ShuraZero
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Chapter 117: The Secret Advisor
🕑 Added 2025-10-30 21:31:32 +0000 UTCA groan.
That was the first sound Naruto registered.
The second was a sharp pain at the base of his neck.
He opened his eyes.
The morning sunlight hit him full in the face, bright and unforgiving. He blinked, feeling the dust on his eyelashes. He was disoriented. This wasn't his bed. This wasn't his apartment.
This was... a couch. A terribly uncomfortable leather couch.
He sat up abruptly, or tried to.
"Agh... my neck..."
He looked around, his vision clearing. The Hokage's office.
Well, what was left of it.
It was a disaster.
It wasn't Hiruzen's organized mess, with its neat stacks of scrolls, the familiar smell of tea and his pipe smoke.
This was the impact zone of a disaster. It was the epicenter of a bureaucratic explosion.
Stacks of scrolls with damage reports were piled so high in the corners they looked like structural pillars about to collapse. ANBU patrol reports were mixed with reimbursement requests from the village carpenters, invoices for urgent medical supplies, and what looked like a formal complaint about the price of fish.
Naruto rubbed his eyes. "What the hell...?"
And in the middle of it all, sitting behind the desk that once belonged to the Third, sat the "new" Tsunade.
Her blonde hair, now vibrant and free of gray, was pulled into a messy bun that stray strands escaped from, as if she'd tried to tie it while fighting a hurricane. The Hokage robes were wrinkled and a bit too big for her, like she'd thrown them on in a hurry.
She had a dry ink smudge on her left cheek and a murderous look in her eyes.
She was staring intently at a scroll about cement resource allocation. Her stillness was more terrifying than a scream.
"Ugh... my back..." murmured Naruto again, managing to sit up this time. The leather couch creaked loudly in protest, a pitiful sound in the tense silence. "This couch is a torture device... Grandma?"
Tsunade didn't look up from the scroll.
"Don't even breathe, brat."
Naruto froze, one hand still rubbing his neck.
"I'm about to find out," she continued, her teeth clenched, "why our plaster budget has tripled in the last twelve hours. Did someone eat the plaster? Are we building a second Konoha Wall without telling me?"
"Wow..." Naruto said, getting to his feet slowly. He stretched fully, arching his back until several more bones popped. "Ahhh, much better. Hey, it wasn't a dream. You still look... incredibly young."
Tsunade slammed a finger on the desk, making a nearby stack of scrolls wobble dangerously.
"And angry," Naruto added quickly, seeing her expression. "Very, very angry. Is it about the plaster? Because if it is..."
"'Emergency request for cobalt blue roof tiles'!" Tsunade finally looked up from the scroll and grabbed another, waving it in the air like a weapon. "The hospital needs blue tiles?"
"Well, blue is a nice color," Naruto offered, shrugging.
"Are we in the middle of a post war crisis or are we redecorating!" she yelled, her voice echoing in the dusty room. "I hate this! I hate cobalt blue! I hate roof tiles! I hate this chair!"
She dropped the scroll on the desk, where it landed on a wet ink blot, ruining it. "Great! Perfect!"
She grabbed another. "ANBU recruitment! West Gate patrol report! Crop compensation request! Someone wants money because a wild boar ate their tomatoes! I want to burn it all!"
Naruto approached cautiously, skirting a pile of boxes he didn't remember seeing before. "Wow, calm down. At this rate, you're going to get a wrinkle."
Tsunade froze.
The silence that fell in the office was sudden and absolute. Even the dust seemed to stop in midair.
She looked up slowly. Her amber eyes, now bright and youthful, fixed on him with an intensity that sent a chill down Naruto's spine.
"A... what?"
The air turned cold. Naruto realized his mistake. He had stepped on a landmine.
"I mean!" he stammered, waving his hands frantically. "A wrinkle... of worry! Yeah! Because you're so worried about the village! It's a commitment wrinkle!"
"Worry...?" she repeated, her voice dangerously soft.
"Sure! It shows your... your... leadership! Yeah, that's it! People will see that wrinkle and say 'Wow, that's a Hokage who cares about our plaster'!"
Tsunade leaned back in her chair, the movement slow and deliberate. She rubbed her temples so hard Naruto worried she'd drill a hole in her head.
