IHaveHidden
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Chapter 17 (... Are empty)
🕑 Added 2024-02-25 02:22:13 +0000 UTCI was getting far too into the conversation way more than I expected. I was hesitant to explain what I had been through. Then I started to open up and the rest of it just came flooding out. It was so easy to do it once I got started. It felt good to talk about it even if I did not plan on revealing that much when I started. She had me admitting that I was a murderous psychopath when it came to Lily. I mean I am but I probably should not actively advertise that. The thought that this girl was in another dimension took away the bite from that. It was just so odd. She seemed to be able to say just the right questions to get me to open up.
She might be freaking out and it might lead me to having issues with the Chat Group if she tattles to the others. They were aware that I was obsessed with a red-head they were just not aware of how much I was. I don’t really care if they think I am a psychopath as they would be right. It would just be annoying if they started to treat me differently because of this. Like excluding me from missions because they were worried. Still, she did not seem to be freaking out. Also her questions were far too pointed. One moment I was talking about how I met Lily and the next I was admitting the world could go fuck itself.
She was the one to ask if I was willing to kill for Lily. Why would she even think about asking that? Was I just putting off the psycho vibes so well that it was a natural question to ask?
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Oh this is perfect!]
How the hell am I supposed to take that? Was I suddenly about to be blackmailed? It would not be effective but it would be fucking annoying. I mean if she did she might find her self falling off of a balcony by complete accident. I should not really be worried about how she would react to my madness when I can actively take her out. Sure it would suck losing an ally so early because I could not keep my mouth shut but it is what it is.
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: You are just like me.]
What the fuck does that mean? She threw me another curve ball. Did she have a similar backstory? The magical aspect could be cut out as she has admitted she was a part of the mundane world. So she was also fucked in the childhood department? I guess that does make sense she and her brother managed to be infected with parasites and starved. It did not scream happy childhood.
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Your redhead is what my brother is for me.]
That makes a disturbing amount of sense. If she felt for her brother the same way I felt for Lily. Well, I could see why she was likely to fuck her brother regardless of the taboo. That is just how important Lily was to me that her status was irrelevant. Wait a moment.
The Chat Group invited two psychopaths who were madly in love with someone? I think that this is my own Luck working its magic. Giving me an ally that would fully understand me. No one understood me. Not even Lily. I allowed her to see some of what lay beneath my skin but she has not seen the abyss yet. She had not seen what depths I was willing to go to. I don’t think I would ever be willing to show her exactly how deeply I felt. It was a rather frightening prospect after all.
So to have someone who not only saw me for who I am but understood it would be amazing. A kindred soul that would not reject the twisted me. All praise Fortuna and the bullshit she brings about for just existing. Still, I was getting ahead of myself as I have yet to confirm this.
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: In what way? I know you love your brother very much but how deep does the rabbit hole go?]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: As deep as it can.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: So killing for him?]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Happily! My own answers mirror your own.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Right I should have figured that out with how pointed the questions were.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Alright since I have spilled the beans how about you give it a go?]
I would hate to be the only one to spill their life stories. I would like to know what forged this Bro-con. It would also be nice to finally know who she was.
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Well I guess it’s only fair. Well here is the story of Andy and Leyley!]
I was then introduced to a story that I saw far too much of myself in. I could see all of the insecurities that once dragged me down but were blown out of control. Ashley was me but far less trusting. She loved Andrew so much that she bound him to her through his guilt. She could not trust him to choose her which led to her insecurities being far worse than mine. A dark part of my mind says she took the right path. Lily betrayed me because she was not bound as tightly. On the other hand, when I had her she was so much better for me than Andrew was for Ashley. It was because Lily chose to be there. I chose to trust her and that made all the difference. I wanted to advise her to do so but I knew it was not my place.
She has chosen her path and she has gone too far along it to change now. She deserved her happiness even if I knew her relationship with Andrew was bad for her. I was in the same boat as her so I could not throw stones. Well, not exactly the same. It was just similar enough that I wanted to help her see a happy ending. I was just not sure how to go about it. Her current story was rather bitter after all.
It left me wanting to come to her dimension and kill a fair amount of people. Just like I was planning on dealing with my father when summer started. Still, Ashley was a big girl and she was more than willing to take care of her problems when given power. I was still going to offer my help. If only because I wanted to. The deck was not stacked in either of our favor. Now that I was running the game I’ll make sure everything is going well for us.
