit of Rei and the observers. āNo wayā¦ And itās gotta have drawbacksā¦ā His attention seemed suddenly to home in, to narrow. āWaitā¦ One way to find out.ā
And then the man was on top of Rei, free hand suddenly engulfing his faceplate in an iron grip. Rei heard the armor around his temples creak ominously, and he almost yelped in surprise.
Then, though, he was tangling in midair, Laurent having lifted him by the head like he and the hundreds of pounds of steel that made up his Phalanx armor and shield weighed nothing at all.
āCan you get out of this, I wonā?ā
āTemporal Step!ā
Comments
IronMavrik
Screw the charge up. Let it have x amount of uses before it has a cooldown.
Sugoi
Think us Americans can get another holiday chapter? š
dylan holcomb
That was a very enjoyable read, hope it doesnāt change too much.
Marie H
Yeah, their was a lot mentioned about how much Vysetrrium was needed to operate various size ships. Rei should be able to move his team around, I was thinking maybe as much as 10 people.
Terry Mosson
Even though it is a charge up, can it not hold more than one charge at a time? maybe a future ability. Cause ward did take quite a beating in the lead up.
Maria Klein
Honestly he was going to work in multiple TS charges ready work best in the previous chapter when Dent is asking him to surprise laruant
Maria Klein
It would make sense for it to evolve into a non charge needed ability. After all it developed after ReĆ was put in a position he couldnāt escape. I did like the chapter!
PNB
I'm pretty sure I remember reading one of those anecdotal chapter intro blurbs in Book 2 where someone talks about REI and Aria jumping around together. So either other people get temporal step eventually or REI can take others with him... although that could potentially be a TS II or TS III feature, so it could still go either way this early in the book.
Thomas Yackee
Hmmmm. Maybe put a bit more combat in between jumps? Have Laurent working it over while "casually" poking at him with his stick. From the early chapters, we know it's a relatively quick charging ability, and its not like Rei's stopping for a few bruises. My favorite part is that nomatter which of the two probable outcome, it's broken. Either he's uncapturable, or can just kidnap people to jump them with the full squad
Karen Bell
I agree with other posts. Rei has been fighting for awhile in the last chapter could just find a spot to mention that Rei's HUD was blinking with multiple TS charges at the ready.
Linda Thompson
Thanks for the fix, even if itās a mistake. āTwas fun
Benjamin Hartmann
Yeah, but I mean more from a story perspective, it is a tool that can quickly become a solution for everything and a problem if you want it to keep the story engaging. Just my thoughts, I dont know where the story is going and how fast. I am already hyped to see him jumping around an weaving a storm of destruction š
Destinee Singleton
He was technically charged though š© but whatever creative process you need. Maybe add the charged notification in the last chapter with immediate dismissal to avoid distraction. And then you donāt have to completely rewrite both.
ProVVoke
Also look at stuff like Eddie Hall vs Tom Aspinall. Pure strength is VERY easily countered by skill. You'd think the world's near-strongest man would stand a decent chance at wrestling, but thats not the case
ProVVoke
Being unbalanced is kind of the point of the genre and this story. Sure Rei works for it, but almost every cultivation or cultivation-esque story has the main character putting in unimaginable effort for unimaginable reward. The end goal is that Rei will be able to shift into whatever type his opponent is weak or disadvantaged against, have unparalleled mobility, supernatural battle-sense and blow the roof off of the entire system of the ISMC. The only questions I still have are what he replaces it with or fixes about the system and when he actually goes to fight the aliens
Devin Jaros
Now that wouldāve been fun!
Fleetpanda
I agree with others in that the last chap wouldāve definitely charged the temporal step. This just needs one big hit instead of him trying over and over. Maybe something more impossible to really drive in how heās not just moving fast. Like teleporting to help his team.
Dungeonborn
Charge abilities were explained in that they build up chargeā¦ so when u use the ability the charge is spent. Itās sadly not a passive but an active charge ability.
Dungeonborn
Yes and previous training with sub instructors showed that the nausea builds up
Benjamin Hartmann
Yeah I thought that too. Let them taste their own medicine and scramble their expectations š
Heather Herren
I really thought he was going to go for jetway instead for a second..:-D. Still awesome
ProVVoke
I mean, it looks like all you have to do is insert a paragraph towards the back third of the last chapter that goes something like this. Rei's attention was stolen for a bare instant by the flashing light on his HUD, letting him know that his latest trick was ready. He was tired and Kalus was beating him down, but he wanted, no needed, to go all out. To really show what he could do. Then tone down this new phase of the fight. Maybe Rei just teleport-jumps straight into Kalus, the instant nature letting him slam into the back of the guy's knees and knock him over or something. For all the focus you put on armored combat, I think you should mix in some grappling and ground fighting. In Japan and Europe when super heavily-armored fighters appeared historically, they were often killed at brutally close range with thrusting weapons designed to pierce through weaker gaps in armor
Sam
Pretty sure that during the training session, he was switching modes every 2 minutes and using temporal step as soon as it charged. This allowed him to attempt it 8 times before his stomach couldn't handle it anymore.
jeffrey robbins
you don't have to change the story he was already fighting with him for awhile, more than long enough to build a charge or three.
