Maggiescappies
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Diaper Update 10/20
🕑 Added 2020-10-08 21:20:39 +0000 UTCHi there everyone!
This is going to be an interesting kind of diaper update. It’s funny, for the past two or three updates I’ve been trying to think of ways to make them more structured/streamlines. But frankly, I feel like they’re more fun and interesting when I just ramble on about what’s going on in my pants. So without further delay, let the diaper rambling being!
So first and foremost, I just want to give a HUGE shoutout to those who purchased diapers for me last month. You know who you are, and I messaged each of you individually about it. I genuinely can’t thank you enough. Buying diapers ain’t cheap. Especially the kind I need. I use nearly all the money I make from this patreon to buy my diapers. Usually it’s enough, but occasionally I need those extra packs to get me through the month.
With that being said I did buy a couple hundred packs to keep myself well stocked for the next month or two. I go through on average about 4-5 diapers a day, which equates to roughly 150 diapers a month. So I should be good for a bit. Again, you guys are the best, and I can’t thank you enough for getting those packs for me 😊
The question I’m sure that’s on everyone’s mind. How are my pants doing?
Wet. And surprisingly, getting messier.
So last month I said that I didn’t notice peeing myself around 50-60% of the time. I’d say that’s still generally true for the most part, but I want to put more context into that.
For starters, if I’m at home by myself, most of the time I don’t notice I’m peeing, but it depends. And I think there’s different levels to peeing yourself. I’m not loading my bladder up, then gushing these huge streams of pee into my diapers. Frankly 99% of the time I’m at home, I’m just constantly dribbling into my diapers. I drink a fuckton of water. Not just because it keeps me wet, but it was installed in me as a little kid that it’s important to be hydrated. I drink about ~2 liters of water each day, which literally means I’m going to soak 2L worth of diapers each day. Obviously, I don’t guzzle 2 liters down at once. It’s gradual, and because of that, my diaper wetting is gradual too.
Idk it’s kinda hard to explain, but essentially my bladder and fluid intake are almost harmonious. Shortly after drinking is when I’m most likely going to notice I’ve peed myself a little bit. It’s those moments where I haven’t immediately taken a sip or eattin’ something that I won’t notice I’ve wet. Those are also the moments when I’m most susceptible to leaking too.
I really like saving money lol. So I use my diapers to literal max capacity. Seriously. I have sweat pants that I call my “pee pants” that I wear whenever I’m around the house. I specifically don’t care if I wet through them. I’ve accepted the fact that these three gray pants are going to slightly smell like old pee, so who cares if I leak through them.
Anyways, there are specific times of the day I know I’m at a higher chance of leaking through to my pee pants, and it’s generally right after lunch when I’ve ate and drank a lot. But not normally WHILE I’m eating. Basically what I’m trying to say through all of this is, when I’m expecting to wet myself, I notice more often that I’m going. When I’m not expecting to wet myself, that’s when I normally don’t notice, and tend to leak.
And I think that leads into one of the main points I wanted to share with you guys this month. Incontinence is so much more mental than it is physical. At least, when you’re trying to untrain yourself.
We’ve been taught at a very young age that it’s not good to use your pants as the potty. It’s practically etched into our minds that to be a functioning human in this society, you have to use the bathroom like everyone else. Unpotty training is all about getting over the hurdle. I think the best way to explain to you is like this:
It’s OKAY to wear diapers. It’s OKAY to use diapers instead of the toilet.
Just reading those words your brain is telling you in the back of your mind that that’s not right. Imagine that same voice, but times 10 and occurring every time I look down at my diaper.
I think the largest part of my training has been breaking down that mental barrier. You may want to be diaper dependent, but your brain, at least mine, is going to try making up all of these reasons as to why you shouldn’t. And that to me has been the biggest challenge I’ve had to overcome. Somedays I think I do better than others with it, but in general I feel like I’ve gotten through the worst of my mental/emotional struggles with unpotty training. I’ve documented that plenty over the past few months. I’ve gotten way better with it, and I wouldn’t say I feel bad anymore about wearing diapers, in fact, I love that I wear diapers. But what I’m trying to say through all of this is, my biggest challenge isn’t myself anymore, it’s my subconscious. And I’m working everyday to break that down more and more, little by little.
So you can obviously tell I’m getting into the later stages of urinary incontinence. How’s my bowel incontinence you ask?
Not really there yet. I’ve only started messing myself regularly over the past month. It’s been fun! I’ve talked before about how I didn’t like messing because of frankly OCD issues I had about keeping myself clean. I still feel that way sometimes, but I can mitigate it with a messing system I’ve come up with.
