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D&D Court: Long-Winded DMs, Dashing Daddies and The Tale of Ser Flatbread

🕑 Added 2024-08-22 22:39:41 +0000 UTC

Comments

Martin S

Toyota owners stay winning

Ian Mcilwean

They get land cause without it they wouldn't be able to support themselves to fight for their lord. It's was their fee basically. Which is were the word Feifdom comes from. Fieif equals fee.

Cooper Erikson

I think I've asked this before but does anyone know if that's actually Taliesin Jaffe in the patreon as Percy?

Cooper Erikson

The dad ran off to get some milk.

Evan Fleischer

FWIW: I’ve run a class called “Dungeons and Dragons and Writing” for the past three years and … I kind of love it.

zach stewart

Caldwell a hectare is 10,000 square meters or 2.471 acres. Uh you can thank my conservation degree 😅

Alex Kelly

Making me and my partner laugh so freaking hard rn

Dude Oreally

I had a player want to be a calzone chef. At first it was a little odd. But I made it good family business. They were struggling and he created this cool food idea. And since he was a healer I gave him a special ability to create a certain amount of healing calzones a day as his healing.

Victoria Shotts

I SUBMIT THIS AS EVIDENCE FOR PIZZA MONK https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9Aut1VunmO/?igsh=MW42MzBrb3VteTQ4Ng==

Meg Shallanberger

Pizza monk? Is it that much weirder than a halfling that fights with a frying pan?

Becca_rebaker

Emily's "bad, bad, bad, bad" bit while Caldwell cackles in the background made me laugh so hard.

McKuuurds

I feel like having that first DM record and upload his monologues to YouTube. It could be an unlisted playlist if he didn't want it public but that would even allow him to be more creative and expressive, shoot the DM could even do edits etc. I mean like I guess that becomes homework but shoot if everyone loves the campaign and stuff... Not perfect but eh better than losing playtime I guess.

k_tea

Brat summer bumpin' that (table to roll an 18)

Michael Lawton

They will mark this as The Great Dice Christ Schism of 2024! Next comes a disgruntled cleric nailing a list of rule changes.

Josh Stadtmiller

We really need a spinoff talkshow that just revolves around giving advice on fixing campaigns after this episode

Daniel Koh

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9Aut1VunmO/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== I found a pizza monk lol!! ⬆️

Timothy Daughtridge

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9Aut1VunmO/?igsh=cndqc3MzZmptMGk3

Jake the Accountant

Yeah exactly what I was thinking about the food descriptions. Sure food monk is silly but any type of cook character would be the BEST gift a DM for a Westeros type world could get. For every dumb pizza joke you also get an excuse to world build about food.

Aster Ellis

This Pizza Monk discourse is entirely ignoring Taako from TAZ Balance, the other side of Cinnamon's insane wizard coin

Cheese of the Lake

Yeast points! Have you guys ever seen the movie Gentlemen Broncos?

sarfs

Losing my mind at Murph losing his mind at Emily’s bad dirty talk 😂😂

Oppa SJ Style

I think we’re witnessing the Great Schism in real time everyone

Robert

I don't think the judges knew about Luigi Primo at the time of recording.. for anyone else that doesn't know.. he's my favorite wrestler of all time :) here ya go.. https://youtu.be/CZcPJHa7_is

Myka Donati

I love Luigi Primo

Neil Dutton

Emily mentally wandering away muttering "Bad, bad, bad, bad."

Nathaniel Levy

RE Pizza Monk It absolutely can work in GoT world. Adding a famine instantly adds a layer of sadness and / or heroism to his whole deal. Make him scrape for those toppings ASOIAF is like 20% food descriptions and that would simply be proportional representation in party comp. Maybe he was castle staff whose ancestral oven got skunked by some melisandre style fire/ shadow ritual, conferring monk abilities

Chris Swank

A schism in the church??

happylinlin00

please just communicate with your DMs/players like adults i am begging LOL if something is impeding your ability to have fun at the table i truly dont think it's a big deal to pull someone aside and *respectfully* say "hey this new thing/change isnt really working for me, could we try and figure something out together" literally just the other day i private messaged my DM about a new NPC who was really getting on my nerves bc they'd randomly cast spells on us and this time even dealt damage, and when i brought it up as a frustration he was totally receptive and we worked it out just fine imo "it's just a game therefore i will not express concerns about not having fun" is a sillier way to operate than "we all agreed to play this game in order to have fun, so when something really isnt fun for me i will bring it up in hopes that we can find a way to all have fun together again" TL;DR bring up concerns! best case scenario you keep having fun, worst case scenario you keep not having fun or even end up losing a dnd group, which is already the trajectory if you dont say anything. so you'd might as well say something!

