ShuraZero
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Chapter 121: Paperwork Hell and the Approaching Shadow!
🕑 Added 2025-11-01 20:31:52 +0000 UTCA single vein throbbed rhythmically on Tsunade's forehead.
She was sitting behind the Hokage's desk, or rather, leaning back in the chair with her bare feet propped up on the mountain of reports covering the wooden surface. Her blonde hair, now vibrant and young, was pulled into a messy bun from which stray strands escaped. She had a prominent splotch of dried ink on her left cheek.
She stared intently at an unrolled scroll.
"Emergency request," she muttered to herself, her voice a low, restrained growl. "Replacement of... blue tiles. Blue tiles again?"
She gripped the scroll in her hand.
"Are we rebuilding a ninja village or decorating a brothel in the capital!? This is the fifth request for 'ornamental blue tiles' this week!"
Her eyes scanned the itemized cost.
"And this price! It's robbery! A 'risk payment'! Risk of what? A tile falling on his head? I swear by the First I'll hang the next carpenter who mentions 'invasion risk' to me! The invasion is over!"
She dropped the scroll onto the "PENDING" pile, which now threatened to collapse.
"And here... sewage budget. Why does the south sector need reinforced steel pipes? What are they doing down there?"
She rubbed her eyes, feeling the start of a migraine.
Hiruzen... you old fool. How did you do this for decades? It's hell. A hell of ink, numbers, and complaints about chickens.
The office door burst open, slamming against the wall with a bang that caused a stack of scrolls in the corner to collapse completely, scattering across the floor.
"Good morning, Granny Tsunade! Your Secret Advisor and future Hokage is here for duty!"
Naruto entered with a chaotic energy that clashed violently with the room's library like atmosphere. He was wearing his usual orange jacket, but he seemed strangely awake for so early in the morning.
Behind him came Sakura, carrying a stack of folders so high she could barely see over them, and Karin, who carried a large, rolled up map under her arm.
"You're late, brat," Tsunade said, not bothering to look up from the next report. "Half an hour late."
"I'm right on time! The hero always arrives at just the right moment!"
"You're not the hero, you're my unpaid assistant. And you're late."
"Master," Sakura said, her voice clear and precise, completely ignoring the exchange. She placed her folders on the only clean corner of the desk, which she had probably cleared herself the day before. "I've reorganized the damage reports for the South Sector by infrastructure priority. The previous organization was... chaotic."
Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Chaotic?"
"They were filed by ink color, Master. And then by the foreman's name. It made no sense."
"It made sense to me," Tsunade muttered. "Red is urgent. Black is 'tomorrow.' Blue is 'let it rot'."
"Now they are organized by water, power, and structural support," Sakura continued, unfazed. "It will be much more efficient to approve the repairs."
"And I've checked the chakra perimeters of the gate guards," Karin added. Her voice was nervous, but she tried to sound professional. She unrolled the map on a side table. "Two of them are fluctuating. At the West Gate."
Tsunade finally looked up, her gaze sharpening. "Fluctuating? What does 'fluctuating' mean, Karin? Are they sleeping?"
"No, ma'am. It's more... irregular. Their chakra output drops and spikes. They're probably just tired, exhausted from the double shifts since the invasion. But technically, it's a breach. A good sensor or genjutsu user could exploit it."
Tsunade buried her face in her hands and took a deep breath.
"Great. Just great. My genius apprentice tells me my filing system is a disaster. My sensor apprentice tells me my guards are incompetent and about to fall asleep at their posts." She gestured toward Naruto, who was digging through a desk drawer. "And my 'Secret Advisor' only knows how to yell, eat noodles, and is probably looking for my personal seals."
"Hey! I'm looking for the ramen coupons I took from you yesterday!" Naruto protested, pulling his head out of the drawer. "And I brought stuff too!"
"SHIZUNE!?" Tsunade roared, her voice making the windowpanes rattle.
The office door flew open again, nearly off its hinges, and Shizune ran in, tripping over the fallen blue tile scroll. She was pale and haggard. Tonton, the piglet trotting in behind her, looked equally stressed.
"Yes, Lady Tsunade! I'm here! Right here!" Shizune straightened up, panting. "The council of elders is asking about the plaster budget. They say the current allocation is 'fiscally irresponsible' and that..."
"Let them eat plaster!" Tsunade shouted, slamming her fist on the table. A new stack of papers wobbled. "Tell them I'm busy! Tell them if they want plaster, they can pay for it out of their pensions! I'm trying to keep a village afloat, not rebuild their stupid tea room!"
Shizune seemed to shrink. "But, Lady Tsunade, they..."
"Not now, Shizune!" Tsunade spun toward Naruto. "Naruto! Where are the clones I asked for!? You said they'd take care of this hell! You promised me capable clones!"
