ShuraZero
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Chapter 12: House Rules and an Angry Heiress
🕑 Added 2025-10-27 06:00:21 +0000 UTCNaruto dragged himself down the hallway.
Every muscle in his body screamed. His shoulders burned from moving moldy scrolls. His back was stiff from crouching. And his ankle, where "The Archivist" had bitten him, throbbed with a dull ache.
It was six-thirty in the evening. Shizune had released him after a terrifying inspection of the "M" pile, where she yelled at him for ten minutes because he had filed "Map Missions" under "M" instead of under the client's name.
He was covered in dust. He smelled like mold and dead feet.
And he was hungry. A gnawing kind of hunger. The soldier pill had worn off hours ago, leaving only the memory of its chalky taste.
He stopped in front of his apartment door.
His apartment.
...Our apartment.
The thought still felt strange. For a second, he seriously considered turning around, going to Ichiraku's, and spending what little money he had left on a bowl of ramen.
But then he remembered the empty bento box. And Tsunade's glare. And Hiashi's threat. And the fact that... well... she was in there. Alone.
"Ugh... 'maturity'..." he muttered to the door. "It really... sucks."
He took a deep breath, trying not to smell his own jacket, and stuck the key in the lock.
The door opened.
The apartment was silent.
It was... exactly as they had left it that morning. Spotlessly clean. Sterile. Empty.
And cold.
Hinata was sitting in the only wooden chair by the small kitchen table. She was sitting... perfectly straight. Hands in her lap. Like a statue.
When he entered, she flinched so violently the chair nearly fell over.
"Ah!"
"Ah!" he yelled, jumping back. "Sorry! It's me! Not... not 'The Archivist'!"
"Th-the... what?"
"Nothing! Work thing! Haha!" Naruto forced a laugh. It sounded like a dry cough.
He kicked off his sandals, noticing with a new panic that they left dusty footprints on the floor Sakura had cleaned. "Crap! Shoes! House rules!"
He crouched and wiped the prints with his sleeve. "There! No... no dirt! All... responsible!"
He straightened up.
Hinata was staring at him. Her pale eyes were huge. She was... scared.
An awkward silence filled the room.
"Uh..." Naruto said. "...I'm here."
Hinata swallowed. "W-welcome... home... Naruto-kun."
They both flinched. The word "home" sounded so incredibly strange it seemed to hang in the air between them, like a bad smell.
"Haha! Yeah! 'Home'!" Naruto said, scratching the back of his neck.
He rubbed his stomach, which had just let out a pitiful growl.
"Oh!"
He remembered.
"I've... got something! For you!"
He shrugged off his backpack, which was also covered in dust, and carefully pulled out the bento wrapped in purple cloth. The warmth was long gone.
He held it out.
"Here."
Hinata looked at it like it was some kind of trap. "Wh-what...?"
"It's the stipend," Naruto said. "The one Granny Tsunade mentioned. It's your lunch. Or dinner. I guess."
Hinata took the box. Her fingers, cold and trembling, brushed against his.
They both snatched their hands back as if they'd been burned.
"And...!" Naruto added, too quickly. "She... she said not to eat your fish! And I didn't! I swear! Even though it smelled... really good! But I didn't! Because it's yours! And I'm not hungry!"
His stomach chose that exact moment to let out a roar so loud it sounded like a bear waking up.
GRRRROOWWWLLL.
Naruto turned bright red. "That... that was my stomach! But not... not from hunger! It's... it's... digesting! Yeah! Digesting... the pill!"
Hinata looked down at the bento. She held it with both hands.
"Th-thank you..." she whispered. "D-did... you eat?"
"Sure! A... a feast! At work!" Naruto lied, leaning against the wall (and leaving a dust smudge he didn't see). "Soldier pills! Expired! Tasted like... like chalk... and dead feet! It was delicious! Don't worry about me!"
Hinata's eyes widened in horror. "Dead... feet?"
"It's... it's a joke!" he said, waving his hands. "No! Yes! I don't know! It was disgusting! But it's my job! My... my 'responsible' job!"
"Oh..."
"So... eat!" Naruto said, pointing at the box. "Eat! Don't let it get cold! Oh, wait, it's already cold! Well, eat it... before it... gets sad!"
Hinata looked at the box. Then at the empty room.
"N-Naruto-kun?"
"Yeah?"
