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Chapter 25 - Nerf Pod
🕑 Added 2024-02-21 08:51:58 +0000 UTC10 AM, February 1st - One Day Before the Mission…
‘The morning after’, a time-tested moment of awkward eye contact and mumbled conversation, often had over a breakfast that tasted wooden and plain with the tenseness of the atmosphere.
None of that shit applied to Cassie and I, thankfully - it hadn’t happened the first time we had sex, and it didn’t now, no matter how much Sherrel was trying to make things awkward.
“Come on!” she crowed, resting the full weight of her boobs on the kitchen table and grinning perversely at the tired, sleepy-looking Cass. “You woke me up with all your screamin’ and cryin’, kitty cat. I barely got any sleep! ‘Least you can do is give me the raunchy details. Just think of it as… ‘reparations’.”
Admittedly, we did get pretty fucking loud whilst fucking. Going for three hours straight probably wasn’t the most respectful thing to do with guests over, but… I didn’t give a fuck, and going off of the muffled moans I heard coming from the living room after Cass fell asleep, I was positive that Sherrel didn’t mind either.
The hacker lazily flipped her off, her other hand busy flicking through some random PHO thread. “Hell no, cow tits!”
Sherrel scowled. “Mousy called me the same fuckin’ thing. If ya’ll wanna play with momma’s honkers, all ya gotta do is say so. All this teasin’ is fucked up, and I demand restitution!”
“H-how is that ‘teasing’? And ‘restitution’ isn’t even the right word!”
I couldn’t keep the small smirk off of my face as I slid a steaming hot cup of sugar-filled coffee in front of Cassie, who looked away from the eye-twitching Sherrel to give me a grateful smile. “Cass is letting you stay at her place, rent free and deliciously cheap coffee included.” I said casually, placing the other cup of joe down in front of Sherrel. “That's prolly enough ‘restitution’, don’t you think? We could always toss you out on your ass and airdrop you our sex-tapes instead.”
“Huh.” Cassie blinked, dropping her phone on the table and giving me a wide-eyed stare. “We have a sex tape? Tapes? Plural?! You didn’t- we didn’t…” Her sleepiness quickly abated in the face of rising panic and embarrassment, her cheeks warming up.
“He’s just bein’ a dick,'' Sherrel rolled her eyes, shooting me a glare that lacked any real heat. “And the comparison ain’t flyin’ straight unless you actually let me watch, y’know. Just listenin’ doesn’t hit the same.” Her voice was oddly serious, though the almost manic horniness in her eyes made the tone of voice less effective.
She was fully and truly down bad, the same way Cassie was after seeing my new appearance. Except Sherrel had wanted me ever since I callously stole her away from her abusive boyfriend.
Huh… maybe I was teasing her a little bit too much.
…
‘Nahhh.’
“Consider it reparations for all the fuck shit you and your buddies released into the city,” I counter-offered, turning to grab my own cup of coffee. I bought a mug the other day, a black one with the words ‘World’s Greatest Bad’ on the front. It was probably some weird pro-villain memorabilia, but I kinda liked the edginess of it. “You can endure a lil’ bit more ‘frustration’ in honor of change… right?”
The clenching of her hands around the steaming mug showed me just what she thought about my words. “... Right.” she said through gritted teeth, bringing her coffee up to her plump pink lips.
SHLUUUURP!
What a passive aggressive ass sip.
“Am I-...” Cassie began, her face still flushed as she glanced between the two of us. “Am I missing something? You’re not doing that thing where you speak in riddles to avoid revealing sensitive and/or delicate info, right?”
I had to stop my right eye from twitching. ‘How stupidly specific.’
“Nah. Just drink your coffee and stay lookin’ cute.” I replied, giving her a warm, genuine smile.
“Oh… alright. I’m good at that, hehe.” The confusion in her eyes lessened, replaced by embarrassment and love as she smiled back and shyly sipped at her own coffee.
…
“Shit!”
The cuteness was sliced in half and drowned to death by her nearly dropping the cup and yelping as the scalding liquid burned her tongue, but I didn’t mind - the clumsiness was part of the reason why I loved her.
Something had changed between us since last night, and I wasn’t mad at it. Things felt more… solid. More real. Before, I would’ve done anything to protect Cassie - that much was obvious to anyone, I felt like. Now, though?
All I know is that I’d do a lot fucking more.
And speaking of protection…
“Lil’ buddy!” I called out into the Sanctum, leaning back against the counter and crossing my arms over my chest. “Meeting time, get off of Netflix or whatever the hell you’re doin’ up there!” Was Netflix even a thing in this world? Probably not, but the contextual clues were enough to do the heavy lifting.
There was a moment of silence, only interrupted by the occasional cautious sip (from Cass) and aggressive sip (from Sherrel) before…
“This Pod was not watching the critically acclaimed Earth Aleph war film titled ‘Inglourious Basterds’ in preparation for the upcoming mission.”
084 hovered swiftly into the kitchen, his little metal body turning to and fro as it gave its surroundings a precursory, almost lazy scan. How it traveled from Cassie’s computer room all the way downstairs in only a brief few seconds was a mystery, but NieR was a pretty high-powered world from what few clips I’d seen back in my old life. The little Pod was stronger than everyone else in the room, bar me - even better for protecting Cassie in the next few steps of our plan.
“Lying’s not cool, 84.” I sighed, giving the AI a fake disappointed glance.
It inclined its body forward and back, as if nodding sheepishly. “Affirmative. This Pod sincerely apologizes, Master. Proposal: Utilize my assortment of destructive programs in the battle against the nazi threat as solatium.”
Cassie perked up at that, moving her gaze away from her phone screen and pinning down 084 with naked curiosity. Whether said curiosity was triggered by the word ‘destructive’ or ‘programs’ was anyone’s guess. “Ooh, I was wondering about those! Still am, actually. Most of the code in your database was written in, er- what’d you call ‘em…”
“Angelic.”