I wanted to explain more of my tale. So she could see that there was another path she could take. That she can choose to allow Andrew to love her instead of forcing it. The problem is that at this moment all my tale would do is further her distrust. Lily betrayed me and this would fuel Ashley’s fears that her brother would do the same. It would ultimately destroy her. I can’t allow that so I have to keep my mouth shut.
I was not exactly in the moral high ground here. I was planning on trapping Lily into a happy life with me. So I spin my webs and offer the sweetest of bait to ensure she willing stepped in. Was I really all that different than Ashley? We both trapped what we found dearest. It all comes down to allowing them to make that decision. I know for certain it tastes all the sweeter, especially after seeing the alternative. The relationship between Ashley and her brother is one misstep from shattering. I could only hope that the step did not come any time soon.
I was not sure if this would work but Fortuna could you give her a little Luck? When things are bad a little Luck can change things. I am hoping that it will be the tipping point for her happy ending. Fortuna hummed in my chest as if contemplating if she could. In the end all I got was a maybe. I guess it was a long shot in the end. I could use my own Luck to help her along the way I suppose.
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: You’re right, you are just like me.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Since we are partners in psychopathy I’ll cut you a deal and not charge any points for what you have asked.]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Ha, partners in psychopathy. When are we going to go on our murder spree partner?]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: I suppose when ever you want. :) ]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Gunna have to get that gun before I can murder anyone.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Working on it. You know you could get those guns from Powerup? She could get you guns of a way better caliber.]
I know she does not trust women in general but hopeful we can get her to at least not hate them. I could understand why she did. Her parents were both the worst sort of people but her mother only really bothered being one to Andrew. I wanted to brew some rather potent poisons for that woman.
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: I would rather give you my points than talk to magic tits.]
Right, I figured she would not go for it but I was willing to give it a chance. One day she will open up with women but that day is not today.
“Are you ignoring me?” Narcissa hissed out. That did startle me. I was so engrossed in the common ground I found with Ashley that I forgot about Narcissa. Which is probably the worst choice I could possibly make in regards to Narcissa. When she was in the room she commanded attention to ignore her was an insult like no other. I winched and looked back at her sheepishly.
“Sorry. I got lost in my own head.” The apology was not going to save me from her ire. Still, I had to do it or she might actually kill me. She just narrowed her eyes at me.
“It’s not proper to ignore a lady Severus.” She said with far less bite. So I managed to save my ass that is good to know. She went to something else but she spotted something. She then rolled her eyes.
“For people who are currently fighting the both of you spend far too long looking at each other.” Narcissa’s voice rang out sarcastically. I was briefly confused but she gestured in front of us.
Lily was looking back at me in concern. Her concern was mixed with this nervous energy that warmed my heart. Once she caught me looking over she looked hesitant before looking away. I was going to have to talk to her some time soon. My little outburst was a scene worthy of concern after all. Not to mention I should be able to do what ever I want now. With my capabilities, I can decimate the magical world if I so wished. That was just the start as well I can gain points every day and roll the Gacha. So I can stand by her side once more without worrying about my or her safety.
“I’ll talk to her later.” I said firmly. I was looking forward to basking in her presence once more. It might not be the best idea to drown myself in her but I don’t really want to do anything else. That euphoric high is just not something I was willing to give up. The world felt ever so slow without her.
Narcissa gave me a sour look before rolling her eyes at me.
“Decided to stop being a fool?” Again I winced at that. My grand declaration to stay away from Lily must seem so foolish to her now. A dumb joke that did not even deserve to be listened to.
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: I mean it too! So you better get me that gun mister.]
Ah, shit forgot about her as well. I kind of put my self in a situation where ignoring either of them would be bad. Narcissa since I already did it to her and she hated it. Ashley because she needed validation that we were okay. It’s strange being able to recognize something that I did so often to Lily.
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Will do Ashley. Sorry I took so long to respond I was gathering material for your blood samples.]
I absolutely was not but I was not going to tell her I was ignoring her because another girl was mad at me. Ashley considers me a kindred soul or maybe even a friend. If I ignored her in favor of another girl well it would be bad. It’s exactly the kind of thing she fears. Sure it would not be too bad because we just became friendly. That does not mean I should do it as it would further strain her limited trust.