"If I get a single wrinkle, Naruto," she said, her voice lethally calm, "a single visible line on this face that you restored... I swear on my grandfather that I will use you as the official paperweight for this damn pile of reports."
Naruto swallowed. "Right... a paperweight. Got it."
She dropped her hands to the desk with a dull thud. "Grandma?"
"I'm twenty five years old again," she muttered, staring at the ceiling as if looking for answers there. "And I already feel eighty. This is a scam. A complete scam. I should have stayed in Tanzaku Town. At least there the debts were just money."
Naruto watched as she looked back at the pile of papers, her shoulders sinking under an invisible weight. The rage was gone, replaced by pure, profound exhaustion.
He moved closer, his tone turning more serious, dropping the jokes. "Hey, seriously. You should take a break."
"No."
"You've been here all night, haven't you? I can smell the burnt coffee from here."
"And the sake," she admitted quietly. "But it didn't help."
"Maybe a bowl of ramen?" he suggested. "Food helps you think. It always helps me. Ichiraku's must be opening."
The word "ramen" seemed to be the wrong trigger.
Tsunade shot to her feet. The chair flew backward, hitting the wall with a hard crack.
"A break?"
She started pacing the room, weaving through the chaos like a caged animal.
"I can't take a break! You know who's 'resting' right now? Hiruzen! He's 'resting' in a hospital bed, recovering from the injuries that almost killed him!"
Naruto took a step back. "Grandma, I didn't mean..."
"And Jiraiya!" she continued, not listening. She pointed to a large hole in the office wall, one that definitely wasn't there yesterday. It had a suspiciously large man shaped outline. "He's 'resting' in the hospital too! Because someone punched him so hard he went through three walls of the tower!"
Naruto stared at the hole. "Wow. Seriously? Three walls?"
"Which, by the way, was me!" she yelled, spinning to face him. "Because he wouldn't stop talking!"
"Technically, the pervy sage is always talking..."
"And I'm here!" Tsunade swept the room with a wide, furious gesture, pointing at the stacks of paper. "Drowning in ink and requests for blue tiles! Buried alive under the weight of a million problems I didn't care about two days ago!"
She stopped, breathing hard, her chest rising and falling.
"And it's all! It's all your fault!"
Naruto recoiled another step, genuinely shocked. "My fault?"
The silence fell again.
"My fault?" he repeated, this time with more force. "Hey, wait a minute! How is this my fault? I'm the one who made you young and hot again!"
Tsunade stopped dead in her tracks.
She pointed an accusing finger at him, trembling slightly with rage.
"You made me responsible!" she hissed. "That's worse! Much worse! You gave me this power and this... this... pretty face... and now everyone in this damn village expects me to fix their problems! They expect me to rebuild their houses, find their lost cats, and approve their plaster budgets!"
She stepped toward him. "You forced me to stop running! You ruined my indefinite vacation! I had a losing streak to maintain!"
Naruto looked at her. He saw the rage, saw the panic under the rage. And he saw the total exhaustion under everything else.
And then, he smiled.
It was a small smile, barely a quirk of his lips, but it was there.
He knew she didn't mean it. Not really.
"Well," he said quietly, not moving as she approached. "You can't do it all alone."
"I just said that," she snapped, though her voice had lost some of its edge.
"No, you said Hiruzen and Jiraiya were resting. And that Shizune is busy. But you're not alone."
"Oh, no?" Tsunade crossed her arms. "Because from where I'm standing, I just see you, a horrible couch, and a mountain of paper that wants to eat me alive."
"You see me," Naruto repeated. "Exactly. You need... an assistant. A partner. Someone to help you with the important stuff. Someone who can... I don't know... taste test the ramen for you?"
Tsunade narrowed her eyes. The idea seemed to process slowly in her overloaded brain. "An assistant?"
"Yeah!"
"Shizune is already handling the hospital," she said, more to herself than to him. "She's trying to stop Gai from doing pushups in Rock Lee's recovery room and rationing painkillers for the ANBU at the same time. She's overloaded."
"Shizune's great," Naruto agreed. "But she's a medical ninja. You need someone... different."