"A-are... you not... going to eat?"
"Me? Bah! I ate... I told you! Pills! I'm... full! Stuffed!"
GRRRROOWWWLLL.
The traitorous stomach.
"That... that's... The Archivist!" Naruto said, desperate. "It... it got in my jacket! Haha!"
Hinata didn't look convinced.
Naruto sighed, defeated. He ran to the kitchen, opened the cabinet Sakura had cleaned, and pulled out the only remaining item.
A cup of instant noodles. Miso flavor.
Sakura had left a note stuck to it: "For stupidity emergencies. -S."
"Look!" he said, holding it high. "My dinner! Just as good! Better, even! Now... eat!"
He set water to boil. The kettle's whistle was the only sound in the apartment for a minute.
Naruto sat on the floor, back against the wall, the cup of hot noodles in his hands.
Hinata was still in the chair. She opened the bento.
The smell of glazed fish and fresh rice filled the room. It clashed violently with the smell of instant miso.
They ate.
The only sound was Naruto slurping his noodles. Loudly.
SLUUUURP... SLUUUURP...
Hinata ate delicately, picking up tiny pieces of fish with her chopsticks.
The silence stretched. Naruto couldn't stand it.
"Apartment's clean, huh!" he said, mouth full of noodles. "Haha! Sakura-chan is... terrifying! But efficient!"
Hinata flinched, almost dropping her chopstick. "Y-yes. She's... she's a good friend."
"The best!" Naruto said. "Even though she almost killed me! Over the notebook!"
Hinata looked at him, confused. "The... notebook?"
"NOTHING! Research! Men's... stuff! Mature... and responsible... stuff!"
He shoved more noodles in his mouth.
Silence again. Just the slurp and the soft click of Hinata's chopsticks against the bento box.
This was worse than the basement.
Naruto finished his noodles, drinking the broth in one gulp.
"AH! Great! All done!"
He set the cup on the floor with a thud.
Hinata jumped again.
"Sorry! Loud... cup!"
She hadn't eaten much. Just picked at the fish.
"You... not hungry?" he asked, a little softer. "You don't like fish? I told Granny you liked fish! I was wrong! Dammit! I ruined the stipend!"
"N-no!" she said quickly. "It's... it's delicious! Really! It's... it's the best fish I've ever had! I'm... just... thinking!"
"Oh! Thinking! Good! Good! That's good!" Naruto stood, feeling restless. "I... I think too! All the time! Right now, I'm thinking...!"
What was he thinking? "About... about... my slave job! And the rat-thing! And your dad!"
He realized that was not the right thing to say.
"I mean!" he recovered. "I was thinking... about... curtains!"
Hinata stopped, a piece of rice halfway to her mouth. She stared.
"...Curtains?"
"Yeah! For the window!" Naruto felt relieved to have a topic. "I mentioned it yesterday! Or... was it this morning? Time is... weird! But...!"
He walked to the now-clean window.
"Here! It needs... something! Because... the brick wall is... well, it's boring! And... and people can look in! And... and... see us! Living! Together!"
He realized that was also the wrong thing to say. He turned red.
"So... curtains!" he said, spinning around abruptly. "What... what color? Orange? Orange is a great color! Very... energetic! And... it matches my...!" He glanced at his dirty jacket on the floor. "...my... personality."
Hinata looked at him. Her eyes followed his gaze to the jacket.
"B-but..." she said, her voice so small he could barely hear it. "Wouldn't... wouldn't that be... very... bright? F-for... sleeping?"
Naruto stopped.
He blinked.
She had given... an opinion. A real opinion.
"Oh! Right! Sleeping!" he said, feeling like an idiot. "Hadn't thought of that! Good point, Hinata! Very... very strategic!"
She blushed, looking down. "N-no... it's just... orange is..."
"No, you're right! It's too bright! Totally! So...!" he got excited. "Blue! Like... the sky? Or... or... the ocean!"
"Wh-white..." she whispered. "Would be... nice, Naruto-kun. S-simple."
"White?"
"Y-yes. Clean."
"White! Yes! White! That's... that's perfect!" he said. "Like... like your eyes! Wait, no, that's cheesy! Dammit! Hanabi would call me a 'dumbiot'!"
Hinata covered her mouth. A small, choked sound came out.
Naruto stared. "What? What was that? Are... are you choking?"