So I was just going to have to bounce back and forth in conversation until Ashley got bored. Or until the class was finished.
“You were right, my little outburst taught me I’m just not capable of letting her go.” I smiled sadly at Narcissa. It was a truth that I have long since accepted. That did not make it any less pathetic.
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Right did not mean to pressure you. Did you have anything that heals cuts my palm is stinging like a bitch.]
I paused again. Right her and her brother were trapped in an average apartment with no food. There were only a couple of ways she could have got me blood samples. So they probably cut their hands. The blood will likely be dirted with what ever germ was living there. It is a good thing I am not actually inspecting the blood. I was just using it as a catalyst to determine their health.
I had essence of Dittany on me. With how often I am faced with cuts and scraps I learned to carry it with me at all times. I have not had to use it as often as I used to so it should be good to send it to her. I think I can see my future of sending Ashley random shit all the time. I can’t really blame her as she really did need all these things. So pan dimensional mail carrier shall be added to my resume. That should let me apply to the illustrious UPS with how often packages end up in different dimensions.
“You should have done that ages ago Severus.” She just huffed at me. She then looked at me with that same razor like focus.
“Remember Serverus it’s not proper to ignore a Lady.” She said slowly as if talking to a particularly slow child. I had no idea why she was repeating that I was bouncing between the conversations fairly quickly.
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: I do happen to have something that should take care of that. I should have assumed you would have a hard time taking a sample. So this one is on me again. :) ]
I then sent her the Dittany. She was probably going to need more food as well. Sure I sent her a lot of food before but nothing beats freshly cooked meals. So when I take my own meals I will get them something.
“I will remember that Princess.” I just gave her a teasing smile but she just rolled her eyes at me.
“I don’t believe you will but we will cross that bridge when it comes.” She said out blandy. I don’t see why she would think that I only ignored her today. At least I can’t think of any other occasion that I did so.
So the rest of the period passed with me bouncing between trading barbs with Narcissa and reassuring Ashley. Neither of them got bored but I was stressing myself trying to be consistent. I needed to pick up a skill that allowed me to multitask. I wished that the Trap could have been Astolfo so I could roll the gacha in the Fate verse. The things I could get there would be amazing but what I wanted was Memory Partition it would allow me to focus on multiple thoughts perfectly. So I could talk to Ashley with out losing focus on my surroundings. It would be useful for other things as well but I mainly wanted it to not further hurt a broken girl. Something I never expected myself to feel.
I had to stick around for detention so I bid farewell to Narcissa. At least I should be able to pass the time fairly quickly with Ashley. Even if I would have McGonagal’s judgmental stare concentrated on me. She was already doing that throughout the class so it’s not much of a difference.
That was one of the good things about detention with her. She usually had those serving just sit quietly by themselves. The whole punishment was basically treating everyone as naughty toddlers in timeout. It was humiliating and fucking boring. Still, for me it was perfect. I could not give less of a shit about her judgment and I had a way to pass the time. Even before the Chat Group I was in my head enough that this was not a massive punishment.
Although if she tried to pull this on me before I merged. Well, it would be hell. I would be trapped in a room away from LIly and once I was released I would have to deal with her disapproval. So McGonagall was used to me being absolutely miserable in her detentions.
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: So you are a part of the nobility right? Even if your family refuses to acknowledge you.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Yeah as much as the rest of the pricks would deny me my status. I am a part of the Prince family.]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: I got to say having your last name literally be prince got to be an ego boost. I can’t believe the other noble families allowed someone else to claim that name.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: It was likely that no one thought of it till they met my family. Names have a certain amount of power so by the time they found out it was probably too late to change anything.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: As for the ego boost. It would be if I could claim the name. I was not allowed to call myself that. So I had to deal with my shitty father’s last name. Honestly, that was worse than not having the Prince name.]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: That sucks. Well if you kill the rest of them no one could stop you from claiming it.]
I looked at the message blanky for a moment. She was right if I killed the rest of the Prince family then I would be the only heir. It would probably end with me being on trial for line theft but I could do it. I would probably have to overthrow the government after that to get them to leave me alone. Ultimately it would not be worth it. I could just start calling myself Prince and there were exactly zero things they could do to stop me. I mean I could still murder them for spite but Lily would really disapprove of that. So they get to live.
