ShuraZero
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Chapter 118: Interrogation Mission! Feed the Grumpy Princess!
🕑 Added 2025-10-30 23:45:26 +0000 UTCThe hospital room was silent, except for the distant sound of hammers and the whisper of the breeze in the trees. Temari was sitting on the bed, her left arm in a sling. Her giant fan was leaning in the corner, a useless reminder of her power.
She looked out the window at the village she had tried to destroy.
She was bored. Furious. And, although she would never admit it, she was scared.
"Halt."
The muffled voice of a guard sounded from the hallway.
"Hokage's orders. No one can..."
"But the Hokage sent me!" Naruto Uzumaki's voice was unmistakable, too loud and full of energy. "I have the scroll right here! Make way, or I'll tell Granny Tsunade you're interrupting the village's internal security!"
"He... he's right," said a second, nervous voice. "It's the Hokage's seal. Let him pass."
The room door burst open.
Naruto entered with a dramatic kick that made the door hit the wall. He held two instant ramen bowls in one hand and a steaming kettle in the other.
Temari startled, her right hand instinctively going to where her fan should be. Seeing who it was, she relaxed, but her expression soured instantly.
"You."
"Hey, so grumpy!" Naruto said, completely ignoring her hostility. "And here I was bringing you a feast fit for the gods!"
He kicked the door shut.
"What the hell are you doing here, Konoha idiot? Did you come to mock the prisoner?"
"Nah, Granny Tsunade sent me." He placed a bowl on Temari's bedside table, next to an empty glass of water. She eyed it with pure suspicion.
"Come on, eat," he said. "The food here stinks. I brought you something better."
Temari stared at the bowl. Her stomach, which had only received bland vegetable broth for three days, betrayed her with an audible, embarrassing growl.
She blushed.
"Instant ramen?" she said, her voice dripping with disdain to cover her hunger. "That's your great 'feast'? Are you trying to poison me?"
Naruto, who was about to open his own, stopped. He looked at her, genuinely offended.
"Hey! So rude! I just saved your life! And I saved your crazy brother too! You could at least say 'thank you'!"
The mention of Gaara made Temari stiffen. She got up from the bed, the pain from her broken arm making her wince.
"You saved Gaara?! You're the one who beat him half to death! If it weren't for you...!"
"If it weren't for me," Naruto interrupted, his smile vanishing completely, "he'd be really dead."
His voice turned serious. The idiot kid disappeared, replaced by the one who had saved her.
"Or worse, he would have turned into that giant monster, killed hundreds of people here, and Granny Tsunade would have wiped him off the map. I beat some sense into him. And keep this in mind: Granny Tsunade isn't merciful. I was."
Temari froze. The words hit her. She stared at him, surprised by the raw seriousness.
"You don't know anything about him," she said, her voice lower. "You don't know what he's been through."
Naruto stared at her. "I know exactly what he's been through."
He opened the lid of his own bowl. He poured the hot water from the kettle into her bowl, and then into his. The instant aroma of pork broth and noodles filled the room.
"I know what it's like to be a Jinchuriki," he said, not looking at her. "I know what it's like to be alone and have everyone in the village look at you like you're a monster. I know what it's like to be hated for something you didn't even ask for. And I know what it's like to want to kill everyone just to prove you exist."
The silence in the room was absolute. Temari watched him, processing his words.
Naruto passed her a pair of disposable wooden chopsticks.
"Eat. Hot food helps you think."
He sat in the guest chair by the window, split his own chopsticks, and started slurping his ramen. Loudly.
The sound was obscene in the hospital silence. Slurrrp!
Temari grimaced in disgust. "You're a barbarian."
Naruto looked at her with his mouth full. "Mph?! Wha?!"
"Did no one teach you manners? You eat like a pig. It's disgusting."
Naruto swallowed. "And you're a grump! I bring you delicious food and you just complain! You should be grateful! I'm a very busy secret advisor!"
"A what?"
"It doesn't matter! It's secret!"
Temari looked at the steaming bowl. Her pride fought her hunger. Hunger won.
She sat back on the bed, took the chopsticks with her good hand, and took a bite. It was salty, artificial, and the most delicious thing she had tasted in days.
"You are... incredibly annoying," she said, slurping her own noodles, though much more quietly.
"And you're incredibly bossy!"
They ate in silence for almost a minute. Temari realized she felt... normal. For the first time since she had arrived in Konoha.
"So..." she said, calmer. "'Secret Advisor'. You? To the new Hokage?"
"Yup!" Naruto said, proud.