She shook her head, her shoulders trembling.
He took a step closer. "Are... you laughing?"
Hinata lowered her hand. A small, tiny smile was on her lips. "D-dumbiot... I... I like it."
Naruto stared at her. And then, he smiled too.
"Yeah! It's pretty good, actually! That Hanabi is... smart! And terrifying!"
"White it is!" he said, feeling absurdly proud. "I'll... I'll write it down! On my... my 'husband stuff' list!"
He pretended to write on his palm. "Item one: White curtains. Item two: Don't... piss off... Hanabi."
BANG! BANG! BANG!
A knock on the door.
It wasn't a polite knock. It was an aggressive knock. An "inspection" knock.
Naruto and Hinata froze.
Hinata's smile vanished. The color fled from her face.
"N-no..."
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"That... that's not Granny!" Naruto whispered. "Her knock... breaks the wood!"
Hinata stood up, trembling. "Th-that's..."
BANG! "Open the door, 'dumbiot'! I know you're in there! And I know you're ruining my sister's life!"
Naruto closed his eyes. "Dammit..."
He walked to the door. "I'm coming, I'm coming! Stop banging! It's not...!"
He opened the door.
Hanabi was standing there. She wore a dark blue training yukata. Her arms were crossed. Her face was a mask of contained fury.
Behind her, in the hall, were two Hyuga servants dressed in formal robes. They stood stiff as boards, each holding a massive, heavy, lacquered-wood chest.
"Move, idiot."
Hanabi shoved Naruto aside and stalked into the apartment.
"Hey! It's my house too! Now! I think! And I just cleaned it!"
Hanabi ignored him.
She stopped in the middle of the room. Her sharp, pale eyes scanned every inch.
The clean kitchen. The empty sink. The scrubbed floor.
"Huh."
Naruto puffed up with pride. "Yeah! Clean, huh! We did...!"
"Sakura-san did a good job," she cut him off. "Where's the tower of bowls? I wanted to see it. For a laugh."
"It's... it's retired! Permanently retired! Like... like an old ninja!"
Hanabi walked to the fridge and opened it. The inside was empty.
"Impressive. No humming milk." She glanced at him. "I guess even you have a survival instinct. Or Sakura-chan threatened you."
"A little of both!"
Hanabi turned to the servants, who were still in the hall.
"You! Inside! Leave the chests there!" She pointed to an empty space against the wall. "And get out."
"Yes, Hanabi-sama!"
The two men entered rigidly, their faces impassive. They deposited the two giant chests on the floor. The thud of the heavy wood vibrated the floor.
They bowed and fled, as if afraid Naruto's stupidity was contagious.
Hanabi shut the door.
She turned.
She didn't look at Naruto. She walked straight to Hinata, who had shrunk against the kitchen wall.
Hanabi's voice softened. Just a little. But the fury was still there.
"Sister."
"H-Hanabi-chan..."
"Are you okay?" Hanabi looked her up and down, as if checking for wounds. "Has he... bothered you? Did he do anything? Did he touch your food?"
"N-no!" Hinata said quickly. "Not at all! Naruto-kun... has been... kind! He... he gave me... the fish!"
She held up the half-eaten bento as if it were proof.
Hanabi's eyes narrowed. She looked at the bento. Then she looked at Naruto, who was trying to hide his empty instant noodle cup behind his back.
"You gave her the food Tsunade-sama paid for. How generous."
"And I ate chalk!" Naruto said, offended. "Expired soldier pill! And I got bit by a giant scroll-rat at work!"
"A... scroll-rat?" Hinata asked, confused.
Hanabi ignored him. She focused on her sister again. "Sister, where did you sleep?"
Hinata turned red. "I-in... in the bed. Naruto-kun... he..." she pointed to the floor. "He... slept... there. On... on a blanket."
Hanabi's eyebrows shot up.
That... that was unexpected.
She looked at Naruto. The surprise on her face was genuine.
Naruto stood taller, feeling proud again. "Of course I slept on the floor! I'm... I'm responsible! And a gentleman!"
Hanabi snorted. The surprise vanished, replaced by the usual disdain.
"Or you're afraid I'll kill you. Good. At least you have one functional brain cell left."
She turned sharply to Naruto, giving him her full attention. Her eyes drilled into him, furious.
"Alright, 'dumbiot'."
