Elle Rose
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I can't do this again! Part two
🕑 Added 2022-12-23 00:01:04 +0000 UTCRead my first post below before you watch this one!
I kind of switch to talking about online dating, which kind of sucks, because my feelings are the same whether I'm dealing with emotional abandonment triggers sourced from a romantic or platonic connection.
I have a lot of feelings. All. The. Time. It's really tough having such a quick turn around and caregivers coming and going because I really connect with each one and start to trust again.
Sure, I talk to people online but the thing is I have this safety in the barrier of space or time between us, whereas an actual physical relationship even though it's platonic between my caregiver and I, it's still a very intimate and up close and personal relationship. Constantly letting others in to interview and often come shadow to help me for a shift is me being extremely vulnerable and unfortunately it's necessary for me to keep doing this even though so many people just end up not showing up. Only after coming and working and doing tasks which are really invasive sometimes. a perfect stranger comes into our homes and get to know me in a pretty intimate way, for like five hours, and then…
It can just be demoralizing.
Funny thing I wanted to share with you all. My dad was helping to cover one of the morning shifts and pretty much the first thing he says to me when I wake up is: I saw somebody comment on one of your YouTube posts.* he proceeds to detail what the comment said* somebody always has it worse off than you!
I was like that's great Dad, yeah we have a pretty good situation when you think about it. Maybe one of these days I will feature on my five dollar Patreon my dad singing the unicorn song, which he proceeded to sing to me after I informed him that the unicorn is like the national animal of Scotland.(Which I learned from a patron who will go here unnamed:) not only did he sing the whole song, he did so while administering medication. Your girl almost choked on evening meds and all to the tune of a song which I'm guessing is from the 60s and sounds like a children's song even though my dad reassures me it was played on radio everywhere at the time of its popularity.
It's good for me to have moments of humor amongst the stress and unpredictability… luckily my dad is basically a mixture of Steve Martin Robin Williams and Sports announcer who has every Beatles song and James Taylor guitar pieces memorized.(Along with unicorn song as I discovered that fateful day& I encourage you all to look it up)
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