“Riiiight, thanks. I’m slowly starting to learn the language, but I couldn’t understand almost any of it. My Debugger is optimized for stuff like C++, Haskell, hell - even JavaScript, not this… alien crap you have going on inside of you.”
Though her word choice leaned towards frustration, Cassie herself only sounded curious and determined. She pushed away her half-empty cup of coffee, grabbed her smartphone with both hands, and started swiping over to what I could only assume was some sort of IDE. As she typed, 084 hovered over Cass’s shoulder, a couple feet above her bed-raggled hair, and stared down at her phone screen.
“Pod Programs, written in Angelic Script, is what allows this Pod to assist Master and Mistress in combat, alongside my more mundane firesupport capabilities. This Pod has seventeen Pod Programs currently installed.” He added helpfully.
Cassie glanced up at 084, her left brow quirked in interest. “Seventeen? And you think they’ll help us in a fight with the Empire... What do these Pod Programs even do?”
“A shit ton,” I piped up, briefly pausing to take a long, calm sip of my own drink. “Shields, energy constructs, gravity wells - lil’ buddy has a lot more than tech scanners and sassy one-liners.”
Smacking my lips and pushing back the urge to grimace at the bitter taste, I pressed my finger against the side of the hot mug. It burned, if only slightly, but I focused more so on the Red Wind emanating from the porcelain.
Cooling the temperature just enough to down the entire cup was child’s play, as opposed to, say, shooting a fucking fireball or healing mortal injuries with burning red flame. I promptly downed the rest of the slightly cooler contents a second later, wrinkling my nose all the while. It was ten AM, I’d barely gotten four hours of sleep, and we had a very long day ahead of us.
I needed all the caffeine I could get.
As 084 hovered obediently and Cassie turned to give me big, curious puppy dog eyes, it was Sherrel who decided to challenge my nonchalant claim.
“Excuse me if doubtin’ your word goes against our mutual agreement,” she said sarcastically, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms beneath her sizable bust. “But these ‘Pod Programs’ don’t really sound all that strong, boss man. How do you go from all that nerdy ‘code’ shit to controlling gravity? Get me some big ass magnets and a buncha hollowed-out metal tubes and I can flip somethin’ like that, but him…?” Sherrel eyed 084 doubtfully from beneath the bill of her red trucker hat.
Her worries were valid.
She was trusting me to take her out alongside Cass and 084, fuck up a bunch of superpowered nazis, avoid getting arrested by the PRT for manslaughter, escape, and do all of that cleanly without suffering a painful and unfortunate death. With only limited knowledge of what I can do, Sherrel was blindly pushing forward with the very real fear of dying and failing hanging over her shoulders. She was sober, too - cold turkey at that, so a hodge podge of drugs weren’t there to push her natural bravery into suicidal recklessness.
I tilted my head, eyeing the frowning woman.
Sherrel is hesitant. Sherrel is doubtful. Sherrel-
Was scared. She was just hella good at hiding it behind perversion and levity.
‘Fuck it, then - let’s show ‘em what 84 can do.’
Innately being aware of his Programs due to the Grimoire wasn’t enough, anyway. Practice made perfect, and although Cass would be the main one benefitting from 084’s combat support, it was still important for me to at least get familiarized with what he was able to do first-hand. It would also help cull the gnawing, dull sense of anxiety lurking at the back of my soul; the same anxiety that constantly whispered that allowing Cass to come along with us was a stupid fucking decision.
She wanted to come, though - according to her, it was to gain hands-on experience in the field and be able to assist with scrambling communications and deescalating PRT response. Personally, I think she just wanted to prove herself to me and Sherrel.
Dumb, but I was also pretty dumb because I green-lit her participation.
My girl had heart, and if she wanted to get in on the action I wasn’t going to tell her to fuck off and stay at home. More than the anxiety, my heart thundered with the overwhelming confidence that Cass would not come to harm tomorrow. Whether it was from 084 turning some asshole’s body inside out with magic, or me embodying the full breadth of The Lore of Heavens and dropping an actual meteor down on Brockton Bay, I was going to fully ensure my girlfriend’s long and prosperous health.
But first, having lil’ buddy show off some tricks.
“L-like I said, big guy - I’m not tryna say you’re lyin’ or anything…” Sherrel’s voice, nervous and cautious, brought me out of my thoughts.
I blinked, locking back in just in time to see Cassie waving her phone at the mechanic with an eager grin on her face. “Relax, that isn’t Jay’s ‘fuck you, I’m pissed’ frown. You see how his finger is twitching and he keeps glancing between me and 084… we’re probably about to see what his Programs can do.”
Sherrel’s face drew down into a bemused frown. “I’ve known you two for a fuckin’ day. How the hell am I supposed to notice all that?”
“You’re not. It’s my job as his girlfriend to be aware of all of Jay’s little tells - that way I get early warning when he turns all evil and starts slaughtering puppies or something,” Cassie said seriously, nodding her head once.
Sherrel paused, and her frown twitched into a considering smirk. “... Fair ‘nuff, short stack.”
“I’ll never slaughter puppies,” I cut in belatedly, lowering my sunglasses a couple inches so that the two women were privy to the full force of my unamused glare. “And yeah, we’re gonna try out lil’ buddy’s Pod Programs. Cass, go put on something you can sweat in.”
Her face paled. “Wait, why only me? And why didn’t you say anything about turning evil, you weirdo?!”
I shrugged my shoulders, coolly pushing my sunglasses back up my nose.
