GAM Bonus 078: Pinocchio (2022... the bad one)
🕑 Added 2023-02-28 18:14:39 +0000 UTCThis month, we left it to our patrons to decide which of the remaining Razzie nominees we should review. And you did not disappoint.
Comments
Morris Salisbury
I’ve never rewound and listened to something more than Heath with the puppet fucking. A+
potato potato also another potato
with all the talk about weird racist old disney movies...you guys should do song of the south as a secular bonus episode. I tracked it down recently and it's...ROUGH, you'd obviously have to pirate it, as it's not available anywhere legit, but it could be great episode all the same.
El Oso Café
I looked up the lyrics to Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee. It's just about the most innocent thing I've ever read.
Markus D
Yeah, I was very disappointed to find that it was NOT like the Song of the Roustabouts from Dumbo.
Battie
Did a spit take and snorted when Eli brought up the “ correct” pronunciation of “shimmera”. I love years in between callbacks! I know this isn’t the first time it’s been called back but this was definitely the best of them thus far. Chef’s kiss!
Nellapalooza
Rather than wasting your time with this Disney mess, I highly recommend the 2021 Russian CGI animated movie "Pinocchio: A True Story", which includes the voice talents of SpongeBob, Napoleon Dynamite, and Pauly Shore. A very WTF movie. Although maybe not as WTF as Kids VS Wizards. 😆
Uriah Jackson
It's bad, but is it worse than the Benigni version?
Matt Eldritch
And Vincent Price gives an amazing performance as the villian.
Markus Nävergård
and now i remember the obscure cartoon Fish Police. it had some very fuckable female fish characters
Markus Nävergård
the kid kidnapper is clearly ment to be Romani, so yeah problematic
Markus Nävergård
you know. if you wanna watch a kids cartoon that has a lot of sexual stuff in it, i can recomend the great mouse detective. It has a full on Burlesque sexy mouse dance number.
Michael Duchek
One fan theory is that Donkey from Shrek was a delinquent who escaped from Pleasure Island before his transformation was complete.
Bram Kaandorp
Small correction on the nose bit: Pinocchio was lying just because, and then they see that the key is right in line with his nose. So, Pinocchio lies again to get to the key, but then he has to clarify for Jiminy Cricket that it wasn't a real lie, just a white lie. Still stupid, maybe even more so.
Danial Gibson
This is even trippier for me because the current Dimension 20 campaign has Pinocchio as a warlock. Somehow that seems saner.
Steven
They’re “racist” against donkeys bc they’re acting like asses so they’re being turned into asses
Proud mom of fur babies
I read the lyrics to hi diddly di, they really aren't that bad, just a lot of actors become rich and rich people get beaver skin coats and watches and covered wagons. The only thing that could be considered problematic is buying out a candy store, even then it's a child's fantasy to buy and own a candy store. Just saying, I don't get the problematic aspect Eli proported existed.
Denise Huston
Team Sex Fish t-shirts when?
Timothy Thayer
If Heath wants puppet fucking, I have good news. Team America: World Police. Review that as a secular bonus.
Order-Border
this episode was so good! Eli saying speed feet makes me laugh so fucking hard i start crying
Jesse Ozog
Also, anyone familiar with the great comic book series Fables knows The Adversary's true identity
Jesse Ozog
Eli was doing a Jimmy Stewart impression for Tom Hanks, was I following that correctly?
Starshark
I was mad that Good Mourning didn't get the vote because that sure looks like garbage. But this episode was really good. I can only assume this was made for a hundred bucks like those Atlas Shrugged movies so Disney could keep the copyright or something.
AlteraGoodCivilization
If we figure out the right combo to get a donkey dick: please share it with everyone.
Colby Belk
When Noah said YOLO I inhaled a Pringle.
Robert Muse
Between this and hanging with Chet, I think doing this is a better choice
KeepingThePlatesSpinning
HE DOESN'T BECOME A REAL BOY! And his nose growing is only touched on once!?!?! What was this??? I'm all at once sorry for voting for Pinoccio and glad about it. You guys are amazing!
Markus D
I actually think that Disney WANTED to compete with Guillermo Del Toro's version, which was an awful idea, but would explain why the whole thing was so rushed. Like at the end of the movie with them escaping from Monstro and being on the beach afterwards it literally looks like the water CGI was left unfinished. Also, how did you not mention/find out that Jiminy Cricket was JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT?
Cave_Dweller
I love Eli's Tom-Hanks-Impersonating-Jimmy-Stewart impersonation.
Cave_Dweller
That's a Disney movie that *everyone* remembers much differently than the actual film. It's goddamn nightmare fuel.
Peter Graham
Thank You...
CarrieBoo
I also voted for this one.
Jay Voigt
Perfect timing, I just finished this week's GAM and Citation Needed and was feeling very sad I was out of PiaT podcasts to listen to, and then BAM, bonus episode! ❤️
Mark H
I voted for tits and dicks. And talking fetuses?
3rd Amendment Truther
Having not seen the original and not knowing the plot, my kids and I watched this together about a week ago. We were just wielded out by it, and then eventually just out right laughing at how silly it was, especially when Pinocchio decided to push the boat in the water away from the whale. It sounded like a blender.
CarrieBoo
I've always hated the Disney cartoon....the *audacity* of making a live action adaptation....wtf Disney?
Kyle Esposito
Fuck yes! I’ve been waiting since last Thursday’s diatribe 🔥