"And who am I supposed to find?" Tsunade scoffed, walking back to her desk but not sitting. "I need someone who understands this madness, who isn't scared of blood, and who can read my handwriting when I'm drunk. That person doesn't exist."
Naruto jabbed his thumb at his chest, his smile widening into a full Naruto grin.
"Me, of course!"
Tsunade stared at him. The look on her face went from disbelief to disdain in under a second.
"You?"
"Sure! You said it yourself!" he said, stepping forward, his energy returning. "I got you into this! You said it! So... I'll help you get out! Or... you know... stay! We're a team, believe it!"
"A team?" she repeated, the word sounding strange in her mouth. "You're a rowdy Genin and I'm the Hokage. That's not a team, that's a headache sentence."
"But I know you! And I know the Third! And I know the village! And most importantly, I know how to make you mad and how to make you laugh! Probably more of the first one, but I can learn!"
Tsunade watched him, silent.
She looked at the mountain of paper on her desk, which seemed to have grown in the last five minutes.
She looked at the Jiraiya shaped hole in the wall.
She looked back at Naruto.
A slow, dangerous smile formed on her lips.
"You're right," she said quietly. "You did get me into this."
"Yeah! That's what I'm saying!"
"And you said you wanted to help."
"With all my power! Believe it!"
"Good."
She leaned over, grabbed a blank scroll from the table and a brush. She dipped it in the ink with a sharp movement. She wrote something with fast, furious strokes, so quickly Naruto couldn't read it. She blew the ink dry, rolled it up, sealed it with a hard stamp from a drawer.
And she tossed it to Naruto.
He caught it on pure instinct, almost hitting himself in the face.
He held it, confused. The scroll felt official and heavy.
"What is this?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously. "My first paycheck? Or an arrest warrant? Because if it's about the plaster..."
"It's your new title," she said, sitting back down in the Hokage's chair. The simple act of sitting seemed to take an effort. "Congratulations, brat."
"My... title?"
Naruto unrolled the scroll carefully. His eyes scanned, reading the kanji.
It took him a second.
He read.
He read it again.
His eyes went wide. His mouth dropped open.
"SECRET ADVISOR TO THE HOKAGE?!"
His yell was so loud and high pitched it vibrated the remaining glass in the windows. A pile of reports in the corner finally gave up and collapsed with a whisper of paper.
"REALLY?! ADVISOR! SECRET! It sounds so cool! I'M AN ADVISOR! IT'S ALMOST LIKE BEING HOKAGE! Wait till I tell Kiba! And Choji! And Sakura chan!"
"It's 'secret,' idiot."
Tsunade's voice, flat and tired, cut through his celebration.
Naruto froze mid jump. He landed with a thud.
"Oh."
He looked at the scroll. "Right. 'Secret'."
He immediately dropped his voice to an excited whisper that could probably still be heard on the floor below. "Right, right! Secret! Nobody can know! Got it! So... what do I do?"
He rushed to the desk, his eyes shining with unbridled excitement.
"What do I advise on? Secret jutsus? ANBU missions? Ramen? I have great ideas to improve the academy menu! We should add a 'Naruto Special'!"
Tsunade lazily lifted an arm and pointed to a pile of scrolls in the corner. The pile that had just collapsed.
"Start by advising that pile to get back in the corner," she said, her voice dead. "And then, when you're done playing with my mess... I want you to go to the hospital infirmary."
Naruto blinked. His excitement faded a bit, replaced by confusion. "The infirmary? Why? Am I hurt again?" He patted himself down, checking. "No, I think I'm fine. The couch hurt, but..."
"No, you're not hurt. But our 'guest' from Suna is."
Tsunade's tone changed. It became professional, cold.
Naruto's smile vanished completely. He became serious.
"Guest from Suna?"
"Temari. The girl with the giant fan."
"Gaara's sister," Naruto said quietly. The energy in the room shifted. The fun was gone.
"Exactly," Tsunade said. She leaned forward, clasping her hands on the desk. "You know very well that your dear roommate in the infirmary had her arm broken from the fight with Gaara."
"Sakura chan..."
"Shizune healed it, she's fine. But the Suna girl is there too. Shizune fixed her arm, but there's a problem."
