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Mixed Bag of Holding: America's Next Top Minion

🕑 Added 2025-02-28 20:34:41 +0000 UTC

Comments

deranged pigeon

all time favorite mixed bag

AJ C

My brain is so poisoned I put off listening to this episode because I thought it was about generating OC minions from despicable me

sam s.

not a single unremarkable line delivery in this thing

J. Gro

I rolled two, to start... J'Miah, a tattoo-covered bullywug. HP - 25, AC - 13. +1 int, - 1 str, with a fire bolt cantrip. +1 to hit/damage. Shelly the Skelly, so hot (literally) she glows. Also got firebolt, so I imagine her bones as orange like burning logs... but bones. HP - 25, AC - 15. +3 int, - 2 cha. +3 to hit, +2 damage. I think being a skeleton is punishment for her life as a mean girl, represented by her bad cha and sick burns (firebolt).

J. Gro

Sleep-deprived Caldwell Tanner = unemployed Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec!! Side note: there is no traffic cone emoji to represent the Cones of Dunshire. Tragic.

JuicyKiwi

My best friend and I are playing Baldurs Gate 3 and they made a Circle of Spores Druid with red skin and vitiligo and a poofy hairstyle. He’s just a cute lil guy who has twenty pairs of glasses okay, raising other lil mushroom zombie guys to also be cute lil guys in glasses…

Nic Q

This is one of the most unhinged things I’ve listened to omg. Glorious.

Sarah Sullivan

Classic shenanigans that immediately make Murph mad are always my favorite 🤣

Casey Fisher

So unhinged and so so funny. Love you guys

Tyler Gob

The wild, and humorous, uses of my last name had me blushing 😂 (It's Gob lmao)

Mr. Serpentarius

This was unhinged and amazing.

Vincent W

Playing this system tonight and I'm so pumped

James Andrade

Smallbee is my spirit monster and I will insert him into all of my games forever lol

Grass

Teresa Lisbon from the mentalist is pissed off

Slappy Dave

Queue Powerwolf's Resurrection by Erection for the bullywug legend Clark from Lisben hahaha

Ryan

And here I sit refreshing Patreon looking at the previous post wishing it were new, like opening a fridge hoping something had spawned in from the previous time you looked…

Julia Comer

Des Moines mention, but at what cost ✊️😩

Natalie Hales

Was cryyy laughing for the last 20 minutes. Is anyone going to Des Moines killed me

Natalie Hales

CLARK IS GOB

Robert Zorzi

Omg halfway through I was absolutely dying, Jesus Christ I can finally breathe

Victoria Shotts

Caldwell is an absolute adorable dingus and I wish he was my older brother. I love your sense of humor dude

KingHalt

So excited to use this sheet in my personal campaign!

October Jones

D&Deople, best name for a Pawn Shop in Waterdeep: Best I Can Do or Pawn Hub?

Scrumbleton Brumbleton

This patreon is far and away the single greatest source of streaming content. I cannot express this enough. Love everything you all post. Gob is good.

Nick Neverman

A royal rumble filled solely with minions made with this system would be beautiful

Z Slice

If there is no t-shirt saying "GOB IS GOOD" in the merch store, I'm calling my paralegal pawsum !

Tony Cappellino

I’ve been lobbying for a Murph-run History of WWE ep and it sounds like now is the time to

James Cherenzia

Hearing the venom and bile of an angry Murph in his lil guy voice was incredible, no notes lmao

Miranda the Dungeon Court Stenographer

Another classic Murph crashout.

Pali Endi

Did we just learn how Jake proposed? 🤣 38 mins in

Ryan Maitland-Ward

What an absolute shitshow. I loved it.

BomVenusaur

This is so funny😂. Incredible idea Caldwell, incredible execution everyone

Cooper Mccrory

Murph being pissed as a tiny guy is so funny. I’m gonna need all Murph salt to come in this form from now on

Ellie P

Murph’s lil guy voice makes me so gleeful.

Huascar Holguin

An excellent point! I’m not convinced all of them are at fault lol

Franny McCabe-Bennett

👏👏👏

Franny McCabe-Bennett

What's with the Emily hate??

Franny McCabe-Bennett

This was so fun!!! It has to get a reboot on a different network! I could listen to a million episodes

John Hartigan

I'd love to hear more of these

Alexander Lawhorne

"Is anyone going back to Des Moines" is the greatest line I've heard in a while

Theo Englund

i NEED to know how murph feels about the John Cena Heel turn

Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! No jokes today, just excited Emily's gonna be on Gastronauts!!

