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December Bonus Story #2 -- Audio

🕑 Added 2022-12-05 22:33:55 +0000 UTC

Comments

beth semane

it’s so wild to hear you guys cheering on the first story 💀 op is definitely a trumpie like let’s use some common sense here. “we just want to talk without it being political” what isn’t political? politics are about values. the fact that they even want to hang out with op and the rest of their conservative ass family is bonkers in itself.

Talia

And they can have consequences. In Alejandra’s example, she could have set a consequence that if Lauren didn’t stop calling and bringing up drama during the workday, then she would only answer the phone outside of work hours. It doesn’t have to be as drastic as cutting someone off. A great book about boundaries is Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab.

jenalys h carl

Ultimatum focus on other people's behavior while boundaries focus on our own.

jenalys h carl

Yesss, this. So you're acknowledging that you can't control their actions but you can control yours. So with the original example, you tell your friend "if you call me during the work day, I will not answer your call". And the important part is sticking to that.

Sammie Reilly

Boundaries are limits you set that YOU uphold. This is what my therapist has always told me. Like if the boundary is that you can’t call me during my work day and I give you that boundary….if you pass this boundary I will have to take action. We have to uphold that boundary. We have to cut them off. Where the ultimatum is more asking the other person to pick between two options and make a decision.