"Konoha has gotten weirder than I thought."
"Hey, I'm perfect for the job! I have great tactical ideas!"
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
"Like, changing all the ANBU uniforms to bright orange! That way they'd be way scarier!"
Temari paused, noodles halfway to her mouth. She stared at him.
"That," she said slowly, "is the stupidest idea I have ever heard in my entire life."
Naruto nearly choked. "What? Why?"
"Because they're ANBU, you idiot! They're supposed to be stealthy! Assassins in the shadows! How are you going to be stealthy if you glow like a flaming pumpkin?"
"But orange is intimidating! It's the color of courage! And ramen!"
Temari sighed. A long, tired sigh. She rubbed the bridge of her nose with her good hand.
"You're a lost cause. A complete idiot. How the hell did you beat my brother?"
Naruto grinned, finishing his broth in one gulp. "Because I'm more stubborn."
He stood up and collected the two empty bowls.
"Alright. Interrogation mission complete."
Temari looked at him, confused. "Wait. That's it?"
"What else?"
"You're not going to ask me about Suna's plans? About our defenses? About... Gaara?"
Naruto stopped at the door. "Nah. That takes too much thinking. Granny Tsunade asks the boring questions. My job was to make sure you didn't die of boredom and that you didn't try to escape."
"Escape?" she said, holding up her slung arm. "With a broken arm and two Chunin at the door?"
"Hey, you're the fan girl! You're strong!" he said, grinning. "You could have knocked them out with a sneeze! I had to be on alert!"
Temari found herself, to her own absolute surprise, smiling. It was a small, almost invisible smile, but it was real.
"You're weird, Naruto Uzumaki."
"And you're scary, Temari of the Sand! See you tomorrow!"
"Tomorrow?" Her smile vanished. "For what?"
"To bring you more ramen, duh!" he said, as if it were the most logical thing in the world. "A well fed prisoner is a happy prisoner! Hokage's orders! Bye!"
He disappeared through the door, slamming it shut.
Temari stared at the closed door, completely bewildered.
"Idiot..."
The next day, at 12:00 sharp, Temari was watching the door.
She had woken up, been checked by a doctor, and had pushed away the gelatin breakfast they had brought her.
She had been staring at the door for an hour.
It's already noon. Where is that idiot? Not that I care, of course. Not at all.
She looked at the untouched lunch tray a nurse had left. More gelatin and a piece of boiled fish.
He probably forgot. Typical of an irresponsible Konoha ninja, leaving me here with this... this... thing! Is this supposed to be food?
She poked the gelatin with her chopsticks.
It's 12:15. How 'busy' can a 'secret advisor' be? He's probably in that office eating ramen by himself. Jerk! He promised me... well, he didn't promise anything, but he implied he'd be back! If he thinks he can just stand me up...
The door burst open, hitting the wall.
"I'm here!"
Naruto entered, this time with two large, steaming bowls from Ichiraku Ramen, covered with wooden lids. The smell was a thousand times better than the day before.
"Sorry, sorry, I'm late! But it was worth it! I brought you the good stuff! Instant ramen is for emergencies, this is Ichiraku! Teuchi-san says hi!"
The smell of real pork broth flooded the room. Temari's stomach roared. Loudly, shamefully.
Naruto pretended not to hear.
Temari felt her face burn. Desperately trying to look angry to cover her relief, she crossed her arms.
"You're late! I've been...!" She stopped. She didn't want it to sound like she'd been waiting. "I mean, did you forget you have a prisoner of war to watch?! I could have escaped!"
"Nah!" he said, passing her the bowl. His smile was genuine. "I would've found you! My nose is almost as good as Kiba's!"
Temari took the bowl. The warmth was comforting. She took a sip of the broth.
Her eyes closed in pure bliss.
"Oh..." she whispered. "This... this is..."
"I know!" he yelled, sitting in the chair and starting to devour his. "The best in the world! Right?"
She quickly regained her composure. "It's not bad. For Konoha food."
"So!" Naruto said, his mouth full. "Being an advisor is hard work! I'm telling you! Granny Tsunade made me read reports! Read, Temari! It was torture! The letters started dancing!"
Temari ate, listening to him. It felt... nice.
"And what were the reports about?" she asked, genuinely curious. "War plans against Suna?"
"Worse!" he said, swallowing. "Kunai inventory reports! Hundreds of pages! And then a complaint from a farmer about his chickens! His chickens aren't laying eggs! Boring!"
Temari laughed. A real, short, sharp laugh.
"I can imagine. And what did you do?"