Naruto smiled, puffing up with pride and regaining his composure. "Oh, yeah! Right here! And this time I made the upgraded version! They're not the usual dumb clones!"
"Upgraded version?" Sakura looked at him skeptically. "What did you do? Give them more chakra?"
"Better! I gave them brains!"
Naruto made a hand seal.
Poof! Poof! Poof!
Three shadow clones appeared in the office. But there was something strange about them. They didn't shout, they didn't strike poses. They simply adjusted the small, makeshift reading glasses they had clearly stolen from Shizune's desk.
They looked at the chaos. Then they looked at each other.
"Unacceptable," said Clone 1, his voice strangely formal and flat.
"A deplorable lack of logistical efficiency," Clone 2 agreed.
"Let's begin," said Clone 3.
They got to work on the stacks of papers with a terrifying seriousness.
Clone 1 picked up the report from the Builders Guild. "This report from the Builders Guild is trash. 'Invasion risk,' they say. The invasion already happened, old man! Tell him to lower the price of wood or he's gonna talk to my fists!" He pulled out a brush and wrote "REVIEW AND AUDIT" on the cover.
"Complaint from the North Sector farmers about hens not laying eggs," said Clone 2, reading a small scroll. "Hens not laying eggs! Who cares?! Irrelevant complaint! Next! We need tiles, not eggs!" He stamped a "DENIED" seal with unnecessary force. "Next. Noise complaint. Denied."
"Interesting," muttered Clone 3, who had pulled an abacus from somewhere and was comparing two ledgers. "The kunai money doesn't line up with the steel. That's weird. Someone's pocketing the cash! Gotta find the thief."
The original Naruto looked at Tsunade, beaming. "See? They're super smart now! I told them to read all the boring reports first! They learned everything!"
Tsunade looked at the clones. They were sorting, stamping, and filing at superhuman speed.
Then she looked at Sakura, who was already at the wall with Karin, creating a new filing system based on the chakra map and infrastructure priorities.
Then she looked at Shizune, who was staring at the clones with a mixture of horror and... hope?
A cold thought gripped Tsunade.
I've created a monster. No, worse. I've created an efficient bureaucracy. When did my life become this? I miss the days when my only problem was deciding which gambling den to go to or how to avoid Jiraiya.
"Fine," Tsunade finally said, her voice hollow. "Clones. Handle the 'Finance' pile. Sakura, Karin. Take 'Infrastructure.' Shizune... go get me some sake."
"But, Master! It's ten in the morning!" Sakura protested.
"Exactly! I'm behind schedule!"
The office was silent.
The only sound was the soft scratch of a brush on parchment.
It was late. Very late. The moon, almost full, illuminated the office's disarray, casting long shadows from the stacks of paper.
The girls had left hours ago, after organizing their respective sections with terrifying efficiency. The Naruto clones had dispelled at sunset, leaving behind three perfectly ordered stacks, but also three new stacks of "ACTION REQUIRED" that needed the real Hokage's signature.
Shizune had passed out on the corner sofa an hour ago, Tonton curled up on her chest.
Tsunade hadn't moved from the chair in hours.
The "PENDING" pile hadn't shrunk. In fact, it seemed to have multiplied, as if the papers were reproducing in the shadows.
She rubbed the bridge of her nose, her expression one of pure, absolute defeat.
I hate this. I hate this desk. I hate this chair.
She picked up a scroll. "Border patrol assignments." She stared at it for a minute. She didn't understand a single word. She let it fall.
Hiruzen... you old fool. How could you do this? How could you sit here, day after day, for decades, and not go insane? It's hell. A hell of ink and numbers and stupid decisions about blue tiles.
She longed for sake. A drink. Just one. But she couldn't.
If I get drunk... not even all the way, but if I get drunk... the brat will know. He'll find me. And he'll give me another lecture on 'responsibility.' When exactly did he become the adult here? When did I become the brat?
She heard a soft noise. The office door, the one leading to the private hallway, opened with a faint squeak.
She prepared to yell at Shizune to leave her alone, even if she was asleep.
"Hey... Granny."
Naruto's voice was low. Soft. Not his usual shout.
"I told you to leave, brat," she muttered, not looking up from the sewage report she was now pretending to read. "I'm busy. Go save the world or something."
"You're tired. And you haven't eaten anything since breakfast. I heard your stomach from the hallway."
A smell flooded the room. It was simple, salty, and strangely comforting. Noodle broth.
Tsunade lifted her head slowly, as if her neck muscles were rusted.
Naruto was standing there, in the doorway, holding a steaming cup of instant ramen in one hand and a pair of wooden chopsticks in the other. His usual, loud smile was gone, replaced by an expression of genuine concern.
