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Relief Part 1
🕑 Added 2020-07-16 15:25:06 +0000 UTC
“Just another stressful day. I’m sorry for acting like this.” Grace said to him defeated. She hung her head in shame, before falling into his chest. He reassuringly stroked her back.
“It’s okay, Grace. You need to make a change. No one should have to live their life in constant stress. Hell, your anxiety has skyrocketed ever since you started working there.” He said softly. His words hit Grace hard emotionally. Everything he said was spot on. Life had devolved into a never-ending loop of waking up, going to work, coming up exhausted, then falling asleep immediately to do it all again.
Grace felt tears stream down her cheek. She burrowed her head a little further into his chest.
“What do you think we should do? I can’t just leave there.” Grace said, doing her best to steady her voice.
He exhaled slowly but didn’t respond immediately. A moment of silence fell over the two. Normally this was the point in the conversation where he’d suggest seeing a therapist or yoga. His advice always indicated he didn’t entirely understand emotionally where Grace as coming from.
This time was different, though.
“I’ve been doing a lot of research about that.” He said, releasing from the hug before locking eyes. His face became soft and reassuring. “I don’t want you to think it’s weird. But apparently this has been researched by well-known phycologists.” He said, as he began fishing around in his pockets. A second later he pulled out a light blue pacifier. Grace shot a confused look back in response.
“You want me to suck on a pacifier? What the hell have you been reading?! Haha!” Grace laughed while relaxing her shoulders.
“I’ve looked a lot into this, Grace. It’s called ‘Regression Therapy.’ Basically, you let yourself get back into the same mindset of a 4-year-old. You just lay back, relax, and let yourself feel like a kid again. No worries. No anxiety. And sure as hell no stress. All you have to worry about is what cartoon you want to watch next.” He said, extending the pacifier toward her. Grace stared at it for a while, her confliction clear across her face.
“I don’t know…” She said, letting his words wash over her. He had a point. It would be nice to relax for once. Living life carefree for at least a couple hours sounded wonderful. And who would care if she acted like this at home? It was a safe place. No one had to know she was doing it.
With a slow hand. She laced her hands around the pacifier and took it from his hands. She looked back up at him with heavy eyes.
“I guess… I’m just going to try it.” She said, while playing with the pacifier in her hands. “What am I supposed to do? Just suck on it and watch TV?” Grace said.
“If that’s what you want to start with. Sure. Go get comfy on the couch and I’ll turn something on for you.” He said assertively. He wasn’t aggressive by any means, but in that moment, Grace felt compelled to follow his command without question. She simply nodded and made her way over to the couch.
She nestled down in her normal corner. Grace took in a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. Her eyes met the blue pacifier in her hand. The rational adult side of her brain said it was childish to pop it in her mouth. Woman her age weren’t supposed to use pacifiers as tools to relieve stress. But she was getting desperate at this point. Even if it was from a source she used long ago. With suddenly greedy eyes, Grace placed the plastic bulb in her mouth and started sucking.
Almost on cue he flipped the TV on. Legends of the Hidden Temple started playing through the speakers. Grace gasped as nostalgia flew into her chest.
“Hey I haven’t seen this in forever! Oh my god where’d you find this?!?” She said, instantly locking into the show. She beamed at the TV while her favorite team, the Purple Parrots, geared up for a challenge.
“I have my ways. You just relax and have fun, okay? I’ll be back in a bit to check on you.” He said to Grace. He could tell by her lack of eye contact she wasn’t really paying attention to his words.
“Yeah… Sounds good…!” Grace muttered; she was too engrossed in the show to say more than that. Grace fell right into her old childish grove. Legends of the Hidden Temple had been her favorite show growing up. It brought waves of relief to her tired body.
She had so much fun playing along with the show, that she didn’t even notice the pacifier in her mouth once. Her lips consistently bobbed the pacifier to the perfect rhythm. In the tensest moments Grace subconsciously sucked harder or bit down on the bulb. It felt nice to rely on something else to regulate her emotions.
By the third show she was hooked. “Why have I never used these before? These are perfect for stress.” Grace thought. She smiled knowing she finally had something to deal with her negative emotions. Having a tough day at work? Sneak into the bathroom stall and suck on her pacifier for a few minutes. Stuck in traffic? Pop that sucker right into her mouth. And of course, it’d be between her lips round the clock at home now.
“This whole regression thing might be a lot of fun…” Grace thought. She felt a childish joy wash over her from that notion. Without thinking about it she grabbed the remote and changed the TV to Rugrats. It oddly felt like the more appropriate show in the moment for Grace, while she laid there, pacifier bobbing in and out…