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: She would be rather cross with me if I killed my family.]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Boo, Andy is the same always stern and disapproving of murder. It would be so much easier to kill your problems.]
I stop to think for a moment. I mean I did have a way to kill them with no issues.
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: I do like the idea, so I’ll just have to kill them in a way that would not lead back to me.]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: See murder is always the solution. How are you going to go about it?]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: I could just nuke them but that would destroy all their stuff.
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: You have a nuke!?]
I chuckled at that. Using the Star Burster Star Blaster was never on the table I just said it because I knew she would be interested. McGonagal was giving me a strange look as I laughed for no reason. I just smiled blandly at her. We stared at each other for far too long. I refused to lose this impromptu staring match. She must have thought I was gaining entertainment from our match because she looked away and started grading papers again.
A win is a win even if it is based on false information.
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: A magical nuke. It’s that item I rolled in the Gacha.]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: The shit magic tit’s wants? So it is just a nuke?]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Not exactly it is an artifact that is split in two. One part is a sword that can cut anything and the other is a rifle that can blow up multiple islands.]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: What the fuck, that’s crazy. No wonder magic tit’s wants it. She would probably suck your cock for it.]
Again I looked blankly at the screen. I was going to have to get used to Ashley being Ashley. As much as Rias’s wanted the Longnigus I doubted she would offer to suck my dick. It would be a deal massively in her favor but one that was rather humiliating. It’s also a deal I would not offer. It would lead to her being rather difficult to get along with. I was not really all that excited about the prospect either. Sure she was an attractive red-head but she was not the one I wanted.
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: I think I made it rather clear where my interests lie.]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Duh but don’t you boys have to get your rocks off. Andy seemed like he would stick his dick in anything.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Maybe for normal people but we both know I am not exactly normal. I don’t think I would object to it unless it hurt Lily. In the end, It’s just not worth an artifact that could destroy the planet.]
Pleasure is temporary shiny shit is eternal. Just ask the diamond industry they made a killing off of that slogan.
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: That makes sense. If I had a nuke I would not want to trade it for some head.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: We have gotten off track. Since I know you still want to know the answer. I was going to take their Luck so they would have unfortunate accidents.]
Sure I have been known for inflicting a series of unfortunate events on my enemies but I have literally never met my extended family. No one could prove that I even came in contact with them. So how in the hell did I poison them? I could even under truth potion say I was not the one who killed them. In the end I was not, Fortuna took their luck and the world decided to end them. So it would just end up being chalked off to bad luck.
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: That shit can kill!? Can you call it off of Andy!? He wanted to test your defense please don’t smite him!]
I had to take a moment to take that in. Who the fucks tries to challenge an unknown magical defense? Was he trying to die? He was just a mundane man, right? He should really try not to poke whatever bear he finds.
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Calm down for the most part my defense just messes with my enemies. It would only kill if I asked. If he is still experiencing bad luck tell him to stop considering me an enemy. Also, tell him to not poke random shit, it would lead to a longer lifespan.]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: I swear I am going to give him so much shit for this. Sure I’m the reckless one it’s not like he almost committed suicide by wizard.]
[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Actually I am going to do that right now ttyl.]
[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: See ya.]
It sucks that I would be by myself again with McGonagal but the detention is almost over. I could spend the rest of the time in the regular chat but I would rather not be threatened with my spleen being skewered. Pyrrha is still on a tirade even if she has calmed down somewhat. So instead I decided to stare disapprovingly at McGonagall let’s how she likes it.
Turns out she was completely fine with it as she just ignored me. At least I was able to leave her in a slightly worse mood. You have to take your victories where ever you can find them no matter how small they are.
As I was leaving the classroom I was greeted with a sight that should not have surprised me but it did. Lily was there looking like she was waiting for me the entire time. At least she had a book to pass the time. When I left the room she looked up from her book and flashed me a small hesitant smile.
“Sev.” She looked around to make sure no one else was there. She thought we still had parts to play after all. Her actions brought a small smile to my face. With how she was acting no one really thought she was that angry with me. So it was really not worth the effort but seeing it was amusing.
