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TRAS Chapter 81: Looking and Seeing
🕑 Added 2025-03-12 15:06:42 +0000 UTCAiln and Safi on one side, Renea and Conrad on the other—two small worlds coexisted on the shoal, the first imperfectly shielded from the second.
“Safi, you know it’s…” Ailn sighed. “Don’t you think it’s time to start letting people back into your world?”
The typically easy-going girl now fixed on him with a glare. At first full of indignation, her eyes then started to brim with tears.
“I never pushed them out!” Safi raised her voice. She pointed at Naomi who stood skeptically at the edge of the shoal, while Conrad and Renea were playing blind man’s bluff. “People like her don’t wanna talk to me, okay?! Even the naiads don’t like me! So while I’m with my friend, why can’t you all just leave me alone?!”
“...For what it’s worth, those naiads are pretty catty with everyone,” Ailn said. Then he flinched, as Renea had somehow found her way right back to him and shoved her palm right into his cheek. “How’s she keep finding me?”
‘He’s here… I-I know he is!’ Renea’s voice, filled with all the conviction the girl could muster, rang directly into Ailn’s ear. ‘J-just reach out, Ani!’
“Mmm, maybe…” Safi frowned, as she watched Renea’s reaching grasp continuously strike Ailn. “She was nice. We can let her in, Cora. How’d you get in, anyway?”
“I wish I knew. Ow.”
Renea—suddenly capable of perceiving Ailn—gasped as her last desperate plea ended up as a karate chop to his head. Then she noticed Safi. “Ah! Safi! Your father’s… oh! You could see us…”
‘W-where did she go?!’ Conrad spun round and round looking for Renea.
‘Lady eum-Creid!’ Naomi’s voice, for once, sounded panicked as she finally actively joined in the search. ‘Lady Fleuve, where are you?!’
‘So Lady Renea disappeared as well…’ Kylian’s puzzled yet thoughtful voice came through.
“Uhuh,” Safi mumbled. She’d technically let Renea into her bubble, but she didn’t look at her.
Safi just sat at the water’s edge, hugging her knees. Then she perked up for a moment. “Should I let the knight in—”
“Let’s not,” Ailn said hastily.
Whatever relief Renea felt upon finding Safi was short-lived, her terror returning in a slow creep as her gaze drifted to the shadow in the water. Eyes locked, whole body trembling, she nonetheless stiffly walked over to sit by Safi.
“U-uh, um, is t-this the shadow you speak to?” Renea’s teeth were completely chattering. “I k-know we’ve never talked, Safi… b-but I’d like to get to know the two of you.”
It occurred to Ailn that Renea had probably not seen a shadow beast since the incident at the castle. In fact—she’d probably never seen one without Sophie at her side.
Whether Cora was actually a shadow beast or not was immaterial. Whatever the truth was, she sure resembled one.
“Her name’s Cora,” Safi said. Her tone was suspicious, as if waiting for Renea to say something disparaging about her friend.
‘...hello…’ Cora’s voice came through, crackly as ever.
“She said she likes your hat…” Safi said shyly, hugging her knees tighter.
“T-thank you, Cora,” Renea gulped, eyes flitting toward Ailn as if to ask ‘is this safe?’
“Cora’s… nice now,” Ailn said, clearing his throat. He folded his arms to casually disguise he was keeping his right hand right above his sword’s hilt.
Ailn got the sense Renea would have a better chance of getting through to Safi. If he remembered right, Safi was actually a few years Renea’s senior, yet she acted like the younger one. It was clear just how starved she was for the company of her peers.
“Everyone’s been—looking for you Safi,” Renea said. She kept her voice steady as she approached, even though her eyes kept darting anxiously toward Cora.
“...But why isn’t the knight more devastated?” Safi frowned.
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s just too cold is all, you know what I mean? Look at him! He’s got all these feelings for you know,” Safi sighed as if she were the reasonable one, while taking what was probably meant to be a surreptitious glance at Ailn. “If he acts like that, then before he knows it the big knight’s gonna come along and then it’s gonna be a bunch of forced drama.”
“...I’m sorry? I…Ummmm, you…ahem, you’re not… really? Sir Dartune?” Renea fumbled.
It was true that Kylian seemed the least perturbed of all. One vanishing act was terrifying, but two was a mystery to be solved. Seeing it happen twice seemed to have calmed him, rather than thrown him further off-balance.
‘Perhaps people disappear in intervals… or is there a pattern of action?’ Kylian mumbled to himself. He watched Naomi and Conrad carefully, should another one disappear—certain that if a third disappearance occurred, he could determine the mechanism.
Naomi, meanwhile, could no longer contain her guilt. It showed in her eyes—the slow sorrow of unresolved contrition, the face of a woman stunned by how swiftly life’s current could sweep away what was precious.
‘I can hardly believe it… Where did they go?’ The confident woman, so often amused, was begging with her eyes for the prank to end. ‘The young duke… his sister… Safi, where are you?’