They say it’s about a week recovery for me, give or take so I’m gonna be making naddpod friendship bracelets and watching a lottt of trash shows

Declan Konesky

Amen friend! Worth all the slight discomfort. Truly only one day of 'meh' and milking it

Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! No jokes today, just excited Emily's gonna be on Gastronauts!!

Less intense than kids, worth it!!

Declan Konesky

That sounds much more intense than my procedure! But congrats!

Kevin Stefanowicz

Really it needs a full episode history lesson to make them all understand the significance

Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! No jokes today, just excited Emily's gonna be on Gastronauts!!

Until they gave themselves names I thought the same

Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! No jokes today, just excited Emily's gonna be on Gastronauts!!

Grats on the no kid future! Getting my tubes removed at the end of the month!

Brittany Flamond

Great job Caldwell, such a fun table to roll on!

Adam Sutton

(playfully) I counter that Murph tried to steal Clark’s tied up halfling. That pretty much ignited the PvP. D&D court episode ran by Lou, Zach, Iffy, and Ally judging this case would be amazing.

Adam Sutton

Damn, Murph was an EXTRA hater today 😅 poor Clark Lisbon

Jamie Matthews

Access to Mixed Bag is easily the best $10 i spend every month. Listening to Murph rage in his "lil guy" voice brings me joy that is truly priceless.

Nadia Brady

I’m living for Smallby lmao

Gustavius

"Res-erection" best line of the ep.

Bryan Salazar

To be fair, he started it by taking Clark Lisbon’s halfling.

jonathan Mann

Gob is so good

Leil Houndes

Lullabies from the Wild Side has become my background music for kcd 2 and it’s been so lovely

Cler Henley

what the fuck was that... 😂

MAH DICK FELL OFF

Seems like they all had fun and it was funny

Jeremy G

Murph what are your opinions on John Cena turning heel and backing The Rock

Justin Cockrell

Holy shit right???

Justin Cockrell

I really need to hear Murph’s response to what just happened at Elimination Chamber

Brandon Wiens

WE NEED AN EMERGENCY MURPH TALK ON THE INSANE ENDING TO THE WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER.

Patrick Sullivan

How dare you, Murph. We flip DVDs, not coins.

Balnor’s Best Friend - Steve

This was so stupid. I loved it.

spiffygrooves

This is one of the most ridiculous pieces of media they’ve made I laughed so hard 11/10

Huascar Holguin

Whoa I didn’t say all that. Jake and Caldwell had equal if not more influence on how insane it got and if anything it would be Murph vs The Whole Table. No Emily slander here

Michael Hollenbeck

Agreed. The game was set up to be a competition and Emily kind of ruined it by 1) deciding to give herself disadvantage, 2) making her character stupid, and 3) initiating PVP. This could be a dungeon court case submitted by either the DM or the other players, and the judges would rule against Emily.

Huascar Holguin

I’m on Murph’s side on this one. It became a kangaroo court of nonsense towards the end. I wanted to see Caldwell’s events not just some weird PvP fight at the end

Jack

smalbe my wrathful king (murph rage in that voice was absolutely fantastic to hear)

pluckythechicken

Need this to escape the mixed bag, we need more

Logan Carpenter

This has been the hardest I’ve laughed in a while. Justice for Clark Lisbon.

SlainSigny

#clarkgotdonedirty and he would’ve liked it that way

Hthr

Did anyone else think that this was going to involve minions from Despicable Me? 😬

Amanda M

This is art

Hostage4hire

Emily’s minion just has me picturing a goblin Sam Sulek lmao

Gotteswaise

This was incredible, thank you Caldwell’s mania

Hammy

So many faction points were lost this day

Thomas Jager

I immediately had to go and make a spreadsheet with formulas where you enter you rolls and flaw (and ability modifier to increase for Human), and it lists out the HP, AC, ability mods, damage roll, etc. to have easy minion generation! I might also write a script to generate "full" stat blocks based on the rolls.

Zippidi Skibidi

Me too!

Yuncle Vanya

Submitting this episode in full to D&D court

Aaron Sterne

#Justice4Smallby

Transfemmes4murph

I’m a Talking Ape, on the brink of Financial ruin, AC14, 15HP, Extra attack with +2 to STR, -2 to CHA. Meet Kevin Damply 🫠

Ally

I’m an Imp who is clearly on the verge of financial ruin, 12HP, 15 AC, +4 STR, -1 WIS, +1 Damage mod. I can turn invisible once per day, presumably to escape my creditors.

