David Cooper
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0385 - Raphael.
🕑 Added 2024-11-09 11:54:45 +0000 UTCEMERGENCY BROADCAST.
This is the closest I'll be writing a post to it's actual publication, as this is an important correction to the "Every Simpsons Character Ever" timeline. I'll be posting this IMMEDIATELY after writing it, as opposed to all the other posts, which were written well in advance (some time in the 1970s).
Thank you all for taking this issue very seriously - the results of the poll are in, and they have determined that the limo driver from "The Way We Was" is in fact regular Springfieldian citizen Raphael.
The poll was seemingly decided by a single vote, meaning I did not feel crazy for asking the question in the first place. But now it's time to give Raphael his due, a true post.
Raphael is first introduced as Homer's limo driver:
His Charles Bronson-esque voice and sarcastic tone are established here, and he keeps his job as a driver - of a taxi, not a limo - when we next see him this season in "Old Money":
We next see him in season 3's "Lisa's Pony", where he now works at a pet shop:
And from there it's off to the races - he has over 80 jobs listed on the Simpsons wiki, he's just a busy man about town. This is a good example of accidental world building and continuity that is common in The Simpsons. Raphael wasn't created or designed to be a weird character who could occupy any job position in Springfield, but his fun voice and mannerisms meant he kept being reused, and this in turn accidentally moulded him into a character. They even reference the fact that he has so many jobs occasionally, such as in season 35's "Clan of the Cave Mom":
And even offer a horrifying and definitely non-canon explanation of his ability to appear everywhere in season 34's "Lisa the Boy Scout":
If you're wondering where his name comes from, it is revealed in season 12's "Day of the Jackanapes":
And this may be the only reference to it in the show? Frinkiac offers no other use of Raphael, although it only covers up to season 17. Some merchandise goes out of their way not to use his name:
And Tapped Out calls him "Wiseguy", which appears to be how he is most commonly known:
Despite all this drama about his inclusion in this project, there actually isn't much to old Raph. He's a D-list character that a majority of Simpsons fans would probably recognise but not be able to name. But I'm glad we were able to give him his due properly. Good work, pally.
This post is part of my "Every Simpsons Character Ever" series. For a list of my rules in this project, click here.
Comments
Max Flower
If I had a nickel for every election that didn’t go my way this month I’d have two nickels, which isn’t alot but it’s weird that it happened twice.
el_zilcho
Hank Azaria’s Charles Bronson voice will always be one of my favorite sounds a human being is capable of making regardless of whether it’s Raphael, a child that looks like Bronson, Bronson himself, or a random one-off character working at the currency exchange it’s coming out of
David Cooper
I hope you feel better soon!
16_oz_mouse
Oh my god you're right....I will hang my head in shame and blame being sick for the 7th day in a row
David Cooper
I hate to "um actually" you but Just Stamp The Ticket Guy is a different person! But yes, it's hard to hear Charles Bronson mentioned at all without thinking of Raph.
16_oz_mouse
"Just Take the Ticket Guy" will always be what I call him. Or "Bronson Voiced Guy"