Conrad had fallen blankly to his knees. He muttered incoherently, his voice mostly too low to make out.
Though Ailn was pretty sure he could pick up the words ‘should wait until it takes me, too.’
“Even Naomi looks more worried than the knight.” Safi sounded completely bewildered. “Why is that? She hates me.” Then she smacked her forehead, while her eyes lit up. “Ohhh, now I get it. This is like… I’m so serious that I won’t get derailed. The duke means so much to me that I’ll let my hurt come later, and then when we reunite, my feelings will spill out and—”
“Safi,” Renea’s voice came cold and stern—though she was still shaking, and desperately trying to ignore Cora. “Is that really what’s important right now…?”
“U-um, I guess it’s a little weird, I’m probably grossing you out—I don’t mean anything by it unless it means something to your brother—all of you heard me being really delulu, and then I kinda hit you with a deluluge—”
“Safi!” Renea interrupted, anger and envy tangled in her voice—but most of all, she was pleading. “Look at your father!”
Not ready for direct confrontation, Safi froze. Too upset to even tremble, she buried her head in her knees, clearly wishing she’d never let Renea in.
The shadowy tangle that was Cora, though, reached out from the water to tap Safi’s toe. And, when Safi finally lifted her head, Cora pointed toward Conrad. Then she nudged at the low of Safi’s back, to turn her around slowly.
Her father had simply stopped moving. His daughter taken from him, it seemed he was ready to wait there forever, until the force of something greater took him too. His face crumpled and wet with tears, was turned directly toward Safi—and yet, he couldn’t see her.
Face to face, and unable to speak to him, Safi started tearing up too.
“It’s not like I want him to cry, you know?” Safi whispered. “I…I don’t want to see this... J-just tell him that I’m alright! This is cruel...”
“Safi, why can’t you tell him?” Renea asked.
“Because h-he doesn’t… he won’t…” Safi stuttered, searching for something true to say. “B-because it hurts when he doesn’t understand me…” The tears started falling from her face, and her ruby eyes began to manifest. “It hurts… when he doesn’t even try…”
“Can’t you give him one more chance?” Renea asked softly. “Your dad’s looking for you now, Safi. He wants to see you and hear your voice.”
Forced to see just how much her dad was hurting, Safi gave a small nod.
That was Ailn’s moment to step in.
"Safi,” Ailn said carefully, “there might be another reason people kept their distance. Have you ever noticed anything different about your eyes?”
“My eyes?” Safi sniffled and tilted her head. “You mean when they turn red and start to glitter and glow in the dark? But I never used them on someone and turned them on and said ‘obey me!’ even though I really wanted to try it because I thought it might lead to a bad end and—”
“What if I told you they were making it harder for people to approach you?”
“...That’s the reason no one likes talking to me?” Safi’s voice got small. Hurt and confusion returned to her expression. Her lips started to quiver, and her eyes glistened. “All this time… it was my fault?”
“It wasn’t, Safi,” Ailn said. “I promise.”
“Then…”
“They made it easier for everyone to make mistakes—including me,” Ailn said, rubbing the back of his neck. “We should’ve tried to talk yesterday. Sorry.”
He knelt to meet Safi’s gaze. “I can take away your ruby eyes.” After a moment’s thought, he added, “I need to, actually. To save the world.”
“I’m part of a collectathon arc?”
“...Yes.”
“Did you look into the knight’s eyes like this too?”
“No.”
Ailn manifested his emerald eyes before Safi could get them off track—and the sight of them stole her breath.
This was actually one of Ailn’s least favorite parts of the job. Maintaining direct eye contact wasn’t just awkward—it meant there were serious obstacles to retrieving eyes from reincarnators who didn’t want to give them up.
More than that, though…
Looking into Safi’s eyes, the brilliant shimmer of her ruby irises felt like they were engulfing him.
______________
When Naomi was younger, she couldn’t help but see Safi as an eyesore.
The count’s daughter already had wealth and nobility; it seemed unfair she should possess such talent, too.
Naomi had taken pride in being a prodigy. Like most mages born and raised in Sussuro, she had a knack for manipulating water—a sense of its fluidity, an affinity with its flow. Her mana could go the easy pace of the Sussurokawa on the most quotidian of days; it could surge violently like the river’s floods.
Were it not for Safi, she would have been the best.
Naomi was not so small-minded that she couldn’t accept second place—she was too practical to let pride destroy her.
What bothered her was how little Safi needed to try.
A mage is ultimately defined by how they understand: whether through analysis and deconstruction, empathy and identification, or sheer imagination. Naomi lacked for none of these. Her rare blend of talents produced sharp insight, an almost effortless control as if she were the water itself.
Yet ironically, the one thing she could never conceive of was an imagination as grand as Safi’s.
When Safi spoke of her mana, or the river, or anything at all, it seemed to be meaningless drivel—Naomi never spared her a second thought.
Then, one day, Naomi watched Safi lift all the water from a stream as casually as she might draw it from a cup.