She pouted, wiggling her plush butt back into her seat. “No, you don’t just get to act all mysterious and smooth like you didn’t just-”
“Ahhhh. Welp, let’s get this fuckin’ show on the road!” Sherrel grinned after letting out a loud, obviously forced yawn. She stood, kicking the dining chair back under the table and grabbing both her and Cassie’s coffee mugs in order to take them to the sink. When she passed the quiet 084, it was with a narrow-eyed side glance. “Hopefully you’re packin’ like your daddy, pipsqueak.”
Cassie’s resolve faltered, and she slammed her fists on the dining table. It barely shook from the force. “D-don’t just ignore me, you-”
“Affirmative. This Pod is well-equipped to assist Master and Mistress with any and all threats, be they foreign or domestic.” Came 084’s robotic, monotonous response, cutting off Cassie’s words once again.
Sherrel merely snorted, turning on the tap to rinse out the two cups and place them on the dish rack. “Let’s go see it, then.”
“Ooooh! Assholes! Fuckers! F-frickin’ douche nozzles!”
Cassie’s face looked positively volcanic at this point, her cheeks blotchy and red as she pushed herself out of her chair and glared at me. Sherrel and I, almost in sync, shared a surreptitious glance of amusement at the girl’s plight. Unfortunately for her, no amount of love could ever temper my constant desire to tease, and thankfully Sherrel was socially aware enough to pick up on and continue my little game.
We were burning daylight, though.
“Relax,” I chuckled, taking a step forward and brushing a messy strand of hair out Cassie’s flushed face.
“Fuck off.” She wrinkled her nose and turned her head head away, but my fingers were too swift for all that - I tilted her head back towards mine and leaned down to press a hot, gentle kiss against the softness of her pouty pink lips.
Her knees buckled, and the frustration in her body bled away immediately. “Mmm…”
My lips grinned against hers, and I opened my eyes to meet her fluttering gaze. “Meet us in the Training Hall in ten minutes, wearin’ a hoodie and some sweatpants. Grab the uzi out the dresser too, yeah?” I was speaking quietly, but the deepness of my voice seemed to fill the entire kitchen.
Cassie’s hands groped at my white t-shirt, wrinkling the fabric, and the sweet scent of coffee drifted past my nostrils when she sighed dreamily. “Y-yeah.”
“Good girl.”
She squeaked when my hand smacked against her pajama-clad bubble butt, sending ripples through the supple flesh. “Eee! God, Jay, you’re such a fucking perv...” she breathed, fighting down a wide smile that so desperately wanted to take over her lower face.
“You like it,” I countered easily, giving her ass a light squeeze before backing away. “You’re smilin’, too - guess we’re both perverts.”
That made the smile fully break through, and Cassie about-faced and made a bee-line for the living room before I could call her out on anything else. “Shut up!”
When I shook my head and looked back at Sherrel, I was met with the bombastic blondie eyeing me with her hands on her wide, jean-warping hips. It was easy to distinguish the feelings that she wore pretty clearly on her sleeve - amusement and curiosity, mostly. She continued to eye me even as I made my way across the kitchen floor, heading towards the doorway that would take us down into the Training Hall of the Sanctum. I could feel the energy circulating in the room - a familiar, static-like anticipation. What could it be, other than pure, primal, base sexual tension?
It was almost palpable, and it built between us every moment Sherrel witnessed Cass and I making kissy faces at each other.
I paused at the exit, glancing over my shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “You coming?”
She clicked her teeth, a wry grin on her lips. “Well damn big guy, I really fuckin’ hope so, what with you playin’ hot and cold for the past day and a half.”
It was my turn to let out a loud snort. Chuckling dryly to myself, I turned on my heel in order to continue making my way out of the kitchen. “Touche.”
Sherrel, her voice high and clear with peals of laughter, followed right behind me.
…
…
…
Fifteen minutes later found our ragtag group down in the spotless, sprawling gymnasium that I’d unofficially dubbed the ‘Training Hall’, standing - or, in Sherrel’s case, lounging back - beneath the dull, fluorescent lights hanging from the dark stone ceiling. Other than me rejecting Smoke Bombs - again - from the Grimoire, the wait had been pretty uneventful.
Cassie stood nervously beside Pod 084, clad in only a crop-top pink hoodie, Vans, and baggy white sweatpants. The uzi I’d taken from a Merchant safehouse over a week ago was gripped tightly in both of her hands, though I noticed that she was holding it with some familiarity - she held it high on the grip, her index finger noticeably held away from the trigger guard.
Considering she was apparently born to some dysfunctional Asian family, I was willing to bet that she learned how to hold an SMG from her time with the ABB and not from childhood gun range excursions.
I paced the smooth wooden floor forty or so feet away from the nervous girl and her robot assistant, hands resting snugly in the pockets of my gym shorts.
“Jay,” Cass hesitantly called out, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. “What’s the plan here? Because if you want me to do some crazy shit like shoot at you, I’m going to friggin’ shoot you.”
Her concern for my wellbeing was touching, it truly was, but it was also pretty redundant. While my current clothing wasn’t enchanted or Infused, I was fairly confident in my ability to get the fuck out of the way of a bullet if it came down to it.
While my base reflexes weren’t on ‘bullet-time’ levels, I had other things working for me - Hidden Intuition being one of them. With my new and improved eyesight, courtesy of becoming Superior, I was able to clearly see her finger near the trigger guard. The gun seemed brighter in my eyes, more dangerous. The second her index finger even flinched towards the trigger, I’d be privy and have enough time to teleport across the room. Conveyance having a new range of one hundred feet was huge.
But we weren’t here for all that.
If Cassie wanted to join the fight tomorrow, I needed her and 084 at the top of their game - and that meant taking the kiddie gloves off. I wouldn’t hurt them… too much.
“Relax, you’re not shooting at me,” I soothed her, taking one hand out of my pocket. My next words were whispered in the tonal language of the Aethyr, the syllables warm and tingly on the tip of my tongue. “Xamön'oy kurnas.“
Chamon and Ghur began coalescing around my fingers, thickening and writhing in the air until, mere moments later, it formed a small, glimmering golden whistle. The metal was cold in my hand, and oddly heavy - I estimated about four or five pounds.