“Lily.” Being able to say her name again filled me with that same euphoric love. I wonder if she could tell that my mood was a perfect ten out of ten.
“Are you okay?” She asked with the same hesitance I saw earlier. Still, it might have been hesitant but it brought even more joy.
“I’ll good Lily, Even better now.” I gestured so we could walk away from McGonagal’s classroom. She seemed surprised that I was willing to walk with her. Seeing her being twitchy brought a frown to my face.
“I already blew it yesterday Lily. There is no need to worry about anyone seeing us anymore.” I smiled tiredly. Sure I could be by her side now but I did fuck up yesterday.
“You're not going to be in danger right?” Her eyes blazed with the same familiar concern that drove me.
“I have a plan. You don’t have to worry for me Lily.” I smiled softly at her. The world could be invaded by Thanos and I was confident I could still take care of it.
“Good, that's good.” She said hesitantly with a look I was unfamiliar with appearing on her face.
“Sev.” She looked over at me as if deciding if she really wanted to say what she was about to say. That caused me to stop walking as she gathered my full attention.
“Can you stop attacking James and his friends?” She blurted it out as fast as she could. She then looked away from me. I felt my mood drop drastically. The bright cheerful smile on my face replaced with a scowl. Of all the things she could have asked me to do she chose the worst of them. Not because I cared about Potter but because she did.
“I’m not..” I paused my words as I tried to think of what to say to that. I was hoping she was coming from the direction that I should stop trying to kill her dorm mates. Anything else would have me blowing up this castle. Their bad luck would calm down immensely now that Fortuna was in control. The problem is I could not guarantee that they won’t die. If they did something that crossed Fortuna’s line she would take action without my input. Not that I would blame her Potter has almost killed me several times and that was when he just wanted to bully me. So I was not sure how I could placate Lily’s good nature.
I looked over at Lil as she fidgeted. I had something I could say but could I trust her with it? Before I even finished thinking the question I decided that I could. So I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards a classroom. Once we entered I threw up as many privacy spells as I could think of. I was still not confident that what I was about to say would not get out but I thought it was worth it.
“I’m not doing it.” I said as seriously as I could. I could see the confusion appearing on her face. Everyone knew I was doing it to them. So saying I was not was probably baffling. I ran my hand through my hair as I tried to put the words I needed to say together. This was not something I thought I would have to do. I hated that Lily was putting me in this position but she was a morally just person.
“I have been working on a new potion.” Again I was offering nothing that explained the situation. At least she would think so but she was willing to listen.
“At first I was making an improved version of Felic Felix.” I brought out a vial of Fortuna’s birthplace. The potion would not have the same effect as Fortuna as she was truly unique but it would stomp regular Felic Felix. I looked at the vial and considered what it was. For something so powerful it was effectively just Fortuna’s bathwater. Behold world I am the proprietor of Gamer Girl Bath Water Goddess edition. I could feel Fortuna’s embarrassment at my comparison. That small interaction brought my mood up but it was still pretty shitty.
“Then when I was placing the finishing touches I was inspired.” I looked at the radiant potion as I remembered my reflection in it. I looked back at Lily who was looking at the potion in my hand in shock. She knew exactly how hard normal Felic Felix was to brew she had to with me as her best friend. So to have me admit I made a better version must have come as a shock.
“I did something reckless. Something anyone sane would say was suicidal.” I spat out as I thought of the chaotic moments in which I fought the world. Lily was no longer looking shocked but had a look that was furious and concerned all rolled into one.
“In exchange, I made something truly unique.” I looked back at her with a bright smile lighting up on my face. I may have done something insane but it led to equally insane results. I would never even be capable of regretting making Fortuna she was my child. My greatest creation. Something no one would ever be able to recreate. I could feel her wrapping around me in complete and utter devotion.
“A permanent version of the improved Felic Felix.” I announced with all the flair such a statement requires. Once again Lily was in a state of shock. What I just said was something not within imagination. It was the kind of thing that will have my name uttered a millennia from now. I was Merlin but even more amazing.
“So when I tell you I am not doing it. I’m not.” I smugly announced.