It was not the mere might of the act that hurt Naomi’s pride—it was the realization that the swift current of Safi’s thoughts had always held meaning that she’d simply failed to grasp.
For once, Naomi felt truly dwarfed by someone else. Even worse, she felt stupid.
“Rivers are like made of molecules, you know—oh I guess you don’t know that one, umm, they’re little river particles and they’re the whole river at the same time, yeah? It’s like that quote, the river’s the same and yet it always changes, you can never step into the same river twice, and umm…oh you probably haven't heard that one, either… anyway! You see what I mean? The water slips on itself and—”
“Lady Fleuve, we are not well-acquainted, are we?” Naomi interrupted.
For the first time since they’d met, Naomi heard Safi fall silent.
Maybe things would’ve been different if Naomi had just been patient that day. So many times she’d at least nodded through Safi’s surging thoughts. But she just couldn’t control herself.
“You understand the river in your way, and I in mine,” Naomi said coldly. “I ask that you respect this. Surely this is not too much to ask?”
There’s comfort in the illusion that a subtle cruelty is a small one. But when Naomi turned around, and saw the expression on Safi’s face… her heart sank.
There were tears in Safi’s eyes. The girl who always spoke ceaselessly had lost her words, and all she could offer was a small, quiet nod, to show she understood—before she slowly walked away.
It was only then that Naomi realized that what she’d done wasn’t small. She was small. A petty person who couldn’t bear standing next to someone greater.
So, she watched from afar as Safi continued to bloom beautifully—ever more talented, ever more graceful—all the while convincing herself that she had no place next to her.
Today, though, even this pretense crumbled away. Safi’s refusal to come home and her subsequent disappearance scared Naomi, and brought the kind of clarity that only fear could. All of her excuses started to sound stupid. Because they were.
Then, the three who vanished suddenly reappeared, and there, shyly hiding behind the young duke and his sister was Safi, with dirt all over her dress from when she’d been propped on the silt; feet wet from playing in the water.
And behind her, lurking at the far edge of the shoal….
Naomi felt her breath catch.
______________
Conrad’s expression came alive as he rushed over to hug his daughter.
“Safi! Where did you go, Safi?” His voice choked with emotion. “I was so terrified. I thought I’d lost you forever…”
He held her even tighter. “I’m sorry, Safi.”
For a while, his daughter held still in his embrace, her eyes wide. Struck speechless by the sudden physical expression of her father’s love, she slowly let herself sink into his arms. Her face started to flicker, as if she didn’t realize how much she was hurting. Then, all at once, she started to sob into her father’s shoulder.
That was when Conrad noticed the shadow in the water. His instincts—as a mage, as a count, and most of all as a father—all told him the same thing. This creature was dangerous.
And then he heard his daughter’s voice.
“I’m—sorry, dad…” Safi returned his hug, and started crying even harder. “I didn’t meant to hurt you—”
Conrad felt a lump of words catch in his throat. Mouth agape, he stood there wordlessly, looking between his crying daughter and the creature behind her.
He was caught between worlds: his own, and his daughter’s which he still didn’t understand. Fear tugged at his back, telling him to retreat, to snatch Safi up and bring her to the safe world he’d always known.
“Are you… my daughter’s friend?” Conrad asked.
A ripple ran through the water, and the shadow distorted beneath its surface, a low gurgling gasp drifting upward like it was struggling for air.
“T-that’s Cora,” Safi whispered brightly, leaning into her father’s ear. “She said she’s happy to meet you.”
“...Cora.” Conrad swallowed hard, and kept his voice light and natural. “I’m Safi’s father. It’s an honor to meet you.”
Once again, that gurgling sound came. And when his daughter looked at him expectantly, as though he should suddenly understand, Conrad could only stare back, at a loss.
Ailn cleared his throat lightly and stepped in.
“Cora says that Safi always talks about you,” Ailn said.
“Does she really?” Conrad’s expression softened, as his daughter tilted her head and gave him a curious smile. “The duke can understand your friend as well?”
“He thinks he can,” Safi declared.
Cora gurgled again—whatever that meant—and even though the sound filled him with so much dread, Conrad responded in earnest.
“You’ve watched over my daughter for a long time,” Conrad said, his tone of voice slowly turning remorseful. “The denizens of my county have treated you as a… malevolent spirit, and a murderer.”
Then came a gurgle of what Conrad could only guess was some form of reciprocation.
“It seems we’ve all misunderstood you,” Conrad said. “And I’m sorry for that.”
Ailn, who’d been watching this entire interaction with a complicated expression, put his hand on Conrad’s shoulder. “It’s been a long day, hasn’t it, Conrad? Why don’t you guys head back and rest?”
For once, Safi seemed to perk up at the thought of returning home. Breaking free of her dad’s hug and kneeling next to the water, she said goodbye to her strange friend. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Cora!”
“...Would you not return with us as well?” Conrad asked Ailn.
“Renea and I have a little bit of sightseeing we wanna do around here,” Ailn said, glancing over at the top of the bank.