Cassie’s eyes narrowed. “Jay… Jay, what’s that? Why are you holding a- is that a whistle?”
084 hovered over to her left side, the light on its head blinking red. “Affirmative. Report: It does appear to be a whistle made of gold, Mistress.”
She clenched the uzi tighter, ignoring the AI’s unintentional sarcasm. “Gold usually means ‘really scary shit’ when it comes to him…”
I smiled. “Lil’ buddy, listen to Cass and protect her against any and all threats from now on. You’re gonna be in danger soon, so get ready. ” I spoke directly to the little robot while taking a couple steps back.
The light flashed green. “Affirmative. This Pod will protect the Mistress with its life.”
CLICK.
“Holy shit.”
I heard Sherrel gasp from the sidelines when 084’s undercarriage opened up like a metal sliding tray, dropping down a heavy-duty minigun barrel that was already beginning to hum and spin at a slow, lazy pace. Cassie’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates as she took an instinctive step back behind the dangerous-looking robot.
“W-wow. Okay. Okay, Jay, we can talk about this-”
“Cass,” I interrupted the nervous hacker, bringing the golden whistle up to my smirking lips.
“... Yeah?” she whimpered pitifully.
“Remember: Determination. Willpower. Big, heavy balls. You don’t wanna die, right?”
She paled. “... No?”
“Sweet. Then figure out how to use the power I gave you before you run outta ammo.”
“What-”
“Love ya, babe.”
I blew into the whistle, and the Yellow Wind of Magic heeded its shrill cry.
It rose from the smooth wooden floor like a large, glimmering pool of molten gold. To say that my hound was massive would be an understatement; before my very eyes, the molten gold liquid warped, stretched, and hardened into a snarling, hackle-raised beast roughly the size of a Ford Fiesta - smaller than Bitch’s dogs, for sure, but a shit ton larger than any pure blooded wolf you could find in a forest. Its entire body was carved with intricate and elaborate designs that reminded me of gilded leaves, if you ignored the obvious cogs and wheels powering its muscular limbs.
More prudent than its badass steampunk aesthetic, however, was the animalistic, bestial rage that I could sense emanating from its body as it snarled at the calmly hovering Pod. Changing Gehenna’s Golden Hounds to only summon one wasn’t that difficult - it just required a smaller amount of Chamon gathered for the spell. Making the Hound not immediately lunge across the Hall and turn 084 into a doggie toy was a bit harder to spin, but trace amounts of Ghur and a little bit of natural talent with the Winds did most of the heavy lifting.
Making the golden dog not bloodthirsty and ferocious, though? … Eh, a little bit over my paygrade. Maybe it was possible once I finally cracked Qhyash.
“What the fuck is that?!” Cass screamed, real fear amplifying her normally high-pitched voice to a shrill screech.
I dug a finger in my ear with a slight grimace. “Shit, Cass - volume. This is Chop, and homie’s a lil’ hungry. Ain’t that right, boy?”
WHIRRR.
CRACK.
It snapped its golden jaws, sparks flying around its metallic teeth as it lowered its upper body down to the ground and leered at its ‘opponents’.
Cassie balked. “I-”
“I won’t let it actually kill you,” I cut her off, taking a step forward to rest a calming hand on the Hound’s large, cold head. It didn’t shift an inch, the crimson glow of its glaring eyes brightening in intensity. “But we need to see 084 in action, and you need to get used to working with him. If you figure out how to use the energy attacks, cool - I’ll always be proud of you, but the main priority right now is getting you two synchronized so that 084 can effectively protect your ass. The last thing I wanna see tomorrow night is you gettin’ caught out and slammed by some nazi fuck. ‘Cuz then I’ll have to blow up Lord Street. You feel me?”
There was a contemplative silence after my little speech.
I had made sure to not raise my voice and give life to the very real frustration I was starting to feel creeping into my chest. It wasn’t like I could blame her for being afraid. Facing off with a few nazis in broad daylight in a residential district was probably a lot less scary than standing thirty five feet away from a snarling, angry golden dog the size of a small car. Hell, most people wouldn’t have the balls to even entertain the idea, nonetheless actively stand there in real life and do it at the whim of their crazy ass boyfriend.
And I was pretty fuckin’ crazy. What the fuck even was this training exercise? I could think of at least ten different ways this ended badly.
But then again, I wasn’t the best teacher. Sometimes a trial by fire was the best way to- …
‘Wait a second…’
It was like a light bulb exploded in my skull.
I looked up, catching Cassie’s gaze from across the Hall, and forced Heroic Aptitude directly into her soul.
Power-Granting Deal didn’t require physical touch, it only needed consent, and apparently the utter trust and submissiveness Cassie felt towards me counted as such to the powers that be. I could see it in her eyes when the power took hold, the same way I could feel the lack of something warming up my own soul. It wasn’t an all-encompassing void; I knew that it would be back soon, that celestial mote of power that acted as my strongest foundation, but I definitely felt a bit… naked without it.
“I don’t know what you did, Jay, but… I-I’m ready. I understand what you’re doing.” Cass announced, clearly fighting through her wavering confidence in order to put on a brave face. It was a useless effort, considering her knees were shaking a little, but the glow of determination in her eyes was real. She gritted her teeth, taking a shaky step forward in order to stand equal to 084, and tightened her grip on the submachine gun.
Her eyes narrowed. “You’re right, like frickin’ always. I asked to stand by your side as an equal, not some stupid damsel in distress. If- if that means getting mauled by America’s most expensive dog, then screw it. That’s better than being useless…”
I blinked in confusion, a pang of concern darting through my chest. “You’re not useless, Cass-”
She instantly cut me off. “Nope, not listening - I already said my cool heroine speech. Hey! Yeah, you stupid stinky neutered yellow mutt! I bet you don’t have a penis! B-because robots don’t have dicks!” Her voice was beginning to grow in strength, a burst of confidence and energy coming out of seemingly nowhere as she pointed the uzi sideways at the dog - and, by extension, me.