"I advised him to use shadow clones to count the kunai faster and to send Kiba to talk to the chickens! Granny almost threw me out the window again!"
They finished eating. The atmosphere was relaxed, too comfortable to be true.
"And... how is... everything in the village?" she asked, her voice more serious.
Naruto's smile faded a bit. "There are injured people. A lot. But thanks to Granny, most are recovering well. She's... really amazing."
"That's... good." She looked out the window. "Naruto."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For not... for not killing Gaara. He... wasn't always like that."
"I know," he said. "I already told you. I get it. That's why I couldn't lose to him."
A comfortable silence settled in.
Naruto stood up, collecting the empty bowls. "Well, prisoner feeding mission complete! I have to get back to work! Granny wants me to help her design a new explosive tag!"
Temari raised an eyebrow. "What? You? Designing tags?"
"Sure! I'm an Uzumaki! I've got sealing jutsu in my blood! Or so I think! I'm gonna make one that explodes in orange!"
He headed for the door. He stopped with his hand on the knob.
"Hey, Temari."
"What?"
He turned and looked at her, smiling. "Did you miss me?"
Temari felt all the blood rush to her face.
She grabbed the pillow from the bed with her good arm and threw it at him with all her strength.
"Of course not, you moron! Get out of here!"
She missed completely. The pillow hit the door next to his head.
Naruto laughed, dodging it easily. "Got it, Grumpy Princess! I'll bring Miso tomorrow!"
He closed the door.
Temari was left alone, blushing and furious. But for the first time in a long time, she didn't feel like a prisoner.
The next day, at 12:30, Temari had stopped watching the door.
She was pacing the small room, her good arm crossed over her chest.
Fine. Yesterday was a fluke. He's busy today. Good. Better. I don't need that idiot bringing me food. The hospital food is... fine.
She glanced at the tray of gray porridge on her table.
I'm not hungry anyway.
Her stomach rumbled, in total disagreement.
Shut up. This is pathetic. Waiting for the enemy to bring you lunch.
The door opened gently.
Temari spun around, ready with an insult.
It wasn't Naruto.
It was the lazy kid she'd seen at the exams. The one who forfeited against her. Shikamaru Nara.
He looked at her with an expression of absolute boredom.
"What a drag."
Temari narrowed her eyes. "You? What do you want?"
"The Hokage sent me. She said Naruto was probably slacking off here." Shikamaru yawned. "And to do the job he was supposed to do."
Just then, there was a crash in the hallway.
"Move it, Shikamaru! I almost dropped the Miso!"
Naruto shoved the other boy aside to get in, holding two steaming bowls. "Hi, Temari! I'm late again! Shikamaru intercepted me at the door! He tried to confiscate your ramen!"
"I didn't try to confiscate it," Shikamaru said, walking in behind him and closing the door. "I said it was a waste of time. And that hospital food is healthier."
"Hospital food is for sad people!" Naruto snapped. He passed a bowl to Temari. She accepted it, feeling strangely trapped.
"Thanks," she muttered.
"See? She's grateful!" Naruto said. He sat in his usual chair.
Shikamaru remained standing, leaning against the wall. He watched them eat.
"So," Shikamaru said, breaking the silence. "The 'Feeding Mission'. Is it working?"
Naruto swallowed. "Of course it is! Temari and I are best friends now! Right, Grumpy Princess?"
"Don't call me that," she said automatically.
"See? She's opening up!"
Shikamaru sighed. "Naruto, you're an idiot. This isn't a game. She's a prisoner of war from a nation that attacked us."
The word "prisoner" hit Temari again. The comfortable atmosphere of the last two days evaporated.
"I know," Naruto said, his tone turning serious. "But she's not the problem."
"Exactly," Shikamaru said. He looked directly at Temari. His lazy eyes were sharp. "And we need to know what Suna is planning next. Orochimaru betrayed them. Your Kazekage is dead. What are they going to do? Surrender? Ask for help? Or are they stupid enough to try and attack us again?"
Temari gripped her chopsticks. "I don't know anything about the council's plans."
"But you know about Gaara," Shikamaru said. "You know what Orochimaru did. You know how unstable he is. Do you think the Suna council can control him? Or will they just unleash him on us again?"
"Gaara is my brother," she said coldly.
"Gaara is a weapon," Shikamaru retorted. "Just like him." He jutted his chin at Naruto.
Naruto jumped to his feet. "Hey! Don't pressure her like that! I told you I'd handle it!"
