David Cooper
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0306 - Baseball Player
🕑 Added 2024-02-15 09:00:05 +0000 UTCOh boy! A WEIRD post!
Listen, sometimes you may hear me complain about having to draw seven characters for a single day's worth of post, but let's be clear about this: weird posts like this are great and are my favourite. Let's break this down:
As part of Homer's conversation with the Capital City Goofball before his big debut at the Capital City Game, we have a brief pan across the locker room, in which we see several players.
As the camera settles on Homer and the Goofball at the right of the frame - crucially, once all these players are out of sight - we hear a towel snap, and a man cry out in pain.
The holy rules of this project state that a numbered character needs to appear on screen and have at least one line. I think we can safely assume that one of these seven men made the cry of pain that would qualify him for an entry in the hallowed hall of fame that this project provides, but we cannot say with 100% certainty which of the seven it is, especially as half of them appear to be pranking each other in some way.
Let's take a closer look.
A - This man is separated from the rest of the group, and is therefore least likely to have made the cry, although it is possible that his hat is too tight when he puts it on, causing some discomfort.
B - Also somewhat separated from the group, but technically all of them are within towel-snapping range as it happens off screen, after a pause. He could even be the victim of any other number of pranks, such as a bowling ball falling on his head or a scorpion emerging from a nearby jacker to sting him. Like I say, this heinous act (whatever it is) happens when the camera is not focussed on the victim, so we have to keep our options open.
C - This man is happily playing cards, but his cry could be due to his dissatisfaction to losing a hand. He's down several thousand dollars already!
D - we are getting into players who are actively being pranked now. This man, playing cards while standing, is about to sit on some kind of cake. This would certainly make me make some kind of involuntary vocal noise.
E - This man thinks he has the upper hand here, getting one over on his teammate, but his bum is about to be set on fire. I did some research on this, and being set on fire can cause intense pain, so it is possible he may cry in pain. Also, put some shoes on, ya hippy.
F - Occam's Razor states that this is the most likely candidate, as this pyromaniac is about to be victim of a towel snapping (or so it would appear.)
G - But let's not ignore the possibility of the dreaded "backsnap", a thing I just made up, in which the towel snapper is so sharp that the towel comes back to hit this man in the eye and he goes "Aah! Aah! Aah!" and that old lady told him it would happen.
To keep things simple, I am going to say that 0306-F is the "official" entry for today, he's the one I'll put in the big group shot at the end of the episode, he's the one that will count for the NCHC and such. But if you have an opinion about which character is the one who appears and speaks here, please use the hashtag #whichbaseballplayerisitindancinhomerthepeopleneedtoknow and we'll get a worldwide investigation trending on Friendster.
This post may have been the one to tip me over into insanity.
This post is part of my "Every Simpsons Character Ever" series. For a list of my rules in this project, click here.
