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JACG Chapter 33 (Laughing No More)
🕑 Added 2024-03-05 19:18:41 +0000 UTCDealing with the Player Killers is honestly a waste of time. In a regular case the Clearers would have to spend weeks following leads to root out the very lowest groups. Just fools who robbed others in their own greed. Loot and money are important in this world not just for your own protection. If you had enough Cor you upgraded where you lived and all the creature comforts you wanted. One look at the small lake side cabin that Ashley and I shared could tell you that.
So even if this world is very fake for the sake of their own greed Players were willing to murder. I got it as it’s a dog eat dog world especially here but it was annoying. Instead of risking their lives fighting beasts, they would rather murder the powerless. It was something completely expected from human nature.
That was the motive for most of the Player Killers. It meant that fully taking them out was out of the question. It was only a matter of time before more idiots decided to murder for some nonsensical reason. If it was only greed we had to deal with then the killings would be smaller and less annoying. Laughing Coffin did not kill from greed as far as I could recall. They had motives that were built from their mad leader. What those motives were I had no idea, I just knew of their existence.
They existed now but they were so secretive that I was not able to get a read on them. My knowledge of the series was not good enough to really get them either. So I was stuck trying to figure out their motives all on my own. Not, that I particularly cared about what they thought. I just wanted them gone.
I wished I could just kill the Player Killers that we have encountered. Sadly, I could not as the Clearers advocated for arresting the fools. Wasting even more manpower and resources all for being the morally right ones. It was a true waste but one I expected. Killing your fellow man was frowned upon for far longer than this world existed.
Instead of dealing with this for ages, I decided to take a more personal approach. I left with Ashley and went on my own hunt. I had no leads myself but information is not something I ever needed. Just having a goal in mind was good enough to lead me to several hideouts filled with the Orange Players.
The dumb look on their faces every time Ashley and I showed up was amusing. Most of these guys preyed on the weak so they could not handle the sheer difference in levels. Sure I was basically taking a page from Kirito’s play book but he would not mind. In fact he was singing Ashley and I praises for arresting so many plebs.
Still, as we traveled and took bands of Orange Players out it felt never ending. For such a small amount of people trapped here, the amount of violent maniacs is truly ludicrous. Well, most of these Orange Players just robbed but murder was definitely on the table. Truly gamers are a different breed.
Ashley and I were on another journey to take out more fools. For once the idiots seemed to have a cool location. It was not some random cave or just a fucking forest but a fort of all things. I had no idea how they managed to get the thing but it was impressive none the less. I was going to have to loot this place for myself. It would make an interesting place to have as the Clearer's headquarters.
I would keep it for myself but I really did not need that much space. It was just Ashley and I so there really was no need for a fort to be our home. Our cabin probably was more comfortable as well. It better be with the amount of Cor I was funneling in it.
Ashley and I were at a far enough distance that the Players operating in the fort could not see us. We had binoculars so we were able to spot them with no problem. The guards standing watch had bright orange icons above their heads. So this was definitely our target not that I doubted that before.
As I got a better look at the location I paused. There were far more people here than I expected. I was sure Ashley and I could take care of it by ourselves. It just seemed like a rather large amount to deal with.
I looked over at Ashley who had a bored look on her face. Seeing that I was looking her face switched to a bright smile.
“There are more idiots than I expected.” I should catch her up on what was happening. She acknowledged what I said but she seemed disappointed about the topic.
“How many are we talking about?” She asked in a bored tone. When we first started hunting down the Player Killers Ashley was excited and raring to go. After fighting idiots over and over again she was starting to get sick of the violence. It was not like they put up much of a fight most of the time. Like I said they only had the strength to prey on the weak so any encounter with them tended to go the same way.
They would be cocky at seeing just two Players and would spew some sort of typical delinquent dialog. Then they would start attacking us once we appropriately shitted on them. Then they would get their asses beat from the first charge leading to all of them going. They said some dumb shit like there is only two of them or some other line mobs said. It was frankly disturbing how closely they all acted.
After experiencing that over and over again I could not blame Ashley for getting sick of it. Not to mention we did not even get anything good from them just more Cor. That was something that we certainly did not lack.
“Enough that the clean up is going to suck.” I sighed, for once they had good loot but taking care of all of them would be annoying. Not to mention we would have to tie up the losers and teleport all of them. It was frankly a lot to do. Ashley looked over at me and bit her lip.