"And you took three days to bring her noodles. Some interrogation, Naruto." Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, woman. This is a drag. My father and the council are furious. They want reparations. They want heads. Tsunade-sama is holding them back, but if Suna doesn't offer something good, Konoha is going to take it. And that means war. A real war this time."
Temari looked at her ramen, her appetite gone.
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want to know if there's anyone in Suna with a brain," Shikamaru said. "Someone who sees that Orochimaru is the real enemy. Someone who's willing to make an alliance."
"An alliance?" Temari looked at him in disbelief. "After we invaded?"
"You invaded," he corrected. "And you lost. Badly. That gives you two options: be our enemies and get crushed, or be our allies and help us crush Orochimaru. It's simple."
"Shikamaru!" Naruto yelled. "You can't just...!"
"Shut up, Naruto. This is politics. You don't understand this."
"Of course I understand!" Naruto said. "I understand that she's hurt! And I understand that Gaara is alone! And I understand that you can't force people to be your friends by threatening them!"
Shikamaru stared at him. "Sometimes, it's the only way to make them listen. Are you going to say anything useful, sand woman? Or are you just going to eat his ramen?"
Temari stood up. The pain in her arm was sharp, but her anger was stronger.
"Tell your Hokage," she said, her voice shaking, "that Suna doesn't respond to threats. And tell her that if they want to know something, they should ask me themselves. Not send their lazy thugs."
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. You've got guts."
"Yeah, she does!" Naruto said, smiling proudly. "That's why she's scary!"
Shikamaru sighed. "Fine. I've wasted my time. Naruto, the Hokage wants your report on the kunai inventory. And she said if you mention the color orange one more time, she'll assign you to clean the Inuzuka dogs' cages for a month."
The color drained from Naruto's face. "What?! But... but orange is...!"
"Let's go." Shikamaru headed for the door. "Finish your food, prisoner. The real world is more complicated than ramen."
He left.
Naruto stood there, looking defeated. "That guy... he really knows how to ruin a lunch."
He looked at Temari. "Hey... don't let him bother you. He's... well, he's a drag. But he's scared. We all are."
Temari sat back down. "Konoha idiots."
"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "We're the best." He picked up the bowls. "I gotta go before Granny really does send me to Kiba. Those dogs stink."
He stopped at the door. "Hey. What he said... about an alliance. Think about it. It'd be better than being enemies. Right?"
He didn't wait for an answer. He left.
Temari was left alone with the smell of Miso and Shikamaru's harsh words.
The next day, she wasn't expecting anyone.
She was sure that after the confrontation with Shikamaru, his food visits were over. The real interrogation had begun, and she had failed it.
She was staring at the hospital food tray (pale fish, sticky rice) when the door burst open.
"You won't believe the paperwork Granny made me do!"
Naruto burst in, but this time he wasn't carrying ramen. He was carrying two bento boxes.
Temari stared, stunned. "...You came back?"
"Of course I came back! You think I'd let that lazy bum Shikamaru scare me off? Besides, I promised to feed you! A ninja never breaks his promise!"
He placed a bento box in front of her.
"What is this?" she asked, suspicious. "Where's the ramen?"
"Granny forbade me from bringing you more ramen! She said you needed 'nutrients' and 'balance'. Boring! So I asked Ayame-chan to make us some bentos. She said she put extra meat in for you!"
Temari opened the box. It was perfectly arranged. Rice, grilled fish, cooked vegetables, and small tamagoyaki rolls. It smelled... delicious.
"It looks... good," she admitted.
"Of course it does!" Naruto opened his and started devouring it. "So! I was thinking about what Shikamaru said!"
Temari tensed. "Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah! And he's an idiot!"
She relaxed a little. "I agree."
"But!" he continued, "He was right about one thing. Orochimaru is the real problem. We can't let him win."
Naruto stopped eating. His gaze became distant. "And... he was right about Gaara."
Temari put down her chopsticks. "Naruto..."
"Not like that," he said, shaking his head. "Not about him being a 'weapon'. But about him being... broken. Like I was."
He looked at her, his blue eyes serious. "I already told you I'm a Jinchuriki. But I didn't tell you what that meant. It meant everyone hated me. Everyone was afraid of me. Every time I did something wrong, they'd whisper that I was the demon. I wanted everyone to disappear. I wanted to burn the village... just like Gaara."
Temari listened, motionless.
"But then... I found people," Naruto said, his voice softer. "Iruka-sensei, who took me out for ramen. Kakashi-sensei, who taught me how to fight. Sakura-chan, who... well, she suddenly got nice to me but she's always been my friend, and Hinata-chan, who was the first person to trust me. They... they saved me from myself."