Not good - clearly I had to teach her a little bit more about gun safety.
In a quiet hiss of displaced air, I teleported well out of flagging range - right beside Sherrel. The spectating blonde was munching distractedly on doritos, her fingers sticky and orange as she watched the proceedings with gleaming, amused eyes.
“Howdy,” she smirked at me, offering the bag of nacho cheese goodness to me. “Want some? The show’s gettin’ pretty damn excitin’!”
Did her accent just get thicker? And when the hell did she even get chips?
“Nah, I’m good. ‘Preciate it, though.” I waved her off, returning my focus to Cass and her sudden growth of testicles. I was confident that I’d be able to disperse the Yellow Winds before any actual damage was done to the Pod or Cass, but not paying attention and letting it get that close in the first place was the highest form of ignorance. She had to struggle and learn, not die.
My Hound rose to its full height at my sudden disappearing act, a deep, robotic growl of warning rumbling from its segmented chest. It moved more like a leopard than it did a dog, prowling forward on large, heavy metal paws that scratched grooves into the smooth wooden floor. It wasn’t getting closer yet, simply watching. Waiting for the best time to strike.
084 hovered higher, alighting over Cassie’s slim shoulder like a heavily armed guardian angel. “This Pod detects a significantly elevated heart rate. Proposal: Eliminate the threat promptly to alleviate fear.” As if in response to his simple words, the Pod’s minigun barrel began spinning even faster with an audible whirr of servos and gears.
Cassie swallowed, her eyes flickering over to me and Sherrel before cutting back to the prowling Hound. “That might be our only option. Shit, I don’t even have my gear… This really isn’t fair, Jay.” The hand gripping the uzi began to shake, and Cassie bit her lip, eyes flickering back over to me.
I gave her a thumbs-up.
A wry, desperate smirk formed on her face, and she looked back at the Hound. “Fuck it, life isn’t fair I guess. Light ‘em up, 84!”
“Affirmative. ‘Lighting them up’.”
PEWPEWPEWPEW-!
The sudden onslaught of glowing, pale white orbs were swift, overwhelming, and destructive.
Sherrel and I gawked as a veritable barrage of hard light bullets blasted towards the Golden Hound, the only auditory evidence of the firepower on display being a quiet, almost serene ‘pew’ sound and the hum of the barrels rotating faster and faster. The bullets made loud, reverberating pinging noises as they slammed into the automaton, forcing it backwards and battering its shiny frame.
“O-oh shit! Hell yeah, Pod! Eat it, asshole!” Cassie cheered, her voice an odd mix of fearful and excited. Bringing her own gun up to bear, the hacker held it tightly in both hands and pulled her finger back on the trigger. The SMG barked violently in her hands, the sound of gunshots echoing against the walls as lead bullets joined the Pod’s unyielding hard light barrage.
At a range of 12 or so meters, Cassie’s aim was actually kinda decent - only half of the magazine went into the ceiling instead of the majority. The moment when she realized that the SMG was already empty could have been amusing, but my amusement was stifled by worry and anticipation when I noticed something that the frustrated Cassie didn’t.
The Hound had regained its bearings.
As obnoxious and overbearing as his minigun was, 084’s firearm wasn’t made to overpower and tear apart heavily armored enemies. The Hound, magically created from strands of Chamon, was fucking beefy. Wasn’t it complete bullshit, then, that it was also damned fast?
It lunged across the Hall.
“Oh, come the fuck on! I barely even shot the frickin’- WOAH!” Cassie’s eyes widened, and she went to throw her arms up in a desperate attempt to shield her face-
It was rebuffed.
The Hound let out a tinny whine, skidding backwards and pawing at the ground as it cautiously eyed the newest development. Glowing silver shields, like oversized fractals of hard light, were rotating clockwise around Cassie’s body. 084 zipped around her head, alighting over her other shoulder in order to pepper the Hound’s armored exterior with another hail of bullets.
“Pod Program A060: Physical Shield,” The Pod announced matter-of-factly, as if discussing the weather over a cup of tea. The quiet ‘pew pew pew’ of his minigun firing might as well have been background noise.
“R-right, thanks 84!”
Cass stumbled away from the Hound, her grip on the uzi tightening in panic as the clockwork beast scrambled against the floor, golden claws screeching and scratching as it lunged maw-first at her again. “Shit!”
CRACK.
The shield flickered a dull gray before lighting up again, holding strong against the heavy impact of the car-sized automaton. The Hound snarled, its paws making an agonizing screeching noise against the silver fractals as it swiped and clawed with reckless abandon, trying its damndest to get through to the Pod.
Sherrel glanced up at me, chips long abandoned at her side. “You, uh… sure ‘bout this, boss man? Kitty cat ain’t really fillin’ me with a lotta confidence.” There was concern in that flippant southern drawl of hers.
I clenched my fist, ceasing the tapping that had begun almost as soon as the mock battle had started. “She’s got it,” I muttered confidently, narrowing my eyes at the sight of the Hound finally breaking through the shield. My hands twitched, aching with a protective fervor to protect and destroy, but the rational and logical part of my brain persevered.
I just had to have faith in them.
As if rewarding my faithfulness, the Grimoire lasso’d in another mote of light - this one small and minor, but effective nonetheless.
Arcane (World of Darkness: Sorcerer - 100 CP): You have the mystical trait known as “Arcane” that makes it extremely difficult to be remembered or detected when you don’t want to be. This also provides a degree of protection against sympathetic magic.