“Do we have to deal with this by ourselves?” She asked tiredly. I opened my mouth to say something but closed it. Why was I doing this just with Ashley and I? The loot was not worth all the work. I was wasting time when we could be grinding experience. It was not like I particularly wanted to spend my time hunting down these fools. So why was I doing it? Seeing the look on my face Ashley continued.
“Beating up these scrubs has gotten pretty old. Sure spending time with you beating the shit out of people has been nice but we have been doing it non-stop.” Ashley spoke out quickly as if she saw a gap in a wall to get her point across. Not that she needed to have a weak spot to convince me. I was just baffled about my own actions. I too was starting to get sick of arresting them.
It was only when I went over my actions that I realized the problem. I was doing this with just Ashley because I did not trust anyone else. Fortuna was not something I was willing to share with others anymore. My supernatural luck would become apparent as I led people to location after location for seemingly no reason. So I have been leading these charges by myself even if the alternative was something that was better for me.
“I did not trust anyone else.” I mumbled out as I reached that grand revelation. It was something that I knew before but it was something I did not know was affecting my decisions. I looked back at Ashley to continue but I stopped. Ashley was looking at me bright red and that unfamiliar emotion back in her eyes. Seeing me look her way she stopped looking at me.
“Is that so? Let’s go take care of these scrubs then!” She shouted out as she started to walk towards the fort. I spent a solid second looking at her in confusion before catching up to her and stopping her. As I grasped her shoulder and spun her around to face me she seemed to grow even more red and refused to meet my gaze.
“What's up!? We have people to beat up!” She was far more flustered than I was used to dealing with. I was at a loss of words for a moment and seeing her like this was something. I shook off those confusing thoughts and continued with what needed to be said.
“You are right doing this by ourselves was dumb. I’ll call some Clearers over.” I spoke out and for some reason, my words seemed to bring Ashley down. She was still not looking at me but now she seemed dejected instead of embarrassed. What is going on? Ever since the Koblold Lord she was getting harder to read.
Whatever I could deal with this later. I had to call the Clearers here to raid the fort. I did not need to explain how I found the place as the fort was clearly filled with Orange Players. So there was no reason not to call them now. As I called the Clearers over to our location Ashley started to pout and mumble to herself.
“Thanks Ashley.” I spoke out knocking her out of whatever loop she was in. She was still pouting but she was giving me a confused look.
“I was not really thinking things through just acting. Once we found the place there was no need to worry about trust. They would never find out about my luck.” I spoke out with a wry smile on my face. I was really acting foolish but I now knew that my flaws were still affecting me. Oddly enough as I explained my thought process Ashley seemed to brighten up. She then walked towards me and hugged my arm.
“Great since I’m saving us so much time you better make it up to me.” She said as she smiled smugly at me. At least this was something I expected. She had been dragging me off to do things together that were not just grinding or fighting to get ourselves out of here. We would walk around shopping or sight seeing the magical world around us. It was not really killing our progress too much so I was fine with it. It was strange as I expected her to be even more gung ho about progress.
Ashley and I continued to watch the fort making sure no one was leaving. I had no way of knowing if all of the Player Killers were in there but I just trusted that they are. It did not look like anyone was leaving on foot at least. If they did Ashley and I would have ambushed them while waiting for the others.
Time passed quickly and the Clearers started to arrive. Most of them greeted me but kept a fair distance afterward. My prickly personality spoke for itself and Ashley was in a similar boat. The only ones willing to engage in small talk with me were Kirito, Asuna, Klein, and Agil. The rest did not want to accidentally piss me off. You don’t spit on the face of the number one blacksmith after all. I missed making potions but the potion system here is not as easy to exploit.
Diabel showed up which was surprising as I expected him to be locked in yet another conference room. He shot me an awkward but cheerful smile. I may appreciate the guy but he really did some dumb shit sometimes. So we have not reached the small talk stage. Still, he was the man in charge most times so he approached me.
“So what are we dealing with Prince?” I could see his lips twitch at my user but that was something I was used to. Ashley had it worse but no one was willing to piss her off. Some strange rumors have been spreading about her. Something about bro-cons and idiot brothers. The bro-con bit was easy to understand but why were they insulting Andrew like they knew him?
