rro.lled
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Elephant In The Room - 14/6/25
🕑 Added 2025-06-14 15:24:00 +0000 UTCHeya folks, how ya doing?
For the sake of transparency, I'd like to tell you folks about what happened in the last few weeks. Keep in mind, I have no reason to lie, nor to beg for people to stay.
It starts in late May. I had my first physical and mental breakdown at the same time. At first I thought it was impossible. But, I was wrong. Apparently, due to overwhelmed of thoughts in my head, it made me having a chronic (almost) non-stop stomach ache.
So, I went to a doctor. They told me that I may have spent too much time making "content", and apparently it affect my brain. They said my "Neuron-something-bla-bla" has "damaged" thus it couldn't control my anxiety normally. For example;
I'm sure you folks understand about what happen with world nowadays. Despite all of those armed conflicts did not happen in my country, somehow I'm having a major anxiety for no reason;
Or maybe, mistakes that I made in the past 2-3 years ago. Despite it's not an issue right now (Or never will), somehow I'm worried. Despite people on the internet since 5-6 years ago still making the same mistakes on their daily basis, they never worried. But, somehow I worried;
And many more tbh, like AI stuff, job, etc;
These are some of the examples that has ruined my will to render.
Lastly, I just want you folks to understand, that I do still want to render. I still got some few ideas for comics as well. But, I just wanna say that I felt different since late May. It feels like I just re-born. I don't know. I'm not sure.
This post may looks unprofessional, but at the end of the day, I'm still a human that constantly make mistake. And if fate gave me chances to redeem myself, I'll be glad to exist longer just to do so.
Well, anyway thank you for reading my vent. Just like that Fleck fella from the movie used to say, That's life!
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Comments
ea
I can related to needing to be away from the screen. Its hard since its the job and its why I can eat, live, and sleep. Exercise and strong daily structure (e.g. up at X hour, work out, eat well, etc.) has made a difference for me. If I front-load the day with activities that are good for me -- "the fight" of the day is won. Also beware of what you're doing before heading off to sleep. It has an effect.
rro.lled
Thank you so much for your concern. Don't worry, I'm currently on cheap therapy right now. I went to hiking alone, and it did calmed my thoughts tho'. It seems all I need was to spend less time in front of my PC. That's all.
GodsPlan
Just recently subscribed, and your work is EVERYTHING I could ask for and is exactly what I have been looking for in a long time. That being said, the world is a mess right now, and a lot of things are not making any sense. But what we do have and always will have is being together. No matter how insane shit gets, aslong you have people you can talk to and share your frustrations and optimismes, or just by talking about anything makes a world of difference, aslong there is some one that wants to listen to you and share thier thoughts. sorry for the long messege but we want to be here for you and listen.
rro.lled
Hey there! Thank you for your response. I'm actually on break atm. I spent like 2-4 hours rendering today. And decided to spend the rest of the day outside. I probably will do the same thing for future project. Instead of wasting 9-10 hours of rendering per day, I'm going to spend less time.
Jacky boy
it seems that you are too stressed to handle your life,why not,give yourself a long break?
![CandidCrushTrample[CCT]](https://runfaps.com/kistorage/34805.jpg)