Mich Blackie

Jesus Murph you need new friends 😂

Matt Hartt

Glad to see the return of some good old fashioned murph rage

wick

This is why we subscribe to the mixed bag tier.

wick

Smallby resigning to getting trolled by Emily was so hilarious

The Grinch (feral)

I’m a Smalby Stan 4 life fr

Martian

"Gob is good" 🤣 I swear if there ever comes a time someone isn't stanning Emily Axford, it's because I (and Brian Murphy) have been slaim!

Matt Atkinson

Gob is good to me today

Jenna

SHUT UPPPPP I love mixed bag tier thank u angels

Zanna

I am a robot dressed in leather daddy attire, with 29 hit points, 16 AC, +3 STR, and -1 CON, +1 Damage Modifier. I also crit on 19 and 20.

Milton Villegas

Gob is good truly

Neil Dutton

I await the dark commands of our lord Small-B

Lori Anderson

This was absolutely stupid and perfect and I loved it. Truly wild energy from everyone!

Claudia

crying laughing

A Gunn, Banjo Boy of the Flatlands with two working kidneys

oh, well, this is absolutely thrilling. I know what I'll be working on my Mardi Gras costume to.

Erin Gardiner

It took me 4 minutes and 21 seconds to realize this wasn’t about Illumination Entertainment’s hit movie Minions

SeminoleDVM

Would die for Smallby

ksm11

You'd think after all these years I would have learned not to listen to these episodes whenever I'm trying to eat something, I almost choked on my Coffee when Smallby tried to steal the Halfling from Clark. I simultaneously loved and hated everyone of these characters, absolutely perfect

Adam Sutton

JOHN ELWAY!

Acteron

Matthew Bibb

By far the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time

Evan Schmidt

Need more of these little freaks... maybe they can become canon Trinyvale characters for another mixed bag oneshot?

anna

I know my brain is broken because it wasn't until I was like 3 minutes in that I realized that they didn't mean the yellow minions

Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! Writing a nonsexual sonnet abt nature for the order of the oaken oar. it's not going well

Res-erections gonna be of the carnal crew

Lauren Hartz

Murph's lil guy voice going "I fucking hate you guys. You all suck" is hilarious. Also Jake's multiple nat 20 res-erections were bonkers!

Alien butt puppet

I need 100 more of these

Timothy Daughtridge

https://www.tcgplayer.com/product/550806/magic-the-gathering-secret-lair-drop-series-brash-taunter?country=US&utm_campaign=18142757028&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=&utm_term=&adgroupid=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA2oW-BhC2ARIsADSIAWptzxg4tmnGCjmY4MxLYKi2rTG3lZRDH6zG-ahoaBT9LNDl6IusU1QaAnahEALw_wcB&Language=English

Justin Cockrell

Murph is cursed to always try to play a cute little guy that always deteriorates into an insane bloodthirsty tyrant 😂

Matt Crowther

I fully missed that Jake rolled pathetically horny, so the whole time I was very confused on why he was so horny 🤣🤣🤣

Jaydon

i no joke thought we were adding minions from dispicible me to naddpod lore

Sam

I have SO many dishes to do thank you guys so much

kyler sergio

I'm here for the snorts

Ryan

This is an awesome, reusable concept. I’m here for it.

Shane C

Nothing is better than Murph’s “little guy” voice

Krystine W.

I want random encounter random minions in Skaldova.

Cameron Baker

“No deeces for us meeces” is an immediate banger quote

Brian Edwards

ha ha mine is a Pathetically Horny Goblin. Feels right.

Cole Gensler

No kobold smh

AJ

So glad I’m not the only one that thought we were getting a Kevin Bob and Stuart 1 shot based off the title

Jayden guerra

I thought it would be Kevin

Margaret Zenke

This system is brilliant I’m about to unleash some truly bizarre little guys on my players

mail daddy

Honestly thought by the title this was gonna be about THE Minions.

Declan Konesky

FUCKING HELL THIS IS BRILLIANT CHAOS ON PAPER I'm so glad I had a vasectomy and took an edible this morning just to get to listen to this

jackalope503

I always love these glimpses into the sweet blue hole that is the mind of our Duncle

Zack McCarville

Just started ep 3, and now looks like the rest of my night is booked out

Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! Writing a nonsexual sonnet abt nature for the order of the oaken oar. it's not going well

Jake told 0 lies when he teased this Mixed bag as "Caldwell...just caldwell. you're gonna like it"

surprise slug

where the FUCK is the flying sword

G_raveyard

Fucking absolutely perfect timing for me who's been spending all week moving out of my childhood home with my mom cause my parents are getting divorced.