There is no way they got that information out of Ashley. She only talked to me after all. Wait, that’s not fully accurate as she had been buying info from Argo for good hang out spots. For once Ashley seemed to tolerate a woman and Argo would whisper to her about something that always got Ashley flustered. Was she the information leak? It would make sense since she was an information broker.
Whatever it was not that important.
“A fort full of Orange Players. Probably sixty of them. Ashley and I managed to track them down after following a lead.” Might as well give him the information he wanted. That way he could spread it to the rest of the idiots. Diabel frowned at such a high amount of criminals but he accepted it quickly. A strange look did pass on his face as he looked over at us. Ashley was currently on my back after all.
The feeling of her squished against me was driving me crazy but she all but insisted on a piggy back ride. I only stared blankly back at Diabel. Sure we made a weird sight but it did not require this strange look from the guy.
“Well, it’s good to be included for once. I’ll go organize everyone. Hopefully after such a large raid people will give up the idea of becoming Orange Players.” Diabel said tiredly. He was also not a fan of Players doing something so ridiculous. Not that anyone in the Clearers was really a big fan of these twats.
Diabel left to organize the troops and Kirito finally showed up. I expected him to be the first one here but he must have been busy. The sight of Asuna by his side told me that he was probably grinding with her. The relationship between the two of them seemed to be going fairly quickly. It was hard to not have a relationship heat up when you constantly fought together.
Kirito walked towards us with a bright smile seemingly ignoring our current position. Asuna followed but she did not have the same nonchalant attitude. She usually went bright red and stuttered at the sight of the two of us. Even when we were not in such a weird position. Kirito seemed to accept it as just another day. That guy was really unflappable in the strangest ways.
“It’s nice to see you again Prince.” Kirito smiled and I find it odd seeing this boy now. When I got here I expected an edgy loner but that was not a fair assessment.
At the start of all of this, Kirito was a fourteen year old. A middle schooler who was faced with death after living a life of peace. He felt guilty for abandoning others in order to make himself stronger. That is why he was such a mess when Kibaou accused him. Diabel’s death was a tipping point for him and it was what made him a loner. The edgy part only came about when Sachi died on him. So the person I was seeing now was a completely different person.
“Nice to see you to Kirito.” It really was, the kid was a beast in the game and having him actively on the front lines helped massively. It would make leaving this place so much easier.
“Feels great being ignored.” Ashley spoke out sarcastically behind me. I did not need to look to know she was currently making faces at Kirito. She probably did not even care that Kirito was ignoring her she just wanted to throw some barbs.
“Figured you did not want the greeting.” Kirito’s smile just got a little more strained but he rolled with it. Asuna just kind of stood awkwardly there as she looked between Ashley and me.
“So ready to arrest some fools?” I questioned lightly. If there was one person in this whole place who had a justice boner it would be Kirito. The determined look on his face could tell me that.
“You know it.” Kirito spoke out with a bravado I was not used to seeing. Asuna nodded showcasing the same amount of determination.
“We better get to talking to Diabel then.” I said as I started to lead them to the guy. Ashley still refused to hop off my back.
The group gathered together and we had about twenty Clearers here. If you did not count Kirito and his group and me and Ashley. So a fairly sizable force but we were still over runned by the Orange Players. The fact that everyone here was massively over leveled should make that number game useless.
“As you can see the position of the Orange Players is well defended. There is only one way to enter through the gate. The walls are too high to scale and we have no equipment we can use to avoid that.” Diabel spoke out as he scratched his chin. He was right this place would be a nightmare to take if this game had archers but Kayaba was very adamant on melee only, the scrub.
There were throwing daggers and other implements but nothing really that good at range. So it made the fort not impossible to take just really fucking difficult.
“Oh, I know let’s make a human pyramid and have someone hop up and lower the gate,” Ashley announced. Everyone stopped talking and decided to not look at her. Her idea was fucking hilarious and would work but no one here wanted to do it. Or maybe the ridiculousness of it was throwing everyone off.
I really wish I could make a ladder or a grappling hook but it was just not possible. The trees around us were not harvestable as Kayaba did not want to make Minecraft. I figured there was a grappling hook somewhere in this game but I had no access to it.
Why did the Orange Players have to find a fort of all things? Was it too much to ask that they just holed up in a cave, like the rest of the rats?