Without too much further thought, I accepted the perk, reeling it into my soul. Anything that pushed away people’s ability to detect me against my will was infallible, especially in a world like Earth Bet, where Thinkers were fucking annoying.
I locked back into the battle happening in front of me, however, putting my newest ability to the back of my head for later monologuing.
Cassie, in a burst of cleverness, clasped hands with 084 and whooped as he jetted into the air, allowing them both to dodge somewhat gracelessly over the Hound’s head. Something in her changed as her feet trailed over its golden fur, like something was clicking, and suddenly the gun in her hand was spitting out blue bullets made of a familiar, wisp-like energy.
Mana.
She grinned like a crazy person, fear and adrenaline and determination lighting up her face. The soul-siphoning magic was doing nothing to the Hound - only 084’s constant barrage of hard light ammunition was doing real, if superficial damage, but Cassie didn’t seem to care at that moment.
Mana bullets began peppering the floor almost as much as they were slamming into the automaton.
“DIE, DIE, DIE! HAHAHA!”
Was she laughing now? …God, that was kinda sexy.
“... Hot damn. Consider my ass corrected.” Sherrel snorted, relaxing her tense shoulders when it was clear that Cassie and 084’s onslaught was slowly but surely wearing the oversized dog down. It was getting sloppy, stumbling over its own paws as it tried, in vain, to zig-zag around Cass and 084’s combined bullet hell assault.
“Trust the process, woman.” I grinned with pride, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Hah, don’t get too cocky now! She can still fuck up and get-”
A bone-rattling roar shook the Training Hall, rudely interrupting Sherrel and almost deafening me. I cut my eyes back to the battle, where the Hound was dashing towards the hovering forms of Cassie and Pod 084. They were maybe thirty feet in the air, a safe enough distance away from most mundane land mammals…but the Hound was anything but ‘mundane’. I could see in the way that its body lowered to the ground and its legs hissed steam in preparation. Hidden Intuition whispered warnings in the back of my head.
It was going to jump. High. And unless they moved…
“Boss,” Sherrel swallowed, her cheese-stained hand blindly reaching up to pull on the hem of my gym shorts. She apparently noticed the same thing I did, which was impressive in and of itself.
“Trust the process,” I repeated through a stubborn clench of the jaw.
We watched as it finally launched itself at the airborne pair, taking the wide-eyed Cassie completely off guard. She flailed like a floating fish, one hand still gripping onto 084 and the other jerking to the left as she desperately sprayed another burst of mana bullets at the lunging Hound.
“Craaaap, 84…!”
“Pod Program R030: Hammer.”
There was a hum of energy, the whistle of motion, and then…
CRUUUNCH!
A massive glowing hammer, built from fractals of silvery white light and fading Angelic runes, swung down from over Cassie’s head as if wielded by an invisible, godly blacksmith. The head of the hammer was almost the same size as the Hound itself, so when it slammed into the side of its gilded body with enough force to generate a shockwave, it practically pulverized the Chamon-empowered gold into scrap. The Hound blasted towards the floor in a pitiful blur of screeching and warping metal.
The crash shook the Training Hall.
Wooden splinters and sundered scraps of gold metal littered the small crater that the thoroughly smashed Golden Hound now layed in, and the heavy, dense scent of Chamon smelled like it was even thicker in the air.
I stared blankly at the sudden destruction. Was that not overpowered as fuck? 'And he has sixteen other programs?! Nerf Pods, man.'
084 lowered Cassie calmly to the ground, and the shell-shocked girl promptly dropped back on her ass. The uzi clattered to the floor beside her, but she paid the weapon no mind - too busy staring blankly at the depowered corpse of the Golden Hound. Even at a distance, I could see the blend of emotions going through her face; the relief, the fear, the elation, the pride. Although her attacks hadn’t been effective, she’d faced off against the beast alongside 084 and won. Even more than that, she finally pushed through whatever was holding her back from learning Weapon Magic.
I was so fucking proud.
“Well shit,” Sherrel laughed, jumping to her feet with a grunt. “That’s what I’m fuckin’ talking ‘bout, kitkat! You killed the fuck outta that mangy sack of golden shit!” She began making her way over to the center of the Hall, a jubilant bounce in her step. I matched her pace.
Her voice, and the sound of our footsteps, seemed to snap Cass out of her stupor. The hacker blinked, her shaking hands coming up to squeeze and pat her own flushed cheeks. “H-holy crap, holy shit, holy fuck. We destroyed it. Oh my god 84, we frickin’ dusted it! You're crazy!” With a sudden burst of energy, Cass leaped up and glomped the silently hovering Pod. It didn’t shift an inch with the addition of her weight.
The light on its head blinked green.
“Gratitude confirmed. This Pod will forever protect Mistress from nazi scum and golden puppies.” Its robotic voice, if such a thing was even possible, sounded proud.
She snickered, rubbing her cheek against the cool metal of his smooth gray hull. “Uh-huh. For such a smarmy asshole, you’re surprisingly reliable.”
“Backhanded compliment confirmed. Report: Affinity increased.”
“PFFT, ditto.”
As we approached the two victors, Cassie pushed herself off of the robot, landing softly on her feet, and turned towards us with an unreadable expression on her face. There was a glow about her now, a confidence and eagerness to her face and body language that hadn’t been there before the battle. Although the fight had been short and fierce, it was probably the scariest situation she’d been in since… forever? The ABB?
Heroic Aptitude had sharpened my battle instincts and reflexes in my very first fight against those nazi assholes a couple weeks ago, so I was hoping that Cassie’s experience was similar.
I offered the silent girl a crooked grin. “I know you’re probably wanting to use your new ‘pew pew’ powers to shoot me in the dick, but I promise; you were never in any actual dan- oof!”