Right now I still feel the need to void in my bowels basically 100%. The only incontinence I’d say I have right now, is that I’m way more comfortable than the average person at pooping my pants. Like if I’m alone, I have no problem going in generally any position. So when I inevitably mess myself, I tend to clean myself up immediately. It works for me, and it’s made me way more comfortable about messing.
I have started to train myself to stay in my messes for a longer periods of time. I mean, I am trying to get to the point where I don’t feel anything at all down there. So there will come a time where I’m messy for an extended period of time. But for now, I’m trying to take baby steps (get it? Lol) with it. It’ll take time. But for now, I’m trying my best to keep my bowels as loose as possible, and hold nothing back the second I feel the urge to mess.
Wrapping up the diaper update here, I’d say in terms of my diaper training I’m:
Mentally Wetting Dependent: 70%
Physically Wetting Dependent: 65%
Mentally Messy Dependent: 5%
Mentally Messy Dependent: 10%
I wanted to touch on one last thing before I end this update.
You know being an AB/DL is something we all share. Frankly it’s a very deep and emotional part of us that we don’t really get to share with the world. Like many of you, I’ve had this fetish for a very long time. Basically for as long as I can remember. This is something we all share in secrecy.
So although we may never meet each other, or know each other’s faces, we come to this little community to express ourselves. Mostly for pleasure, if we’re being honest. However, it’s more than that to a lot of us, whether we realize it or not.
When I first started writing I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t have an agenda or any real plan. I only started doing it because I felt like I could write some fun stories for people, and I hoped they’d like them.
What I didn’t realize though, was that I was writing to express this deep secret part of me. And that is the soul reason as to why I put so much into my work.
It matters to me that I put out good, quality content for this community. I try really hard to make new content that’s both interesting and entertaining for you guys to read. I never want to become a sellout. I never want to make content purely because you guys will think its “meh” and still support me anyways. I think that’s wrong. I would never do that to someone in real life, let alone someone who shares this fetish with me.
I’ve debated a lot about telling you all this next part, but frankly, you are my patrons, my friends even, and I think you deserve to know. I feel like I’ve been getting to the point lately where I’ve written a lot of the stories/captions and captions that I’ve wanted to write. Now before you get alarmed or anything, I’m not going away!!! I’m not planning on closing down any time soon. In fact it’s quite the contrary.
I started writing three years go because I thought it was fun. Now that I’ve enjoyed mild success, and have seen people really enjoy my work, I think it’s time to make my greatest stories. I’ve thought a lot about this. I have the support system from you guys, and the time now in COVID to make my best stories yet. That kind that I want generations of AB/DL’s to remember. Stories that if I never write, I’ll always regret it for the rest of my life. I’ve had these ideas in me since the beginning but have never really had the chance to develop them because I was still just trying to make it as a writer/Open 24/7 wearer. Now that I have this platform and the renown to make an impact, I think it’s time to work on these projects.
I’m not going to reveal much about them now, but what I will say is that I’m going to wrap up all my loose stories in the next two-three months. Once January rolls around, I’d like to have everything cleared so I can devote my time fully to these stories. I’m talking INTO THE DIAPER-VERSE, Paisley’s little break, Summer Days, Hermione Ginny and The Spellbook, and some other stories that got lost in the shuffle.
It’s a risk telling you guys this, but frankly, I feel like my honesty is what separates me from everyone else. I love talking to you guys and letting you know how I feel. I’ve only gotten positive responses when I do that.
I think what you should take away from everything I’ve just said is this. When I finally put down my pen, I want it to be on my terms. I don’t want to be a sellout, but I also don’t want to feel like I still had stories on the table I needed to write. I’m going to start putting those plans in motion in the next few months. These stories are going to be long. They might not be totally full of AB/DL content every chapter. But that setup is going to make it so much more rewarding in the end. You can’t write a long downward regression without the long downward part. (I read the story “Act Your Age” when I was 11, and it was like 200 pages or something like that. Still my favorite story of all time.) I’ve never had the time or support to make these stories in the past. But with the success I have now, it’s to time get workin’ on them!
Thank you guys. I’m so excited for the endings I have planned for the stories out now, but I’m practically over the moon at what’s to come. Thank you for sticking with me all these years and dealing with my sappy emotional side.
Thanks for reading, and as always, stay padded for me 😊
MC
Comments
Maggie's Cappies
I’m looking around for it! Been a while since a read it. When I find it I’ll link ya :)
Maggie thank you so much for this post! You said so many things I needed to hear, and I'm excited for your next great works!
Emma Pines
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, it's really encouraging! Can I ask where we can find "Act Your Age"? I haven't heard of it before!