“I am just lucky it is the world deciding what happens to Potter and his goons. As long as they are even remotely hostile to me they will be filled with bad luck.” With that, I gave a razor sharp smile. This was all true. I could spew the same story under the truth potion. It was not the whole truth. It took any of my agency out of the equation but that did not matter. The greatest lies are ultimately just the truth making you look elsewhere.
“Sev. That’s amazing.” She looked completely floored but how else was someone supposed to respond to what I had done. There is just not any other rational way.
“It is.” I said that as smugly as I could while puffing out my chest. I then took a step back and stopped smiling as I locked gazes with her.
“So if you want to stop what is happening you are asking the wrong person.” I spat that out as I scowled. I was not happy that she brought this up. If she just kept it in for a little while she would see the damage I was doing would tone down. I wonder if she would have brought it up when it shifted to just school yard bullying. I hope to god not as my black heart was already bleeding enough.
“So If I can get James to stop targeting you it will stop?” She naively asks. At her question I just started laughing. I was laughing so hard that tears were brimming in my eyes.
“Good luck getting them to do that.” I managed to say between bursts of laughter. I could see her biting her lips in indecision. With that I remembered something she would have done in another time and place. That caused my laughter to die completely.
“It does not matter if they stop. It’s all about intent as long as the hostility is there they are trapped.” I spat out as I looked back at her hesitant appearance. That too was the truth I just did not mention that my hostility was just as important. If she did what I thought she was going to do, Potter would die from my rage. Why did I have to love such a girl? Someone willing to do something that would hurt me all over again to save their pathetic lives.
She was concentrating on the wrong thing. I was announcing that it was hopeless and here she stood trying to think of a way out. I admired her ingenuity and integrity but I despised the stance she chose to take. She might as well be spitting on my face with it.
“If I explained what happened they would have to stop.” She mumbled out but I still heard it. Those words felt like ice traveling through my veins. The shaky foundation that was the person I was started to shudder. So I marched towards her with my scowl almost morphing into a snarl.
“Stop.” I said as I just to hold back the anger such a sight was bringing me.
‘You want to tell them what I have done. What I have created?” I hissed out. I know Lily is not used to how things operate in the Magical World but this is just obtuse. She was a smart cookie. If she could not figure out the implications of her ideas it would be insulting. She gave me a slow hesitant nod which intensified my fury ten fold.
“You.” I snarled out completely surprising her. How dare she do this again. She is willing to do this for them. What was I to her if she could do this over and over again to me?
“You fool! This is not something you can talk about freely! You have to know that! I refuse to accept that you would be that delusional!” My fervor grew with every word I shouted. I was lashing out again I knew that rationally. It’s just what she is proposing was a dagger to my heart. It was like the ground beneath my feet was crumbling.
“Sev they might die.” She said back to me firmly. I felt my black little heart start to crack even further.
“What I have done is a miracle. Something that would change the world as we know it. Something so precious that wars would be fought.” I tried to keep my temper down but I still snarled that out. It was only Fortuna’s ever present love that was keeping my top on.
“People will kill and die for the knowledge I hold in my head. Even if I knew no one could ever replicate what I had done they would still try.” I wanted her to understand what she was implying because if she made this decision while understanding I might shatter all over again.
“You would put me through that to save them?” I asked quietly. I was once more in the calm of the storm. Her choice would be the tipping point. As I look at her all I see is a weak hesitant girl. Even that sight was enough to tip the scales. This was the girl who tearly said she would never hurt me again. She was making the choice all over again. This time fully aware of what she is doing. This was something that would ruin others. Something so precious it was quite literally a miracle. I shared that with her I trusted her with that and she spit on that trust.
I would die for this girl. I was willing to fight against the very concept of fate if it meant she lived another second. I would go to the ends of the world if it made her happy. Yet here she stands tearing me apart once more for their disgusting lives. I once said I would have rather dig out my own heart than lose her. I guess I did not have to do so as she was already planning to rip it out.
My little black heart broke apart.
Who was this girl? Was this who she had always been? She must be a good magician she managed to fool me into trusting her.
I turned away from her I did not even want to look at her right now. I stormed away and reached for the door but stopped. I turned around and just looked at her hesitant eyes.
“I should never have trusted you.” I spoke out tiredly. I was once more empty. I opened the door and left.
Would you look at that? Me and Ashley have another thing in common. We can’t even trust the very thing that drove us.
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