Wilsonkrom .
Maybe cut the second temporal step and then go with the third? Overall, I love this chapter! I can hardly contain my excitement for this book!!! It all gets me excited or tugs at my emotions.
Benjamin Hartmann
Like the idea, my first thought was something like refund his charge when his attack gets blocked.
Sugoi
I was thinking that as well. Like could he eventually change his trajectory at the last second? It would be huge!
Aubrey Listi
Maybe more than one?
Aubrey Listi
Wouldn't he have built up at least one charge from already fighting with Kalus?
chris kizziah
I didnāt even think about the trauma of the visions. We donāt know what visions Kalus would have since everyone has different visions even when going through together. I would like Rei to use that as a tactic. Temporal jump and grab an enemy combatant and temporal jump with them. Then, FDA them while they are still sick from the jump. That wouldnāt work on people who hole jump often though. He could also use the ability to save a team member. Pop in grab and pop out. Catcher would be the one I would most like to see this happen to because of his comedic nature. Rei pops in behind Catcher, grabs him by the back of the shirt and temporal steps away.
Michael Walzer
In the cut scene when we hear an older Viv witch walker arada speak about souvenirs. She said she didnāt want to go for fear of throwing up. He will eventually be able to TS the entire squad
Benjamin Hartmann
Yeah I can see, that constant temporal steps are unbalanced, but could they tweak the arena to give them something like an ability overload so they donāt need to charge them? Would be nice for training too and getting used to silently trigger them.
gratch42
I think itās von Bor on the viewing platform above. Rei got a view of Jetway in the fight with his squad just as he TSāed seconds before. Will be cool when one of the instructors points out to Rei his TS provides more than just movement. He can jump up above the battlefield - TS to a new spot AND he gets a 360 view of the whole battle AND he gets a few seconds of hyperspace time outside of time to process what he saw.
Sugoi
Now this really cool! I can see easy ways around this tbh. You could have a more experienced use of temporal step to have an ability build up. Like 5 uses or so in the time a new charge up is needed. I was hoping for Kalus to get a surprise donut of his own from reading here how even an unexpected S rank can be taken aback by a damn C9 with this ability, but Kalus somewhat having an automatic defense - I'd like to say 3rd eye but different maybe? Is really damn cool. That'd be our first known non Phalanc with the skill right? Not only that but another Laurant to boot. Last edit. Was that Von Bor who questioned him or Jetway? I can understand why the Rook would opt to staying put and just observe for the time being, but I now want to see TS used on an unexpected Rook. Then soon to be the powerful Kings and Queens out there.
saynt
it didnt happen in an earlier chapter when bretz was holding him and only rei jumped, he will be able to take people with im later. might be able to now just doesnt know how.
Megan Barton
Well said!
Eric Edwards
Feels like a 1 charge ability, since in past chapters it was indicated the HUD would notify him when the ability was available.
Eric Edwards
Point taken and appreciated... feels like we're plotting Rei's ability development. Then Bryce will throw us all over his famous cliff. š
Other
I would love to see that as well. Plus the trauma of the visions, lol.
Vitrophyre
To be fair, that wasn't 8 times over the course of the whole hour I don't think, no?Just 8 attempts over that once specific combat training from the previous break. We don't know if it lasted for 2 minutes or 15 or 20. He most likely was training with the whole squad at one point during that period and prob had multiple individual attempts with the instructors.
Eric Edwards
There was a time span for the charge when practicing with instructors (approx. 8TS for the hr). So you have to reconcile if the ability is solely time dependent or / also converts kinetic energy to charge. I enjoyed this sneak peek, causes you to think. I'll like to see your solution to cover the loopholes of the ability. Also Laurent shouldn't Step with him while his face plate is being crushed, since the ability was primarily developed as an escape measure. WELL... at least not yet TS '2'.
Alexander
Temporal step 2 or 3?
Scott
So hereās a thought. Since Kalus is holding on to Rei, will he step with Rei? Eg, being in contact with him transports with him?
Aaron Harchak
I was thinking the same thing, if more charge can be built than is needed for one use, the beating that Rei has been taking could just have been enough for several steps back to back.
J.L. Calren
Yeahhh if he can do that in C/B rank heās gonna be unstoppable.
gratch42
Could see TS2 and TS3 upgrades both decreasing charge up time but also letting him store multiple uses? Cool cool cool. But now Bryce can instead answer the question - can an S rank help a C9 charge up a lot faster? āOh you need some chargeā¦ā š
saynt
i dont think the short hops depleting charges less would work because he was making less distance jumps in training
saynt
i dont recall reading temporal step charges couldnt be stored so you could add a line saying he had a certain amount saved up. it could even be a suprise to him as so far what weve read he has used it as soon as it charged in training.
