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The Fusionist Book 2 -- Chapter 16

🕑 Added 2023-04-24 20:12:20 +0000 UTC

Comments

MagicWafflez

well clearly, anyone that can wear gear like that has Connections capital C.... I just hope they're not rogues that are going to rob them or something...

Jonathan Brooks

Thank you! I believe there should be a comma before boy, as it breaks up the sentence. Otherwise, "Heard what boy?" is read like it is asking if they heard from some random boy. As another example, if you were write something like "What is that, boy?" and removed the comma, "What is that boy?" would be asking what kind of boy that is. Hope that makes sense!

James Boyles

“Heard what, boy?” I don't know if there is supposed to be a pause before boy. If there is, I'd add that for context otherwise I'd remove the comma since I don't get the feel of any dislike to the students. details on exactly howit came about, Correct to: details on exactly how it came about, on the Mages’ staves, Correct to: on the Mage's staves, under the Martials’ clothing, Correct to: under the Martial's clothing, Good read.


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