“So our only option is to break down the gate?” I let out awkwardly as everyone just stayed quiet. It was a stupid plan but no one had anything better. Well, Ashley did but no one wanted to do it.
It took a moment of awkward silence but everyone agreed to just break the gate down. Although Ashley was bitching about everyone being cowards. I was pretty sure Ashley did not really care she just wanted to see everyone in a human pyramid and laugh at them.
So we broke a crystal that would stop teleport crystals used in a certain radius. If we did not then these guys could just teleport away. The anti-teleporting crystals were rare but that never stopped me before.
With that done we started to march our group towards the fort. Once we got close enough to spot the guards started to raise the alarms. We may not be a large group but a lot of us were fairly recognizable. The people needed hope so the Clearer’s exploits were widely circulated.
I am sure they are shitting themselves when they tried to teleport away. Begone plebs I was worse than a pay to win player.
As we got closer the guards started throwing weapons at us. Daggers, Picks, Axes, some of them even threw stones. It was not that effective as we could just block it or tank a single hit.
Then one of our guys went down after getting cut by one of the daggers. A quick look at his health told me he was not dying but he was lying on the ground. Fuck poison was a thing I should have known that as a fucking potions master.
“Some of the weapons are smeared in poison do not get hit!” I shouted out as the Players started to take the weapons more seriously. I took out an antidote and fed the downed guy. Bless rng and all that it brought to me. The guy gave me his thanks and we all started to rush the gate faster.
We were almost close enough to start breaking it down but it suddenly opened. There was a moment were both sides were utterly confused about what was happening.
“What the fuck! Who fucking opened the gate!?” One of the guards shouted out in angry disbelief.
“The chain just fucking snapped!” Another one of the guards shouted in panic.
Well, I should have expected something to help me get in there but that was not something I thought would happen. Our group looked at each other and shrugged. We then all charged into the fort. The courtyard was full of Orange Players but they were not expecting the gate to go down just yet.
So they were unprepared for when we rushed in and started taking them down. Kirito and Asuna rushed up the stairs so the guys on the wall could not escape. I don’t think they would jump from the walls to escape but it was possible.
I usually just beat the shit out of these guys with my hands to deal the least amount of damage but I had an Idea. I approached one of the guys with a dagger and got way too close. He went to stab me but I parried it and wrenched the dagger from him. He looked blankly at me as I then took the dagger and cut him. He then went down.
Of course, the first guy I checked had a poisoned dagger. It only made sense. I started to use that dagger to take out more of them. Ashley would follow and tie them up but not before kicking them while they were down. Petty as always.
It did not take that long for the courtyard to be almost cleared so I motioned to Ashley so we could go deeper. There might be some good loot here and finders keeper. The halls we traveled through were tight and narrow for a long while so it made it difficult to have too many people here. Ashley and I had to disable more than a few Orange Players but no one really put up too much of a fight.
I will give these guys props as none of them tried to use the mob like lines I was used to dealing with. I guess the size of the group made them not quite a mob.
We traveled through the halls and eventually ended up in a room that looked like it was storage. There was a man there. The man was tall and wore a hooded cloak. He was holding a giant butcher knife of all things. When we entered the room he froze as he looked us over.
I could tell he recognized us but again we were pretty public figures by this point. Before he could spew some sort of mob line I started walking towards him. The man looked between us and just charged me.
As I fought with him I was surprised. For a guy who could only fight the weak, he was incredibly skilled. It felt like I was moments away from death constantly. Hell, he almost managed to slice my neck open but he lost his footing from a pebble on the ground. That was all I needed as I sliced him with the dagger.
He went down and I could have sworn that he still had some fight in him as he glared up at me. I just took his dumb kitchen chopper as it looked like shiny loot. Ashley kicked him for petty reasons and tied him up like everyone else.
Now we just had to teleport everyone to prison and hopefully, we would be done with Orange Players for a good long time. Then I just had to deal with Laughing Coffin after that no one should have any dumb ideas.
The storage room did not look like it was going to have too many good things. At least I got this oversized butcher knife. Ashley could use it for cooking I guess.
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From my reading of the only good ending in Coffin. Ashley has no idea what to do when faced with genuine affection. So writing about her innocently fumbling with her own affections is amusing. Snape not realizing it comes from how he sees Ashley and not really knowing what it looks like when someone likes him. All in all, Ashley is going to have to kick up her game.
