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Early Access: STORMWEAVER 3 - Chapter 13 [ROUGH]

🕑 Added 2024-04-29 15:36:27 +0000 UTC

Comments

ABTelford

You’ve done a beautifully delicate job of this emotionally charged scene. Bravo. ❤️

Igor Lowenstien

no posts in almost 2 weeks? I hope everything is ok

Jacob Clemens

Or version 2 of 13?

Jacob Clemens

Are we getting 14 today or later in the week? No rush!

Jordan Clark

wow that was... I just.... yep. cant wait!

Linda Thompson

Brilliant approach, thank you

Dr. Chaos

Damn Bryce! I’ve been waiting forever for that chapter and you go and make me blubber like a big ol’ baby. It was awesome! One thing though- the tone of Rei’s angry diatribe at the beginning didn’t seem quite right. I’ve been thinking about it for the last couple of days and the best explanation I can give is that it seemed too “getto” for him (don’t PC me for that, it was the only word I could come with that fit).

Ryan Anderton

There is something to be said about family connections. Viv is as close as Rei has but now he can build a deep connection with his family. I feel that his sister coming and based on the book a pretty awesome grand father (cad user) will give Rai the extra push he needs. I fully expect that they both will now be spending lots of time on and off the field with him. I hope his sister as well makes it in the next few chapter it would be pretty cool if she ends up meeting Rie in a practice match, kicks Rie butt and then after oh by the way I am you big sister. As well with the next big match’s commingled to have his family there supporting him!

Scott

hmmm - so assumptions there? Or did I miss something. I'm not sure we know that she is coming to Galens (a reasonable assumption) or that Jasper arranged it (although I can see where you got that one), And, I'm not sure we know yet if she will be pro Rei, or anti Rei.

Lorenz

Good to see Reidon’s grandfather own up…….no doubt we’re about to hear an all too tragic story on how his own father abandoned him……..

Thomas Corbin

I want to see him learn he has a sister who is a user. I don't know if the Doctor knows that Jasper has arranged for her to go to Galens.

Bryan Swanson

I loved this chapter! I have also enjoyed both books! Thank you so much for a great read!

Kristen Pierson

I want to cry i want to see him gain family so bad reidon deserves a kindly and fretful grandfather

Xien

This is hard to get just right. The pain is there for sure so is the anger on both sides. I’m sensing the battle between guilt, fury, and Hirito’s need to get past it all. Right now it’s just a little murky. Thanks for the chapter!

Eilis

Aaaah finally!!! I’ve been waiting for this since they were introduced. Let’s hear what the deal is and finally meet Rei’s sister 😄

Amanda Jones

You're killing it Bryce!

David Collins

Ugh. Your freaking emotional cliffhangers get me everytime. Argggh.

J Nyteshayd

I feel like instead of extending this chapter, maybe put it at the end of chapter 12. While this was concise, the ending was such a perfect place to end a chapter that I would not want to loose that in the name of padding out this chapter. Obviously it's your boat, your decisions have been great for 2 books so far so can not wait to hear the entirety of the explaination.

Joel Wilkinson

Since the end of the first book this chapter and the next couple are what I've been looking forward too.

Shaolas

Damnit man, I want more! Good chapter, can’t wait for the next one.

Richard Jackway

I like how you are handling Hiroto's character. It feels genuine. I had been waiting for the Japanese bow in apology. It was everything I hoped it would be. Personally, I think writing these sort of chapters 'imperfectly' are just right, as none of us handle these situations or react to these situations perfectly. For people with Hiroto's experience & power, it only shows up in the small things. Nice chapter.

Decorus

I think he needs to explain that he has long ago tried to find Reidon, but only found possible evidence of his existence when he saw the footage of Reidon during his fight with Logan. Even then he took the time to prove Reidon was his Grandson. Possibly with fight commentary?

Hellasz123

Yea, feels a bit too strong. He should have guessed that if hes related, based on age he could be his son or grandson.

Janet Beane

I can see why you would want to go further before ending the chapter. This is already a powerful chapter, but I do think it could be even more powerful based on your other writing. I look forward to seeing how you do that.