"I heard you say that to Granny!" Naruto yelled. "What does 'dumbiot' even mean?! It's 'dumb' and 'idiot', right! That's...!"
"Shut up, I'm talking!"
Naruto shut up.
"Since my father, in his infinite, senile madness, has decided to spare your life..."
"Hey!"
"And since my sister," she continued, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "is officially trapped in this... palace... with you..."
"Hanabi-chan, don't say...!" Hinata whispered.
"We are going to establish some rules!" Hanabi said, ignoring her sister. "My rules."
She crossed her arms. "Because I'm the heiress now. And unlike Father, I don't care about 'clan honor'. Or 'politics'. I just care that my sister doesn't end up dead, crazy, or traumatized from living with you."
"I'm not going to traumatize her!" Naruto protested.
"Rule number one." Hanabi held up a finger. "You don't touch her."
Naruto turned red. "I wasn't touching her! I just gave her the bento! And I grabbed her hand when we were running! So we wouldn't get killed!"
"I don't care," Hanabi said, her voice frigid. "You don't touch her. No 'accidents'. No 'falling'. No 'tactical training' in the onsen."
Naruto winced. "That was...!"
"If you breathe in her direction in a way I don't like, I will make sure you stop breathing. Permanently. Understood?"
Naruto swallowed. The chalky taste returned. "U-understood. No... breathing. Near. Got it."
"Rule number two." She held up a second finger. "What's hers, is hers. What's yours... gets burned."
"What?! But...!"
"Those chests..." she pointed to the wooden boxes. "Contain her things. Clothes. Toiletries. Bedding. Real bedding, not that faded orange thing Sakura-san had to incinerate for public health reasons!"
Naruto looked at his blanket on the floor. "Hey, that blanket was fine!"
"You will use your own... stinky-towel! You will use your own...!" She paused, looking genuinely disgusted. "What do you use? Sand? Leaves?"
"I use soap! Sometimes! Sakura-chan left me some!"
"I don't care. You don't touch her things. Those chests are Hyuga territory. If I see a single orange thread on her clothes, I will rip your arms off. And eat them."
Naruto took a step back. "I... I won't touch her stuff! I swear! I have my own... stinky-towel! And my soap! And my sand!"
Hanabi ignored him. "Rule number three." Three fingers. "She sleeps in the bed. You sleep on the floor. Always. No exceptions."
"WE WERE ALREADY DOING THAT!" Naruto yelled. "I'm...!"
"And rule number four!"
Hanabi's voice dropped. It went... quiet. And that was much worse.
Naruto waited.
"My father gave you this marriage to save honor. To stop a scandal. Fine. It's stupid, but it's politics. I get it."
She took a step closer to him. Naruto was taller, but he suddenly felt much smaller.
"But if you... if because of your stupidity... she gets hurt..."
Hanabi's pale eyes bored into his.
"If you make her cry... if you scare her... if you make her feel... anything other than safe... if you harm a single hair on her head..."
She was so close he could feel the fury radiating off her.
"My father won't have to execute you."
"Hanabi," Hinata whispered, terrified. "Please..."
"Because I'll do it."
Naruto tensed. "Hey, you already threatened me in Granny's office..."
"And I'm not him," Hanabi hissed. "I don't care about 'political alliances'. I don't care about Tsunade-sama. I don't care about the 'Jinchuriki weapon'. I will find you. I will put a Jyuuken strike straight through your heart while you sleep."
She paused.
"And then I'll tell everyone it was a 'cleaning accident'. That you slipped on a noodle and impaled yourself on a kunai. And I assure you... everyone will believe me."
The silence in the room was total.
Hinata wasn't moving. Her face was white with terror.
Naruto looked at Hanabi. He saw the absolute, cold fury in her eyes. It wasn't a joke. It wasn't an exaggeration.
It was a promise.
Naruto's expression changed. The panic disappeared. The stupidity faded.
His voice, when he spoke, was quiet. Serious.
"I'm not going to hurt her, Hanabi."
Hanabi snorted. "That's what you said before..."
"It was an accident," Naruto cut her off. "I was an idiot. Whatever. You're right. I admit it. But I'm... I'm not like that."
He looked at Hinata, who was watching them with huge eyes.
"I'm not going to... to hurt her. I'll... I'll protect her. It's... it's my job now. Right? The... the 'responsible' job."