"Is this a joke?" she said, her voice rough. "Instant ramen?"
"Well, I don't know how to make anything else!" He shrugged, walking into the room. "But it's ramen! And it's hot! And it has an extra piece of fish cake I stole from mine! Ramen always helps!"
He approached the desk. With a total lack of respect for bureaucracy, he shoved aside a stack of scrolls on trade agreements to make space.
"Besides," he continued, placing the cup in front of her. "The Hokage can't let a bunch of papers beat her! You need fuel!"
Tsunade stared at him. She looked at the steaming cup. She looked at the boy.
"You're going to stain the Suna treaty, idiot."
But she picked up the cup. The warmth seeped into her cold hands. She blew on the steam.
Naruto smiled, a small, real smile. He sat on the floor, right in front of the desk, and pulled his own cup of ramen from a paper bag.
They ate in silence.
It was the first real moment of peace all day. The only sound in the huge office was the slurping of noodles. Naruto slurped loudly, without shame. Tsunade ate slowly, methodically.
"It's good, right?" Naruto asked, his mouth full.
"It tastes like salt and cardboard," she replied.
"The best cardboard in the village! Ichiraku ran out of broth!"
Tsunade almost smiled. "I guess it'll do."
They kept eating.
"Thanks."
Naruto's voice, more serious now, startled her.
"For what?" Tsunade asked, raising an eyebrow. "For letting you bring me this garbage?"
Naruto swallowed the bite he was chewing. "No! For everything! For saving Bushy Brows Lee! And for helping everyone in the village! And for the thing with Gaara!"
"I'll be billing them," Tsunade said, taking a sip of the broth.
"And the people in the street..." Naruto continued, "they're scared. They still are. But they also have... I dunno. They have hope. Because you're here. Because they know the Hokage is here."
He lowered his voice a little. "And for... well. For coming back. That."
Tsunade stopped eating. The brat was too perceptive. She hated when he got serious like this.
"Don't get sentimental, brat. I made a deal. You won a stupid bet. And now I'm paying the price." She pointed at the pile of papers with her chopsticks. "This is the price."
"Still! I know you hate this. It's written all over your face! It's the same face you make when you lose all your money!"
"I don't lose my money. I invest it in local entertainment," she corrected.
"You'd definitely rather be out gambling or drinking!"
"You're not wrong at all. I'd rather be doing almost anything else."
"But you stayed! And that's what matters! You stayed and you're cleaning up the mess!"
Tsunade looked away, toward the window. The moon made her look pale. She muttered. "...Shut up and eat. The broth is getting cold."
Naruto smiled and finished his bowl with a final, loud, noisy slurp. He set it down on the carpet.
The sound seemed to break the calm spell. The seriousness returned to his face, but this time it was darker.
"Granny... about that. About the mess."
Tsunade felt the change in the air immediately. She put down her chopsticks. Her face, weary from paperwork, transformed into that of the Sannin. "What?"
"There's something else. Something bad. Something that... we forgot about because of Orochimaru and the invasion."
"What are you talking about?" Her voice was low, alert.
"Orochimaru's thing... that wasn't the end. He just took advantage of the disaster. He wasn't the real plan. But there are other guys! Much worse guys!"
Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Others?"
"An organization. They call themselves Akatsuki."
The name fell into the silent room.
Tsunade didn't react visibly, but Naruto saw her knuckles turn white where she gripped her empty cup. Her shoulders tensed.
"Jiraiya has mentioned that name to me," she said, her voice now low and dangerous. "A group of S rank criminals. A club for renegades. What do they have to do with Konoha? And what do they have to do with you? You've mentioned them several times, but you've never given me details."
Naruto instinctively touched his abdomen, where the Kyuubi's seal was.
"They're coming for me, Granny. And for Gaara."
Tsunade went still.
"They're coming for the Jinchuriki."
Tsunade shot to her feet. The Hokage's chair slammed against the wall. The ramen cup fell to the floor, but she didn't care.
"What!?" Her voice wasn't a shout, it was a contained roar. "But it's still too early, isn't it!?"
"That's what I thought! That's what was supposed to happen!"
"The village is strong! Orochimaru's plan failed! It failed because we stopped him! They'd still go ahead with their stupid plan to infiltrate the village?"
"I don't know if their plan changed or what!" Naruto said, getting to his feet too, his own calm broken. "But I know two of them are heading here! Right now! They're probably already in the Land of Fire!"
"Now?" The word came out choked.
"They think we're weak from the invasion! They think they can just walk in while everyone is busy!"
Protective rage, a volcanic fury Naruto rarely saw, replaced the shock on Tsunade's face.
"Two of them!? Who!? Tell me their names, Naruto!"