Joanne Hans
Exactly!
gratch42
Think the problem is already released book 2 has his initial trials with TS requiring a buildup between first use and again between subsequent uses (of a few mins - though Iād guess it charges faster with an S rank opponent.) He should have one use at the start of this chapter but will need to spar for a bit for each subsequent use.
Lyn Shirley
I think your chapters are fine. Reidon had been fighting with Laurent for a while. The charges were already built up. Rei did multiple steps before several chapters ago while training with Bretz. The only limit was 8 when Reiās stomach gave up. Shido has proven it is endlessly adaptable. That is what makes Reiās CAD so unique.
chris kizziah
Just think how funny it would be to see Kalus getting sick from the jump. New tactic, step behind the enemy, grab them, and step away. FDA them while theyāre sick
Voror
I think this could work yes and maybe make it something unique to this ability compared to others that Rei didn't figure out at first with this being the first reveal of it after all that training. You could still have it as a future upgrade to the ability involving more efficient consumption of energy and the like.
kirbydabear
in training he did it 8 or 9 times but spread apart, so each time it had to charge in between
chris kizziah
I didnāt realize that Rei could charge temporal step to make multiple jumps. It would be great if he makes this next jump taking Kalus with him and Kalus getting sick and making a mess on the field.
kirbydabear
I think this would be fine if you amend our understanding of "charged" like others are saying - either he can build up multiple charges, or shorter hops deplete charges less, something like that...? And it would mesh with everything already because when he first tested he used the second it was ready, and in training he "uses it as soon as it becomes available" so they wouldn't have seen the multiple charges. Could add a line to previous chapter "Rei glanced at the notification he'd been ignoring til now: TEMPORAL STEP READY: 5 STEPS" or something
Gama
Moves like this, yeah he has the field name āStormweaverā in the bag.
Voror
Oh I see. He didn't charge in between each of these. Only thing I could think would be if he figured out the ability enough that it turns out you can do short hops if the distance isn't too great. I am curious if that works in the situation he's in at the end. If it doesn't then that is a major weakness aside from what we know are the nausea and hole visions.
Gama
Fuckkkkkk, I NEEED this update to temporal shift yesterday!!!!!! This is LEGENDARY!
RickVaughn14
Not gonna lie, I am kinda hoping Rei pukes on Kalus there at the endššš
Todd Smith
I love it. I can't wait to see the revised version. And THANKS for sharing your mistakes. I have no problem exploring alternate dimensions if it gets me my fix.
Heather Herren
Itās awesome though!!!
alex bozdog
This could work depending on how long they were fighting and if charges can be stored. If the previous chapter is a bit longer of a fight to charge up a few uses.
Joanne Hans
One Laurent is the Sgt Major, that fixes there being two.
Rusty Barnes
Awesome. And confirmation that Temporal step can charge multiple uses. Tiny feedback: since there are 2 Laurent on the field, just saying Laurent may be a little confusing.
Joanne Hans
Please tell me that the Sgt Major gets dragged along for the ride. :P
Voror
Huh I didn't question it because I figured it might have still retained the a charge from the fight
Amanda Jones
Lol š if he didn't have the buildup he'd be so OP! maybe the system can upgrade the ability to base the build up time on approximate distance
Victor Summerhill
Iām not sure what chapter it was but Rei was doing this same thing when training with his schoolās instructors. He was able to TS 8 times in a row without getting sick and the last time he hurled on the floor. I say keep the chapter as it shows Reiās progress with the ability, not to mention how scary it has become in such a short period.
Iron Akela
Nice! Seeing more of Kalusā abilities. And I do like the concept that Temporal Step can build multiple charges
Necrogami
Maybe time gated using unlimited times in a certain time window vs a certain number of charges?
Necrogami
My thought process sure it's a charged ability but does it have to be single use from a charge? Or are all charged abilities single use from a charge. Some could be multi use once charged.
Devin Jaros
Oh man this makes my heart hurt š I want this to be in the book so bad!
Nahar
Yeah thatād have been great though I donāt see where you need to modify the previous chapter really.
Vitrophyre
Amazing chapter! Maybe could keep it and explain multiple uses as Rei having built up multiple charges over the course of the combat? Like he doesn't need to use it before building up another charge? I remember that was mentioned as a possibility for Ruinous with Catcher.
Charles Morse
Lol OP isn't even going to be close to describe Rei when he'll be able to use temporal step like that! That was awesome!
Craig Bentsen
But how fast can he charge it? Maybe we can have it charge by absorbing energy from being hit - the more Rei gets wailed on, the more quickly he can use it. We all know he will get hit a LOT in coming books lol!
Christopher Generazio
DAAAAAMN! That was awesome! Can't wait to see what it's like once you re-write with the charge build up.
Superior_Shaq
Definitely future upgrade
Darren Dyke
I love the idea of chain steps with a shift combo.
J A.D
Yeah it was a good chapter, thanks!
Colby Golightly
Ugggghhhhh I want to reeeeeaaaaddddd it all! Itās so good!
Fast Lance
Yh would have been a solid chapter but temporal step is a charged ability for now