She slammed into my chest like a missile, wrapping her arms around my waist and squeezing me with all of her strength. It felt more like someone binding me with spaghetti noodles than a fully grown woman trying her best to crush my bones with her love, but I wasn’t going to be the asshole to tell her that.
“I know you were trying to help, you jerk. In your own ridiculous way. And I don’t feel as scared anymore now… so thank you. I… I think I needed this win. Before tomorrow night.” Cassie mumbled into my shirt, her warm body flush against mine. I paused for the briefest of moments, surprised at the sincerity and lack of anger in her tone, but the surprise passed me by quickly and I almost immediately wrapped my arms around her.
“... I am pretty fuckin’ great, aren’t I?” I chuckled, rubbing a gentle circle on her lower back.
Cassie pulled her head back so that I was able to see the completely deadpanned scowl on her face. “Don’t push it, mister. I still kinda wanna shoot you in the dick. A few inches shot off might deflate your ego a little.”
I grimaced, stuck between amusement and phantom pain. “Heh... sorry?”
“Huh… wonder if we can use any of this metal for the ride. Sheeeesh, that tacky pup was a motherfuckin’ unit! All this scrap… hahaaa, come to momma!” Sherrel’s loud voice drifted from behind the two of us.
Cassie detangled herself from my arms, a note of pride and happiness flitting across her face when she noticed the mechanic eyeballing the wreckage with wide, impressed eyes. Briefly standing on her tippy toes to press a soft, chaste kiss on the corner of my lips, Cass shot me a smile before jogging over to the battered and steaming body of the fallen Golden Hound.
Sherrel glanced over at her approach, offering a grin and a fist to the smaller girl, and Cassie’s smile turned into full-blown beaming as she slammed her fist into Sherrel’s.
“Woooah… it’s a lot bigger up close, when I’m not, y’know…trying to not die from it’s six inch teeth.”
“Hah, I fuckin’ bet! Think I needa start callin’ you ‘tiger’ instead of ‘kitty cat’, eh? Your claws are startin’ to come in, girly.”
“R-really? I mean, it’s not like I haaate being called kitty…”
I snorted, tuning out the women’s conversation and allowing myself to cool down. Throughout the entire fight, despite knowing that she was never in any actual danger, my blood had been pumping wildly through my veins almost the entire time. If I felt this way in a mock battle, cordoned off in my own fucking Fortress of Solitude, how would I feel if she actually got harmed during a real fight? I joked about blowing up Lord Street and starting my ‘villain arc’ if Cassie ended up getting fucked up, but they were supposed to have been just that - shitty jokes. I wasn’t ruled by my emotions… usually.
But with this magical power practically bubbling out of my soul… would I be able to contain my anger if something like that came to pass? I was a vengeful motherfucker. I was hunting down the Empire Eighty-Eight to the last man because they decided to punch me in the jaw on my first day on Earth Bet. I was a firm believer in ‘an eye for an eye’, except I was taking a shit ton more than your eye if you ever blinded me.
The thought was kinda… sobering. I was actually kinda-
“Master,” Pod 084’s monotonous voice shot through my increasingly morbid thoughts, bringing me out of my reverie. “This Pod believes in the condemnation of filthy litterers, and have brought you the Mistress’ firearm to stow away.”
In its little grubby mitts was the uzi Cass had been using earlier as a catalyst for her Weapon Magic. It wasn’t a bad match for the girl, but… she probably needed something smaller. Less ‘spray and pray’, more ‘calculated’.
The maniacal laughter was hot, but she wasn’t built like that.
“Thanks lil’ buddy. And good work out there - I want you and Cass to familiarize yourselves with your Pod Programs while Sherrel and I are out, ‘ight? And practice mobility too - that hover thing you did with her was some prime shit.” I said, taking the gun and slipping it into the back of my waistband. The smile I offered him felt wooden on my face. Stiff.
084 lingered, its head-light flickering red. “Affirmative. However, this Pod detects… unease. Master’s expression does not match previously recorded examples of ‘genuine happiness’. Query: What is wrong? Did we not win?”
The questions came out of left field, and so did 084’s sudden emotional insightfulness. I blinked, taken aback.
“Nothing’s wrong, homie. It’s just…” I glanced back at the girls, noting that they were actively trying to pull apart torn panels of gold from the dead Hound, and lowered my voice. “We haven’t won yet. Not even close. And I’m keepin’ it cool, trying to get everyone prepared for the Empire, but… I’m still kinda scared, y’know?” I tried to keep my tone light and casual, refusing to even acknowledge the possibility that I’d crack while talking to a fucking robot.
084 hovered empathetically. How it did that, I had no idea, but the way it floated up and down while listening to me felt personal. Or maybe I was starting to lowkey go crazy from the gigantic amount of repressed stress writhing in my body.
“This Pod recognizes the Master’s emotional turmoil. Query: Why are you afraid?”
Hah. Why, indeed? I rolled the question around in my head for a few moments, actually thinking about it, and the answer that came to the forefront of my mind was relatively straightforward. I wasn’t afraid for myself. No, that ship had sailed a while ago. I didn’t want to die, and I’d fight tooth and nail to make sure that I came out of everything in one piece, but I wasn’t afraid to die. A Hero couldn’t stall in the face of death.
No, I…
“I’m just scared of failing. The Empire is stacked, the PRT is obsessed with just keepin’ the status quo, and the only allies I really have are you, my hacker girlfriend, and Sherrel - who was literally dying from meth abuse two days ago.” I shook my head, eyes flickering left and right before settling on the blank white canvas that was 084’s ‘face’. My finger ached to start tapping, and I resisted the urge. God I fucking hated feeling sorry for myself.
“I’m kinda all we got right now. I’m holdin’ it together, I will hold it together, but if I fuck up…”
The Pod listened silently, and when I finished it simply hovered there, watching me. Seconds went by, one, two, and then ten, and just as I was about to say ‘fuck it’ and turn away, 084 stirred.