Matt Gustavson

I actually blame the ranger if the busted out the battle map, then they should have corrected the dm when they were within ten feet of the knights. As a dm, I would have okayed that.

Maximus Awesomeness

hey Judges and jack for context I had a ring that could summon goblins. I use all three charges to draw the gards from attacking me that’s how I survived the first Two rounds. then I surrendered after getting hit the second time I didn’t feel it was necessary to include this because of the short nature of the submissions.

Allen S

I say offer pizza guy to get it out of his system with a little mini campaign, then come ready to play for the big boy story.

Ben Kullerd

RE: “pizza monk” A friend of mine is playing a retired Dragonborn battle master who has discovered a love for cooking in his later years. So far in our campaign, he has uncovered a long lost recipe for the globally-renowned Granny’s Apple Pies and revitalized their brand, AND he invented the tortilla/breakfast taco. It’s been way more fun than I would’ve expected

Kyle Veach

The solution to so many of these is just, talk to your friends. Tell them you're not enjoying this and ask to make changes so everyone has fun. Id love to hear more Blasting Gramma and insane brothers in law situations 😆

Ben Kullerd

SO excited to hear a shoutout to my Party World Wrasslin folks! I have 3 of their t-shirts still in my closet. Let Pizza Monk throw his spicy meatballs at abyssal chickens already!

Tavitafish

I feel like to really merge game of thrones and pizza monk, just play in a Crown of Candy style world. I mean zac played a cotton candy monk which is just as goofy an idea

sabertruth19

Piazzas the Paladin

sabertruth19

Bad way to train a puppy, good way to train a player! Of course, Caldwell has been known to play piss drinkers, so obviously if they are rapscouncdrel enough, this method may backfire…

Gwen Gilpin

For the players of the long-winded DM -maybe just fall asleep a few times during the monologues? They might catch the hint.

Hamerin

Descension in the halls of Dice Christ

Sjsharks93

Might I suggest, Flatbread Friar

Shel B Kennas now 1st fav sprite girl. Triss hard seltzer, more like PISS hard seltzer. Congrats Tanner Wolffe Fam

The DM in the tale about the oversleeping players-- they crossed the axis of the FOFO chart from just fucking around to finding out and they didnt like it, but it gave them a taste of it and you can be honest that bits are funny but thing about bits is they're a BIT of it, not the BOUNTY. The group gives good, you can honor the bit but they also have to accept the call to action or the moment and if they choose to fully let it slide by then they lose out. Maybe it's a lesson for them to learn and moving forward you can honor the joke while they also meet you to play ball. Don't retcon!

Steven Powers

"Rub their nose in the piss" - Caldwell 2024

Li I

Regarding the first case - is the DM’s partner also playing? Of so, maybe approaching it through them is the best move…

Vonvonvon

It would be fun to let Dice Christ chime in after each case. Roll a Die and see what chance thinks about the rulings

Johan Schmidt

Ahh! Fresh content ❤️🙏

tacticalgrandma

I got ten seconds into the long winded dm q before getting war flashbacks. First session he talked for an hour and a half before anyone else got to say a word. Also was an arctic campaign & he penalized us for not knowing real world survival skills. Eventually left when he changed the module specifically to trick us into killing innocent people. The book’s scenario was saving a child lost in a blizzard. He often complained about our sessions going long without us getting much done.

Emma

For the long-winded DM: “I’m so appreciative of all you’ve created, AND I’d love to participate more in your cool world with more actual play. How can we make that happen?” Stating needs clearly and simply while also validating the other person’s perspective is the way to go!

Jake Alcott

Oh hey, nice!

ACK

I might take "not compliant, not funny either" for my autobiography title.

Moonhead

Omg this is amazing. Absolute legend

Ken

I have played in an ASOIAF style game, and I badly want to again. And I would be FURIOUS if the GM allowed a goofy ass pizza monk as a pc. Both at the GM and the player.

Hammy

Ooh I wanna hear more of Murph’s House of the Dragon takes

Monk3yTouch3r

I made a Goblin Kensei Monk named Hiyaa-Batchi that I never got to fully play. He was a hibachi chef. Wielding a Chef Knife (shortsword) and ChopStik gun(hand crossbow as his kensei weapons. Now I miss that little guy, and want him to face off against the PizzaMonk