Hanabi stared at him for a long, long, hard second. Searching his face for something, anything.
Finally, she looked away with a "Tsk."
"Whatever. Cheap words. They come easy from your mouth."
She turned to Hinata. "Sister. You don't have to stay here. This is insane. I can... I can talk to Father. I can... I can take on more training. I can..."
Hinata shook her head. She found her voice.
"N-no, Hanabi-chan. It's... it's okay. Father... Father made his decision. I'm... I'm fine. Really."
"You're not 'fine'!" Hanabi snapped, her frustration boiling over. "You're not fine! You're living in... in a clean closet with the biggest idiot in the entire village!"
"Hey!" Naruto yelled. "It's an apartment! Not a closet! And it's getting... curtains! White ones! Soon! I wrote it on my list!"
Hanabi ignored him, letting out a deep, frustrated sigh. She sounded... sad.
"Fine. Fine. Do what you want. Like always."
She walked to the door.
"I'll come check on you tomorrow. After my heiress training. To make sure you're still alive."
She opened the door.
"Oh, and Naruto..."
Naruto looked at her.
"If you use her soap, I'll know. My Byakugan can see... the stench of your stupidity."
SLAM!
The door slammed shut.
Naruto and Hinata were left alone.
The apartment was silent again.
The two Hyuga chests, enormous and dark, looked completely out of place against the bare walls.
Hanabi's tension was gone, but the awkwardness returned. A thousand times worse.
Naruto let out a breath, a hiss of air he didn't know he was holding. "Wow."
He rubbed the back of his neck.
"Your... your sister... is... intense."
Hinata nodded, not looking at him. She was staring at the chests. "Sh-she... worries. A lot."
"Yeah! I noticed! She... she threatened to kill me! Two... two times! I think! I lost count! Haha!"
There was no laugh.
Naruto rubbed his stomach. The growl was back.
"Uh... still... hungry? The... the fish...?"
Hinata looked at the bento, still in her hands. "Oh... n-no. I'm... I'm full. Thank you."
"Great! Good! Because...!"
GRRRROOWWWLLL.
The sound was obscenely loud in the quiet room.
Hinata's head snapped up.
Naruto's face went deep red. "That... that wasn't... wasn't my stomach! It was... the house! Settling! It's... an old building! Very... very rustic!"
Hinata looked at him. She looked at the bento in her hands. She looked at his sweaty, dust-covered face.
"N-Naruto-kun..."
"Yeah?"
"D-did... you eat... for real?"
"Sure! The pill! Super... nutritious! Tastes like feet!"
"You... you haven't eaten," she said. It wasn't a question. It was a statement.
"I'm fine! I'm not...!"
GROWL.
"Dammit, you traitor stomach!"
Hinata took a step forward. She held out the bento box.
"P-please."
Naruto backed away. "No! Hinata, it's yours! It's your stipend! Tsunade will... she'll skin me alive if I touch your fish!"
"I... I can't eat it all," she whispered. "It's... it's too much. And... and... you shouldn't... you shouldn't... eat feet pills."
"But...!"
"Please, Naruto-kun."
He looked at her. She was blushing, a soft red. But her eyes were firm. She was holding the box, her hands shaking only a little, but she wasn't lowering it.
He sighed. The smell of the fish was too good.
"...Okay."
His voice was rough. "But... just... just the fish. You... you eat the rice."
"B-but..."
"It's... it's husband duty! I mean, fiancรฉ duty! To... to make sure... the fiancรฉe... eats... carbs! It's... mature! And responsible!"
He reached over. Very carefully, as if disarming a trap, he plucked the remaining piece of glazed fish from the box.
"Thanks, Hinata."
He popped it in his mouth.
The taste...
"AH! SO GOOD!" he yelled, mouth full. "IT'S... IT'S... REAL FOOD! IT'S NOT CHALK! IT'S NOT FEET! IT'S... FISH!"
He started dancing on the spot, chewing happily.
And Hinata... smiled.
A real smile. Small. Tired. But real.
She covered her mouth, but she couldn't hide the giggle that escaped.
Naruto stopped, mouth full. "What?"
"N-nothing... it's just... you... have... sauce... on... on your nose..."
Naruto touched his nose. "Oh! Dammit!"
He started to wipe the sauce, but only spread it further.
Hinata laughed again.
The tension was broken.
For now.