His light flashed green. “This Pod has finished simulating one thousand, one hundred and seventy six possibilities for tomorrow’s mission, utilizing information collected about the Empire Eighty-Eight from classified PRT databases. Out of one thousand, one hundred and seventy six simulations, we have experienced complete and abject failure in approximately sixty of them. As a result, this Pod estimates a ninety five point three percent success rate for tomorrow’s mission, assuming all conditions are optimal.”
There was a lull, where I simply stared blankly at 084, and he spoke up again. “Proposal: Simply do not ‘fuck up’. Win. Numbers do not lie, Master, and this Pod is equipped with state of the art calculation software.”
…
I found myself chuckling, an airy, almost drunk feeling warming my blood.
The overpowered alien AI robot was right, of course - because why wouldn’t he be? I just had to win. ‘Just do better’ had been one of my favorite things to say back when I was a toxic gamer, dominating the leaderboards and pissing off both teammates and enemies alike. Simply be better than the enemy, dominate them completely and wholly, and relish in the victory afterwards. Why the fuck would I lose to a bunch of weak, cowardly, ignorant skinhead fucks with parasites attached to their brains when I had motherfucking magic? Honest to Jesus, ‘fuck your physics’-blessed arcane mastery?
It was crazy how the white supremacists were being hunted by someone actually superior to them on a genetic level.
Damn, I really hated feeling sorry for myself. It made me forget how fucking awesome I was. I was black, handsome, and proud, and God fucking damn it I would make Kaiser watch as I fucked his ex-wife, burned Medhall to the ground, and dap up his teenage son afterwards.
“You’re a fuckin’ G, 84.” I grinned at the little robot, showing it my fist. No more words were necessary, because the knuckles said it all.
084 promptly fist-bumped me, and it was the most adorable thing ever.
“Compliment confirmed. Rebuttal: No, you are a ‘fucking G’.”
A second, much louder bark of laughter escaped my chest.
Turning around, I began making my way towards Cassie and Sherrel, a bounce to my step that hadn’t been there before. They had managed to pry apart most of the Hound’s outer frame, though it was obvious that the mechanic had been doing the majority of the work. They both turned to face me as I approached, Cassie with a raised eyebrow and Sherrel with a stripe of oil on her cheek.
“‘Ight, Sherr - we’re headin’ out, gonna shake up those safehouses and see if we can grab a ride. Babe, stay here and practice with 84. Mobility and escape tactics, Pod Programs, all of that. I want you ready to kick ass tomorrow.” The words were said with a cool, laidback tone - but the underlying order was as clear as day.
I wasn’t sure if it was a testament to my new looks, the fact that other humans now instinctively recognized me as a ‘superior being’, or if I was just actually built different, but neither women even bothered to argue against me. Sherrel shrugged, wiping her hands on her bare legs and lightly hopping out of the small crater. A few golden cogs and nuggets were tucked into her bra and shorts.
Cassie, meanwhile, just let out an exaggerated sigh while pushing herself back up to her feet.
“Ugh, I guess I will if you’re using that tone,” she simpered with barely restrained eagerness, a small pout forming on her lips. The whole ‘rebellious attitude’ fell flat on its face when, as she meandered past me, the petite hacker whispered a soft ‘stay safe’ in my ear. As soon as I registered the words, she zoomed excitedly towards 084.
I didn’t get the chance to pinch her butt, but I was able to slide Heroic Aptitude out of her soul and back into mine - right in its former spot. My body became warmer with its addition.
“What a cutie,” Sherrel snorted, watching Cassie go with a fond smirk on her face. “I’m gonna go grab a duffel from upstairs to throw some of this gold in, boss. Come get me on your way out!”
“Sounds good.”
She was already moving, and I was not ashamed to admit that I did, in fact, love to watch her leave - something that the mechanic clearly knew, judging by the way that her hips were moving with just enough bounce to jiggle her fat ass.
I almost wanted to bite my fist. ‘God damn.’
A high-pitched wolf whistle rang out from behind me, and Sherrel let out a loud, cackling laugh as she exited the Training Hall. A quick glance backwards revealed Cassie, leaning against 084 with an exaggeratedly smug smirk on her face. She clicked her tongue and gestured towards the door with her head. “You see the ass on that chick, bro? Fuck, man.”
I shook my head with a rueful grin. “You’re ridiculous.”
Her giggles followed after me, even as I teleported to the exit and followed Sherrel up into the rest of the Sanctum.
With Cassie and 084’s training taken care of, there were only a few more tasks needing to be completed before the day was officially over.
Next stop? The Docks.
It was finally time to catch a ride, and while we were out tinkering… maybe it was time to look into Infusions, as well.
_________________________________
Perks Accepted:
Arcane (World of Darkness: Sorcerer - 100 CP): You have the mystical trait known as “Arcane” that makes it extremely difficult to be remembered or detected when you don’t want to be. This also provides a degree of protection against sympathetic magic.
1200 CP remaining.
OOC:
So, I had plans to have the whole training thing done halfway into this chapter and then move onto Jason and Sherrel out in the Docks, but… character development happened? As it does?
Next chapter will be car-tinkering, a bit of ABB pulverizing, and some Infusion experimentation. Our ‘heroes’ are sharpening their claws.
Comments
Wasted Ink
As of right now, Purity is the only one he’s had such a thought about, and that’s mainly because of the internet putting the idea in his head. Guess we’ll have to see about the others. ;]
Bob Saget
So, obviously the MC is going to arrest at least one or two members of the empire in the counter-ambush. But does he have a plan forming for how many/which of the empire women capes to seduce with his supernatural charisma, and then convert with his sex perk? He could manage all of them if he put the time in, but there are several ways to go about achieving the same result.
Big ToFu
The guy or girl in the chair should never be in punching range, this ain't watchdogs.