"What problem?"
"She's bored, she's lonely, and according to the nurses' reports, she's in a very, very bad mood. She's scaring the other patients. Apparently, she threatened to use her fan on a nurse who brought her cold soup."
"Sounds like someone I know," Naruto muttered, glancing at Tsunade.
She ignored him. "And honestly, I don't have time to deal with prisoner of war diplomacy right now. I have no idea what to do with her. Is she a prisoner? A hostage? A failed ally? I don't know. And right now, I have to figure out who authorized the purchase of blue roof tiles."
Naruto looked at her, starting to understand. "You want me to...?"
"What part of 'Advisor' did you not understand?" Tsunade reached into a pouch on her belt, pulled out a small cloth bag, and tossed it to him.
Naruto caught it by instinct. It jingled. Coins.
"I want you to 'interrogate' her. It's your first official mission as my Secret Advisor."
"Interrogate her?!" Naruto's voice shot up again. "But I don't know how to interrogate! That's Ibiki sensei's job! He's scary! I'm not scary! People say I'm like sunshine!"
"Exactly," Tsunade said with a half smile. "You're not going to torture her. Ibiki would scare her to death, and then Suna would have a real reason to hate us."
"Then what do I do?"
"I want you to talk to her. Like you talk. I want you to find out what she knows about Gaara's condition. What she knows about the political situation in Suna. Her father, the Kazekage, is dead. Orochimaru betrayed them. They're in chaos."
Naruto nodded slowly, the weight of the mission settling in.
"Make her comfortable. Buy her lunch with that. Take her for a walk around the hospital grounds. Whatever."
Naruto looked at the bag of coins. "You want me to ask her on a date?"
"I want you to get her off my problem list!" Tsunade yelled, rubbing her temples again. "And I want you to get information!"
"But... why me? Sakura chan is smarter. Kakashi sensei..."
"Because you're good with difficult people!" Tsunade cut him off. "You're the only person in this village who can talk to a Jinchuriki like they're a person, or talk to their family, without making everything explode."
The room went quiet as Naruto processed that.
"So... my mission is... to talk?"
"Your mission is to find out if Suna is still a threat or if they can be allies. If she is a threat or an ally. And frankly, brat, you're the only one who can find out."
Tsunade leaned back, a calculating look in her eyes. "Nobody lets their guard down around a 'loudmouthed idiot' like you. They'll use words you don't think you understand. They'll underestimate you. And you will listen."
Naruto felt something shift inside him. This wasn't a joke. It wasn't a game.
It was a real mission. It was trust.
He clenched the bag of coins in his hand. His face hardened with a determination that wasn't there a minute before.
"Understood, Chief."
"Chief? I like it."
"Super secret interrogation mission! Talk to the fan girl! I'll do it! I won't fail!"
"Good. Now get out. I need peace."
Naruto spun around and ran for the door. "Operation 'Diplomatic Lunch' is underway!"
He tripped over the collapsed pile of reports on his way out, sending scrolls flying everywhere.
"Hey!" Tsunade yelled.
"Sorry! I'll fix it later! Secret mission!"
He disappeared down the hall, his footsteps echoing loudly.
Tsunade watched him go. "And don't tell anyone your title!" she shouted into the empty hallway.
The only reply was the echo of Naruto's footsteps.
She was left alone in the office, now somehow even more chaotic than before. The silence descended.
She sighed, a long, tired sound. She sat down.
She looked at the mountain of papers. She looked at the ruined "blue tiles" scroll.
"Secret Advisor..."
A small, almost unnoticeable and genuine smile appeared on her face.
"Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea..."
She grabbed the plaster scroll.
"At least I'll get five minutes of silence."
Comments
travis btmb
Tftc
Ari Gómez García
I wanted to clarify something: when Naruto saw the future, it was like he was watching an anime. Think about it: when you watch a show, you don't memorize every single detail from start to finish, but you get the general gist and grow fond of the characters. Now, imagine that same experience, but the 'anime' is your own life, featuring people you interact with every day
jrman2
In this story, Naruto saw visions of the anime when he got the Falna. I bring this up because I'm pretty sure that he hasn't met Jiraya yet but talks like he knows him.