He paused. "Gaara doesn't have anyone like that, does he?"
Temari looked down. She thought of Baki, a stern teacher. Of Kankuro, who was always ready for a fight but trembled at Gaara's bloodlust.
"He has us," she whispered. "Kankuro and me."
"But you're afraid of him, right?" Naruto asked.
Temari didn't answer. It was the truth.
"That doesn't work," Naruto said. "You can't save someone if you're afraid of them. You have to... you have to be more stubborn than their hate. You have to get in the way and take the hit if you have to. You have to yell at them until they listen."
"Like you did?" she asked.
"Exactly! I headbutted him! And it worked!"
Temari looked at him. At this loud, orange clad idiot, who had defeated Suna's ultimate weapon not with power, but with stubbornness.
"You... you're not an idiot," she said quietly. "Not completely."
Naruto grinned, a huge, bright smile. "Of course not! I'm the future Hokage! And as the future Hokage, I'm giving you some free advice!"
"Oh, you ruined the moment."
"Stop being afraid of your little brother! Give him a good punch and tell him to stop being a jerk! Tell him you're there! It works! I guarantee it!"
Temari found herself smiling. A real smile. "That's the worst strategy I've ever heard."
"But it'll work!"
They finished their bentos in a comfortable silence.
"Naruto," she said.
"Yeah?"
"Suna doesn't have anyone with a brain. Not right now. They're scared. And Baki... he's loyal to Suna, but he was following the Kazekage's orders. Now that the Kazekage... now that Orochimaru killed him... they don't know what to do."
Naruto nodded. "So they need a leader."
"I guess."
"It should be you," he said.
Temari almost choked. "What? I'm a sixteen year old girl!"
"And I'm a thirteen year old kid bringing ramen to a prisoner of war! Age doesn't matter! You're strong! And you're smart! Way smarter than Shikamaru!"
"That's not hard."
"And you care about your brothers! Even the crazy one! Suna needs you. And Gaara needs you."
Temari stared at him, overwhelmed. "You... you really believe that. You think I could be a good leader?"
"Of course!" He stood up, collecting the bento boxes. "Well! Interrogation and Tactical Advice Mission complete! Now I have to go... well, probably clean dog cages!"
He ran out the door. "See you tomorrow! I'll bring dango!"
Temari was left alone. But for the first time, she didn't feel bored, or furious, or scared.
She felt... like she had a plan.
Two more days passed. Naruto kept his word. He brought dango (which were too sweet) and then onigiri (which were surprisingly good). They talked about everything. Wind techniques, how annoying Sakura was, how amazing Tsunade was, and how stupid Naruto's plan to paint the Hokage faces was.
On the morning of the sixth day, a nurse brought Temari her Suna clothes. They were clean and mended.
"Tsunade-sama will see you in an hour," the nurse said. "Your wounds are stable enough for travel. An agreement has been reached."
Temari nodded. She got dressed, the movement in her left arm still limited. She picked up her fan.
She was waiting.
The door opened, but it wasn't Naruto. It was two Chunin guards.
"Temari-sama. This way, please."
She felt a strange pang of... disappointment.
They escorted her through the hospital corridors, toward the Hokage's office.
As they rounded a corner, they almost ran into someone.
"Hey, watch it! Oh, Temari! I was looking for you!"
Naruto was standing there, with no food, just scratching the back of his neck.
"They told me you were leaving," he said.
"Yeah. I'm going to see the Hokage."
"Oh. Right. Good." An awkward silence fell. The guards waited, impatient.
"Well," Naruto said. "I guess... you won't need me to bring you lunch anymore?"
"I guess not. Thanks... for the food."
"No problem! It was a fun mission! Except for the Shikamaru part!"
"Temari-sama," one of the guards said.
"One minute," she snapped. She turned back to Naruto. "What you said. About Gaara and leading Suna... I'm going to try."
Naruto's smile was instant. "Good. Don't give up on him. Okay?"
"I won't."
"Great! Because if he goes crazy again, I'll have to go to Suna and kick his ass again, and that's a really long trip!"
Temari rolled her eyes. "Idiot."
"Grumpy Princess!"
"Stop calling me that!"
"Only if you come visit for some real ramen!"
"Maybe... I'll come visit." She turned to leave.
"Hey, Temari!"
She stopped and looked back over her shoulder.
"You'll make a great Kazekage," he said. "Believe it."
Temari blushed slightly as she looked at him.
"Thanks... Naruto."
Comments
travis btmb
Tftc
Michael Meyer
TFTC!!!