Ben Heggem

Definitely should combine 13 and 15 together this was way too short I think for all the build up. And maybe tone back his shock at seeing he’s his grandfather as he’d already guessed and processed most of the situation

chris kizziah

Having been married into a Japanese family for 25 years now, I feel that this conversation feels very true to my experiences living in and around Japanese families. Although, I feel that Hiroto would have led with an apology of sorts before asking what it would take to make it right. The apology at the end of the conversation is very realistic to experiences that I have had and had to make. My conversation when I met my father for the first time was similar, but not a tense. I had been adopted by a great family and already knew a lot of what happened; I just hadn't heard it from him. He also took responsibility for things that happened that weren't totaly his fault. When I found out that I had a sister, I really wanted to get to know her. I imagine Rei will have a similar interest in the fact that he has a sister, who only just found out about him. I could see that relationship being the one that brings Rei closer to his grandfather. I don't know what direction the book will take in regards to the overall family issues, but I find them interesting. I can't wait to read the rest of the chapter. It is going as well as I had hoped and I think it feels very natural/ realistic.

Kory Leach

I might be able to gift a membership, depending upon how much it is and if there’s a way to do it.

Kory Leach

What’s here is great. I do agree that it’s missing something… it’s certainly not depth or heart. Maybe it’s just too concise and just needs what was going to be chapter 14 to fill it out. Either way it’s good material!

Chioke Nelson

I can legitimately say I am pissed that I do not have the money to pay for next month's membership simply due to the fact that I'm going to miss the next chapter. This is bullshit and I hate it.

Christopher Generazio

Holy cow! Definitely leaves me wanting more, definitely leaves me wanting to hear the story. And I did love how Rei shifted back and forth from his snark and sarcastic wit to completely stunned. Great chapter and cant wait to see what comes next!

Freedcats

You're the king of cliffhangers, man. Stop killing us!

Linn G

Damn, I knew this was gonna hit hard and the backstory will probably even more. I’m ready for all the feelings though. One thing I would really love to see in the next chapter is Hiroto telling Rei how proud he is of him. Can’t wait for the next chapter!

Stephen Jackson

Great chapter - and great build up. The emotion is solidly there. If I may suggest, the Japanese culture of honour should be checked on this one. It’s clear from this chapter and the other related ones that Dr. Kamiya follows the old code. Maybe lean into that a bit more. Along with the clear emotional angle it would allow a greater understanding and hinge point for Rei and Dr. Kamiya.

Ghostbane

Even if this is just a 'v1 draft' to you, this was 10000% worth the wait for me. This is cinema. The emotional details in the beginning of calling him 'my son' and refusing to say 'your father'. Not to drag out the suprise, but because he actually means it in his belief system.

Ray Chen

This is hard stuff to write and get right. Don't stress about it coming slow. FWIW, I think what you've got rings pretty true to both characters. Let's see what happens next :-).

Jeff McClure

Definitely some feels and allergies. Good work, so far… It feels like a good chapter end, but I think feel what you mean in your blurb.

Ryan Anderton

That is a great start! Can’t wait to get to the point that Rei realizes emotionaly he has been found and his family is with him. And I want to see them both on the field training together and sis to be there.

gratch42

I knew what was coming but well done. Super feels.

Heather Herren

That is soo awesome. It looks like you are doing a little at a time.. it brought tears to my eyes with emotion. Great job!!

Al Parks

Nice! I was hoping Hiroto would let him know that he was his grandfather. That he wasn't proud of what his son, Rei's father did to him. Can't wait to see the rest, chapter 13 is going to be my favorite number from now on.

Iron Akela

Wow, sooo powerful. I really felt all that, both Kamiya and Rei. I’m glad Kamiya waited to tell Rei he’s his grandfather like he did, made it feel more real and less… Hollywood I guess. Does feel a little short, like it’s missing a chunk. Looking forward to the next bit!

Tox

I’m dyyyiiinngg. But this was amazing!

Zac

This hits as hard as a Mauler already...

Dorian Grey

Yo, this is gearing up for an even more heart wrenching backstory and I am ALL FOR IT

Brian Cody

There’s the anger I was looking for.

Lyssa

While I know you're writing a second version, this is still so beautifully written. I love how you introduced the fact that he was the grandfather later on because he probably wouldn't realize that Rei wouldn't know he wasn't his father

Aaron

Was good. It does seem really short for a chapter though, so I agree with adding more to it.

momonga

Lets fuckin go i was dying for this

Armando

This chapter. It’s already amazing and stirring emotions and it’s only eight pages. I cannot wait for the rest. Honestly great job

kirbydabear

the new ending point is an anime cut out where we see each of Rei's, Hiroto's, and Sarah's eyes take a third of the screen as they say "I'll kill him" in unison