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A few unremarkable facts about me.
🕑 Added 2022-10-13 15:06:55 +0000 UTCI’ve mentioned that I‘ve had some power issues up here. Well, I decided it was time to get a generator because losing power is a real nightmare when I’m trying to record. Unfortunately, in order to install it, they’ve been cutting my power.
So…
I figured now would be a good time to write something, seeing how I can’t record until they restore it. But I’m terrible at talking about myself, so I’m going to come at you with a few disconnected thoughts.
I’m a city girl but I live in the woods
I’ve spent most of my adult life in NYC. I love the city, but when I was ready to leave, I went to the opposite extreme and moved here.
I remember being thoroughly creeped out when I first moved in. I wasn’t used to the quiet. Or the darkness at night. That, and a gang of raccoons kept fighting outside my window and the sound was haunting.
It took me about a week to get over that.
I went to a dinner party a while back and when I showed up in heels, the host—also a city person—said, “Oh, you’ll give those up soon.”
I haven’t given them up entirely but I do own more flats.
If someone breaks in, I have enough rope to tie him up. And a really whippy cane to make him regret his choices.
Someone asked if I own a riding crop. I do. And a variety of other implements.
I’m not a big corporal punishment person. My natural orientation is gentle femdom, among other things. But I’m very capable of corporal.
I learned corporal back when I was first exploring my dominant side. I trained with a domme and eventually found a nice lawyer who let me practice on his naked body.
Our conversations went like this:
Me: “Am I hurting you?”
Him: “Not enough.”
Me: “Are you sure?“
Him: “You can go harder.”
Me: …
Him: “Okay, too hard. I need a break.”
Eventually, I got pretty good at it.
Caning is brutal but flogging can be quite sensual. (The flogger is the whip with a kajillion strands, or tails.) And I‘ve learned to spank in a way that brings about a nice endorphin high without causing much pain. This isn’t a skill I use very often but I love it when I do.
My favorite thing is this ring:
It’s meant to lace up the arm like a gauntlet. But the rope can be easily released:
To tie up a cock. And keep it close at hand. Should the need arise.
(The woman who made this is the one who taught me how to spank.)
I was once stopped at the airport for transporting too many books.
Specifically these books.
I was in Montreal for a conference. While I was browsing the book fair, I came across a five-volume set of rare 18th-century smut. I needed it.
They were also selling a six-volume set of conduct manuals. (Conduct manuals were books on how to train your daughters to be marriage material.) I needed that too. Desperately.
The sales rep said she didn’t want to haul them back on the plane so she offered them to me at half price. But I had to pay in cash. So I bolted from that hotel and hit up every ATM I could find, then ran back to the hotel to buy them before someone else did.
In retrospect, I’m pretty sure the risk of that happening was nonexistent.
Anyway, I crammed them into my suitcase, flew back to the States, and got stopped by TSA for, in their words, “transporting too many books.” The guy took me into a room and went through my suitcase.
”Eighteenth-century British erotica,” he said. “Why do you have so much erotica?”
Instead of answering the question, I quibbled with the fact they called it erotica. Unfortunately, he was looking for a one-word answer and not an argument over semantics, so he got really irritated with me and decided to page through every book. Slowly.
I think he was looking for pictures.
There were no pictures.
He asked why I was bringing in so many books from Canada and I responded by asking if there was some rule I wasn‘t aware of. He asked again, I said I liked books. He asked again, and again, and eventually I said something to the effect of, “Dude, I’m a grad student. I’m weird for primary sources. What do you want from me?” And then he let me go.
I later brought it up while I was caning the lawyer. I said I’d just learned that we’ve got some bizarre rule about not bringing too many books across the border. The lawyer laughed and said the TSA agent was just fucking with me.
I caned him pretty hard that day, and because he liked it when I was mean, I couldn’t tell whether it was the TSA agent who was fucking with me or him.
(It was the TSA agent. You can pack an unlimited number of books, as long as they aren’t laced with fentanyl.)
I write
I left academia to write. And I started doing audio when I was hit with a crushing case of writer’s block.
I’m glad I did. Audio makes me feel like myself again.
I’m left-handed
Technically, I’m ambidextrous because I’ve learned to use my right hand for certain things. And when I pick up a new skill, it takes me a while to figure out which hand I favor. But it’s usually my left.
I masturbate with my left hand, for example. But if I’m stroking your cock, I can use either hand.
Here’s something strange: When I’m using my feet, I favor my left foot. So I think I’m left-footed, too.
I’M GETTING A BINAURAL MIC
I’ve ordered it so now I wait.
I’m excited. When it comes, I’m going to be whispering in your ear all night long.
Comments
I want to break into your house now
You are amazing❤️