"Kisame Hoshigaki. The shark guy from the Mist."
Tsunade nodded sharply, processing. "The Monster of the Hidden Mist. I know him by name. A formidable opponent. A Kage level problem. And the other one?"
Naruto stared at her, his face pale in the moonlight.
"Itachi Uchiha. Sasuke's brother."
The silence that followed was absolute. Even Shizune seemed to stir in her sleep.
Tsunade froze. "Itachi? The... that Itachi? Here? Back in Konoha? After what he did?"
"AND HE'S COMING FOR ME!"
Tsunade slammed her fist on the desk. What was left of it.
The wood, already damaged from her earlier outbursts, split cleanly in half. Scrolls, ink, seals, and empty ramen cups went flying across the room.
"NO!" she yelled, her voice booming through the tower. "NOT ON MY WATCH! NOT WHILE I'M HOKAGE! THAT DAMNED MURDERER WILL NOT TAKE ONE MORE STEP IN THIS VILLAGE!"
"I didn't want to spring this on you until we were done with Orochimaru! But this is super urgent! More than everything else!"
"I'm assembling the ANBU! I'm putting the entire village on high alert! I'm posting a guard at your door! I'm going to..."
"You can't!" Naruto yelled, grabbing her arm.
Tsunade spun on him, furious, her eyes flashing. "Don't tell me what I can't do, brat! I will protect this village!"
"If you put the village on alert, they'll know we're expecting them! They'll hide, they'll change their plan! And if Itachi finds out we know, it'll be worse! Much worse!"
"Worse than what? Worse than letting the Uchiha Clan murderer walk in the front gate!"
"We can't fight him openly! You can't! You can't look him in the eyes, Granny!"
Tsunade's anger cooled. She stopped.
"...What did you say?"
"His Mangekyo Sharingan," Naruto said, his voice dropping, becoming urgent and desperate. "His... Tsukuyomi. I saw it. It's not a normal genjutsu. It's not something you can just 'break out' of."
He looked at her, his blue eyes begging her to understand.
"He... he used it on Kakashi sensei in my vision. The first time they met. Kakashi sensei has a Sharingan, and it didn't matter. Itachi tortured him. He stabbed him a thousand times. For what felt like days and days. But out here... it was only a second."
Tsunade put a hand to her chin. As the world's greatest medical ninja, she understood trauma. "Days... in a second?"
"He left him in a coma. We can't fight him like that, Granny. If you look him in the eyes, it's over."
Tsunade looked at him. Naruto's knowledge was too specific. Too terrifying. She understood he wasn't speculating. He knew.
She took a deep breath, once, twice, forcing calm. Her Kage mind, the mind that had been buried under paperwork, now worked at full speed.
"Alright. Alright, you're right." Her voice was tense, but firm. "A weapon of that level. He's not a ninja, he's a walking disaster. A high alert will just tell him we're waiting. And he'll pick us off one by one from the shadows or change his plan."
She turned away from Naruto and walked to the window.
"But we can't just let them walk in here either. Kakashi... where's Kakashi?"
"He's probably glued to Sasuke. He's always after him, training. He hasn't left him alone since the invasion ended."
"Good." Tsunade nodded. "Itachi will be too. That's his secondary objective. Or maybe his primary one. The Uchiha brat. And you're the mission objective. Crap. They have two priority targets in the same village."
"What do we do, Granny? What do we do?"
"Naruto. When will they arrive?"
"Soon. Maybe tomorrow. Or the day after. Honestly, I don't know. I just know they're on their way."
"Not good enough," Tsunade said, slamming her fist on the windowsill. "We can't just sit here waiting for them to knock. We need someone who can track them before they reach the gates. Someone who can face them on their own turf. Someone Itachi... someone Itachi won't expect."
A horrible and perfect idea formed in her mind.
"Damn it. Of all the idiots... I'm going to have to call him."
"Call who?" Naruto asked. "Kakashi sensei?"
"No. Kakashi's in the line of fire. We need someone who knows Akatsuki."
Tsunade walked toward the broken desk.
"I'm going to summon the only other idiot in this world who might have a chance against them."
She turned to Naruto, her expression a mix of fury, resignation, and steel like determination.
"I'm summoning Jiraiya. Besides... it's time you met him. For real."
Comments
travis btmb
Tftc
Aaron Schwartz
Oh good. I had almost forgotten this version of Naruto had foreknowledge. If he knows the entire plot, that means he knows the truth about Itachi. I get not carelessly spreading that around, and he definitely canβt tell Sasuke because he wonβt believe it. But Id probably tell Tsunade. Even if itβs not useful at this point, she should still know. If only to understand exactly how large of a problem Danzo is and will be.
